by Gold, Bella
Sadness gave way to anger. I wanted to be happy, I wanted to find someone. It didn’t seem fair that I couldn’t because of him. Despite what Carly said to me, Mason probably had someone new. He probably had a string of women making him forget me and I couldn’t get through one lousy date. It wasn’t fair, and I wanted him to know that.
Luckily for me, he didn’t pick up and it rang until it went to voicemail. “Ugh,” I slurred in temper. “What the fuck is it with you? Why can’t you just let me live my life, huh?” I wasn’t sure what I was doing, only that it felt good to get some of the tied-up emotions off my chest. “Why do you have to be in my mind all the time? Why do you have to crop up when I’m going on a date? It isn’t fair. I want to move on, I want to find the happiness I could have had with you if you’d let me.” Shit, was I crying? “We could have really been something, but you blew it.” I’d started now; there was no stopping me. Everything was tumbling out. “I know you were going through a hard time, but you shut me out. I wanted to be there for you, I wanted to help, but you wouldn’t let me.”
I fell back on the couch, my cheeks wet. I was an emotional wreck; I hated being so weak and vulnerable. I also knew that I was going to regret this in the morning, so I had to get it all out now while I had the chance.
“I liked being the one you opened up to. I wanted to be that for you all the time... but you pushed me away. I’m sorry for hitting you, though...” I thought about that for a second, before realizing that I didn’t mean it. “Actually no, I’m not. Apparently, you’ve been much nicer to everyone since then, so maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing.” I was going off on a tangent now, saying things I hadn’t even planned on. “Maybe you see now that honey is better than vinegar, after all.”
Oh God, I couldn’t do it anymore. The memory of that date compared to the one I’d just been on was hard. I needed to hang up before I started declaring my undying love or something stupid like that. This was bad enough without me making it even worse! If Mason ignored me, it would be bad enough, but if he called me back, I was going to end up a mess again. It would send me right back to square one... not that I was too far from that. I needed to wrap this up now, I needed this to end.
“So, yeah, erm...” What was the point of this phone call again? What had I actually planned on talking about. “You ruined my life, but I’m working on making it better. Goodbye.”
I forced myself upright and walked towards my bedroom, allowing the memory of him to come back again. When he was here and we were kissing, heading towards making love, I was the happiest I’d ever been. I felt so right, so adored, I never wanted that to end. I hated the fact that it had gone so sour afterwards. It just wasn’t right. I hadn’t done anything to deserve that.
As I drifted in and out of an unsettled, restless sleep, my mind was on Mason the entire time. Maybe I needed to move; maybe that was the issue. I was too near to him all the time, I could practically see his office from my apartment, and I felt like I always knew where he was. Maybe I needed to move across the city, maybe to another state entirely. Maybe if all of this went tits up at work, if it became too hard to work there after this disaster with Joe, then I could take that as a sign that it was time for a real fresh start.
Chapter Fifteen
I spent a lazy Sunday trying my best to recover from my hangover and shame. Memories of the awful date with Joe kept flickering up into my mind, vague recollections of my phone call to Mason were there, however hard I tried to ignore them. It was safe to say that I’d screwed up big time and I needed just one day off from everyone to feel sorry for myself.
My cell phone was sitting on my bedroom table, switched off so I didn’t have to deal with anyone. I wanted to talk to my girls, I still wanted to share the story and to laugh about it, but I was much too afraid of anyone else calling. I was too fragile to deal with any of it. I wanted to just veg out in front of mindless reality television shows until the shame was gone and I felt strong enough to deal with what I’d done.
Last night, at some ridiculous hour of the morning, I made the decision that I was going to move away to start again, but now I realized that was madness. I couldn’t just run away when things got hard; that was what Mason had done and it’d caused me to lose all respect for him. I needed to weather the storm, to use it to make me a stronger person. I was fed up of allowing everything to weaken me.
I needed to be better. When I stormed out of Mason’s office, I felt strong, and I wanted to recapture that again.
Knock, knock.
At first, I ignored the knocking. It sounded so light that I assumed it was on the door of another apartment entirely. Or maybe it was my thumping head. I didn’t really want to face anyone wearing only a robe and sweat pants anyway. My hair was scraped back and I didn’t have any makeup on, I looked at my worst. Even if it was for me, I didn’t want to deal.
Knock, knock.
Knock, knock.
But then it grew louder and more persistent. I clicked the ‘Mute’ button on the television remote and sat up straighter to listen more intently, panic tearing through my veins.
Knock, knock.
Shit, it was someone for me, and I couldn’t even pretend I wasn’t in because my TV had been blaring only moments before.
“Who’s there?” I called out cautiously, stepping close to the door.
Knock, knock.
No one answered; they just knocked once more. Maybe it was Carly or one of the girls; maybe their date had gone awry and they really needed my help. I couldn’t ignore it, whoever it was, just in case. So with a sinking heart and a terror deep inside of me, I swung the door open widely to see the person I least expected in the world there.
“Mason? What the hell are you doing here?”
Oh fuck, I became acutely aware of my disheveled appearance, of the fact that I looked and felt like hell. This wasn’t a dream scenario where you bumped into your ex-looking incredible, with another man on your arm; this was me, hungover and looking like death. I pulled my robe tighter around me, but nothing could make this any better.
Then he blew me away by handing me a jar of honey with a massive grin on his face. As I took it from him, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and I met his eyes with a jolt. “You’re right,” he told me confidently. “Honey is better.”
“Huh?” I felt like I’d missed something somewhere along the line, and I hated adding another disadvantage to the list.
“Remember? Your phone call last night?” the confidence slid away and an uncertainty overtook him. Good, he needed to feel a little bit like I did. “The one where you told me honey was better than vinegar after all?”
I could remember all kinds of things, mostly: Why do you have to be in my mind all the time? Why do you have to crop up when I’m going on a date? It isn’t fair,” which sent a powerful, hot blush tearing through my body.
“Yeah... I remember; sorry about that.” I couldn’t work out why he was here, and that made me so damn nervous. “Did you want to come in?”
He walked through the hallways of my house as if he owned the place, and I tiptoed behind him as if I was the one who wasn’t at home. I just felt so off-kilter, like I’d messed up my brand-new life by dragging my old one into it, and I had no idea what was going to happen next.
I needed to face it, though if I wanted any kind of closure.
“So, how was your date?” he smirked at me, falling on my couch. “Not too good by the sounds of it.”
“Why are you being this way?” I gasped. It didn’t feel right for him to storm in here with arrogance. “Don’t you have anything else to say? An apology maybe?”
The happiness fell from his face and he leaned forwards onto his knees. “Okay, look, I’ve been wanting to call you ever since the day you walked out on me. I’ve wanted to say sorry for shutting you out, for taking my mood out on you, but I knew I needed to be in a better place first. I had to go to my father’s funeral, to get some closure, to make myself the man you deserved to be w
ith.”
My heart thundered in my throat. How was it possible for him to be here saying all the right things after all this time? And why did I have to feel like I was going crazy throughout?
“But by the time I felt healed and ready, I overheard your friends talking about your wonderful new boyfriend, and I guess I didn’t want to harm your happiness. You deserve it after all I put you through.” I smiled secretly to myself, imagining Carly and the others doing that to help me. “So I tried to make myself move on, but you’ve always been on my mind too. So yeah, I guess I was happy to get your message telling me that you felt the same way. I’m sorry I came in here all arrogant, but I’m just so eager to have you back in my life.”
“What makes you think I’d want you?” I crossed my arms over my chest, wanting to remain somewhat dignified. “After all you did to me?”
“I know,” he stood up and moved closer to me, regret filling his eyes. “I was an ass to you, I don’t deserve you at all. But if you give me a chance, just one more shot, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
My heart pounded; indecision floated through me. Did I open up again to the man who’d hurt me? To the man, I was trying to move on from? Did I allow myself to be vulnerable when I was just starting to build myself back up again? Then again, could I turn my back on something that could be real?
I stared at him, my heart racing like crazy, my mind twisting and twirling everywhere. I wanted him, dear God I wanted him, but I was afraid, and that must have shown through.
“I’ll do anything,” he promised me. “You’ll see, I’ve changed. You came into my life and changed everything, and nothing has been the same since you left. I need you. I want you so badly, you have to believe me. I will never, ever hurt you again.”
I leaned in and pressed my lips against his, butterflies floating around inside of me. This was scary, the most terrifying thing I would ever do, but Mason was worth it. I’d always known that we could have been something special, and now we had the chance to try. Yes, I might end up with a broken heart, but I’d regret it forever if I didn’t give him a shot.
Then I pulled back from him and I grabbed the pot of honey with a wicked smile. “So, you’re catching people with honey now, huh?” He nodded, smiling. “Maybe you should use some of it to catch me?” I wiggled my eyebrows, totally forgetting that I looked like hell. With Mason giving me those eyes, it was easy to feel like a goddess, even at my worst state.
“Oh yeah? I thought I’d already caught you?” he teased. “I didn’t realize that I still had to try!”
“Oh, you never stop trying with me.” I kissed him once more, that sensation of pure happiness exploding inside of me. This was right, scary, but incredible all at the same time. I didn’t feel like an idiot for giving him another chance; I felt good about it.
I felt like he was the one. At least for now, I was trying my best not to get too wrapped up in long term, just in case. I wanted to protect myself a little bit.
“I love you, you know?” he announced, clearly thinking along the same lines as me. “I know that might be a little wild, but I do.”
“I love you too.” My heart exploded with joy as I let my true feelings free at last. I’d been secretly feeling love for him, pushing it down, refusing to acknowledge it, but now it was real, tangible, now it could become something. “Much more now that you aren’t my boss of course!”
He ignored my joke and lifted me up in the air as if I weighed less than a feather. “I can still be the boss in the bedroom, you know,” he practically growled. “Don’t you worry about that!”
The red-hot desire burst into flames as he took me into the other room to make our union more official. We’d been through our ups and downs, but more importantly, we’d made it to the other side; we’d come out of it so much better. We’d seen each other at our worst and we still wanted to try. That gave us a good chance at surviving, didn’t it?
Maybe Mason wouldn’t be my happy ever after, maybe we wouldn’t end up happily married spending the rest of our lives together, but right now he was all I ever wanted. I couldn’t even imagine myself looking at anyone else. We were in love, we were going to try, and that was good enough. Whether he was Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now was irrelevant; we made each other happy, and that was better than anything else.
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A Secret Baller’s Baby
By Alicia Black
Copyright © 2016
Chapter 1
“Tinaya. You are never going to get him to do an interview. Everyone is trying to get Dustin Bird, but he is not speaking to the press.”
“I am not the press.”
“You might as well be. Haven’t you done commentary on him before?”
She nodded to her co-worker and friend. “Yes, but I never brought up the scandal with that model. I am just there for sports. My dad would kill me if I went into all of that at a game.”
“Well, it is hard not to. Secret babies, married women, it is all very juicy. I want to know if it is true and how I can get involved.”
Tinaya shook her head and sighed out loud. Camille was a bit mad, but she had to admit that Dustin Bird was nice to look at. She rather liked to see him run up and down the court. It was a perk of her job that was better than money, but she at least had to try to be a little professional about it.
“Trust me. You don’t want any of that.”
“Trust me Tinaya, I do!”
She laughed and put her jacket on to fight against the cooling temperatures of autumn. “Girl you are a mess today. You can come down there with me, if you want.”
“You aren’t going to get past security and if you do, he isn’t going to talk to you.”
“Well I have to try, don’t I?”
“If you really want him to talk to you, get him alone and unbutton that shirt a little bit.”
Tinaya couldn’t believe her and she pulled her jacket closed. “I am not going to objectify myself for a story Camille.”
“I don’t know about all of that, I am just saying with those ta-tas, let them out and see the results. A man like Dustin wouldn’t be able to resist.”
She was not really thinking about it, but there was some truth in her words, though Tinaya would never admit it. Instead, she waved her friend off like she was crazy. “I will see you afterwards. Drinks?”
Camille nodded. “Yeah, how about the Glass Factory? It is supposed to be a good place that just opened up right down from their training building. You could just run over after you are done.”
Tinaya agreed. She didn’t leave her office with a good feeling that she was going to get the exclusive that her boss was hoping for, but she was still going to try. The idea of having a drink and a friend to finish the night off with made her feel a little better about her chances. It wasn’t part of her normal job, but Tinaya was not just going to be a pretty face with famous brothers talking about the game. She wanted to get to the truth of some of the biggest stories in basketball. That was her real goal and getting an interview with the leading point guard of the Golden State Warriors that no one else could get, was a good way to help that all out.
***
Nothing ever goes as planned though and when Tinaya finally got down to the practice courts there was no one there but a janitor. She deflated instantly, sure that she had missed her chance.
“Sir.”
The old man turned around and smiled at her in a way that made her own grin less warm. “I was wondering if any of the players are still here?”
“You don’t look like one of the groupies I catch in here after practice.”
Her back straightened with the suggestion and she shook her head. “I am not one of the groupies Sir. I work with ESPN as a commentator.”
He looked surprised. “Oh yeah. Well good for you.”
She didn’t know how to take his answer, but she waited for him to tell her if anyone else was around. “So are any of the pl
ayers still here?”
He shrugged and went back to his cleaning now that he knew she wasn’t going to work something out with him like others had offered. “Some of them might still be in the showers if you are brave enough to go in there.”
Tinaya thanked him, but she didn’t quite know if she was brave enough to go in there. She had to though and tried to gain a little courage. Her hand almost went to her shirt front to take her friend’s suggestion and she was mad at herself for even thinking about it.
Pushing open the locker room door, she saw a couple men in several states of undress and she felt her cheeks getting warm. All of them were nice specimens, but she was there for one thing and she was trying to remember suddenly what that was.
“You need something lady?”
Tinaya remembered and asked if Dustin Bird was around.
“I don’t think you want to try him. He is in a bad mood after practice.”
She had heard about his temper, everyone that followed basketball had no doubt seen one of his meltdowns. “I really do. Is he still here?”
“He is in the showers. I can keep you busy until he is done.”
The tall man stood up and she just smiled with a wave of her hand. “That won’t be necessary, but thanks.”
Tony just shook his head and sat back down, wondering what it was about Dustin that got him all of the attention. It seemed like he was going to have to show out in the same way to get any recognition.
Tinaya walked through the tiled corridor to the shower room and was relieved to see that it wasn’t so full. It was risky for her to be there, trying to get the story in such a way, but she couldn’t help it. She had to do something or her career was always going to be her sitting with a couple of old men, talking about sports. While she liked that job, Tinaya wanted more.
She got more too. When she went around the corner of the large room, Tinaya found Dustin standing with his back to her under the jets. Not knowing what she expected, she certainly didn’t expect the jarring sight that she came upon.