Loving the Bastard

by Marteeka Karland

  “What the hell was that?” Max demanded as Zeta approached him, her hands nervously twisting together. “Did you know those kids?”

  “No, but I think they were part of a local gang who’s been harassing a few of the kids here.” She spoke quietly, her gaze darting around the room as if she expected more trouble. “These kids are here to get an education and keep out of the gangs. It’s easier here than in the bigger cities like Chicago or Los Angeles, but gangs are still a big problem in Louisville. It’s likely either this gang or a rival gang has been trying to recruit some of these boys. If so either side could want to send a message. Join and die or…”

  “Don’t join and die.” Max couldn’t help himself. He pulled Zeta into his arms and squeezed her to him hard. “Did you ever think they could have been after you for keeping out their new recruits?” When she jerked and looked up at him with wide, watery eyes, he could see she hadn’t. “Seriously?” He pushed her back to arm’s length, keeping a hold on her shoulders to give her a little shake. “You’re so smart but you have no common sense!” When her face nearly crumpled into tears, Max pulled her close again, this time lifting her into his arms and storming out the door of the Y. His chest ached abominably, and the thought that strong, independent Zeta might dissolve into fearful tears was the last straw. He was getting her home where she belonged. If she were lucky, he might let her back out into the world…at some point.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The ride back to Max’s estate had been excruciating and the longest ride of Zeta’s life. Once they’d gotten there, he’d dragged her back to her suite. He’d seemed to pause at the stairs leading to the third floor where Zeta knew his suite was situated, but with a harsh growl, he veered away and back to her rooms. Once there, he couldn’t get her to bed fast enough. Couldn’t get her undressed quickly enough.

  “Were you hurt?” he asked roughly. “Did anyone touch you?” Max sounded almost angry, as if this were somehow all her fault. Pressing her down on the mattress, he skimmed his hands over her body in a gentle caress that belied his harsh tone and gruff manner. To Zeta, it seemed as if he couldn’t help himself either way, his need to punish her for an imagined indiscretion warring with his need to be gentle with her.

  “No. I’m fine. Max…what’s wrong?”

  “You knew something like this could happen yet you continued to go to that place anyway?” He sat back on his heels, raking his hands through his dark hair in agitation. “Have you lost your goddamned mind?”

  “Someone has to care about these kids, Max,” she said hastily, knowing things were likely to turn violently erotic rather quickly if the look in his eyes was any indication.

  “No one said it had to be you,” he snarled, then took her mouth in a fierce kiss that set her blood on fire. How Max could manage to turn her mind and body to goo was beyond her. All he had to do was look at her with that possessive dominance and she entered into a fantasy world where she belonged to him and loved every second of it. Unfortunately, the reality was all too different.

  Max would rule her. He’d wrap her up so tightly in pleasure and passion that she would forget who she was. Even now, Zeta longed to give Max what he needed. She wanted to promise never to put herself in harm’s way again but knew she’d do anything to help her kids. She wanted to think she had Max caring for her. Those kids had nobody for the most part. If they did, it simply wasn’t enough for all they had to deal with. She needed to be that buffer for the children, but knew Max simply didn’t see it as her problem. If he was going to be the man she needed him to be, he had to see beyond his own little world.

  Pushing at Max, Zeta tried to put some space between them, but he only brushed his lips down the sensitive column of her throat to graze the swell of her breast. “Max, stop,” she breathed, but her fingers seemed to tunnel through his hair to hold him to her.

  “I don’t think you want me to stop,” he countered, knowing her too well. The bastard knew how he affected her and used it shamelessly to his advantage. “I think you never want me to stop.”

  “Max!” He traced an excruciating path to her nipple until he took the stiff peak into his mouth and nipped sharply with his teeth. Zeta was helpless to do anything other than scream, forgetting all the reasons why this wasn’t in her best interest. When he made love to her, all Zeta wanted was to belong to Max.

  “Give yourself to me, Zeta,” he whispered weakly. “Belong to me. Only to me.”

  “You know I can’t…”

  Max silenced her with another scorching kiss, covering her naked body with his fully clothed one. “You will,” he growled, his voice still barely above a whisper, but the change in him when she tried to deny him was unmistakable.

  His hands seemed to be everywhere; not an inch of her body was left untouched. It was as if he needed to see for himself that she’d been unharmed, which was perfectly all right with Zeta. Except this was the Max she could easily fall in love with—the gruff but tender Max. Maximilian the bastard was more the reality no matter how much she wished it were otherwise.

  Just when she thought she couldn’t stand anymore, Max hastily unbuttoned his jeans, shrugging them down his hips just enough to free his cock. Without preamble, he shoved inside her, filling her, stretching deliciously. That fast, Zeta’s world narrowed to the man loving her so expertly with her body. The reasons why ceased to matter. All that she could process was the pleasure he gave her. And, God help her, she wasn’t going to survive it.

  * * *

  Something inside Max…broke. Or maybe things just finally clicked into place. Gone were the self-discipline and determination to keep his heart out of this relationship. When he’d realized just how much danger Zeta had been in, he’d been pissed as hell, but the ramifications hadn’t really sunk in until the adrenaline had left his system. Everything built until the moment he surged inside her body. That was when it had fully hit him he could have lost her. Not only did it bother him, Max found himself near panic. That hadn’t happened since he was a boy. If then.

  Even now, while he was deep inside her body, surging hotly into her silken heat, Max felt dismay at the prospect of a life without her in it. Never had he needed another person with him the way he was beginning to need Zeta. Staying away from her hadn’t helped; it had only made him realize how empty he was without her presence. She’d caught his attention when she’d slapped him in his office, then wormed her way into his heart with her gentle song. Everything else had combined to draw him more fully under her spell until he was so completely ensnared he wasn’t certain he wanted out.

  All that creamy chocolate skin beckoned him like a moth to a flame. Resisting the temptation to taste wasn’t even an option at this point. Lowering his head to her chest, Max took one nipple between his lips. His arms seemed to wind around her slim body of their own accord and before he knew it, Max had her wrapped up in…him. Zeta’s soft body felt so right cocooned in his arms. Max certainly felt more secure in the knowledge she couldn’t get away from him. All he could do was continue to touch and kiss her, rocking against her sex with his jeans-clad thigh.

  Then it wasn’t enough.

  With growing impatience, Max pulled his shirt over his head in one swift. Getting his jeans completely off simply wasn’t going to happen so he shoved them down his hips to free his shaft. If he didn’t get inside her soon, Max knew he’d go mad. With one swift move, he shoved himself inside her, parting silken folds to fill her completely. The relief was immediate and tremendous but soon fed the hunger inside him once again to possess her completely. The skin-to-skin contact settled him somewhat, but it still wasn’t enough. Max needed Zeta to surrender to him, to know she would forever belong to him.

  Shifting his position over her slightly, Max pulled one of her legs over his shoulder, surging deep. Zeta cried out sharply, arching her back and digging her nails into his shoulders. Music…such beautiful music…

  “You’re mine, Zeta,” he whispered next to her ear as he continued to thru
st into her. “Always. Now and forever.”

  “Max!” Her voice was the sweetest plea, one last protest before she gave in to him, and Max was alpha enough to recognize it. It was now or never. He had to tie her to him or risk losing her.

  “Say it, Zeta! Say it now!”

  “I…Max, please!”

  He went deep, holding himself still as deep as he could get inside her. “You’re. Mine,” he snarled. “Only mine, Zeta. You belong to me. Say it. Now!”

  “I can’t, Max,” she whimpered, her resolve cracking. He could see it in her face.

  Reaching between them, he found her clit and pressed, rubbing insistently, purposely driving her over the edge into madness. “Say! It!”

  “Yes!” she finally screamed. “Yours, Max! Yours! Yours!”

  With a satisfied roar, Max emptied himself inside her as Zeta milked him for everything he had. She’d surrendered herself, just like he wanted. The only problem was, he’d surrendered himself to her as well. God help him when she realized it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The smell of warm, well-satisfied man surrounding Zeta was a pleasant way to wake up. Sleep, when it came, had been interrupted pleasantly several times by Max’s intense lovemaking. He’d seemed to need it as much as she did. Now, he lay sprawled across her, his thigh lazily slung over one of hers. His face lay between her breasts where he lazily lapped at one nipple in his sleep. Lord knew he’d done it enough while he was awake. She had the urge to smile at that but an ache deep in her chest prevented it. Max always got what he wanted. If that meant he managed her with sex, Zeta had no doubt he’d do just that.

  Taking a slow breath, Zeta eased out from under him. If she woke Max and he made love to her again, there was no way she’d survive with her heart intact. She’d be out like a light, not to wake up until she’d had a good eight hours. To say nothing of the pounding her heart would take when she woke only to realize nothing had changed between them. Hell, she was already in for a beating as it was. Her plan to force him to get to know her had backfired in a major way. In the process she’d gotten to know him, and what she found wasn’t altogether bad. There were things about Max she had grown rather fond of over the last few weeks. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. He was still a bastard. Making her fall in love with him was the last straw.

  Quietly, she slipped from the bedroom and dressed. She had to get out of there, away from all this. Max’s life wasn’t for her any more than the man was.

  “And what might you be up to?”

  Zeta closed her eyes. Max. Taking a deep breath, she turned around to face him. “I’m leaving,” she said simply. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the full six months, but I just can’t do this anymore.”

  He stood before her nude, not even bothering to sling on a pair of pants. His chiseled body was an aphrodisiac in itself, to say nothing of what he could do with that powerful, beautiful body. “You know I can’t let you go.” There was no inflection in his voice, no expression on his face. Did the man feel nothing at all? “I’ll pull the plug on your father’s finances if you don’t honor at least that six-month agreement.”

  Zeta hadn’t realized it until Max threatened to cut off her father, but she was done allowing her father to control her, especially in this. It was because of her father that she was in this situation to begin with. “I can’t help that. I guess he’ll just have to find an alternative. If not, I’ll be happy to help him rebuild.”

  “I suppose it’s all for the best,” he commented, leaning one hip against the couch as he crossed his arms over that brawny chest. It was hard for Zeta to pay attention to what he was saying. The smattering of hair across his pecs trailing down his rigid belly to the nest of curls surrounding his cock made her fingers itch to rake her nails over all those muscles. “I’ve been giving this a bit more thought, and I think you were right in your assessment that first day. Marrying a black woman in this part of the country might not be to my best advantage.” The corner of his lips quirked upward in a condescending sneer. “But I’d be happy to keep you as my mistress. Lord knows the sex is better than anything I’ve ever had.”

  And just like that, any hope Zeta might have had he’d convince her to stay, that he’d give her something to cling to of the Maximilian she knew hid cleverly inside the persona of a bastard, evaporated like so much smoke on the wind.

  * * *

  Max saw the exact moment Zeta snapped. He had no idea why he’d said what he had. Hell, he hadn’t even meant it. Well, all except the “best sex he’d ever had” bit. He was just getting back at her for trying to leave him. Why he’d lashed out in that particular manner he had no idea, but the second the words left his mouth he regretted them. The next second Zeta had taken in a sharp breath before stepping into him and delivering a hard slap across his face.

  He held her gaze, refusing to look away, needing to hold some kind of connection with her. “I suppose I deserved that,” he said quietly.

  “Bastard!” she snapped, tears gathering in her eyes. “You can go straight to hell.”

  “Zeta… I —”

  “Shut up!” She lunged for him again, her palm ready to deliver yet another blow. This time, he caught her wrist, pulling her against him. “Let me go! You don’t get to touch me ever again!”

  “I’m sorry,” he said as calmly as he could, not letting her go, afraid that once he did she would be forever out of his reach. “What I said was uncalled for.”

  “Let me go, Max.” Her voice was calm, but tears still shimmered in her eyes. Somehow she kept them from falling when he knew he’d hurt her horribly.

  For several moments, Max thought about forcing the issue, regretting his hasty words more and more with each passing second, the pain in his chest building until he was certain his heart would burst. But holding her captive wouldn’t help him. Knowing it was time to retreat, he released her. Immediately, Zeta backed away, looking at him with contempt and wariness.

  “I’ll send for my things,” she finally said. “Do whatever you have to with Dad. Just leave me alone.” Gathering up her purse and keys, Zeta walked quickly from the room with her head held high.

  Right out of his life.

  Chapter Twenty

  “I’m not going, Dad.” Zeta once again found herself doing her father’s bidding. This time, it was a fundraiser, not for her father’s company, but for a community women’s shelter. The one adjacent to the Y where she taught the children. That reason alone was why Zeta knew she’d give in. Owen wanted her to go to present a strong front for his company. He hadn’t said anything about her ending the arrangement between her and Max weeks ago, but Zeta figured Owen was hoping to present the fiction his company was doing fine. He was likely too preoccupied with this event to question her about it. Zeta honestly had no clue how the company was doing because she hadn’t resumed her duties at her father’s business since she’d left Max. She just didn’t have the heart to see just how badly her decision had hurt her father.

  “Of course you’re going,” Owen said without hesitation. “This is right up your alley. Besides, if I hadn’t suggested you go, you’d already be planning ways to bring in more money to the event.” It didn’t help Zeta’s humor that her father was right.

  “Fine. But I’m not there to represent Lawless Real Estate.”

  Owen scowled, but turned his back to hide it. Zeta would mention her father’s business if she had to, but she would go to actually raise money for the shelter, not her father. “That’s fine, dear,” he finally said, though he didn’t turn around. “Just have a good time. You’ve seemed a bit…strained the past few days.”

  “How perceptive of you to notice,” she snapped. “Being sold to the highest bidder tends to do that to me every time.”

  Owen actually grinned, if a bit sheepishly. Rubbing the back of his neck, he extended a hand to her as if he expected her to just take it, to accept him back into her life as their relationship had been before. “Now, Zeta. You know I had to do everyt
hing I could to protect your future. This company is your future.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong, Dad.” Zeta waited until he dropped his hand before continuing. “My future is supposed to be with a husband who loves me and children we create together with love. A company can’t give me the kind of fulfillment.”

  “No one said you couldn’t have all that with Maximilian.”

  “No one had to. It’s a given.”

  “You don’t know that until you try.” How could he stand there and sound so reasonable when what he was suggesting was anything but reasonable?

  Instead of arguing with him, Zeta simply turned her back on her father. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” She took a breath and squared her shoulders but didn’t turn around to face him. “I’m going to the event. But I’m not representing Lawless Real Estate. If you don’t like it, you can damned well go yourself.”

  Zeta was amazed at how little it bothered her to go against her father. It wasn’t that she wanted to; it was just that she knew that giving in to him would start the chain of events all over again. Going back to Max simply wasn’t an option for her. Not now. Not ever.

  It was a black tie event. Normally, she had a little black dress she wore to these things. However, given the traitorous mood she was in, Zeta was definitely not wearing black. Tonight, she needed to feel like a desirable woman. Tired of moping around after such an emotional rollercoaster, Zeta looked through her closet until she found the perfect dress to make a woman feel beautiful.

  * * *

  The last few weeks without Zeta had been a special kind of hell for Max. At first he’d tried to ignore the nagging loneliness by throwing himself into his work, but he’d been too distracted to accomplish much. He’d never felt lonely in his life! Now, he was swamped with missing Zeta like he’d miss his right arm. He sometimes found himself just standing in the middle of her room trying to inhale the remaining scent of wildflowers and jasmine she’d left behind just so he could feel close to her.