“But—”
“No.” Sway was firm. “You can't. Would your mom let you do that? Or James?”
Miles lost some of his bravado. “No,” he said quietly.
“You gotta check with me on sh—crap like that. I know we're still new and we're working the kinks out, but it's gonna be a lot harder if you think you don't have to respect me.”
Miles gave a single sober nod. Sway pulled him into a hug, feeling his boy's arms wrap tight around his neck.
“I love you, you know,” Sway said, taking a deep breath.
“I know. I love you too, Sway.”
It was probably the best thing Sway could've hoped for. But taking away from the glorious feeling of hearing his son say he loved him was that he didn't call him dad. But nothing could be done for that.
Sway patted him on the back and then rose to his feet.
“Now let's see if I can talk Ryan into giving me some of her coffee.”
“Only if you promise to be very nice to me,” she said having overheard them.
“I'm always nice to you.” Sway finally took his time to really take all of her in. Ryan in the morning was on his list of top five ways he liked to see Ryan. The tiny shorts, the messy hair, the fresh face and shy smile that she was currently directing right at him... It was enough to make him bite his lip. Which he did.
She rolled those gorgeous, expressive brown eyes.
One more week and he could go back to kissing her whenever he wanted. At least he had that one thing to look forward to.
***
“Because I don't need a grill, that's why.”
“Maybe I need a grill,” Sway muttered, rubbing the short beard along his chin.
“And where in the world are you going to keep a grill? You don't even have a house yet.” Ryan jutted her hip out as she crossed her arms.
“I can keep it at your place,” Sway said, bringing the argument full circle.
“Again. I don't need a grill.”
“I think you're missing the point of the sale.” Sway waved a hand at the grill in question. “It's not about need, it's about opportunity.”
Ryan shook her head as she tried to glare instead of frown. “You're impossible.”
“I think you mean handsome, but I'll take what I can get.”
Ryan's eyes flicked over to Miles, who was watching the two of them with rapt interest. Remembering their conversation earlier that morning, Ryan decided to not encourage Sway any further.
“Can't you pick out a grill on your own time? I was under the impression that you two were going to help me get chairs or something for my front porch.” It came out a little more exasperated and snippy than she had planned.
Sway's gaze swung her direction and he regarded her quietly. Her skin started to heat as her heart pounded just a little harder. All from just the way he was looking at her. Like he saw her.
“Good point,” he acquiesced, a hint of disappointment in his voice.
She only halfway understood his disappointment. They had discussed ahead of time that they would just be friends in front of Miles, no reason to confuse the kid. And Sway would introduce her as the girlfriend when it was time.
Okay, so she knew all these things. Why the hell was she so damn nervous? She wasn't an overly anxious person. At least, she didn't think so. But right now, in this moment, she was seriously considering turning on her heel and walking out the front door of Lowe's. She probably wouldn't stop until she reached the beach.
She swallowed, trying to get her breathing back to normal. There was no reason to for her to feel so confused and uneasy. It was Sway and it was Miles. She knew them, she liked them. Nothing out of the normal was happening.
Except that it was.
They were shopping.
In a store that sold things for homes.
That sold things to families.
Families who lived in the same home together.
“What's going on, angel?” Sway's blue eyes beckoned for her attention and she realized he'd entered her space and had one hand curved around the nape of her neck, fingers in her hair. His other hand was resting lightly on her waist.
“Nothing,” she lied.
“Ryan,” he whispered, his head dipping close to her face. “Talk to me.”
She stared into his face. This face that had become so very important to her in such a short amount of time, wondering how long she was going to be allowed to keep him. Wondering how she had let it get this far. They were having a family day for crying out loud! And they weren't her family. She was going to have to give both of them back. Sway would go back to his life of fame and music and people way more exciting than she was. And Miles... Miles would go back to his mother. The woman who raised him and loved him and Ryan would just be that lady who had the cool dog. She'd be nothing.
And they were so much to her.
Right now, they were entirely too much to her. And she had nothing to offer them in return.
But she wasn't strong enough or big enough or good enough at lying to pretend like none of this mattered.
“I want to keep you guys,” she confessed so quietly she wasn't sure Sway heard her.
The lines around his eyes that had been tight with worry, relaxed. His mouth softened into a smile and he squeezed her nape gently.
“I have a secret,” he said, those stormy blue eyes flickering with intensity. “We want to keep you too.”
The way he said it, made it sound like it had been discussed. Her mind raced with the possibility that Miles had come over that morning in an attempt to do recon. Her eyes slid his direction and she saw him hovering close, his little face hopeful.
Sway placed a kiss on her forehead, her eyes fell closed in response. With one touch, he could calm her down. He didn't say anything else on the matter. He simply took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together, then they went and bought chairs for her front porch.
***
It was after they had set up Ryan's new furniture. And after the fried chicken and pecan pie. It was after they had attempted to do her dishes for her and ended up making too many bubbles, which resulted in the slipperiest wrestling match known to man. And it was after they had all changed into dry clothes and curled up in Ryan's living room, Miles on one end of the sectional with Clive, Ryan in the other corner, and Sway laying on the floor where he could watch them both at the same time. Ryan was reading The Hobbit aloud because she said that it was too scary for most boys Miles' age and he had pouted until she had given in.
Sway listened to the beautiful cadence of her voice as she read through the old classic, not even struggling with pronouncing any of the names. Part of him wondered if maybe she was part Elf. She had that whole ethereal effect happening all of the time. Like she was just a visitor from someplace more fantastic than anywhere he could imagine. Like she was here to teach humanity what true beauty looked like.
He watched her mouth move as she read, the curve of her lower lip full and lush. He loved those lips. He could kiss them all day every day for the rest of his life and never grow bored. But that was because it was part of her. And he loved everything about her. Her kindness, her humor, her smile made out of pure sunlight.
He was very aware of the way she loved on his boy all day. Little hugs, giggles, gentle teasing. And Miles indulged in it. He missed his mom, but Ryan was dulling that ache for him.
She was goodness of the purist kind.
And she was his. Whether she knew it yet or not. She was his, because he was hers. There was no way around it. She owned his every heartbeat.
And he was thankful.
Chapter 24
I Won't Back Down
Had it really been a month already? Was Ryan's repeating thought as she pulled her car into the parking lot of the coffee house. She saw Blythe and Shayla's cars, and Sad Ian's truck, but not Cathy's car. Or Liam's.
Hopefully that meant she wasn't coming.
Ryan hadn't had any interaction with either one of t
hem since she'd seen Beardy at the park more than a week ago. She had half-expected Cathy to show up at her house and demand to know why Ryan was so rude. But all had been quiet. Which told Ryan that either Beardy had kept their little confrontation a secret, or Cathy was waiting to confront her publicly. Neither option was ideal.
Ryan ran a hand through her hair and grabbed her laptop bag off of the seat beside her. She normally didn't bring it with, but Blythe had sent her a text saying that they were all sprinting tonight and to come prepared.
Which was fine with Ryan. She was way behind on edits and she needed to get caught up. The distraction of having Sway nearby was definitely cutting into her working hours.
Shayla waved her over to their commandeered booth. It was actually the only booth in the whole coffee house. In a corner, in a half-moon shape. It was equal parts modern and retro. Like many coffee houses that Ryan had been in over the years.
Sad Ian was on one end, Blythe and Shayla in the middle, leaving the other end for Ryan. She unhooked her laptop bag from her shoulder as she slid onto the bench.
“Is this it for tonight?”
Bythe's mouth opened to answer and her words died in a contorted growl as her eyes drifted over Ryan's shoulder.
“Hey, guys!” Cathy plunked her laptop on the table.
Great.
Ryan gave Cathy a tight smile. “I'm gonna get myself a coffee.” She opened it up to the rest of the group. “Anything for anyone else?”
“I'll come with you!” Cathy volunteered happily.
“'Kay.”
Ryan stood at the counter, wishing like hell she would have just stayed home.
“How have you been?” Cathy asked, standing beside her. Not behind her, like she was in line. No, right beside her, like they were friends.
Ryan tucked her hair behind one ear. “Good.”
“I stopped by your house a couple of weeks ago and there was no one there.”
Ryan blinked slowly one time as she took a deep breath. What in the actual hell? Why did these people, that she didn't even like, think it was okay to “check on her?” What were they hoping would happen? They'd catch her in the middle of a massive drug deal and be able to notify the authorities? Or maybe they thought she was hording illegal amounts of Nutella and had to be stopped.
“I was out of town.” It was still more information than she was comfortable giving to anyone, but especially Cathy. Because Cathy was annoying.
“Oh, where were you?”
Cue the follow-up question.
It would be rude to say, “none of your business.” Ryan felt the strain in her jaw as she clenched her teeth.
“It was personal.”
The barista handed over her coffee at that point and Ryan took it gratefully, returning to her place at the table without waiting for Cathy. Because forget her, that's why. She was rude and her fiancé wouldn't stop giving her the creeps.
“That was kind of rude,” Cathy said when she'd rejoined them. Her condescending tone and ability to make Ryan feel like a child was truly remarkable.
The blood pounded in Ryan's cheeks as she forced eye contact with the perky know-it-all. “Sorry.”
Cathy shrugged one shoulder, a placid smile on her face. “I heard you were babysitting last week. Liam said he saw you at the dog park. A friend of yours or a relative...?”
Cathy's determination to know the personal details about Ryan's life was starting to cross the line from annoying to stressful.
“Yeah, maybe tell your boyfriend to stop stalking me,” Ryan said, opening up her laptop and pulling it out of hibernation.
“Fiancé,” Cathy corrected. “I was just making conversation.”
“Well, I'm here to work, so...” Ryan didn't care anymore. She had no reason to walk this line with Cathy. She wasn't going to do it anymore. She'd spent too much of her life trying to please the people around her and all it did was make her fat and give her chest pain. She hadn't realized the amount of stress that Cathy had reintroduced into her life until Sway had shown her what it felt like to hang out with people who actually liked her and weren't trying to correct every little thing about her.
“Speaking of work,” Cathy said, with what she probably considered an edge to her voice. She faced Blythe and Shayla, who had (up until then) successfully avoided Cathy's focus. “I've been working on a new story. It's this really sweet little romance—”
“Wait. What?” Blyyhe asked, eyes narrowed.
“It's a romance. Super cute. I can't wait until it's done.”
“You're kidding, right?” Blythe asked.
“Yeah, what happened to romance being 'beneath' you?” Ryan couldn't help but ask.
Cathy's chin came up defiantly. “I figured since everyone else was doing it, I could go ahead and try it.”
The table was quiet for a minute.
“But not everyone is doing it,” Shayla pointed out slowly. “Ryan is the only one of us who writes romance.”
Cathy rolled her eyes. “I'm not copying anybody. She's not the only one who can write romance. She doesn't get to lick it and claim it as hers.”
“I am sitting right here,” Ryan pointed out, mostly just because she could.
Cathy's happy exterior was starting to chip away and reveal something far more bitchy underneath. “I should've known to expect this from you.”
Ryan frowned. Cathy was picking away at her muffin so it was difficult to tell who she was speaking to. “Expect what from who?”
If this conversation was any indication of how Cathy's first draft was going, it didn't sound promising.
“You're always so mean to me. You just sit over there acting like you're the queen of the writing world and we're lucky if you even talk to us.”
Ryan couldn't stop the lip curl and nose scrunch at Cathy's words. What the what?
“Meow.”
The one word, delivered in abject complacency, was unexpected. And came from the most non-threatening of the group. Sad Ian. Ryan chanced a look at him and immediately had to look away. His usual dour face was marked with disapproval and contempt. Except the lazy version.
It struck Ryan's very dark funny bone. She wanted to laugh. She could feel the tiny vibrations of it starting in her stomach and she began to breathe deeply to keep it under control.
“Excuse me?” Cathy asked, squeaky and confused.
Sad Ian sighed and rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “We meet once a month. Every month you show up and talk the entire time.” He waved his hand to encompass the group. “Usually about how much better than the rest of us you are. And you rip on Ryan in the most nauseatingly polite way I have ever heard. I like Ryan. She's nice and she doesn't make me feel like a damned old fool when I send her my ideas. So, how about taking a break from the cattiness, yeah?” He finished with a curt nod and slid out of the booth, heading for the counter.
The table lapsed into silence again, everyone too surprised by Sad Ian's words to really add anything to it. Shayla began clicking away on her word document. Blythe followed shortly after.
Ryan thought about saying something. She wasn't sure what. Cathy was just sitting over there pouting and Ryan was almost positive she was going to pay for this on social media come morning.
“Ryan!”
The bright voice yelling her name caused an instant smile on her face even before she had turned all the way around. Miles came running through the coffee shop and Ryan slipped out of the booth, dropped to one knee and caught him in mid-flight.
“My favorite distraction!” She hugged him tight, breathing in his little boy scent of sunshine, exuberance, and mischief.
Grabbing him by his shoulders, she pulled him back and narrowed her eyes teasingly. “What are you doing here?”
“We were going for ice cream and he spotted your car.” Ryan looked up into Sway's dimly apologetic face. He grimaced and mouthed, “sorry.”
Their timing could not have been more perfect. Standing up she began to slide her laptop back
into her bag. “I think I'm going to need some ice cream, too.”
“Yeah!” Miles declared as he grabbed a hold of one of her hands. “Can we go back to your house to read The Hobbit some more?”
“Absolutely.” Ryan tousled his shaggy blond hair and grinned at Sway.
“Aren't you...” he looked at the watchful faces surrounding them. “Busy?”
Ryan sucked in a breath and then plunged ahead. “Guys,” she spun around, “this is Sway and his son Miles. They've been the ones keep me thoroughly distracted. Miles, Sway, this is my writing group—Blythe, Shayla, and Cathy. Ian is over there getting himself a warm-up.”
Sway gave the table a low wave. Blythe and Shayla just stared in open interest, their eyes darting between Sway and Ryan.
“I thought—” Shayla cleared her throat. “I thought you were on a deadline.”
Ryan rolled her lips inward. “I am.” She glanced down at Miles. “And he leaves at the end of the week.”
Ryan was feeling two things at once. The urgency to finish her edits and be able to wrap up another project, and the desire to spend as much time with Sway and Miles as possible. She'd never had to choose before. She'd kept her life organized socially in such a way that no one expected her to show up to events or take time out of her writing schedule to hangout and have ice cream.
But now she had two people, two very interesting and important people, who liked her. And Miles was going to be gone in four more days.
The edits could wait.
As she began sliding the laptop bag over her shoulder, it went weightless. She turned to see Sway taking it from her and slinging it across his shoulders. “I got it,” he said with a chin lift.
Ryan took a second to allow that feeling slide through her body. It started in her chest and spread to her arms and legs, making her feel light. She'd spent a good deal of her life carrying her own bags, opening her own doors, defending her own opinions. Sway's small chivalrous gestures were new and completely natural to him. She was probably more aware of them than he was. She'd often wondered how she'd respond if a man started doing those things for her. Would she protest? Would she feel offended? Made to feel incompetent?
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