A Preacher’s Passion

by Lutishia Lovely

“Yeah, you’re my bitch,” Joni countered, then changed the subject suddenly. “Brandon and Kel bettah not be out fuckin’ other girls. They’re taking a long-ass time to run a couple errands and get some chips.”

  “True dat,” Princess agreed. “I don’t think so though. I think we finally got they asses trained!”

  “Right!” Joni stirred the nacho sauce and nodded her head to the hip-hop music blasting from the living room. “Hey, make a batch of your margaritas.”

  “Ooh, bet, that sounds good.” Princess walked to the pantry and pulled out the necessary ingredients. “We’re gonna have fun tonight, Joni girl.”

  Anyone who knew the innocent preacher’s kid who’d left Kansas four short months ago wouldn’t recognize the young woman cursing, drinking, and swapping jokes with her best friend while mixing an expert batch of margaritas. But Princess felt she had never been happier, and that she knew exactly who she was—Kelvin Petersen’s woman.

  Her anger at finding him humping a college classmate in their laundry room had lasted exactly seventy-two hours. That’s how long it was before Kelvin invited Princess to a private industry party for R & B crooner J. Holiday. Kelvin showered her with gifts: hooked her up in “hella Prada,” KLS stilettos, and a Tyra-like weave. Once at the party, he’d held onto Princess like she was gold, and when they saw Fawn, the female culprit of their recent romantic upheaval, Kelvin walked past her like she wasn’t even there. Princess’s heart had swelled in that moment, and all was forgiven.

  “Where’s the smoke?” Princess asked.

  “Go look in the room on Brandon’s dresser. I asked him to roll us a blunt before they left.”

  Princess returned shortly with a lit marijuana cigarette. She inhaled deeply, inhaled again, and then passed the joint to Joni.

  “Look at baby girl smoking like a pro.” Joni took a hit of the joint and continued. “I remember when you first started smoking, coughing and stuff. Girl, you were a mess.” Joni knew that before coming to UCLA, Princess had barely drunk alcohol, much less tried any illegal substance. She’d proven to be a fast learner though. Princess’s virginity had not been the only innocence lost since leaving home. Joni hit the joint again before passing it to Princess.

  Princess took another long drag. “This shit is good; I’m buzzing already,” she gritted out while holding in the smoke. “You got this food situation under control? ’Cause I think I’m gonna shower and change for our little get together tonight.”

  “Yeah, I’m cool,” Joni replied. “But hurry up ’cause you’re still gonna make the salad. Don’t think I forgot.”

  “Damn,” Princess said, pouring a glass from the pitcher of margaritas and taking a sip. “I thought you would once you got high.” She giggled and started dancing toward the bathroom. “Don’t worry, girl, I’m good for it. One designer salad coming up as soon as I get my fine on.”

  Kelvin was “getting his fine on” too, taking a long shower after spending a nice hour with insatiable campus twins Brandy and Sandy, sisters he’d been enjoying regularly for the past four weeks.

  “Y’all sho’ know how to show a brothah a good time,” he said after he’d emerged from the shower and began to towel off.

  “Hmm, you’re the good time,” Brandy said, sidling up to Kelvin and rubbing his naked body with her own. “Too bad you can’t stay longer. Looks like Princess has you on a leash.”

  “I try,” Kelvin said modestly, responding to the compliment while ignoring the leash jab. Talk of his lovemaking skills was already common among the “KBs”—Kelvin’s Beauties—a group of about a half dozen sexual partners of which Brandy and Sandy were members. The club rules were simple: One: keep your mouth shut. Two: if you must talk (Kelvin knew that some things were just too good to keep to oneself), do so only with other club members. And three: don’t talk. In exchange, each girl received regular sex, preferred seating at UCLA basketball games, and occasional flings with Kelvin’s teammates. If Princess ever found out about any of them, for any reason, they were ejected from the club.

  Kelvin hit the lock button on his key chain and climbed into the shiny, black SUV. He attached a Bluetooth to his ear and hit his cell phone’s speed dial button.

  “About time,” Brandon said as he answered Kelvin’s call. “You’re about to get us in a whole heap of trouble, boy.”

  “Never fear, the K-man’s here,” Kelvin answered. “We gots it all under control, son.”

  “Yeah, right. Just don’t depend on me to keep covering you, dude. You’re my friend and all that, but I don’t like being a part of your cheating on Princess. It almost feels like I’m cheating on Joni just by helping you.”

  “Aw, dog, don’t go getting all soft on me,” Kelvin said with a sigh. “I’m handling my business. Besides, it ain’t like I have a ring on my finger. Just stay with me, pad’na. Soon as I get this contract, everybody wins.”

  “Yeah, yeah, tell me anything. You’re not even in the league yet and look at you. What are you gonna become once you get signed, K-ho?”

  “More like, K-can’t-ho-no-mo,” Kelvin said with a laugh. “Once that multi-milly contract comes in, I gotta dock the dick. Can’t have the baby-mama-drama and what not.” Princess excluded, Kelvin prided himself on always using condoms.

  He navigated his Jeep to the curb. “I’m here, dog, where you at?”

  Brandon bounded out of the mall entrance and a short time later, he and Kelvin were back at the condo. The sounds of laughter greeted them as they opened the door.

  “I see the party’s already started,” Brandon said as he leaned down and gave Joni a kiss. “Look at your eyes—you’re high.”

  “Where’s the chips?” Princess asked Kelvin as he slouched down on the couch beside her.

  “Aw, damn,” he replied. “Brandon forgot to stop by the store.”

  Princess pushed Kelvin off her. “Uh, hello? That’s what y’all were supposedly going out to get. What happened?”

  “Don’t out the pout, mamacita. We had to take care of priorities.” Kelvin nodded to Brandon, who pulled out a small packet of multicolored pills.

  “You bad boys,” Joni said. She reached for the pills but Brandon pulled back. “Gimme!”

  “Not yet. We’re gonna wait for the crew to arrive.” Brandon threw the packet to Kelvin, grabbed the keys from the coffee table, and headed for the door. “What kind of chips do you want again?”

  While Joni answered Brandon’s question, Princess asked Kelvin, “What’s this?”

  “You know what this is, girl. Stop trippin’.”

  “Ecstasy?”

  “Yeah, and that’s what you’re going to be experiencing later on tonight.”

  “I don’t know, Kel. Blunts are cool and all, but I feel a little funny taking, you know, real drugs.”

  “You’re gonna love the way they make you feel,” Joni said, coming back into the living room. “You think I’d take anything that was really going to hurt me?”

  “Yeah,” Kelvin said. “And do you think I’d give my baby anything that would hurt her? This is just a little sumpin’ to help make the night right.” He rose from the couch and walked into the kitchen. “Oh yeah, you got the ’ritas crackin’, fo’ sho’, fo’ sho’.” He poured a glass and walked into the dining room, where Princess and Joni had set up the food. “Man, hope Brandon hurries back with the chips. I’m hungry.”

  “And the wings, y’all forgot the hot wings.” Princess came into the dining room. “It took all that time to find some drugs?”

  “Girl, let your man handle his business. I’ll go back out and get the wings.”

  “Never mind, I’ll have them delivered. We probably need to add some stuff anyway the way folks keep calling and inviting themselves to our spot.”

  “That’s because your spot,” Kelvin said as he grabbed Princess from behind and placed a large hand on her cootchie, “is the right spot.”

  “Stop it,” Princess cooed. But her actions reflected that she didn’t mean what she said.<
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  As the night progressed, amid the food, dance, ecstasy, blunts, and margaritas that flowed like water, Princess felt a high she wished would last forever. She was having the time of her life. And just when she thought things couldn’t get better, her party became one for two and moved to her and Kelvin’s bedroom. That’s when her ecstasy went to another level, one of the Kelvin kind. For the first time, she experienced multiple orgasms, and thought Kelvin’s libido would last all night. It almost did, and as the fingers of night waved to the morning, Princess curled her satiated body next to his and thought with conviction: I’m gonna be with this man for the rest of my life.

  26

  Happy Thanksgiving?

  Passion smiled as she watched Onyx cuddle up against her grandfather. They were in deep discussion, Passion’s father speaking to her daughter in a heartfelt tone, Onyx looking up with eyes of love. Passion could just about imagine the conversation, and in that moment Onyx confirmed what Passion thought was being said.

  “Mama, Pawpaw says I’m the most beautifulest girl in the whole wide world,” Onyx said proudly. “And he said he loved me this, no, this, no this much!” Onyx jumped off the couch and spread her little arms and legs as wide as they could go.

  “Well, if Pawpaw says it, you know it’s true,” Passion replied, with a wink to her father. “You’ve got to be the most beautifulest.”

  “Mama,” Onyx continued thoughtfully. “Is beautifulest a word?”

  Both Passion and her father laughed, and she explained, “It’s a special word Pawpaw made just for you. So if he says you’re the most beautifulest, then you are!”

  This answer seemed to satisfy Onyx because she nodded, hugged her grandfather, and skipped into the kitchen, where her grandmother was plating dessert.

  “Thanks, Daddy,” Passion said as she watched her daughter leave the room. “You always make her feel special, just like you did me when I was her age.”

  “I made you feel that way because you were…still are,” he responded.

  “Yeah, but I’m not your little girl anymore.” Passion’s voice broke unexpectedly. She covered it with a cough.

  But not before her dad noticed. “You’ll always be my little girl,” he said gently. “And I’ll always care about what’s going on with you. Like how you’re more quiet than usual, have been for the past few weeks.”

  Passion forced a smile before responding. “I’m fine, Daddy. Just overworked is all. You know we get the week off between Christmas and New Year’s. I’ll catch up on my rest then.”

  “I hate that you have to work so hard to support yourself and Onyx. Even with child support, it can’t be easy out there. Maybe one day you’ll find a nice fella’ there in your church. Everybody needs somebody.”

  The tears Passion had carried but refused to acknowledge the past two weeks threatened to erupt. But she wouldn’t cry over Lavon. She wouldn’t! She’d done good all day long, even as the holidays, and her siblings all spending them with their individual families, made her single status that much more obvious. She’d focused on her blessings—having a mother and father still alive; her health and strength; and her daughter. She’d been sincere when she thanked God during the Thanksgiving dinner prayer. She had too much to be thankful for to feel sorry for herself.

  “Mama!” she said, rising from her chair and heading to the kitchen. “Where’s that good old sweet potato pie?”

  Reminding herself of why she was thankful helped Passion make it through the rest of the afternoon. But when evening came, and her ex-husband picked up his daughter, Passion was left alone with nothing but her thoughts. She tried for the umpteenth time to reach Robin, only to find the number no longer in service. This was one of the rare times Passion wished for a female friend, somebody to share the feelings that were bottled up inside her, locked there since seeing Pastor Carla at Lavon’s hotel.

  Passion sighed as she pulled a container of vanilla ice cream from her freezer and scooped a generous amount next to a slice of warm pie. She walked into her bedroom, propped up her pillows, climbed into bed, and hit the remote. Unfortunately the scene that replayed in her head was louder than the one on the screen.

  It had happened the Sunday following the week she’d seen Lavon with Pastor Carla. He hadn’t returned her phone calls, but could not avoid her when she stepped in his path after Sunday morning services.

  “You’re a busy man, Lavon Chapman, too busy to return phone calls.”

  “I wasn’t too busy. I just didn’t want to talk to you, didn’t know what more could be said and didn’t want to continue feeding something that couldn’t grow.”

  Lavon’s blunt honesty surprised her. There was a pause before she answered. “Well,” she said, trying to add levity, “why don’t you tell me how you really feel?”

  Lavon led her away from the crowd gathering just outside the church doors. “I told you, Passion. You’re a good woman, but my heart is elsewhere. I couldn’t see us being just friends knowing that the attraction ran deeper than that, that our relationship had already gone beyond friendship.”

  “Yeah, I know where your heart is…but isn’t Dr. Lee’s heart there too?”

  Then it had been Lavon’s turn to be surprised. He’d fixed an intent stare on Passion, yet remained silent.

  “I saw her the other night, at your hotel.”

  Lavon had begun walking then, even farther away from the church. “When were you at my hotel?”

  “Oh, so she was there on more than one night? Interesting.”

  “What is interesting is that you came to my hotel uninvited.”

  “The way I see it, unless your last name is Sheraton, that is not your hotel. But you’re right, I did come even after you failed to return my calls. But I had a reason; I’d wanted to give you this.”

  Passion pulled the box from her purse. “It’s a going-away present for you, something to remember me by.”

  “Look, Passion—”

  “There’s no need to trip, okay? It ain’t like it’s Tiffany’s or nothing. And yes, I definitely thought about taking it back after what I saw, but at the end of the day, the truth is, I already bought it and I want you to have it, even with what I now know.”

  “And what do you think you now know?”

  “Oh please, Lavon. The first lady at your hotel at ten o’clock at night? C’mon now.”

  “Pastor Carla’s a busy woman. She’s also very involved in the Kingdom Keys tapings, as you well know. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.”

  “Hmph, a mountain is probably not what you were climbing the other night, but you probably ended up breathing heavy nonetheless.”

  “Girl, you’re trippin’.”

  “Yeah, whatever.”

  “It was an innocent meeting about the Kingdom Keys—”

  “In your room?”

  Lavon hesitated before answering. Did she come in the hotel? he wondered. Look for us in the restaurant, the coffee shop? Damn, maybe she saw Carla coming out the elevator.

  “What the first lady does is none of my business,” Passion continued before Lavon could respond. “That’s between y’all and God. It’s a moot point anyway since you’re headed back to Kansas City next week. Right?”

  “I’m headed there and then to Minneapolis for the holidays, to spend time with my daughter, visit other family.”

  They’d wrapped the conversation shortly afterward and went their separate ways. Lavon had called once, to thank her for the cross chain. She’d called him once, and they’d exchanged e-mails. And then the truth hit Passion square in the face: it wasn’t enough.

  “I miss him,” she said aloud, reaching over to her nightstand and picking up the phone. “I miss him, and we’re both grown-ups.” Maybe he and Carla had a one-night stand. Maybe they didn’t even have sex. Maybe he just performed a little licky, licky. Maybe she poured her heart out about a troubled marriage, or counseled him on how to have a successful one.

  Passion didn’t believe for one minu
te the two had just talked, but those thoughts were pleasant ones as she waited for Lavon’s voice mail. To her surprise, he answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Uh, hey, Lavon. You caught me—I mean, I was expecting your voice mail.”

  “Would you like me to hang up so you can leave a message?” There was a smile in his voice.

  Passion was smiling too. “No silly…happy Thanksgiving.”

  “To you too. It was a pleasant one I hope.”

  “It was. I spent it with my parents and my daughter of course. She’s with her dad now, hanging out with that side of the family tree.”

  “That’s good. It’s always good for a daughter to have a relationship with her father, no matter what.”

  “How’s your daughter—Felicia, right?”

  “Hey, you remembered. She’s great. Seems like she ages five years every time I see her. Yesterday a little girl, today a woman.”

  “I miss you, Lavon.” The words flew out before Passion could catch them.

  Silence. And then, “I hope God will bless you with the man you deserve, who will give you the love that you are so worthy of. “I’m sorry I hurt you, Passion. I know you were hoping for more than what exists between us.”

  “Yes, I wanted to be with you…still do. It’s been five years, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t regret not taking the chance at a little loving when it was right here, hard and ready, in my bedroom.”

  Remembering Lavon’s thick, juicy manhood made Passion squirm. She wished for the umpteenth time that she could redo the night he had spent at her house.

  “I’d better go,” Lavon said at last.”

  “All right then. Talk to you later.”

  Passion rolled out of bed and went to prepare another sweet potato pie à la mode. On the way back to the bedroom, she stopped by her DVD collection and picked out her Tyler Perry favorites. Tyler Perry was her preferred writer because his work always made her laugh, no matter what. She knew that seeing Madea—whether going to jail, reading a Black woman’s diary, or having a family reunion—would make her feel better. What was the famous saying…? It was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.