Darkness Of Light (Darkness #1)

by Stacey Marie Brown

  “My stepdad, Mark, was offered a job. It was a great opportunity for him, and I wasn’t going to be the reason he didn’t take it. I couldn’t stand in his way.” I left out the fact we moved here partly because of me accidentally blowing up my old school.

  “So what about your mom, how does she feel about the move?”

  I looked down in my lap. “She wanted this for him.”

  He seemed to sense not to pursue it further, and he turned back to questions about Mark. “You and your stepdad are close, then.” It was more of a statement than a question.

  “Yes, we are. He’s amazing and the only dad I’ve ever known. I was seven when my mom married Mark. From the moment she introduced us, Mark and I clicked, becoming instant family.”

  “And your real father?” he asked hesitatingly. “Sorry, forget that. I didn’t mean to pry,” he quickly added. From the way he was looking at me, I must have had a “don’t go there” expression on my face.

  “No, it’s fine. I mean, there’s really not much to say. I’ve never met him. He’s never wanted anything to do with me, and he ran off as soon as he heard my mom was pregnant. All I know is he’s now living in New York somewhere, with a wife and kids.” I didn’t elaborate and he didn’t ask anything more. I couldn’t believe how much I was telling him anyway.

  I was disappointed when Eli pulled up to the site. I was enjoying the fact we could talk without the claws coming out. I wasn’t ready for it to end.

  “So, what about you?” I asked as we climbed out of the Bronco. “What’s your story?”

  “No story.” Eli shrugged as he headed up towards the ropes course.

  “Wow, I have to say you are an incredible story teller, Eli. That was so detailed and descriptive, I felt like I was right there with you. I know you so much better now.”

  He stopped suddenly, and I almost ran into him. “Let’s just stick to the job.”

  “Oh, what, it’s okay for you to ask me personal questions, but I can’t ask you?”

  “I asked—you chose to answer. It was your decision, you didn’t have to,” he said dryly. “I choose not to answer yours.”

  An aggravated scream built up inside me. Holy shit, this guy could cause me to become violent. Embarrassment, anger, and hurt cut through me. “You’re a jerk, you know that?”

  “So I’ve been told.”

  His retorts only riled me up more. He started up the hill again, but I stayed put. Murder was extremely high on my “things I was most likely to do next” list. But I didn’t really want to add the infinite amount of hours to my community service for homicide.

  Eli sensed I was not following and turned around. “What?” I continued to stare at him. I could tell he was getting just as aggravated with me as I was with him. He breathed in deeply, calming himself. “What’s the problem?”

  “I don’t think this is going to work.” I motioned between us.

  A mischievous grin spread over his face. “Do we already need to seek counseling?”

  I didn’t respond, just turned around and started down the hill. I had had enough of Eli’s ping-pong moods to last a lifetime.

  “Brycin, stop!”

  When I didn’t, I heard him let out a low, irritated growl. I could hear him moving behind me. Like lightning, I felt the warmth of his fingers skim the back of my arm. “Stop,” he grumbled into my ear.

  I stopped. The feel of his breath against my neck made me close my eyes in ecstasy. Come on Ember, get a grip.

  I turned and looked at him, which was a mistake. His tall, amazingly built form made me lose my breath and feel hot all over. Suddenly finding my shoes fascinating, I tried to gather my strength. I wanted to stay mad but I kept imagining myself throwing him down on the ground and devouring him. Oh jeez, I’d never hear the end of it if I did come back with foliage burn on my back. Damn you, Ryan, for putting those thoughts in my brain!

  His voice brought me back to reality. “You know I’m an ass, so did you really expect anything less from me?”

  “No, you’re right. I wouldn’t want you to be anything less than the true asshole you are.”

  He smirked, his eyes glowing bright. They seemed iridescent at times. “All right, so back to work?”

  “Yeah.” I sighed, resigned. “Let’s go.” We walked in silence for a little bit, but like a dog with a bone, I just couldn’t let him get away free and clear. “So, are you ever going to choose to answer my questions?”

  “You just don’t give up do you?”

  “No. Haven’t you realized that yet?”

  “It’s starting to become apparent.” He let out a sigh. “So what exactly do you want to know?”

  Everything, I felt like saying. “Okay, I’ll start simple—family. I know you have a brother.”

  “Was there an actual question in there?”

  “Okay fine, do you have any other brothers and sisters? Mother and Father? Step-parents?”

  “That’s not a simple question.”

  “Yes it is. It’s pretty cut and dry, nothing too tricky there. No, I don’t have any other siblings, or yes, I do have other siblings—seems pretty simple to me.”

  “Then no, and yes,” he said.

  I stared at him, his murder being planned in my mind. If there had been a brick wall at this site, I would have been banging his head or possibly mine against it—repeatedly.

  He sighed. “Lorcan’s the only family I have left who is blood, but I have people whom I consider my family.”

  So, Eli didn’t have biological parents around either. Something I could relate to.

  “Let’s get to work.” He made it clear this was as much information as I was going to get. Eli unlocked the storage unit, pulling out the containers of harnesses and ropes, and we started to unpack the bins. I wasn’t ready to give up learning more about him, even if I had to pull teeth.

  “So, the night I first saw you, you were handcuffed to a chair. What did you do?” We had never talked about that night. I felt myself become nervous, even though I had no idea why.

  He looked at me over his shoulder. “Let’s just say my track record is pretty consistent.”

  “Is being a team leader at Silverwood a punishment?”

  “One of many. Sheriff Weiss asked Mrs. Sanchez to find something for me to do. Keep me out of trouble.”

  “So I’m gonna take that as you have to be here as well.” I was trying to get him to admit the real reason he was here—the fact that he saved me from being dragged downtown on a bogus alcohol charge.

  “Take what you want from it.”

  If I deck him, how many more community hours would I get? No matter—it would be worth it.

  It was just so odd. I couldn’t get over all the coincidences that kept putting Eli and me in the same situation together. From the first night I saw him at the police station, he had somehow become intertwined in my daily life.

  “You do something to piss off Sheriff Weiss?” Eli asked nonchalantly.

  “Besides breathing?” I asked sardonically. “Well, I had an interesting situation happen to me this past week. Sheriff Weiss pulled me over for speeding and was just about to take me in on alleged drug or alcohol intoxication, he didn’t care which one, when out of the blue this guy pulls up on a black Harley-Davidson, flips off the sheriff and tears out of there. The sheriff felt the need to go after him more than stay and deal with me.”

  “Sounds like you were lucky.”

  “I was,” I said dryly. It was pointless to hope for a confession. Never in a million years would he admit he had helped me. He did, I knew it without a doubt, but he would never confess it. “But, Weiss always finds a way. That jerk is seriously out to get me.” I shook my head. “I think his personal mission in life is to make mine a living hell. I can’t wait ‘til I can get out of this town.”

  “Yeah, me too.” His eyes darted over to mine then back down.

  “Wow, did we just agree on something?” A surprised laugh came up from my throat.

&
nbsp; “We should declare it a national holiday.”

  “I agree. Okay, we’ve just agreed twice. Cue the Twilight Zone music please.”

  “I would cue it, if I knew what that was.”

  “You don’t know the Twilight Zone?” He stared at me with a blank expression. “Seriously, how have you never seen or heard of the Twilight Zone? It’s a cult classic TV show. How can you not know about it?”

  “I don’t watch much TV.”

  “Yeah, but you still would have heard of it. It’s embedded in American culture. The theme song in itself is iconic.” I hummed the first couple bars of the tune. I was making a fool of myself, but I couldn’t seem to stop.

  Eli tilted his head, a seductive smile breaking out across his face. “Well, I guess I’ll have to watch it then.”

  “Yeah, you could come over. Mark has the original on DVD.” The words were out before I understood what I had just implied. “I mean, I’ll give it to you so you can watch it . . . I-I mean if you want. You don’t have to.”

  The grin on Eli’s face became even more melt-worthy as I babbled, which only made me more frazzled. His eyes moved over my body. When they locked on mine, they were so intense and raw. I felt the air leave my lungs. I couldn’t handle it. Turning away so he wouldn’t see me blush, I busied myself to break the charged moment. I absently reached for one of the lead lines hooked to a tree. Missing it, I stumbled back, colliding into Eli’s chest. His arms instinctively went around me and kept me from falling. His body pressed up against my back. Through the layers of clothes, the lines of my tattoo ignited, drawing in the heat from his body. My skin buzzed and twitched like I’d had too many espresso shots. Every nerve in my body went on high alert as extreme emotions ping-ponged around inside me.

  He shuttered violently behind me and roughly pushed me away. With his body no longer next to mine, I felt strangely empty, the feelings and sensations vanishing. I was paralyzed, unable to move or breathe.

  What the hell was that?

  Pinpricks of ice trickled down my body. I turned around stiffly, my eyes locking on Eli’s. Eli’s wide, green eyes reflected the same panic and the same questioning fear that were in mine. I knew he had experienced something as well. He briskly checked himself and erected his stonewall exterior again, his eyes becoming glinting slits of anger. They accused and blamed me, immediately putting me on the defense.

  “What?” I sputtered, breaking the silence. My eyes narrowed. He continued to stare at me, searching for something. “What?” My arms flapped, exasperated.

  His mouth opened as if he were about to say something, but then snapped shut. Rubbing his hand over his face and then up through his hair, he shook his head, as if to clear his thoughts. Suddenly he turned sharply and headed towards the woods. Shock, confusion, and fear left me standing there, bewildered. My brain was so befuddled I couldn’t even make a decision on what to do. Anger sparked through me. How dare he just walk away like that?

  My anger was covering up what I really felt and feared; but before I realized it, I was storming after him anyway. I pushed away any thoughts that told me to stop. Finally, I spotted him through the trees, standing with his back to me.

  “What do you want?” he snapped, without turning around.

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “But something strange is going on. I know you experienced something back there as well—whatever it was.”

  He turned his head, looking at me as if I were crazy.

  “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You know something happened . . . between us.”

  His body went rigid, and he swung around violently to face me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. But I can tell you one thing. Nothing happened or ever will happen between us.”

  His tone told me the idea of being with me was the most insulting, disgusting thing that could ever happen to him. I stepped back hurt, chagrin flooding into my face.

  “Th-th-that’s not what I meant,” I sputtered.

  “Listen, whatever fantasy you have going on in that silly, little head of yours—isn’t. So do yourself a favor and get far away from me. Leave this area if you have to.”

  It felt like someone had just slapped me. I took a step back. Rarely did I cry. My heart had hardened too much after my mother’s murder. I wasn’t prepared when my eyes filled with tears. I bit down on my lip. He would not see me cry. But I must have not been fast enough because instantly his eyes were searching mine.

  Something flashed through his expression, but I couldn’t make it out. He regained his composure and walked away from me, grumbling.

  I didn’t understand. Why did he hate me? It didn’t make any sense. Every time I was around him I wanted to laugh or cry, or maybe crawl into a hole.

  I leaned against a tree, which helped center me. Sucking in a rugged breath, I collected my thoughts. I didn’t understand Eli’s vast mood swings, or what had just happened between us. He made himself perfectly clear on how he felt about me and whatever was going on, so I was going to take his advice. I was going to stay far away from him, and when we had to work together, it would be work and work only. The end of this day couldn’t come soon enough.

  The throng of Level 2 teens kept us busy with little time to interact, which was a good thing. When we did speak, we stuck to business, and I tried to keep my distance as much as I could. It felt like I was swimming upstream the entire time but I was determined to end the attraction I felt for Eli.

  When the day finally came to an end without an incident, I was relieved. I let out a breath as I watched the group get on the bus and drive away, no longer our responsibility.

  ***

  Mark picked me up that evening, wanting to take me to dinner and spend time together before he left for Tokyo. He had an important ten-day conference there and was taking off Friday morning.

  We went to one of Mark’s favorite restaurants. It was a lively Mexican restaurant that served margaritas in glasses the size of fish bowls. He really enjoyed them, and we had a good dinner, laughing and joking together. Mark was always able to lighten my mood and help me forget about the world.

  Once outside the restaurant, Mark threw me the truck keys. “Here you go kiddo, guess you’re old enough to drive me home.”

  “Technically I have been for two years now. Remember, I’m an adult—as much as you try to deny the fact.”

  “I have to deny it. The truth of you being an adult is just too frightening for me to even comprehend,” Mark jested.

  I smiled, climbing into the driver’s seat. Putting the keys into the ignition, I froze. Green eyes stared at me from across the street. Under a street light, Lorcan stood there, a smirk hitching up his lip.

  “Ember? Are you okay?” Mark asked. My attention was fastened on Lorcan. “Ember?”

  “What?” I asked, my eyes never leaving Lorcan’s.

  “He will lead her to you. You are no longer safe.” Mark’s voice now sounded completely unlike him.

  My head shot over to look at Mark. Where he had been sitting, Torin now sat, his unnerving, blue eyes examining me. The shock of seeing Torin sent me reeling back, my head cracking against the driver’s seat window.

  “Run,” Torin’s voice said inside my head.

  “Ember? What’s wrong?” Torin reached out for me, but the hand that touched me belonged to Mark. He looked at me with concern.

  “W-Wh-What are yo-you doing here?”

  “What do you mean, what am I doing here?” Torin’s voice was wary. It didn’t sound like Torin, but it wasn’t Mark’s voice either. It was like a mix of the two.

  I squeezed my eyes shut. My hands were balled so tight that I could feel my nails breaking the skin of my palms. When I opened my eyes, Mark sat there again, peering at me with apprehension.

  I had wanted to keep what was happening to me from him, but how could I do that now? He was watching his daughter’s mind slowly crumble in front of him.

  “What is going on with you? What just h
appened?” he demanded.

  “Nothing,” I mumbled. “I-I just . . .” What could I say? There really was nothing I could say that would explain what had just happened, except that I was certifiably nuts.

  “They are happening again aren’t they—the hallucinations?” Distress was etched on his face. “I can’t watch you go through this again, Em. I won’t do it.”

  “I told you, I’m just dealing with a lot lately.”

  “Cut the crap, Em.” His tone turned even more serious. “I really had hoped the therapy at Silverwood was going to help. I wanted so bad to believe the hallucinations hadn’t returned and you were better. The school therapy is obviously not enough.” He shook his head, looking angry with himself. “I also know your night terrors are back as well. You may think you’re hiding them from me, but you’re not.”

  My stomach dropped. I had convinced myself that I’d been good at concealing them from Mark for the past five years. But since my birthday in October, the night terrors had become a lot more aggressive and frequent.

  “Remember our pact when I let you stop going to the therapist and taking your meds a few years ago? We agreed if anything like this started again, you would go back on them.” He looked up at me. “I don’t want you to go through all that pain again.”

  “The therapy is helping, I swear. Just give it more time. I promise I’m getting better,” I whispered.

  Mark sighed. “I will give you until I come back from Tokyo. If the school therapy isn’t enough and you aren’t getting better, I will be talking to Mrs. Sanchez and your counselors to get their input on which medications would be best for you and then discussing what steps we need to take next, okay?”

  I nodded. There was nothing else I could do. How could I tell him these unexplainable things were actually happening to me? He already thought I was unstable. Causing Mark any kind of pain made me sick to my stomach.

  Starting the car, I looked back at the space where Lorcan had been. It was empty.

  Seventeen

  The icy raindrops lashed out at my face, making me tighten my hood as I headed to the bus stop for school on Monday. Mark had watched my every move that morning, waiting to see if I would start licking windows or talking to the refrigerator. I had barely slept, my brain going over yesterday’s events—the way my tattoo had burned when Eli had touched me; our fight, and him warning me to stay away from him; Lorcan watching me outside the restaurant, and seeing my father turn into Torin right in front of me.