by Gold, Bella
Oh God, did that mean with me? Was he referring to more dates? Or was I reading too much into it just because I wanted him to feel that way?
“Yeah, right, okay,” I nodded slowly, my mind whirring, trying not to think about the endless possibilities that lay ahead of us. “Okay, well I’ll stay with you. We can get this fixed; don’t worry about it.”
He seemed to perk up at the idea of not suffering alone and he became much more animated and eager. I started to see the problem-solving businessman that had gotten him to where he was today. I smiled happily as I listened to him, I nodded along as he came up with plans, and I felt like as a team, we could do it.
***
“Okay, so if you call the big wigs now, I’ll get this printed off.” The office was slowly emptying, everyone was done for the day, but Mason and I were still going strong. I felt amped up by working with him, happy with every corner that we turned, pleased with each small achievement.
This might not have been the best day for the business, but I felt like it was great for Mason and me to get reconnected. Sure, I still had no idea what was going on with us, but at least I could be around him, and no one was suspicious. Unfortunately, I hadn’t managed to escape for a lunch break with Carly and the girls, so I hadn’t had the chance to see if she’d broken her vow of secrecy or not, but there would be plenty of time for that.
“Great, thank you,” he shot me a look of sheer gratitude. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
As I walked into the other room, a happy glow encased my heart. I loved the respect from Mason almost as much as I enjoyed the desire from the other night. It made me feel special and important; it made me feel like I’d really proven myself and that finally I was making a name for me. I had achieved something for only myself, and that was awesome.
Okay, maybe a lot of my drive came from wanting to be noticed. Growing up around successful, loud men made me cry out for attention, and finally I felt like I was getting it. In every single way, I was becoming the person I’d always wanted to be.
I practically skipped back into Mason’s office, excited to see him again, but my heart fell into my shoes the second I laid my eyes upon him. He was on the phone, running his fingers through his hair, his face ashen and stressed. Clearly, his phone call with the ‘big wigs’ hadn’t gone well, and I wasn’t sure what to do about that. We’d gotten so far, it was gutting to lose out now.
“He is? Oh God, I’m so sorry.” His voice was actually shaking; the more I looked at him, the clearer it seemed that this wasn’t work related after all. I backed out slowly, needing to escape, but before I got the chance to, he slammed the phone down and swore loudly. “Fuck! Fucking hell!” He spun around to face me, knowing I was there however much I was doing my best to blend into the background. “Oh God, sorry, that was...”
Shit, was that a tear forming in the corner of his eye? Instinctively, I moved closer to him, needing to make him feel better. “Is everything all right? Can I do anything for you?” I wanted to hold him, to take all his problems away, but I had no idea what he needed. This wasn’t about me: it was all about him.
“That was...” he was choking on his words, emotion balling up in his throat. “That was the hospital. My dad, he’s dead.”
“Bob?” I slapped my hands across my mouth, shock rendering me silent. Had this guy not been through enough? “Oh my God, what happened?” I hadn’t heard about him being sick, and he wasn’t too old, so it had to be some sort of accident – car, maybe? God, whatever it was, it was terrible! No one deserved that...
“No,” he shook his head and looked up to meet my eyes. “No, not Bob. My real dad.”
His real dad... does this mean...?
Chapter Eight
“Your... real dad?” I stammered, unsure what I should reveal. I knew more than I should have, and I didn’t want him to think that I’d been talking behind his back. “I erm... I didn’t...”
“Ethan never told you? He didn’t let you know that I was adopted?” I half shrugged, not wanting to blow anything. Ethan was more than likely never supposed to tell anyone that, and I didn’t want to betray anyone. “Well, I found out a while back. Right before Monica broke up with me.” Shit, as he started to open up to me, it all felt a little too much, it was all happening too quickly. I didn’t know what to do with any of the information he was giving me. “My mom and dad adopted me when I was a baby because my real parents couldn’t look after me. They were far too hopped up on drugs to care, really.”
“That’s awful,” finally I reached out to rub his back, giving him the comfort he so desperately needed. “I can’t even imagine how hard that was to find out.”
“Yeah, well, by the time I’d adjusted to the news and started looking, I was too late to find my mom. She’d already overdosed and died. That hit me hard; I can’t even begin to explain to you what that did to me.”
I nodded slowly, wishing I could think of the right words to say. “I... I’m sorry.”
“Well, I did find my dad, and to be honest, that was worse. He was in this awful crack den, covered in needle tracks, his face all drawn and weary. It made me feel sick, and even worse, there was nothing I could do. I tried, a little, but he was too far gone. So, I left.”
Oh God, he was blaming himself; I could see it written all over his face. “None of this is your fault,” I told him, holding him closer to me. “There was nothing you could have ever done. If having a baby wasn’t enough to pull your mom and dad off drugs, then nothing ever would be. You can’t blame yourself because things weren’t great when you found him. He was never there for you.”
“But now he’s dead,” Mason cried out angrily, pounding his fists down on the table. “Maybe if I hadn’t got freaked out, and I had stuck around to help him, that wouldn’t have happened. He’d still be alive now.”
“Addiction is much more complicated than that.” I didn’t really know that myself, but it seemed obvious enough. “There wasn’t ever anything you could do. It was up to your dad to make that decision.”
He fell silent while he pondered this for a while, and I remained quiet too. I simply held him and waited until he needed me again. I felt helpless, sick; this wasn’t what I thought it would feel like to have him open up to me, but I was glad I could be there for him. At least that was something. At least he wasn’t going through this alone. That would have been so much worse.
“What do I have to do now?” he asked me, sounding as hopeless as I felt for him. “Do I have to go to his funeral? Am I supposed to mourn him? I don’t even know him?”
“There aren’t any rules,” I did my best to reassure him. “I don’t really know how you’re supposed to feel or what you should do. I guess it’s up to you what you do.”
“God, I don’t know what to do,” he groaned loudly. “And we have all this work stuff to deal with...”
“Don’t worry about it for now,” I demanded. “I’ll do it tomorrow. I think it’s time to get out of here right now. That problem isn’t going anywhere, and it also doesn’t matter if it gets fixed in the morning. You need to focus on you for now.”
He stood up slowly, a range of emotions crossing his expression. “You’re right, I do need to get out of here. Will you come with me?”
“Where?” I cocked my head curiously, not totally sure where he was going with this. “I don’t know if this is a great time to be drinking or anything.” I was careful with my words; I didn’t want to upset him, but he needed to be smart. This situation sucked, and booze would only highlight that.
“No, I don’t want to drink,” he shook his head hard. “I think I might just want to walk, clear my head, you know? And I don’t want to do it alone.”
“I’ll come with you,” I jumped up rapidly. “Walking I can do.”
The cold air blew past my face, causing a light shudder to race through me. It was that weird time of year where the days were warm, but the evenings were almost wintery, meaning I was never dre
ssed quite right. The coolness didn’t seem to be bothering Mason, though; he had his shirt sleeves rolled up and his top button undone, not showing any signs of feeling the temperature at all.
“Sorry, for unloading all of this on you tonight; that was probably a bit of an unexpected one,” he told me coyly, looking about as far from the tough, ice-cold Mason as he possibly could.
“Well, it was a curve ball for you too!” I wanted him to tell me, I wanted to be the one he confided in. Of course, this was a tough one to start with, but I hoped I was doing okay with it.
“The hospital only found me because of DNA. They were so desperate to find someone connected to him. How sad is that? You live your whole, sad life doing whatever, and there’s no one around to mourn you when you die? I never want to be that way,” he shook his head so violently that I felt a little afraid for him. This was affecting him deeply, cutting him to the core. Who knew where his head was going now? “Do people really hate me at work? If I died tomorrow, would anyone care?”
Oh God, that wasn’t what I meant when I told him that. If I’d known this was going to happen, I never would’ve said anything at all. I would have kept my stupid opinions to myself. “Of course they would,” I reassured him carefully. “People understand that you need to be a hardass, but I’m sure they know you’re a good guy deep down.”
“Yeah, right,” he scoffed, hanging his head in shame. “Whatever.”
“Well, I would miss you,” I told him instinctively. “I’d be absolutely heartbroken.”
He turned to face me, instantly causing the rest of the world to slide away once more. He had that intense look in his eyes, one that made my heart hammer in my chest, but whatever he had me feeling, I couldn’t let him act on it. Not while he was so hurt. I didn’t want to ever be anything he’d go on to regret.
“Come on,” I did a bright, fake smile. “Let’s keep walking. I can even get you something to eat. It is my turn to pay after all.”
“All right.” If he felt disappointed, then he didn’t show it. “Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s go.”
***
By the time we’d finished eating I could see a noticeable change in Mason. He was still torn up about his father, and he probably always would be, but he was a little bit back to himself too. He was smiling, laughing, making jokes, and everything he said made me feel even closer to him. We had a real bond now, a deep-seated connection, and that felt incredible.
“So, today has been a wild ride,” he announced playfully. “I’m so glad it was you there with me. You have no idea how calm you’ve made me.”
Woah... that was a powerful statement, one that had all kinds of emotions running through me. “Well, I... I’m glad I could be there for you too.” I felt like I was trembling all over.
“You really are incredible.” Oh God, it seemed that we weren’t done with the compliments yet. I didn’t know if my heart could take anymore! “Honestly, no one else would have stuck around for me like you have.”
“I... I’m sure they would,” I felt scrutinized under his gaze, and it was making me unsteady. This felt like a monumental conversation, and I couldn’t be cool with it to save my life. This felt a little like a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from.
“No, you don’t understand,” he took my hands in his and my heart literally skipped a beat. “I’ve tried to date a little bit after Monica cruelly dumped me, but no one has ever made me feel like you do. Hell, she didn’t even make me feel this way. I thought it was love back then, but I was wrong. I was infatuated with her, and she didn’t give a shit. She left at the first chance, proving that to me...” he trailed off for a moment, and I found myself holding in a nervous breath. “Anyway, you make me feel totally different.”
I couldn’t hold it back any longer; the emotions were surging through me. I knew it wasn’t the wisest decision that I’d ever made, but I couldn’t seem to help it. I pulled him sharply to me, crushing his body up against mine, and I kissed him passionately. At first, he seemed stunned by my crazy reaction, and maybe I was a little bit too, but then he melted into me, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, and he kissed me back.
“Come back to mine,” I whispered against his lips as we finally pulled apart. I wasn’t sure exactly what I had in mind, but I knew for certain that I didn’t want him to be alone. “Stay with me.”
“Are you sure?” he replied, gazing imploringly into my eyes. “I don’t want to...”
“What, make things complicated?” I giggled. “Don’t you think everything is confusing enough?” At least we were addressing things now, at least we were dealing with the issues. That felt much more serious than what we had before...
“True, true, that’s fair enough,” he was laughing with me, but there was something unsure about it. “I know this isn’t the most typical situation, but in all honesty, I’m not too great at... dating, or feelings.” Well, that blew any theories about him being a player out of the window.
“Trust me,” I took his hand in mine and started leading him towards home. “It’s gonna be fine, we’ll... work it out, or whatever.”
As we walked from the food place and back out onto the streets, I felt like all eyes were upon us. I may have just been being paranoid because I knew we were potentially about to do something that we really shouldn’t, but what was I supposed to? I couldn’t leave Mason by himself, and honestly, what we had between us was so intoxicating and addictive... we were going to have to cave eventually. It was inevitable. There was only so long we could keep pushing all of this to one side.
A thick, sexual tension clung to the air as we walked back towards my home, taking all other emotions away. Mason was growing increasingly excited, I could tell, and I couldn’t help but hope that what would come next would be the start of something amazing and new for both of us. We were both inexperienced with relationships – in all honestly, me more than him – but together, if we both wanted it badly enough, we could make it work.
Either that or it’d be a complete and utter disaster. I supposed we’d find out one way or another.
Chapter Nine
As we crashed through the front door to my apartment, my head was all over the place, I felt completely and utterly on fire. We were kissing fast and passionately, giving into the temptation before we even really had a chance to think about it. Maybe I should have pushed him off for a moment, just to let him think, but to be perfectly honest, this moment felt like it’d been a long time coming.
I grabbed Mason’s shirt and began tugging at it, needing it gone. Unfortunately, my fingers were trembling much too violently for me to really get it done so he finished the job for me. Once I started running my fingers over the most incredible muscles that I’d ever experienced in my whole damn life, he yanked my blouse so violently that the buttons shed in a heartbeat, and I didn’t even care. What did one top ruined mean compared to being with this amazing man?
Gone was the vulnerable, sweet side of Mason. The domineering, powerful side of him was back with a vengeance – only this time I really didn’t mind. I was more than happy to give everything up to him, to let him take control.
He reached around and unhooked my bra and we both watched in silence as it tumbled to the ground like a worthless piece of paper. He growled in pleasure, gave me a look that was full of a thick, needy desire, sending a bolt of lightning electricity right down to my core. When he stared at me like he was desperate to devour me, I became a helpless, quivering mess.
“You really are something else,” he panted at me before crashing his lips into mine again. Every single time we kissed, we sizzled; it was wonderful. As his hands explored my curves, my heart pounded harder and harder, until it was damn near impossible for me to hold myself upright for another second longer.
“Follow me,” I gasped, sliding my fingers through his. As we walked towards my bedroom, I found my hips swaying seductively. I was like a sexual, twisting goddess and that felt kinda cool. I hadn’t ever felt so body confi
dent before, which was bizarre because Mason was by far the hottest guy I’d ever been with.
It had to be him, and the way he made me feel. That was the only explanation.
I tumbled playfully back onto the sheets as soon as we were inside, and he climbed above me in an instant, as if he couldn’t bear to be away from me for even a second. We started kissing, even harder and more passionately than before, and it was making me feel all kinds of things.
This meant something; it was leading somewhere. We’d been through an emotional time together tonight; there was a bond growing and we were simply building upon that.
Eventually, my head lolled to one side in sheer ecstasy and my eyes slid shut for a second. Mason took full advantage of my vulnerability by running his mouth all over my exposed neck and collar bone, amping everything up a notch. He was sending shivers of intense desire traveling all the way down my body, and if he carried on the way he was, I wouldn’t be able to control myself for much longer.
“Oh shit,” I groaned as his mouth finally found my breasts. His tongue flicked everywhere, exploring every inch of my nipples, and he was driving me absolutely wild. I’d never felt so out of control before, so wild, so animalistic, and it honestly felt great. One moment my hands were balled up in my hair as I gasped loudly with sheer joy, the next they were grabbing onto him, digging into his shoulders like there was no tomorrow.
“You’re incredible,” I heard myself murmuring carelessly. “Everything about you...”
All of a sudden, I found myself silenced by the feel of his fingers dipping under the waistband of my skirt to start playing with the outline of my underwear. I had on a red, expensive pair of lace panties, but in the heat of the moment, I didn’t care about that. I wanted them gone so much, I wouldn’t have cared one iota if he tore them to shreds just to get at me. My hot, wet desire was pulsing for him, screaming so loudly that I couldn’t think about anything else.