Darkness Of Light (Darkness #1)

by Stacey Marie Brown

  Her fist came towards me at a speed my eyes could not grasp. A bone-crunching sound echoed off the walls. My head jerked and twisted and rich blackness seized me.

  Thirty

  When my lids fluttered open, I blinked a few times to adjust to the dim lighting. Pain and stiffness locked my muscles against the cold, stone floor. I turned my head slowly. Blood throbbed through my swollen face.

  Man, I was done with getting my ass kicked. I mentally assessed the rest of my body. My calves were stiff and sore, but not hurting too badly. My mouth felt as if it had been stuffed with cotton. I was so dehydrated, my tongue stuck like glue to the sandpapery dry patches in my mouth.

  I looked around. Leaking stone walls surrounded me except for one wall, which was made up of metal bars. A jail. I knew I was in a cave or deep underground, as I could smell the dank, musty smell of dirt. It was cold and the only light came from a single, hanging bulb on the other side of the bars. A cool drop of water slipped off the rock ceiling and splashed onto my forehead.

  Where the hell was I? And how did I become a prisoner in a dungeon? My brain spun with a million questions and panic rolled in like a tsunami. My eyes darted frantically around for any clues as to where I was, who kidnapped me, how, why. None of these questions were answered. All there was around me was stone, impermeable packed-dirt floor, and bars.

  I reached for the bars to pull myself up. As my fingers wrapped around the bar closest to me, pain shot through my arms, down through my core, reaching the tips of my toes. My insides felt like they were getting pulled out of my body. Something was sucking my energy away, draining me. With a cry, I managed to pull free and fell back to the ground.

  What the hell was that? I lay there breathing in huge gulps of air. I felt exhausted and limp.

  “Iron—it’s fairy kryptonite,” a male voice came out of the darkness.

  I made myself sit up and scoot across the floor, pressing my back against the wall. A tall, shadowy figure moved slightly towards me. Squinting, I tried to make out the form. Familiar green eyes locked on mine, but these eyes didn’t hold any of the feeling I had felt from the other pair. These were empty and cold—Lorcan.

  “Pure iron drains you of your powers. It’s my insurance, in case you get a little unruly.” Lorcan looked me up and down in a predatory fashion. There was something off about him, something that made me recoil further into the wall.

  “It doesn’t affect you?”

  “No, but then Dark Dwellers don’t have many weaknesses. It only affects the pure fays like that. Every fae race has their weakness. Iron is one of yours.”

  Another ah-ha moment struck me. My “iron allergy” now made perfect sense. Why I got tired and weak when I touched it or was around it too long. All those years, my body had been trying to tell me what I really was.

  In the dim light, Lorcan looked like Eli. I had to look away from him as the effect overwhelmed me.

  “You look so sad. So pitiful. Quite tragic really,” he mocked. “Wishing I was Eli?” He leaned against the bars, shaking his head. “You think Eli will come save you? What if I told you he’s the reason you’re here? He was the one who told us who and what you are. I guess he’s not the nice guy you thought he was.”

  “I never thought he was a nice guy.”

  Lorcan laughed. “You’re not as stupid as I thought, but that makes you even more foolish. He never cared about you. He was using you, getting closer so he could learn more about you. Whatever extra perks he could get from you were just for kicks. He may not be happy with how I handled this, kidnapping you from him. He’ll be pissed for a second or two, but then he’ll see my way is better, quicker.” He gave me a look to show me how pathetic he thought I was. “But don’t think for a minute Eli wasn’t going to use you for the same thing. He was going to make a deal with the Unseelie King for you. The outcome would have been no different.”

  I swallowed. I would not show emotion. I would not give him the pleasure of seeing me react. I could no longer pretend what I had learned earlier from Eli, Cole, and Owen was just another strange dream. Everything between us had been a lie.

  It seemed my whole life had been built on lies. Eli feigning interest in me was just icing on the cake. Was it all an act? Memories of how he’d looked at me before we kissed and how his lips had felt against mine caused my eyes to brim with tears. I commanded them to recede, my anger blanketing the heartache and pain.

  There was another truth I had to deal with. Something my gut had understood the moment I’d seen Lorcan. “You’re the one who attacked me.”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. I didn’t expect you to move so fast. I got a little carried away.” Lorcan shrugged.

  “A little carried away? You turned my legs into beef jerky!”

  “And look at you now, better than ever. You heal faster than I thought possible.”

  I briefly shut my eyes. Telling him about Eli’s blood donation would be a bad idea. Knowledge was power, and he didn’t need to have the upper hand.

  “Why do you want me?”

  He crossed his arms. “Because of what you are, Ember.”

  I looked at him, my eyebrows furrowed as I took in what he said. “Because I’m fay?”

  “Is that what Eli told you? If that was only the truth.” Lorcan sighed as he shook his head. “Eli lied to you. He obviously wanted to keep you unaware about what you truly are. I can only imagine it was for his benefit to keep you ignorant, but I think you have the right to know.”

  “Aren’t you a sweetheart?” I glared at him. “So what am I?”

  “You, Ember, are a dae.”

  “A what?”

  “It’s true you are fay, but only partially. You are also half demon.” He cocked his head as he spoke, waiting my reaction.

  I stared at him, my brain not excepting his words. “What are you talking about?”

  “You have both pure fay and demon blood in those veins. Your very existence is an abomination and outlawed in our world.” Lorcan’s matter-of-fact tone made everything inside me turn upside down. “Don’t you just love it when you find not only your whole life has been a lie and you don’t belong to this world, but then you find out you don’t even belong in the Otherworld either?”

  I shook my head, unwilling to accept his words. “I don’t believe you. You’re lying.”

  “Why would I lie to you? Unlike Eli, I have no motivation to keep the truth from you. I promise you, I’m not lying.”

  Did Eli and the others know this? If so, why would they keep it from me?

  My mind reeled with confusion and conflicting emotions. “I-I still don’t understand why you want me. What are you planning on doing with me?”

  “To me you are a transaction, merely merchandise. Incredibly useful merchandise I will say,” he uttered in such a way that it make me stir uncomfortably. “But to others, you are a weapon, with unlimited powers.”

  “A weapon? Unlimited powers?” I was aware I may have certain “gifts,” but to be used as a weapon? I certainly wasn’t that powerful. Was I?

  Lorcan, thinking I wasn’t getting his meaning, continued. “Come on Ember, I know you’re brighter than that.” He looked at me with a patronizing expression. “Lights and electrical equipment that explode when you get upset? Flames that erupt uncontrollably around you? A young boy stopped midair from falling to his death? Strength no human could possess? A body catapulted through a windshield using just the powers of your mind? Any of this sounding familiar?” He smirked. “And just think—you haven’t even begun to tap into your true powers yet. You are still powerful enough to start a war though.”

  “A war? Why in the hell would I help you start a war?”

  “I didn’t say you would be helping me or that you’d be willing.” Lorcan paced, running his fingers across the bars, seeming to enjoy this far too much. “The war is what someone else wants you for. The reason I want you is because you are the key for my group to get back into the Otherworld. You should count yourself
lucky you are being kept alive right now. Daes were never allowed to exist. Breeding between fay and demons is outlawed, though it hasn’t seemed to stop the demons from trying, even when the fay is unwilling.”

  “Y-You mean they rape them?”

  “You catch on quickly,” he nodded. “The reason it’s outlawed is because the offspring are too powerful. They are not able to contain their power, which results in destroying everyone and everything in their path, and eventually themselves.” Lorcan looked me straight in the eyes. “In the past, if a dae was discovered, Seelie soldiers would hunt it down and make sure it was gutted and burned.”

  “So you are trading me to someone who wants to use me as a weapon, so you and your gang can get back into the Otherworld. Do I have this right so far?”

  Lorcan nodded, his eyebrow cocked.

  “Why can’t you go back? What did you do?”

  “Well, let’s just say there was a slight ‘misunderstanding’ that got us exiled from the Otherworld, by the Queen.”

  “Misunderstanding?”

  “That’s not information with which you need to concern yourself.”

  “Of course not,” I replied. It felt like cement blocks were being piled on me, one by one. All I could do was remain composed as a throbbing headache pounded against my temples from the overload of information. I’m sure the attack, the poison in my bloodstream, the lack of food and water all contributed. Over-exhaustion didn’t help either.

  “This is far too important for us. We have been waiting almost two decades for this opportunity. I could no longer trust Eli to stay impartial,” Lorcan stated. “He will eventually understand you are a small price to pay in the scheme of things.”

  I turned my face to him my eyes burning with tears that wanted to be shed, but I would not allow it. He would not see me cry or beg. “You are a monster.”

  “Yes, I suppose I really am, but that is not your meaning, is it?” He shook his head. “You can put whatever label you want on me, but I’m doing this for my family. You cannot deny you wouldn’t put your family first if you had to.”

  “You’re willing to trade someone’s life just to get back to the Otherworld. I would never do that.”

  “Don’t ever say what you would or wouldn’t do. You have no idea what you are capable of, given the circumstances.” A knowing smile curled his lips. “Don’t be a righteous fool. It might come back to haunt you one day.” His voice turned so hard and cold, I inched closer to the wall. I never wanted to find out the circumstances it would take for me to be like him. “I’ll send someone in with some food and water for you.” Lorcan turned and walked out. His footsteps receded down the hallway, echoing off the wall of the small chamber.

  A shudder went through my body. The only world I had ever known had been completely ripped away from me. I finally allowed a few tears to fall silently down my cheeks as my heart and my life fractured into a million pieces.

  I drifted off into a light sleep, my cheek resting on the gritty wall. I woke to the sound of quick footsteps clicking on the concrete floor. As they gradually grew closer, I drew my knees up to my chest defensively. A slim figure dressed in dark pants and t-shirt glided into the room, holding a plate of food and bottled water. Her red hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail, looking just as beautiful and angelic as I remembered.

  “Samantha,” I said, shaking my head. “Of course, I should have seen this one coming.” It all made sense now, her random odd comments about “my kind” and her disgust of me, and the times I’d thought I’d seen her turn into a monster. Though, I sensed the real reason she hated me had more to do with Eli than what I was.

  “No one ever said daes were very smart,” she said snidely.

  “Yeah, but I bet it smarted a bit when this dae had the extreme pleasure of kicking your ass.” I smiled so sweetly that I could feel sugar oozing from my pores.

  “Shut up, bitch,” she flared, but quickly caught herself. A twisted smile formed on her lips. “Oh gosh, all this yelling has made me so thirsty.” She opened the bottled water, took a huge swig, and poured the rest onto the floor. “Oops!”

  I watched the water puddle on the floor as my parched throat ached for relief.

  “Oh, did you want this?” Her eyes were wide with false innocence as she returned the same sickly-sweet smile.

  I bit my lip and held back any snide comment wanting to tumble out of my mouth.

  “That’s a good girl.” Her voice was so condescending it took everything I had not to jump at the bars. “You can be taught.” She screwed on the cap and threw what was left of the water at me. I grabbed it, draining it dry. It only wet my mouth and didn’t take away the aching thirst.

  “Sam, knock it off.” A deep, distinct, raspy twang came from behind Samantha, and a large, muscular form sauntered up to my cage. I knew instantly whom the voice and body belonged to.

  “Oh my God.” I put my head in my hands in disbelief. It was just another piece of this crazy puzzle that fell into place. I couldn’t see the whole picture or how big and intricate it was, but piece by piece it was forming.

  “You called, darlin’?”

  I picked up my head from my hands and looked into West’s glinting, soft brown eyes. I couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped me as I watched him lean against the bars with that cocky grin of his, looking the same as when I saw him at Mike’s Bar.

  “Again, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I should have known you’d be a part of this, too.” How many others had infiltrated my life in some way or another without me knowing? My life was becoming farcical. Was there any part of it that was true or real?

  He winked at me. “Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself, darlin’. You’re playin’ with the big boys, and let me tell you, you can hold your own. You were more than impressive and, I’ll admit, quite easy on the eye.”

  “Ugh, disgusting.” Sam motioned as if she was going to vomit. “Did all you guys get completely hexed by her or something?”

  “Ah, Sam, green doesn’t suit you.”

  “You think I’m jealous of THAT?” She pointed at me, her tiny little nose wrinkling up in disgust. West looked at her with a lopsided grin on his face.

  “Téigh trasna ort féin,” Sam barked at him, throwing the plate of food she had brought against the wall, and stormed out. Sauce and bits of some kind of meat slithered down the wall to the floor with a plopping sound. I sensed whatever it was she said wasn’t complimentary, yet it made West smile even more.

  “Sorry about that, I’ll get you another plate.” He motioned to the food now in indefinable clumps on the floor. “Eli’s always been a sore spot for Sam. She can’t handle he’s only thought of her as a sister, and a pain-in-the-ass-psycho one at that.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean? I thought . . . they were never together?”

  West burst out laughing. “Eli and Sam? Not a chance. He wouldn’t touch her. That one comes with a straight-jacket and a restraining order.”

  “No.” I shook my head, refuting. “He left because . . . I saw them together . . .” My brain swam with every conflicting memory or image I had of Eli and Sam. I had always felt horrible because I had been that girl willing to let something happen with a guy who had a so-called girlfriend. It was hard to readjust everything I thought hadn’t been true. It never even entered my mind that there wasn’t something going on between them, but now in hindsight, I could see all the little clues that seemed to validate what West claimed. Eli was always pulling away from her advances, treating her coolly. Eli had said their relationship was nothing more than what it was. I always assumed that meant they were casual lovers, but nothing more serious. Was what I interpreted as a lover’s quarrel nothing more than Eli trying to deflect her relentless pursuits? Sam was always the one who reached out to him. I don’t remember ever seeing him initiating any touch. I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

  “Eli is a complicated man, darlin’, and, unfortunately, you are just a pawn in all this.”
<
br />   It felt like a knife was twisting in my gut. Yes, truth could definitely hurt. “Yeah, so I’m gathering.”

  “He’s second in command. His duties come first,” West said.

  “Duties? Is that what you called it, or did it have some fun name like ‘Operation Seduce’ or ‘Operation Lie, Lure, and Betray’ or ‘Operation Being a Typical Man’?” I retorted.

  West sighed and leaned against the bars. “I’m really sorry for it, darlin’. The night we met I was doin’ a little undercover work. Eli wasn’t letting us get anywhere near you, and Lorcan decided to see why, so he sent me. You were more than I imagined. I liked you. You really surprised me, and believe me when I say I didn’t have to pretend with you. I do wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

  “Go away,” I uttered, my voice low and tight. They talked about my life so nonchalantly. I suppose it was better than Sam who was giddy with joy about my demise.

  “I’ll get you some more food and water,” he uttered, looking back at me once more before leaving.

  Thirty-one

  I leaned my head against the wall, taking in a deep breath. I hadn’t had any time to really contemplate or try to understand everything I had learned over the last day. It was so overwhelming and unbelievable; it was hard for my brain to wrap around it all.

  Fay.

  Demon.

  How was I supposed to deal with that? I had so many questions, especially for my parents. Questions for a mother who was dead and for a father who had run out on us before I was born. Perfect.

  It made me sick to think I was a product of a rape. But my mother kept and loved me anyway. I longed to hear my mother’s voice, to feel her arms wrapped around me, reassuring me everything was going to be okay. But the only thing surrounding me now was the dank, damp, musty air and the thin, cotton fabric of Eli’s old t-shirt. I could still smell him on it, and I detested that it still comforted me.

  I thought about Mark, wondering if he knew about me or if Mom had left him in the dark, too. Of course, if he had known about me, then he wouldn’t have been so concerned about my sanity. He would have known I was different and not in the mental facility way.