Sean Rosen Is Not for Sale

by Jeff Baron

  “Do they live where you used to live?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, you’ll see them again.”

  “I guess. Are you ready to come down?” We were still balancing on the seesaw.

  “Yeah.”

  “What kind of landing do you want?”

  “These cushions look okay.”

  “So I can just jump off?”

  “Yeah. Go ahead.”

  I came down fast, but it didn’t hurt at all.

  Chapter 22

  There’s been so much going on that I haven’t had time to work on my screenplay. I think I should. I’m going to Florida soon to visit Thorny. I want to have my questions ready for her about the character of Grandma in the movie. The other reason I have to work on the screenplay is that it looks like there actually might be a bidding war for A Week with Your Grandparents. When one of the studios wins, I want them to be able to start making the movie right away.

  It’s Sunday morning, and my mom’s at church. She goes on Christmas, Easter, and sometimes on Sunday when she’s not working. Once in a while I go with her, but today I knew I wanted to work on the movie. My dad is asleep. He likes to sleep late on Sundays.

  I took my laptop and the printed-out screenplay so far and got comfortable in my favorite spot on the couch in our Biscuit-colored family room. If we had a dog, he’d be there sitting with me while I work.

  Okay, so here’s where we are in the story. Chris and Chloe’s parents go on a second honeymoon, and they make the kids stay with their grandparents. The kids find out that Grandpa is an inventor. They both try his virtual reality time machine, which lets you spend time with anyone, on any day in their past. You just need some of their DNA, which you can get from their spit or their hair.

  Chloe meets Grandpa when he was seventeen and discovers that he was a cool, nice kid. Chris meets Grandma when she was his age, fifteen. She isn’t exactly nice to him, but he thinks she’s very, very interesting.

  This time they’re going to switch grandparents. Chris is going to visit Grandpa’s past. That’s the scene I’m writing today.

  GRANDPA’S WORK ROOM

  Grandma and Chloe are out shopping, and Chris and Grandpa are in the basement, where he keeps the virtual reality time machine. It’s late in the morning, but you can’t really tell since there aren’t any windows. There’s a lot of stuff in the room: wires, tools, metal parts of things, but each thing is in a certain place, and it looks like Grandpa can find whatever he needs very easily.

  CHRIS: Did you always like science?

  GRANDPA: I did. How about you?

  CHRIS: It’s sort of interesting, but . . . I don’t really get how most of it works. Science makes me feel stupid sometimes.

  GRANDPA: That’s not stupid. That’s just the way it is, even for scientists. There’s so much in the world that’s almost impossible to understand. We all just guess, and most of our guesses are wrong. You can work on something for years, but there’s usually something you forget. Oh. I forgot to tell Grandma to get oatmeal.

  Chris pulls out his phone.

  CUT TO: A close-up of Chris’s fingers texting Chloe:

  GRANDPA NEEDS OATMEAL.

  He sends it, and a few seconds later Chloe texts back:

  K

  GRANDPA: Like that. Whoever figured out how to do that was really smart, but I guarantee you, they made a lot of mistakes along the way. Okay, Mr. Chris. Where in my past are we sending you?

  CHRIS: I don’t know. (thinks about it) How old were you when you met Grandma?

  GRANDPA: Let’s see . . . I was . . . twenty-five.

  CHRIS: Was Grandma back then . . . you know . . . like she is now?

  GRANDPA: Yes. Grandma has always been Grandma, and will always be Grandma. Well, you just met her when she was fifteen. What was she like?

  CHRIS: Just like Grandma. I want to meet you before you met her.

  GRANDPA: Why?

  CHRIS: I don’t know . . . I only know you two together, and you’re always . . . I don’t know . . . the quiet one. That’s why we never knew you were an inventor.

  GRANDPA: Well . . . that plus the fact that you never asked me anything.

  CHRIS: That’s true. I’m sorry.

  GRANDPA: Tokyo!

  CHRIS: What?

  GRANDPA: When I was in the Army in Korea, I went to Tokyo on leave. It was definitely not quiet.

  CHRIS: Let’s go there!

  GRANDPA: Okay. But remember, it won’t be you and me going on an adventure together. You’ll be there with me, but I won’t know who you are.

  CHRIS: Right. Because you’ll only be . . . how old?

  GRANDPA: Twenty.

  CHRIS: And you won’t have a grandson yet. Will I know who you are?

  GRANDPA: Good question. (thinks) I think so. But let me get you a picture just to be sure. I might even have one from the night I’m thinking of.

  CHRIS: What night?

  GRANDPA: New Year’s Eve, 1952.

  CHRIS: Yes! We’re par-ty-ing in Tok-y-o!

  CUT TO: An old photo of three smiling twenty-year-old guys wearing U.S. Army uniforms. The camera zooms out and now we see that Chris is holding the photo as he sits inside the virtual reality time machine, a metal box that covers him from his head down to his waist. When Grandpa talks to Chris inside the machine, he does it by pushing buttons on the side that say TALK and LISTEN.

  GRANDPA: Remember, you won’t have that picture with you in Tokyo. It’s virtual reality. It feels completely real, but it all happens in your mind. And even though I’ll be here in the basement with you, I won’t know what you’re experiencing in Tokyo.

  CHRIS: Okay. How did you ever come up with this, Grandpa?

  GRANDPA: I’ll tell you some time when you’re not sitting in a metal box. So Chris . . . there’s gonna be a lot of American soldiers there, and some of them . . . well . . . it’s New Year’s Eve. And they’re very, very happy to be away from the war. So just make sure you stick with me.

  CHRIS: I promise. Oh, and please, Grandpa . . . let me stay there a little while. Grandma hits the stop button way too soon.

  GRANDPA: Okay, boss.

  Grandpa sets the dial on the machine to December 31, 1952. He spits on a glass slide and puts it into a slot in the machine.

  GRANDPA: Ready?

  CHRIS: Happy New Year!

  Grandpa smiles, then hits the start button. One by one the green lights come on. SIGHT. SOUNDS. SMELL. TASTE. TOUCH. Then the little bell rings. Chris is in virtual reality.

  CUT TO: TOKYO 1952. It’s nighttime in a very crowded street in Tokyo. This is the Ginza, a famous shopping and tourist area. The street is filled with Japanese people, American soldiers, bicycles, and little cars. There are lots of stores and some bars and restaurants. Some of the Japanese people are dressed in kimonos and other Japanese clothes, and some are dressed in shirts and pants and dresses. The American soldiers are wearing uniforms. Chris, dressed the same as he was in the last scene, is excited and a little scared as he looks around the crowd. He hears a voice from behind him.

  SOLDIER: (to Chris) Hey kid!

  Chris turns around.

  SOLDIER: (to his friends) He speaks English. (to Chris) Are you lost?

  Chris is a little nervous, but he comes over. Chris stares at the soldier, but he doesn’t look like Grandpa at twenty.

  SOLDIER: Are you English, Australian, or American?

  CHRIS: American.

  SOLDIER: Us too!

  Two other American soldiers walk up, carrying bags from a store. Chris sees that they’re the other guys in the picture, including Grandpa when he was twenty. Chris is relieved to see him.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: (points to his uniform) I think he knows we’re American. What brings you to Tokyo?

  CHRIS: Oh. I don’t know. Just visiting.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: How do you like it here?

  CHRIS: Actually, I just got here.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: Today?

  CHRIS: Yeah. Just no
w.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: Where are your parents?

  CHRIS: Oh. Ummm . . . the hotel.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: Do they know you’re out and about?

  CHRIS: Yeah. They’re . . . you know . . . tired.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: I know. Long flight. So you haven’t seen Tokyo at all?

  CHRIS: Nope.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: Do you like amusement parks?

  CHRIS: Love.

  FIRST SOLDIER: Not again.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: Yes. We have to. (to Chris) What’s your name?

  CHRIS: Chris.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: We won’t stay long, because we have to meet our buddies before midnight, but you have to see Hanayashiki. Follow me.

  CHRIS: Cool!

  Young Grandpa starts walking, followed by Chris and the other two soldiers. The street gets more and more crowded. Chris bumps into a Japanese man.

  JAPANESE MAN: (angry) (Japanese for “Be careful.”)

  CHRIS: I don’t know what you just said, but I’m really, really, really sorry.

  JAPANESE MAN:

  (Japanese for “I’m just trying to go home.”)

  Chris looks around and doesn’t see Young Grandpa. There are so many American soldiers in uniforms. We see the crowd on the street the way Chris sees it as he slowly looks from left to right. Wait. There’s Young Grandpa! Chris waves, but Young Grandpa doesn’t see him. Chris tries to move through the crowd as quickly as he can, but it’s hard to do.

  KA-PLOW!!!

  There’s an explosion in the street near Chris. Some people scream and try to move out of the way. Then we see some American soldiers laughing.

  LAUGHING SOLDIER: Sorry, everyone. Just a firecracker. My idiot friend.

  Chris, who got scared, just stands there.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: Chris!

  Chris turns. Young Grandpa and two other soldiers are up ahead to the right.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: (points, then really loud, so Chris can hear) THIS way. We’re taking the TRAIN. (He points to a platform where people are waiting.) FOLLOW ME.

  Grandpa was so loud that a lot of people stopped to listen. That made it possible for Chris to get through the crowd and catch up to Grandpa and his two soldier friends. The four of them walk to the train platform.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: (to Chris) Crazy night, right?

  CHRIS: Slightly.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: (looks down the track) Okay, here comes the train. Just follow us. If we get separated, get off at Akasaka. We’ll meet on the platform there.

  There are hundreds of people waiting. As the train pulls in, everyone moves forward. The doors open and a lot of people come out, but the train still looks full.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: (to Chris) Just push your way in. Everyone here does it. It’s okay.

  The crowd begins pushing into the train. Now Grandpa and his friends are inside the train. Chris just stands there.

  YOUNG GRANDPA: (from inside the train) Chris! Come on! Just push!

  Chris can’t do it. The doors start to close.

  CHRIS: GRANDPA!!!!

  The doors are closed. As the train leaves, we see Young Grandpa through the train window. He heard Chris, but he’s confused. Who’s Grandpa?

  Chris is standing on the train platform with about a hundred other people who didn’t get on the train. They’re all Japanese.

  Chris doesn’t know what to do. Should he wait for the next train? What was the name of the amusement park? What was the name of the train stop? He can’t remember. Will he ever find Grandpa?

  Then Chris gets an idea. His phone has GPS, and he can Google the name of the amusement park. He pulls it out of his pocket. The people standing around him stare. They’ve never seen a cell phone. It’s 1952. Which means there are no cell towers and no satellites. The phone doesn’t work.

  CHRIS: (to a Japanese lady) Do you speak English?

  She just looks at him. She doesn’t know what he said.

  CHRIS: (to a Japanese man) Speak English? Amusement park?

  Chris tries to show a roller coaster with his hands, but the man doesn’t understand. Chris looks around for American soldiers. Now there aren’t any.

  CHRIS: (yells really loud) Grandpa!

  The people in the crowd all stare at him. Chris is actually trying to tell Grandpa at home in the basement to get him out of the time machine, but no one knows that.

  CHRIS: (yells again) Grandpa!

  There’s an explosion. Chris jumps. Everyone scatters. Someone threw a firecracker. People start laughing, but not Chris. He’s very upset. He doesn’t know what to do.

  Suddenly he hears a voice.

  VOICE: Chris?

  He looks around the train platform. He doesn’t know who’s talking to him.

  VOICE: Chris? Have you had enough?

  It’s Grandpa. Chris remembers he’s in the time machine.

  CHRIS: Yes! Yes! Enough! Hit the red button!

  CUT TO: GRANDPA’S WORKROOM. Chris is inside the time machine. Grandpa hits the red button. The machine powers down. Grandpa opens the machine and Chris gets out. He looks really, really scared.

  GRANDPA: Chris. What happened?

  CHRIS: I . . . I got . . .

  He can’t talk. Just then, Grandma and Chloe come down the stairs into the workroom. Grandma sees Chris, who still looks terrified. She holds out her arms, and Chris runs over to her. She hugs him for a long time. It takes Chris a minute to start breathing again. . . .

  “Hey Seany!”

  It took me a few seconds to realize my dad was talking to me. I was like Chris. The movie felt so real to me, I forgot I was in my family room.

  “Banana pancakes?”

  “Definitely.”

  I was actually glad my dad came in. I was almost as scared as Chris. I’m glad to be back in reality too.

  What happens next in the movie is that Grandma yells at Grandpa, because she always told him he should put a panic button in the time machine. He never wanted to because he thought it would spoil your virtual reality experience. And that’s the reason she never lets anyone stay in the machine too long.

  Grandma doesn’t want anyone to use the time machine again, but Chloe talks her into it. After a day goes by, Chris is ready to go to the past again. But only places where he speaks the language.

  The banana pancakes were amazing. It was like dessert for breakfast. Thanks, Dad.

  Chapter 23

  To: Dan Welch Management

  From: Stefanie V. President

  Hi Dan,

  I didn’t hear back from you, and I shouldn’t admit this to someone I negotiate with, but the silence was making me crazy. You start imagining things. “Does Dan think I’m just mad at Ashley because she left?”

  Of course I am. Anyone would be, but I hope you don’t think that’s the only reason I don’t think Sean should work with her. She has little to no status in this town, and she just lost her only important connection—me.

  Ashley needs Sean Rosen more than Sean Rosen needs her.

  But why are we even talking about her? Dan, I want to do the movie. I’ve always wanted to do the movie. You know that.

  I promise, promise, promise to make it a movie Sean will love. I will personally guarantee that Sean will have a significant consultation with the screenwriter.

  I can double our last offer, except for the net profits. I can give Sean 1.5 net profit points instead of 1.

  Let’s just do this. You know me. Sean knows me. Let’s keep it in the family.

  xo,

  S

  The doorbell rang. I wanted to think about this email, but for some reason, when the doorbell rings, I just jump up and answer it. It started when I was little, and answering the door is still my job.

  It’s a good thing I did, because it’s Mrs. Dahlin and Baxter. Baxter started barking the second he saw me.

  I went outside. I wanted to invite them in, but we weren’t expecting an excited dog today, and I bet Baxter can break a lot of things really fast, especially in a place he’s never
been before.

  “Baxter!” That’s me saying hi to him. It’s a little hard to describe how I sound when I say his name. On my dog podcast, I have a lot of different people saying hello to their dogs. I sound a little like some of those people, but I don’t call him Bax-y Wax-y or say his name in that high “I’m talking to an animal” voice. It’s more like how you say hi to a friend you’re excited to see, when the friend is a dog.

  “Hi, Mrs. Dahlin.”

  “Sean, I came over to ask you a gigantic favor.”

  “You want me to bring you and Mr. Dahlin a dozen donuts every day for the next four years.”

  “That would be gigantic, and we would be too. No. What I meant was, do you think you could possibly keep an eye on Baxter for a couple of days next week?”

  “Yes! Wait. When?”

  “Next Tuesday and Wednesday.”

  “Yes! I’ll be back by then.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “To see my grandmother in Florida.”

  “Nice.”

  “I hope. Anyway, yes. Definitely. What do I have to do?”

  “Just feed him. Give him water. Take him out three times a day.”

  “During school?” Please. Please.

  “Nah. Once in the morning, once when you get home, and once at night should do it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Good. I’ll call your parents to make sure it’s all right with them.”

  “Don’t worry. It will be. They like me to have responsibilities.”

  “I’m still gonna call them. When do you get back from Florida?”

  “Sunday night.”

  “Okay. Monday after school, just come by and I’ll show you everything and give you a key. Is fifty dollars okay?”

  For about five seconds I thought she meant I would have to pay them fifty dollars to be able to do all that stuff with Baxter. I was going to say yes. But no, she’ll be paying me.

  “Baxter . . . we’re gonna have so much fun. Are you psyched? Are you psyched? I am!”