Ruined

by Rebecca Grey

  Windre had a smile growing from cheek to cheek. “Plus, we have to have some fun, now don’t we?” He clapped his hands on Randsin and Jerydin’s backs. “It’s a plan. Good work, team.” He jumped up from the desk pausing at my side.

  He leaned down his features softening. “Ryker,” he said in a hushed tone, “this isn’t about your capabilities. You are more than capable. Just keep that in mind.” Windre gave me a small smile before he walked out of the room, Hattie quickly followed behind him.

  In his absence Daethian continued shaking his head. His hands balanced on his lean hips muttering under his breath, “He is nuts, he is beyond nuts, this guy.”

  Graceson huffed a breath at Daethian and pushed off from his spot against the wall, leaving the room as well. I guessed that was that though. We all had our orders now, it was just a matter of when we were to follow them. I didn’t know much of the Twinity Court and my stomach sat uneasy at the thoughts of my sister purposefully heading off to the Heathern Court in my place. That morning seemed to have just begun and had already taken a rapid turn for the worst.

  ***

  When it finally came to parting ways I hadn’t come up with any ideas to change Hattie’s mind. I stood down the hall, my face drooped in a pout as I slung my bag around my shoulder.

  Graceson had helped me pack a bag and gotten me up to speed on our travels to the Twinity Court. I’d been there once before, before the Day of Ruin. This court was coated in winter and their temperatures required extra fabrics.

  The Twinity Court people mostly kept to themselves. They were a prophetic people who knew everyone’s business before they did. They were prim and proper and always ahead of the times as they followed trends that hadn’t happened yet.

  Confidently, I stood ready for my mission. Proud of even the few days of hard work I had put into my training. I was capable. Just as Windre had said. Even if I hadn’t mastered anything. Self doubt scratched at that confidence, the push back from Hattie and Daethian leaving me unsure. If only Hattie and Daethian agreed with my readiness.

  Hurried steps resounded across the halls as the rest of the group joined me. Hattie, Randsin, and Graceson were all strapped with gear and ready for our journeys. Hattie was quieter than normal, but under the circumstances I guess it made sense. She would be carrying a lot on her shoulders. She turned often, glancing around like she was trying to find someone. Windre perhaps? Would he come to say his goodbye to her?

  They had pulled Hattie’s hair out of her ponytail and trimmed it to look as mine had when I left Ganglin’s court. Although she was much fuller figured and more muscular than I had been in my time there.

  Finally, it came time for us to actually head our separate ways and I had yet to see Daethian. Hattie hugged me and a smile that didn’t meet her eyes lifted her cheeks.

  “You be safe, Hattie. Do what you need to do, but don’t get yourself killed,” I murmured into her shoulder.

  “And you, you keep Graceson in line. Keep your eyes open and remember everything that we have worked on. I have faith in you.” She squeezed me one last time and stepped back.

  I nodded at Randsin. “You take good care of her.”

  Randsin merely grunted and sent me off with a vulgar gesture. The man we all know and love.

  Unable to look at them any longer I turned to follow Graceson who stood patiently by me only to be stopped by a broad firm chest.

  “For the love of the Mother, Daethian!” I gritted, rubbing my nose where it had scraped the rough material of his shirt.

  “Did you think you were gonna get away without saying goodbye to yours truly?" he asked, looking genuinely hurt.

  Graceson frowned and walked around him heading out the door without another word. Daethian leaned down and covered his mouth on one side to quiet his words. “That guy is kind of a prick when he gets stuck doing something he doesn’t want to. Try not to kill him on your journey, though it wouldn’t be our biggest loss.”

  His lopsided grin spread and caught like an illness as I smiled back. His arms wrapped around me in a bear hug. We stood for the moment together, embraced, just breathing. I knew everything would be fine, I had nothing to worry about, his arms comforted a place I didn’t know needed soothed.

  We broke apart and I gave a half hearted wave to him and the others. All too soon I was walking away from the luxury of the Acture Court following Graceson on foot towards the allusive Twinity Court. Graceson didn’t appear to have much to say, the scowl that had been plastered over his face was long forgotten on his features, however, whatever was bothering him seemed to play over in his mind as his playful nature had yet to emerge. So we continued through the colorful forests that eventually faded to bushy evergreen pines.

  I tried not to slow him down but I wanted to take just a little bit of time to revel in the glorious beauty of nature. Let the slow wind that carried the crisp fir scents fill my lungs. The lukewarm breeze of the Acture Court slowly faded as we made way into the Twinity Court. Bitter cold brought memories of Randsin’s unseen fingertips tracing the innermost parts of my mind’s eye reminding me of the risk they were also taking. I fought to shake off the chill and the thoughts of Randsin and Hattie’s travels. They would be safe. They had to be and I had to believe it.

  After a full day of our trek, snow was now crunching under our boots. Graceson and I had opted to slip into the warm coats Windre had provided. That didn’t stop the wind from gnawing at my face until the feeling in the tip of my nose was a fond memory from earlier in the day. Through his expertise, certainly not mine, no matter how confident I was, Graceson scouted a small cave to rest for the night. Its stone walls kept out the majority of the elements that would give us dreadful frostbite or worse. A smile pulled at my lips, now cracked and dry, oh how the Mother had blessed us with this shelter. I knew from the preparation, well the small pep talk, what exactly we would be doing on this trip, most of which included me being silent until they needed my first hand account. Graceson had explained the time it would take to get there so I knew it was likely we still had a couple of days travel ahead of us.

  Graceson ushered me in and headed toward the back of the cave. Fire began coiling at his fingertips, flame rising higher as the wood he found caught. Somehow I knew he had powers, but I never bothered to ask what they were. He didn’t so much as blink while I gawked at him and the flame growing from his palms, the flickering of the light that sent shadows over the jagged rocky surfaces around us. He didn’t need flint or anything more than the pure magic within him. I balked at the blaze that rose higher. This is what the Mother intended of us, of our powers. Gifts that helped us live. Helped others.

  I curled inward under my layers as the waves of heat fanned out barely touching my face. The air was damp inside, moisture dripping along the walls as if the rock itself might melt like the ice.

  “We made pretty good time,” he said with a smile. Shrugging his backpack from his shoulders he pulled out an assortment of fruit and what looked like bundled cheese. My empty stomach roared under my layers of clothing. A noise he didn’t miss. His movements were fluid and so easy as he tossed some food up in the air for me to catch that I wondered if that fire in his veins helped to keep him from getting frigid and stiff like I had become.

  “Thanks.” I let the sweet taste of the fruit wake me up a bit and calm my angry stomach. With a large step I made my way closer to the flames letting the heat thaw my tight joints. Between the warmth and the fruit juices my spirits were on the rise even if exhaustion made my eyes heavy.

  “You know Graceson, I didn’t think fighting for my people would be this…” I started between mouthfuls of food.

  “Fun?” He completed my sentence brushing his red hair that had formed into icy crystals from his face before he teased, “Heartwarmingly handsome?”

  “Well, I was gonna go with difficult or maybe even tiring.” I rolled my eyes, chucking the core of my apple at him, which he easily dodged.

  “Oh, gotcha.” Graceso
n’s breath curled in front of him, despite the warmth he had provided the cave was still cold. Brisk, raw frosty winds trickled in from the entrance to remind us of the tundra that would meet us again should we emerge from this cavern. Sunlight was no longer peeping in to provide us any light or clue as to what might be lurking within the Twinity Court. No, as each flare of daylight vanished it gave way to a much scarier unknown land.

  “I mean in theory, it sounds great, like a good idea. But it is actual work. I’m not gonna quit or anything, but do you guys ever rest?” I said at last, examining the sharp edges of the acrid smelling den we now sat in. My fingers were sluggish, aching even, but I still found myself tracing the dirt floor under me as I spoke.

  “Heroes never sleep. Didn’t you know that? But speaking of which, we should actually try to get some sleep before tomorrow.”

  I agreed, sliding off my own pack and placing it under my head as a makeshift pillow and stretched out to lay on my side. His footsteps were not quiet as he walked around to lay at my side. I stiffened a bit at his closeness. Slowly, I could see the shadow of his hand as it rose up and wrapped around my waist, his body pressed against me.

  “Graceson. What are you doing?” I asked flatly, not bothering to move yet. There was indeed an inferno within him that must keep him from feeling the cold. His heat seeped through my layers until it reached my bones.

  “Relax, just trying to keep warm. Does it make you uncomfortable?”

  “Just a bit.”

  “I’ll let you be cold if you want. I wasn’t going to try anything.”

  Sure. I thought to myself. How many women had he charmed before me? How many of them did he leave empty and alone afterward? After all, he was fae and deep down I didn’t think I could trust him, not like that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

  He rolled to his back lying on his wings and tucking his arms back behind his head before he coughed. “Unless you wanted to...”

  “Really?” I scoffed, taken aback by his offer, twisting in my spot to take a good hard look at him. “Oh, that would be so kind of you to let me get a taste of what it’s really like to be with Graceson Igne.” I didn’t try to hide the sarcasm and bitter tone of my voice.

  “Well, we are both young and wild. I see that streak in you. The part that just wants to be out on your own living your life for adventure. Not held back or tied down.” I watched as he closed his eyes and relaxed. “You want it to end. This war. If only so you can explore the depth of which you could be yourself in the real world.”

  He wasn’t wrong. Not that I was going to tell him that. He didn’t need any more strokes to his already large ego. I didn’t bother to respond to him but mimicked his relaxed posture and closed my eyes.

  “Plus, you are beautiful,” he whispered into the firelight after a few minutes.

  My face flushed and I hid the small smile that threatened to creep up my cheeks at his compliment. Charisma. Graceson had it. Somehow I didn’t loathe him for it either.

  “Goodnight, Graceson,” I finally amended.

  “Night, Ryker”

  TWENTY

  Dace

  Fists clenched tight against the soft flannel sheets, I bolted upright in bed. Each wild beat of my heart reminded me that my large room was still not big enough to hold my need to see her. The need to just be in her presence. The built up pressure of desire swelled under my chest with every breath.

  Tonight I watched her walk down the crystal stairs of our ballroom. Her dress was a blush pink that clung to her every move. An overflow of curls cascaded down her bare back where her dress opened to reveal the toned muscle and twisted scars. Each step was a moment where time slowed and I admired the curves of her body. Her hips. The sway of her walk. Blood pumped, pounding, resounding in my ears.

  Joyous music played and fae danced around me but everything else was muted, the dancers nothing but a streak in my peripheral. My attention was drawn to each confident step she took towards me. Her tranquil gaze as she fanned her eyes over the scene before her made her look as if someone had taken a deadly weapon of war and dressed it in elegance to hide its stealth.

  Stepping through the crowd I neared her, stretching out my hand for hers. Desire pulsed through me. How could I contain myself around her? Glancing down at my offer she hesitated before ever so gently placing her hand in mine.

  As soon as I felt her feather light touch against my hand a heavy white fog swirled up, slowly covering my vision. The feeling of her touch escaped me, taking my heart with it. Through the snow covered limbs of lands that I quickly recognized as my own I watched as a fae man ran his face along her neck. Her face twisted in horror as he bellowed commands to the people around them. He dragged her through the trees by the strands of hair I wished to lovingly run my fingers through. She kicked and screamed, but her strength wasn’t enough.

  I yelled out as I watched, knowing she couldn’t hear me. I was merely a spectator in this horror that was her life. Begging her to fight harder and get out of his grasp my words went nowhere, but I spoke anyway. The look of terror on her features stained my memory. A thought I would bank with my other, many visions of her life.

  I was fifteen when I started seeing her. Watching her witness the death of her parents, the moment the Day of Ruin ripped her from the grasp of her sister, and then I watched her work under the sun of the Heathern Court. All of these scenes played in my dreams long before they would ever play out in real life. With all of the awful things I’d seen in her life, I was also blessed by the gods to see us. A future together. I’ve seen us laughing so hard our whole bodies shook. Felt the first moment our bodies intertwined. Every nightly vision like a hit of a drug that my body now craved.

  A year ago I went to take her from the cruelty of the Heathern Court but my father stopped me when he said, “The gift of these visions are not something to take advantage of. Never should we try to interfere with what was destined to happen.”

  I viewed them differently though than my family and the people of the Twinity Court. The future could always be changed. Destiny was clay in my hands to be molded and shaped as I saw fit, and I was creating mine in the image of her.

  Working to catch my breath I shrugged out of my covers, damp with sweat. The clothing I wore now was soggy and sticking to my chest as it rose and fell. My bare feet swung out and rested against a black shag carpet that lay next to my large four post bed. Leaning forward, resting my elbows against my knees, I cradled my head, grabbing at my hair, tangled from the night.

  I was well aware of how, in her presence, my body lit ablaze. I wasn’t with her now but the thought of her, the reality of her in my dreams left me flushed.

  Why was it like this every night? Why did she consume my every thought? She both thrilled me and boiled my blood as she kept me up at night. A growl ripped from my lips breaking the silence of the night. How could she be both my angel and my demon? It wasn’t possible.

  Reading the moon I knew I had time to make it out and back before anyone awoke for the day. So I reached for a new shirt I had slung over a chair, tossing it on and ridding myself of the old one. I buckled on my belt with the knives that I took everywhere reveling in the familiar comfort it gave to feel the heaviness on my hips. Pushing open the window further I invited in each bitter lashing from the familiar icy world outside.

  I welcomed each gush of air that embraced my body. Lowering my chin, I gave the waiting guard a nod. The routine was well understood. I would leave and he would keep it a secret helping to hide the fact that my royal room was empty yet again and in return he would have favor with me as I became the next king. The guard easily looked the other way as I closed my eyes and let my magic consume my body.

  The everyday sounds of the forest calmed my still thrashing heart. A familiarity in the woods was a mild comfort until eventually I made it. Quickly, I opened my eyes, happily where I wanted to be.

  I waved a hand and walked into the tree knowing it was an illusion and began my descent along the windin
g staircase. The dimly lit declivity was almost eerie as my shadow mimicked me along the wall. Each step creaked and whined at my weight.

  Minutes passed and I finally made it to the room I was looking for. The dark wooden door with an S carved just under the handle that I’d seen week after week for many more nights than I’d be willing to actually count. Standing, I swayed in front of the door, my fingers hesitant against the knob.

  My thoughts were never harmonious at this time of night. Each thought battled the next waging war inside my head. Why did I return here week after week when it left me just as empty as the last time? You’ve been doing it this long why bother stopping? Is there anything I could do that would keep me from eating away at myself? Screw it! Just do it. Why care?

  Easing open the door the minimal sound of the creaking hinges was enough to stir the inhabitant. Sleep was heavy in her eyes still. Shavarra sat up in her bunk, her large shirt falling dangerously low off her shoulder. Her pale blonde hair fell in waves, just past her chest as she blinked up at me and extended her slender arms in invitation.

  As I stepped toward her I gently kicked the door shut behind me. The soft thunk of the closed entryway sent me in motion towards her. I unbuckled my belt and let it rattle to the floor as I whispered to her, to the darkness, to myself, perhaps to no one in general, “This is the last time.”

  As I continued stepping closer to her I leaned down over her and brushed my lips against hers. Her colorless lips did not spark the same feeling that arose while I dreamt.

  “That’s what you always say,” she murmured against my mouth.

  TWENTY-ONE

  Ryker

  The fire had long since become ash. Without the fire I expected to wake up to the dingy gloom of the cavern but light had still found us. Morning light crept in from the mouth of the cave making up for the lack of firelight available. It spilled in from the entrance giving us a spotlight on the dusty, rocky floor.