by Kitty Neale
‘He can’t afford to have, what with Penny leaving so suddenly and no replacement yet,’ Jean pointed out. ‘Besides, I think he’s forgotten all that stuff about you and Andy. He keeps going on about how Andy’s turned over a new leaf, is bringing in proper money now, so they’re all relieved. Perhaps he’s settled down and grown up a bit.’ She bit her lip – from the little she knew it didn’t seem likely; Forsyth’s nephew wasn’t her cup of tea at all, but she wasn’t going to ask awkward questions. If it got the foreman off their backs then she wasn’t going to complain.
Rhona was surprised to find she didn’t mind being back at the factory. She enjoyed Jean’s company, not quite in the same way that she enjoyed Mavis’s, but it was good to be with someone just a few years older than herself and not one of her mother’s generation who didn’t understand what was going on these days. Compared to working alongside Penny it was almost restful. It was also a bit of a novelty to be at work this early and without a hangover. Somehow things that had seemed so difficult earlier in the year, like keeping up with the production line when the conveyor belt was at full speed, suddenly weren’t as hard. Maybe there was something to be said for staying in every evening and going to bed on time after all.
‘Sorry I couldn’t come round yesterday,’ said Tommy, as he and Mavis strolled around Peckham Rye Common, enjoying the last of the day’s heat and making the most of the light evening. ‘Jenny asked me to go to her place. I think she gets lonely when Stan’s not there, though she doesn’t like to say so.’
Mavis tipped back her head to gaze at the sky, as the sunset was tingeing the clouds with pink and lilac. ‘Can’t say I blame her, it’s a big house to be alone in, except for Greg.’
‘He was in his room for most of the evening anyway. We’re too boring for him.’ Tommy grinned. ‘Anyway, it’ll be Stan’s last trip before we all go away.’
‘Not long now.’ Mavis’s eyes shone. ‘I can’t wait. I’m going to get myself a swimming costume.’
‘Can’t wait to see you in that,’ Tommy said, drawing her to him. ‘You’ll have all eyes on the beach on you. But I want you all to myself. Talk about Jenny alone in a big house for some evenings – you have to take pity on me, rattling around that huge flat in Wandsworth.’
‘Oh, I do.’ Mavis knew his flat was bigger than many terraced houses, and one person alone in it could easily rattle around. She hugged him, as tightly as she could while out in public. This part of the common was very open and she didn’t want to draw attention to them. Then again, they weren’t the only couple out taking advantage of the gorgeous weather. ‘So Stan will be sorting out arrangements while he’s down there, I suppose.’
‘That’s the idea.’ Tommy nuzzled her neck and then her face. ‘We don’t have to worry about any of that, do we? He’s looking after it all.’
‘I know.’ She gazed up at him. ‘But do we know how many rooms the place has got? I don’t think he actually said.’
Tommy stopped and looked at her directly. ‘Are you worried about something? Is it the kids? They’ll love it, you know they will.’
‘No, it’s not that. Well, Grace will probably make a fuss about being in a strange bed but it’ll last a few minutes then she’ll be too excited to bother about it for long,’ Mavis replied, making a quick mental note to pack Little Ted. ‘It was more … it was more … about where I would sleep. About where you would sleep.’
Tommy’s expression grew puzzled. ‘I assumed you’d share with Grace, and James would go in with Greg, and I’d take one of the single rooms. I hadn’t thought that much about it to be honest. Trust you to start worrying about a thing like that. Relax. Grace will be fine.’
Mavis almost gave up, realising that Tommy had no idea what she was talking about. She’d held back for so long that he hadn’t picked up on her hints at all. Now she turned to walk, slipping her arm around his waist as he draped his around her shoulder. ‘She will, of course she will. I was just wondering … well, you know … whether we might …’ Her nerve failed her. She couldn’t just come straight out and say it. It sounded too cold and calculating, setting a date when they could finally be together, and she wanted it to be romantic, not scheduled in like an appointment at the dentist. She stroked his back, willing him to understand what she meant without her having to spell it out.
Suddenly Tommy came to a complete standstill. He turned to her once more and gazed into her eyes. ‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’
She gave a small nod, and he bent to kiss her, hard and passionately. She responded, arching up to him, holding him as tightly as she could, and to hell with whoever might be watching. ‘Yes,’ she managed to say after they finally stopped, breathless. ‘Oh Tommy. I want you so much, you know I do. I just thought with Alec and everything … but now it seems silly. I love you, I want to be with you.’
‘And I love you, Mavis, and I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.’ He was serious now. ‘I respect you too much for that. If you want to go on waiting until the future is clearer for us then that’s fine but if not … oh my God.’ He shook his head. ‘Let’s go back to my flat now …’
‘Tommy, we can’t, not tonight.’ Mavis smiled up at him, relieved that they were in agreement and he hadn’t been shocked at her suggestion. ‘Mum will be waiting for me to check on James.’ She paused. ‘But actually … well … maybe we could …’ Suddenly it seemed silly to wait for the holiday. She was ready, she didn’t want to put him off for any longer than she had to. ‘Tommy, shall I come to your flat tomorrow?’
‘Would you like to?’ He could hardly believe what he was hearing. ‘We could go to that little restaurant a couple of streets away, we could pretend we’re on a first date or something like that.’
‘First date? Now that is a shocking idea.’ Her eyes danced. ‘But I’m taking pity on you rattling round that flat, you see. I hate to think of you there, all lonely.’
‘So you’re doing me a good turn. Then it would be rude of me to refuse.’ He kissed her forehead and hugged her again. ‘I can’t wait. I’ve waited so long for you, Mavis, even one more night seems like too much. But I will wait. My God, you are the most beautiful woman in the world and I’m going to make you happier than you’ve ever been in your life.’
Pete stepped away from the outer door to the bank, pausing to rub his handkerchief over his forehead. He was sweating with anxiety. He glanced around, making sure there was nobody on the busy street who might recognise him. He didn’t want anyone to know he was in any kind of trouble as that would make his situation even worse than it already was. There was no getting away from it, he was now up to his neck in it.
The bank manager had been blunt. The mortgage loan repayments weren’t being made. Pete would have to pay extra to keep it going or risk losing the house. Pete had blustered, assuring the manager that the big contract would be signed any day now, but he himself no longer believed it. He’d heard nothing for weeks. He had tried telling himself for so long that it would come right, but now it was all threatening to come crashing down and he’d lose everything he held so dear. And that included the faith that his family had placed in him.
Now Pete gazed along the street, wondering where it had all gone wrong. The project had seemed ideal. Peckham needed modernising – lots of the old housing stock was in a terrible condition, the officials were saying, and Pete reckoned he should know because he’d lived in some of it. Also, there had been bomb damage here, just as in much of the city. The whole area was crying out for new developments and he had been proud to think he was going to make a difference to his beloved South London.
He always cautioned others not to put all their eggs in one basket, yet he had gone against his own advice and risked more than he would usually have done. Pete shuddered. They’d all been so happy moving into the new place, Mavis able to feel safe for the first time in years, the kids overjoyed to all be together, even Lily calming down a bit. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what they’d do if
he had to tell them they couldn’t stay in the house.
The good thing was that Lily had been so caught up in planning for the holiday that she hadn’t picked up on his mood. He’d expected her to turn on him over the past few weeks, demanding to know why he was so preoccupied, telling him to cheer up and not to be such a misery guts with a long face. Instead she’d been making lists with Mavis, checking with Jenny to decide who would bring what, and filling the kids’ heads with all sorts of expectations. Bobby had just gone three and was old enough to join in with some of it, asking for a bucket and spade and announcing that he was going to sail on a boat. Pete realised he was too young to know what that really meant but he’d been delighted that his son was coming out with long sentences and excited at trying something new. He was such a happy little boy, grown-up for his years thanks to mixing with Mavis’s children, and Pete’s heart nearly missed a beat at the idea of letting him down.
So he had better make sure that he didn’t.
‘Come in, come in.’ Mavis welcomed Rhona, who’d dropped by after her late shift had finished. ‘I haven’t seen you for ages. You look miles better.’ She led the way into the kitchen, where Rhona pulled out a chair and slumped down at the table.
‘Thanks. Not sure I feel it at the moment.’ Then she pulled a face. ‘No, that’s not true, ’cos I was still in a bit of a state when I saw you last. I’m back at work now and while I’m there I can’t think about anything other than keeping up. Then when I leave it hits me.’
Mavis was sympathetic as she turned on the kettle. ‘Have you eaten? I’ve got some stew left over from our tea if you like.’
Rhona was about to say no then realised she was hungry. ‘Do you know what, I’d love some. At least my appetite is back to normal now.’ She grinned. ‘As long as I’m not depriving you or anything.’
‘If I hadn’t wanted you to have it, I wouldn’t have offered,’ said Mavis, pleased to be able to do something for her friend. ‘It won’t take long to heat up. So how have you been?’
Rhona rested her hands on the tabletop and twisted them together. ‘Oh … you know. All right. Not so bad, could be worse.’ She paused. ‘You know when we went to the park and I said I’d give Gary a lovely surprise by turning up one evening? Well, I did it, but it was me who got the surprise and it wasn’t very lovely.’
‘How do you mean?’ asked Mavis, making tea for both of them. ‘Here, take the sugar, you need the energy.’
Rhona smiled wanly. ‘Yeah, you’re probably right. It all went wrong from the moment I got there.’ She began to describe the disastrous evening at the Talisman, stopping every now and again as the emotions hit her all over again. ‘I just didn’t see that one coming, not in a month of Sundays. I can’t believe he’d do that, or that Penny would either, and I can’t believe I’m still letting it get to me.’ She gave a quick sniff. ‘Stupid, isn’t it? He’s obviously an idiot and I’m better off without him, but still …’
‘He’d have to be a real fool, preferring her over you,’ said Mavis loyally, resisting the urge to say she’d wondered about him at the time. ‘Look, have some of this, it’ll make you feel better.’ She ladled the stew into a bowl, and cut a big slice of bread to go with it.
‘Smells lovely.’ Rhona wiped her eyes. ‘I can’t believe I was so stupid, dreaming of me being with him for ages, turning into Darby and Joan.’ She sighed. ‘It wasn’t only that, though, I really, really did like him a lot.’
‘I know, I could tell,’ said Mavis. ‘It’s not fair, Rhona. You deserve better.’
‘Do I, though?’ Rhona took a mouthful of the stew and shut her eyes. ‘That’s lovely, Mave, you’re such a good cook. But all of this has got me thinking.’
‘Oh?’ Mavis took a sip of her tea. Rhona seemed to have changed. She was quieter, more reflective, and seemed less desperate to have fun all the time. ‘Thinking about what?’
Rhona scraped the last of the stew from the bowl and then wiped it with the rest of the bread, making sure she got every drop. ‘Well, you know. What I was like before.’
Mavis cocked her head. ‘How do you mean?’
‘When I was dating blokes, I didn’t even begin to think of how they felt. I just wanted to have fun and assumed that’s all they wanted too. Most of them did, I’m pretty sure. But now and again one of them would get upset, or try to talk me out of finishing with them, or say that they wanted something more, and I just didn’t get it. I thought it was daft and I didn’t want to be tied down.’ She looked at the empty bowl for a moment, and then back up again. ‘So it serves me right, doesn’t it? I wanted fun, I had fun. Then I meet someone who also wanted fun and I go and expect more. I should have known better. Gary never said it would be anything else so why should I be surprised? Yet you could have knocked me over with a feather when I saw him in that club with Penny of all people.’
‘Some friend she turned out to be,’ said Mavis. ‘You expected better from both of them so no wonder this has knocked you for six, and if Gary can’t see what he’s missing then more fool him.’
‘You’re too nice, Mavis,’ Rhona replied, smiling through a fresh burst of tears. ‘You don’t go round treating people badly like I did, and in a way this is just punishment.’
‘You’re being too hard on yourself,’ Mavis reassured her.
‘No, I’m seeing myself from the outside for the first time. The way I behaved wasn’t right, and I let work mates down too – not the bosses, I don’t care a fig about them, but the likes of Jean. She had to work extra hard to cover for me when I went in still half asleep and hungover. That wasn’t fair on her, she didn’t deserve that, but she never let me down, unlike Penny.’ Rhona paused, to take a gulp of tea. ‘Then there’s you. Thanks for listening, Mavis. You’re a real friend all right. I can tell you anything and you never blame me.’
‘It’s what friends are for,’ said Mavis seriously. ‘Who knows, one day Penny might see what she’s done and come begging for forgiveness. She’s younger than you, isn’t she? Maybe she just needs to grow up.’
‘Maybe.’ Rhona sat up straighter. ‘Right, that’s enough about me. What about you? How did it go down the doctor’s? Are you ready for you know what?’
Mavis suddenly blushed and couldn’t stop a huge smile creeping across her face. ‘I’m more than ready. It all went fine and … and … we’ve done it already.’
‘No!’ Rhona squealed in surprise and delight. ‘You never did! You sly thing. How did it go – no, I don’t even have to ask, I can see it on your face. It was good, wasn’t it. He’s made you happy. Look at you, I can’t believe I didn’t see it straight away. Come on, Mavis, spill the beans. I want to know everything.’
Mavis gave her head a little shake. She wasn’t prepared to divulge the full details of that very special evening, even to Rhona. She’d never experienced anything like it. Tommy had taken her to the little Italian restaurant near his flat, where the owner had treated them to extra drinks and desserts as he knew Tommy well. She’d been too nervous to make the most of it, even when her glass had been topped up. She could tell he was on edge too, yet eager to get her back to the flat. In the end they had almost run there, like a pair of teenagers. Once inside he had taken her in his arms and kissed her as she’d never been kissed before, and she had responded in a way she hadn’t dreamed possible. They hadn’t even got as far as the bedroom but had fallen upon each other on the big couch, where she’d clutched at the cushions and moaned as Tommy showed her exactly what she’d been missing. All the nightmare encounters with Alec were banished from her mind as Tommy explored every inch of her with infinite care, love and mounting passion. To her amazement she’d done the same to him, with no thought of embarrassment. It had all felt completely natural and right. When eventually they finished she’d lain in his arms and purred with pleasure. They had snuggled up, both satiated, but then Tommy had begun to laugh.
‘What?’ she’d asked.
‘Nothing.’
‘No, what? You can
’t get away with saying “nothing”. What is it?’
Tommy had stroked her back and neck and then her face. ‘I was just thinking, it’s just as well we didn’t wait for Torquay. I don’t know what the B and B is like but I bet its soundproofing wouldn’t have been enough to stop half the place hearing all that.’
‘Tommy!’
‘It’s true. We’d have woken the kids, no doubt about it. Still, at least now we know. Next time we’ll have to practise being very, very quiet.’
‘Who says there’s going to be a next time?’ she’d giggled.
‘I do,’ he’d breathed. ‘And so do you, if I’m not much mistaken. Because I love you very, very much and I’m not afraid to show you.’
Mavis had no intention of repeating any of this to Rhona. It was all too new and felt deliciously private. But she had to give her friend some credit. ‘I’ll tell you one thing,’ she said now, leaning back in the kitchen chair. ‘I didn’t believe you when you told me how wonderful it can be, but now I know you’re right.’
‘I’m dead chuffed for you,’ Rhona said, smiling.
Mavis felt that her friend’s smile failed to hide her sadness and with a deep sigh she said, ‘I hope you find someone to truly love you, Rhona, I really do.’
‘I wouldn’t hold your breath,’ Rhona replied.
Mavis felt deeply for her friend. She wanted her to be happy, as happy as she was. She was already longing to see Tommy again.
Chapter Sixteen
Every so often Tommy forced himself to go back to his old childhood home to visit his mother. It should have been easy; it wasn’t far from the signwriting yard or Jenny and Stan’s house. If things had been different he could have popped round after work, or when there was a quiet moment during the day, or on his way to see his cousin. However, Olive Wilson wasn’t the sort of woman to welcome a son who’d been through a divorce, no matter how close he might be geographically. Tommy went to see her purely out of duty, not out of affection, because it was years since she had shown him any, and he kept his visits to a minimum, just to reassure himself that she was in reasonable health and wanted for nothing. That was about as much as he could bring himself to do.