Passions Wild And Free
Page 38
“No,” she responded calmly, firmly. “We stick together.”
Marsh dropped to his knees before her and shook her shoulders. “Listen to me, you stubborn woman. You aren’t safe with me no matter which identity I use! I thought those fake ‘wanted’ posters had been destroyed long ago, but they’re being reprinted and circulated again.”
“By Brody Wade,” Randee disclosed confidently.
“How do you know that?” he queried, settling his seat on the soles of his boots. He watched her as she lifted her head to answer him.
“I don’t know where Brody got a copy of that poster or how he got it circulated so fast, but I’m sure he’s behind it. What does it say?”
“Lies,” Marsh replied angrily. “It isn’t the same one which was printed years ago. It has my current description on it and a hefty reward of twenty thousand dollars. Just like that bounty hunter said, so maybe he was only working for himself. There’s no telling how many of those posters are around, or how many men will try to collect on my head. Get back to Fort Worth and Willard, where you’ll be safe.”
“Everyone knows we’ve been traveling together, so I’m probably considered your sidekick, or whatever it’s called. If you send me away or desert me, I’ll wind up in jail, or be tortured for information about you. Surely you realize how tempting that much money is? Some people, will do anything to earn it, including killing me. I don’t know why Brody would endanger me, if he truly loves and wants me. Unless,” she began hesitantly, “it’s true what your pursuers said about me supposedly being your hostage and I’m not to be harmed.”
“Where did you hear that? When? How?” he demanded. “Did you sneak into town tonight before you came here?”
Randee exhaled loudly and frowned before she admitted, “This probably means you won’t speak to me again for three more days, but I’ll tell you anyway, so we can grasp what’s happening.” She revealed what she had seen and done that night, then remarked peevishly, “If you don’t like my second intrusion, it’s too bad. I had to try to help you; that’s what partners are for. Shut up and let me finish,” she demanded when he started to speak. Then she related the remainder of what she’d overheard.
Randee clarified her thoughts and feelings. “I think these raids east of Fort Worth are cunning tricks to fool us and the law. I don’t think this unknown boss wants control of the entire area around Fort Worth. I think he only wants the area you’ve got marked on that map in your saddlebag.” Her troubled gaze met his alert one as she asserted, “I think Brody Wade is a member of the Epson Gang, at least some kind of spy for them. I think he’s responsible for that trouble with the bounty hunter, for those fake posters, for Flossie’s death, and for these new raids outside the target area. And it’s all because I revealed too much to him while I was in Wadesville. So you’re right. I don’t deserve to be your partner, or even your friend. Because of me, Flossie is dead, innocent ranchers are dead, and you could have been killed. I should have confessed my stupidity earlier, but I was angry with you for all your deceitful actions and secrets. And I …” She faltered and lowered her gaze to gather the strength to continue.
“I really thought Brody loved me and would keep my confidence. I should have known what a bastard he is; that’s why I can’t stand him and wouldn’t marry him if he were the only man available. He’s probably warned Timms, Bush, Light, his boss, and the gang by now. Because of these loose lips and a missing brain, by now, they all know what we’ve been doing, what we know, and what we plan to do.” After making certain she made a complete disclosure to Marsh about her visit with Brody, she asserted, “So you see, Mr. Logan, I’m to blame for you getting your masculine pride stomped the other night and for you getting chased tonight. It’s my guess you were planning to end our partnership this morning, so do it. But don’t expect me to run to Willard Mason for protection. I’m going to do exactly what I set out to do: defeat that gang, by starting with the traitorous Brody Wade.”
Before Marsh could respond, Randee told him exactly what she had been thinking and feeling Wednesday night about him and about their relationship. “Whether you ever accept it or not, Marsh Logan, you aren’t perfect and you can’t survive alone! And if the only things I’m good for are sating your desires and having fun, then we have no real friendship.” She raced onward almost breathlessly, “I’ve tried to follow my father’s advice, but you make it so damn hard. Isn’t there a time limit on how long a woman has to be the lone giver? You don’t have to share everything with me, but can’t you share at least a little bit of yourself, besides when things are good between us?”
When Marsh lowered his chin and exhaled loudly, Randee— misunderstanding his reaction— shoved him forcefully, causing him to fall to the bedroll on his back. “Damn you, you headstrong rogue! Don’t get huffy with me because I’m speaking the truth and you don’t want to hear it! It’s time for an understanding,’ Mr. Logan! I was willing to return home after our two jobs and begin work on my ranch, learn how to run it alone and how to defend myself and my property. I was perfectly willing to let you drift in and out of my life whenever the mood struck you—which I hoped was often, because I enjoy you and being with you. I was willing to accept any part of you, big or little, frequently or only occasionally. No demands or promises, just a reasonable understanding, a tiny compromise. But no, you don’t think that’s fair to me because you believe only you would be getting what you want and need. Well, Mr. Logan, that isn’t true at all. My needs would be fulfilled, probably better than yours. Contrary to what you have convinced yourself to believe, I wouldn’t be sacrificing a family, respect, or anything else. If you get out of life whatever makes you happy, why do you need more?”
She quickly answered her own question. “You don’t. Even without commitments, I’m happy with you, happier than I would be enslaved to some husband I don’t love and to some boring existence as his shadow. I give you what you need, Marsh, so why are you miserable? So damn stubborn? So friggin’ blind to the truth and your good fortune? I’m not your slave or prisoner, and you aren’t taking advantage of me. If I decided not to wait around for you to change or die, then I wouldn’t have to. I’m a free woman, so I can do as I please. That’s my choice, Marsh. Surely you know me by now. I’m not a weak or foolish woman, a silly girl, a clinging vine, a beggar or a trickster. I’ve reasoned this out, and I’ve taken plenty of time to avoid a mistake. It’s only a compromise. For how long, I don’t know. It’s so simple, Marsh. You want me and I want you. If we can be together only for short periods, isn’t that better thansharing nothing at all? Or refusing to ever see each other again because we know we can’t have anything permanent? Life’s too short to be miserable. Real happiness is hard to find in most lives, so we have to grab it whenever and wherever it’s available. Why is our situation so impossible for this keen mind to understand and accept?”
Randee moved to his side, as he had not shifted since she had pushed him down, and he seemed to be paying close attention to her words and expressions. “Can’t you understand my feelings and believe me, Marsh? I don’t want to marry a man just to have a husband and children, to fulfill my duty to society as a woman. And I can’t fall in love with someone else until I no longer want you, and I’ll keep wanting you until I’ve had my fill. How can I, if you stay away because you feel guilty or intimidated by this bond between us? You should feel guilty only if I mean nothing to you or you’re misleading me. Neither is true. You can’t help the way you feel; I accept that, Marsh. I won’t try to change you, but I will try to have you as much as I can.”
“Is it my turn to get a few words into this conversation?” he asked, rolling to his side and propping his jaw on his hand. He watched Randee present her profile to him, then rest her chin on her raised knees. “There isn’t much for me to say, because you’ve summed up my same suspicions. I was having doubts about Brody Wade, and now I’m convinced he’s involved with that gang. Obviously they’re paying him a lot of money to do their dirty wo
rk, money he wants to use to buy a ranch for his new wife: one, Miss Randee Hollis.”
Her head jerked around, causing her flaxen hair to tumble wildly about her shoulders. “I’m not responsible for his greed and evil. If you’ll recall, the raids were going on long before I escaped to Texas.”
Marsh sat up and took a cross-legged sitting position. His tone and look were serious as he replied, “I know, woman, and I wasn’t accusing you of provoking him into becoming a criminal. What we need to learn is when Brody joined them and what he does for them. At first light, we should head for Wadesville, not Fort Worth. We’ll abduct him and take him somewhere private and force him to confess. Don’t you see, partner, your slips were perfect strategy. They made him race off to see his boss and friends to reveal what you told him. That’s probably where he went that night, not to pick up a prisoner. Now that he’s unknowingly exposed his hand, we can use him to entrap the others. Another thing, woman, I understand why you mistrusted me, but I can’t help being. secretive about some things. There’s a lot you don’t know about me. I’m sorry, but I can’t be open and honest with you any time soon; it’s impossible for several good reasons. So, you see I have good cause to feel guilty about our relationship. I do mislead you by withholding things, even outright lie to you sometimes.”
Randee’s mind seized on his words “several good reasons.” She was surprised by his casual admission of his devious behavior. Yet, she sensed that he did—or believed he did—have a valid motive for dealing unfairly, dishonestly with her. If she didn’t give up on him … Randee met his steady gaze and said, “Keep your secrets, Marsh. I only want to know one thing for now: Is our personal relationship real? I mean, do you honestly care about me and accept this bond between us?”
Marsh wondered what was the best, not particularly the truest, thing to say. “I don’t want to fool you or allow you to fool yourself, Randee. Deep inside, you’ll always be hoping and believing I’ll appear one night at your ranch and decide to stay forever. I’m a gamble, woman, and the stakes are high. Can you really put your life in limbo because of a dream about conquering me one day?”
Randee smiled and challenged, “Is it only a dream, Marsh? Can you look at me and swear you aren’t tempted to settle down with me? Or swear there’s no way or time you’ll ever leave drifting behind?”
Without his awareness, Marsh’s expression .and mood seemingly implied what Randee wanted to hear. He could not tell her the truth about his love and need for her, because he .was worried about her refusal to leave him if the time came when it was crucial. He had to find a way to keep them alive until he could finish this mission and could finish changing, and could yield to her. “It can’t be, Randee, at least no time soon. And if one of us is slain, it can never be.”
Randee knew Marsh had lost his family and was possibly afraid of losing someone else he loved. He was so wary, so intimidated by strong emotions. For a loner, that wasn’t hard to understand. She teased, “I’ll wait around for a while, Marsh, because you’re worth it.”
“It isn’t fair to— “ he began to protest, but was cut off.
“Stop telling me what’s fair to me! Let me decide what I want and need.” She laughed merrily before jesting, “By the time we complete our two jobs, maybe your magical grip over me will vanish. Then you won’t have to worry about using me or getting rid of me.”
“I don’t know how you manage it, woman, but you’ve done it again. Every time I’m about to put your safety and survival above my selfish desires, you find a reason why I can’t leave you behind. With all our enemies on to us, the only place you can stay is with me.” Marsh pulled her into his arms and ventured bravely, “We’ll have an understanding, Miss Hollis; from now on, I won’t think about or say how unfair our relationship is to you. I’m going to accept your word that you’re getting enough from me to make it worth your while. I’m not going to make you any promises or denials, but I will admit you’re very special to me, and I’d like to keep you alive and with me.”
Randee hugged him and asked, “Was that so hard to admit?”
Marsh’s arms encircled her body and held her closely and snugly. “You’re darn right it was. Don’t forget, this is all new to me, Randee, having a woman with me all the time. Even if you aren’t verbally pressing me, I feel like you’re doing it in other ways, and that makes me terribly nervous. You’re a cunning vixen. You’re getting me hooked on you so I’ll be miserable when we’re apart. Why didn’t I see it before?” he teased. “You’re the one being.unfair to me.”
“I would be unfair and dishonest only if I played guileful games with you, Mr. Logan, which I don’t. I never offer you anything which isn’t yours to take, as much as you desire and for as long as you desire.” She hinted seductively, “Even if I were trying to hook you, I am feeding you lots of pretty worms to sate your hunger.”
“Sate my hunger? It’s more like whet my appetite.”
“I guess that means I’m not very appealing or satisfying.”
Marsh leaned back and looked down at her in bewilderment. “What does that mean?”
“Either you don’t get hungry very often, or I’m not very good at whetting your appetite, or very skilled at sating it.”
“You must be joshing me, woman. You have my tummy growling and my mouth drooling in hunger all the time. I could make love to you six times a day and still want you all the other hours.”
At that staggering and stimulating disclosure, Randee’s stunned gaze locked with Marsh’s amused one. She witnessed the flames of desire which were burning brightly in his eyes. She felt the heat of fiery passion rising in his body, and she snuggled closer. She wanted him so much that it startled her, mildly panicked her, almost took her breath and reason away.
Marsh hinted meaningfully, “I checked out this area carefully before I rode in. Nobody’s around for miles, and no one should be stirring for hours. Would you like to take unfair advantage of me?”
Randee laughed happily as she replied in a seductive tone, “Nothing would please me more, Mr. Logan, than to ravish you here and now.” She unbuttoned his shirt and parted it, then pressed her lips to the golden flesh and ebony hair on his compelling chest. As her mouth trailed sensuously over his torso, her trembling fingers eased the shirt from his body and cast it aside.
Randee removed her own vest and shirt, and nestled her naked flesh against his as her lips wandered up his neck and sought his mouth. She urged him backward to the bedroll and lay half atop his virile frame. As she kissed him feverishly, her breasts brushed provocatively over his hard chest.
Marsh’s quivering fingers fumbled with the buttons on her skirt, loosened them, and shoved the sturdy material downward to expose her soft—but firm—buttocks to his grasp. He gently kneaded the silky flesh before shifting her body so his mouth could capture the smoldering peaks of her brests, which were hot against his flesh. He groaned as his hunger reached a ravenous level and he feasted wildly on the delicious buds.
Randee felt her head spinning blissfully as Marsh labored lovingly on her body, swiftly increasing their desires. It felt wonderful to be in his arms and possession again. Hope, joy, and rapture filled her. She refused to think about the perils which they were facing; all she wanted to know and feel was this special moment, this unique love.
Soon, their bodies were free of all garments and their spirits were free of all inhibitions. Their secluded haven was quiet and romantic; it was seductive and dreamy. The moon shone down on their naked bodies, and the scent of wildflowers teased their nostrils. A cooling breeze wafted over them, but their heat increased despite it.
Marsh’s teeth nibbled at her earlobe before his lips roamed to her mouth and greedily fastened to it. His manhood slipped skillfully into her receptive body, and her response welcomed him to her paradise and encouraged him to visit a long time. For what seemed like hours, he tantalized and stimulated them with his movements and talents. The pleasure and hesitation were almost painfully ecstatic, forcing hi
m to use every ounce of his self-control. Suddenly Randee was clinging tightly to him and writhing wildly beneath him, and sending forth sounds which could only. mean she was ready to fall over the precipice of passion. Marsh cut the leash on his body and raced after her, swiftly catching her pace and location, and completing this blissful ride together.
Marsh did not cease kissing her and caressing her for a long time after the rapturous moment subsided into a peaceful afterglow of contentment. He held her tenderly in his embrace and closed his eyes, fully absorbing the uniqueness and strength of this moment and bond. He admitted to himself that Randee was right about him wanting and needing to settle down with her, was right about him being unable to stay away from her, even for a short time. Yes, he was hooked by her.
“Good-night, Marsh,” she murmured sleepily, nestling closer.
“Good-night, love,” he whispered against her silky hair. Marsh was content, yet worried. In his arms was the answer to his needs, but beyond them was a threat which could rip her from them. What a dilemma! She wasn’t safe with him or without him. Mercy, how he wished this moment could last forever, how he wished there was no such thing as the Epson Gang or his troubled past. How he wished he could ride home in the morning and introduce his love to his parents. He had already lost his family to that vicious gang, and if he wasn’t careful, he could lose his first and only love to their brutal evil.
Marsh glanced at the precious bundle beside him. A bittersweet smile claimed his lips. What a sly vixen you are, Randee Hollis. You kept chasing me until you convinced me I wanted to capture you. I do love you and want you, but I can’t let you die because of me. Somehow, I have to find a place where you’ll be safe until I can come back for you. Whatever I have to say or do to keep you alive, I’ll do it. …