Nope.
She simply felt important. Like he saw something he could do to participate in her life and he did it. It was just as huge and just as small as it seemed.
She had no way of conveying this to him. So she just smiled with as much sincerity as she could and said, “Ice cream then?”
Sway's smile was the one she liked so much. Saying things she didn't understand, but really wanted to. His eyes focused on her mouth, traveled up to her eyes, where he held her gaze for a second longer. “Yeah.”
***
“Your shoes are out here in the entryway!” Sway hollered over his shoulder.
“Okay!”
“Hustle up, we have to leave in fifteen minutes!”
“Okay!”
Sway chuckled to himself at the exasperated response, letting himself out the front door. Last day of school this week and then Miles would be going back to his mom. It was definitely a bittersweet feeling. He was going to miss seeing his kid every day, but this would also give him the opportunity to find a house of their own. And of course explore more things with Ryan.
“Morning,” he said, picking up his coffee that she had waiting for him on the front step. All of the new furniture they'd picked out and set up for her front porch and she still sat on the top step.
“Good morning,” she glanced over his shoulder to see if Miles was outside yet, then placed a kiss on his cheek.
“I liked that,” Sway said, leaning closer to her face, intent on kissing her somewhere else.
“Yeah?” she blushed and bit her bottom lip.
“Yeah,” he whispered, his lips softly brushing hers. Her tongue swept out and lightly touched his lower lip, he let out an involuntary groan. Taking a deep breath, he righted himself and shook his head. “And that's exactly why I don't kiss you.”
Her laughter burst out in a happy surprise. “What? Why?”
He faced her seriously, knowing she had no idea what she did to him. “Because little things like that get me... way too excited.”
Ryan's cheeks turned hot pink and she hid her embarrassed smile behind her cup.
“Soon, babe.” He got her eyes back. “Just a couple more days.”
“And then what?”
“And then I'll take you on a proper date.”
One eyebrow went up. “A proper date?”
“Yep.” Sway took a sip of his coffee and let his mind begin to plan how the evening would go. He hadn't taken a beautiful woman out on the town in far too long. He loved the excitement of it, the thrill of seeing what she would choose to wear. Something all her, that she picked out just for that moment. Just for him.
“What do you have planned for today?” he asked, changing the subject.
“More edits. Hopefully I'll make a bigger dent in them today than I did yesterday.” She picked an imaginary piece of lint off of her pants. He'd noticed that when she spoke about her writing, she had a decidedly different tone. She was serious while being cynical. It was a small change, but one he'd become accustomed to. At the same time, he wished he could argue against whatever criticism she was telling herself. The voice inside an artist's head was often the loudest and most soul crushing. His experience was limited to musicians, but he could imagine the dialogue being similar for a writer. Especially one as talented as Ryan.
“I think maybe you don't get to hear this as often as you should,” he said quietly, making sure he had her attention. “You're awesome. Your brain is awesome. You're far more talented than you give yourself credit for.”
She shook her head and looked out into the yard. “I just write silly little romance stories.”
“With layers,” he pointed out. “You see the layers of people and pull them back for your readers. Giving them the opportunity to look outside of themselves and see people for who they are and all they could be.” He took a breath. “And nothing about that is silly.”
Her eyes closed and she swallowed. “Stop,” she whispered. “You're not supposed to make me cry.”
But he couldn't stop. “I think you write the way you actually see things. You see people. You see me. And Ryan,” he paused, waiting for her to look at him. She did, her dark eyes glossed over with emotion. “No one has ever seen me before.”
Her delicate eyebrows dipped in confusion. “How is that possible?” she asked softly. “Sometimes you're so bright, you're all I see.”
Sway's heart beat hard, like it was trying to break free of its cage and return to the home it had found in Ryan's eyes. “You're not supposed to say things that make me want to kiss you.”
Her eyes dropped to his mouth as she gave him a small smile. “I'm not even sorry.”
He was so undeniably in love with her.
If only he could tell her that.
“I'm ready!” Miles came flying out of the house and into the driveway. “Let's go!”
Sway set down his coffee cup and stood, not taking his eyes from the gorgeous brown ones that were trained on him. “See you later?”
Her lips twitched. “Yeah.”
As Sway backed out of the driveway, he paused for a second. “What would you think if I asked Ryan out on a date, bud?”
Miles shifted in the backseat. “I think that would rock.”
Sway smiled. “You like her pretty good?”
“Uh, duh.”
Sway grinned at his son in the rear view mirror. “Me too.”
Chapter 25
Golden
Ryan had been avoiding Sway for a couple of days. Not full-on avoiding, which would include dropping to the floor and playing dead when he came to the door, or you know, witness protection—the ultimate avoidance tactic.
She was just limiting their one-on-one time together since Miles left. Without the little boy buffer, she was suddenly very aware of her attraction to Sway. In a word: intense. In more words: crazy insane amounts of hottness.
For Sway's part, he was letting her. They knew each other well enough by now for him to know that she wasn't pulling away, she was just taking a breather.
Because when it came right down to it, they had spent more time together in the past month than most couples do in the first year of dating. All of that information had been on a steady download to her brain and she really hadn’t taken the time to let things settle.
But for now, the rush had subsided. Now they'd entered the space of learning how their lives went together when they were just living.
Which included proper dates.
Apparently.
Ryan had decided to go shopping for the occasion. She didn't have a gaggle of girlfriends to call and go with her. The last time she'd gone shopping with girlfriends had been in high school. It was a learning experience, she didn't have fun. She found that she enjoyed herself and her purchases more if she went by herself and with a purpose.
Now the time had come for Sway to pick her up, and she was apprehensive.
She looked at her reflection in the full length mirror in her bedroom, her new purchase looking just as it had in the dressing room at the mall today. At the time, it had seemed elegant and tasteful. Black, strapless, sweetheart neckline, a-line, with a lace overlay along the right side. It was simple and yet daring. She had decided on it immediately after trying it on. It fit like a glove, hugging her curves and making her legs look a mile long.
But now... Now the butterflies she always wrote so much about were an actual thing. She couldn't stop staring at herself. She was so used to seeing the reflection in the mirror wearing yoga pants and unwashed hair, that she hardly recognized herself. She hadn't really done much to get ready. She had added some loose curls to her (clean) hair, and added some eyeliner. It was just this damn dress. It was its own thing. It made her look... hot. And that was terrifying.
Not to mention the strappy black kitten heels she bought to go with it. They were cute and on sale. But they were a force all their own.
What if Sway thought she was trying too hard? What if he didn't believe that this was the eas
iest time she'd ever had getting ready for a date in her life because she hadn't been worried about it until this moment?
Or worse, what if he didn't show up at all?
She had been avoiding him. What if he wasn't giving her space, but was instead just done with her altogether?
The doorbell rang. Ryan had eye contact with herself, looking for some sort of confidence boost. All she saw were the wide eyes of a woman who had no idea what she was doing.
Clive barked at the door and Ryan rushed down the stairs, hollering out, “I'm coming!”
She straightened her dress, took a breath and opened the front door. She did a quick scan, saw that it was Sway and he looked too good for words, and she turned around.
“I just have to get my purse, and we can go.”
“Hold on a second.” He took a step inside grabbed a hold of her hand, pulling her to a stop. “Let me have a look at you.”
Ryan's heart began to pound. She didn't want him to look at her, she wanted to get her purse. She tried to tug her hand away from his.
“Ryan.” Sway's voice soothed and he coaxed her closer. His free hand curved around her neck and then he was there. His eyes seeking and finding hers. “Hey.”
She licked her lips and gave him a shaky smile. “Hey.”
He held her eyes steady, his fingers on her neck giving gentle pressure and keeping her there.
“It's just you and me,” he said softly. “Take a deep breath, brown eyes.”
She did. As she did, she became aware of how amazing Sway smelled. Fresh, clean, a hint of aftershave. She finally caught up with the moment and really looked at his face.
“You shaved.” She touched the smooth skin of his face which turned into beautiful curves as he smiled at her. Her gaze moved further and her fingers followed. “You cut your hair.”
“Just a little.”
Sway's formerly long blond hair that used to touch his shoulders was now much shorter. Not enough to be dramatic to the rest of the world, it was still longish and if it weren't combed back at the moment it would probably still hanging in his eyes, but it was dramatic to Ryan.
“Why?”
Sway chuckled and she stopped staring at his hair where her fingers were running through it and looked back into his stormy blue eyes.
“It's just a haircut. I'll explain why later. But we should get going. I have a reservation.” He took a deep breath. “Can I look at you now?”
Ryan's cheeks went hot. While they were standing so close together, and his face was all she could see, she'd become less self-conscious about what she was wearing. Realizing that she had let her head overreact to begin with, she smiled and nodded.
Sway took a step back but didn't release her hand. She took this moment to finally get a look at him as well.
And she liked what she saw.
Sway was in a suit. And it fit him like it was made for him. Chances were it probably was.
Charcoal, slim fit, with a black shirt and top three buttons undone. He looked good.
“Every time I see you, I don't think you can get any more beautiful. And then you prove me wrong.”
Ryan pulled her eyes away from Sway's tailored pants and they went back up to his mouth. Oh, she liked him. Way more than she probably should.
“Will you let me take you to dinner?” he asked, tugging on her hand a little.
“Yes,” she replied, knowing that word echoed in heart in more than one way.
***
Sway had taken advantage of Ryan's avoidance to drive up to Boston and get some more if his things. He also found a high-end restaurant that would guarantee them privacy even if paparazzi were to find them. Which he doubted would happen. As far as he knew, they mostly cared about the band. And they'd follow Luke around quite a bit hoping for something juicy. But the rest of the band flew mostly under the radar. As long as none of them overdosed or crashed their car.
He knew she needed some room to breathe. It was either that, or he'd risk her shutting down on him entirely. In a month's time, he'd learned a lot about what she liked and didn't like. What pushed her buttons in a bad way... and in a good way.
But there was still so much more for him to learn.
And he was excited for it.
Tonight was all about taking the next step. He knew her favorite color and song and movie. But he wanted to know her.
And he wanted her to know him.
Besides, he loved first dates. He gave good date.
“I didn't even know this place existed,” Ryan said under her breath, watching the host walk away and covertly looking around the restaurant.
They had been seated in a high-back booth with a view of the river. It was still early enough that the sun was casting a golden and pink hue along the water and it was reflected back through the tall windows. Ryan stopped trying to peer around the edges of the booth and instead stared at the view before them.
She took a long, deep breath, a soft smile highlighting her lips. Sway knew she would love it here. He'd picked up on a few things over the past month and his girl liked sunsets on water. It settled her in a way that was unique and beautiful to behold.
Their server arrived and automatically filled her glass with Cabernet Sauvignon. Ryan looked up at Sway through her lashes and he winked. Her small chastising head-shake caused him to laugh which caused her cheeks to turn red.
The server walked away and Sway gave her a grin. “Order whatever you want. But I really recommend the lobster.”
“Why? Have you had it? Is this like, your place? Where you bring all your dates?” She picked up the one page menu and pretended to study it.
“No, I've never been here before,” Sway said truthfully, getting her eyes again. “But lobster is always delicious. I'm just going with the odds.”
She was far more mellow once they had been seated then she had been when he'd picked her up. The wine only helped things along in that department. She did order the lobster, as did he. They ate and talked leisurely, about the band, Miles, house-hunting, and her books.
Sway had advised the server to refill her glass as often as she wanted, but he limited himself to only the two glasses, wanting to keep his head and not wanting to have to call a car to take them both home.
The sun set all the way and instead of the river being cast in darkness, a string of lanterns were lit that reflected along the water line. The small candles on their table seemed to grow brighter as the night darkened outside and very subtly, they both moved closer to each other in the booth until their thighs were touching and Sway had one arm draped across her lower back.
“This weekend I want to take you to my grandparents. But you'll have to get someone to watch Clive, because we're staying for the whole weekend.”
“Oh really?” she asked, and her eyes shone in the candlelight. She liked that idea. A lot.
“Gran is turning eight-five. There's supposed to be a shindig. You'll get to meet the whole family.”
“Even your parents?”
Sway felt a muscle in his jaw twitch, but he smiled past it. “Yeah, if they come. But mostly I can't wait to show you around the farm.”
She held his eyes as she asked, “You don't think it's kind of early to be meeting the family?”
His eyes trailed over her face, his hand behind her coming up to catch a curl and wrap it around a finger. “Maybe,” he answered truthfully. “If it's too big of step right now, we can wait. I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”
Her eyes softened and she leaned into him fractionally. “I would love to go.”
“Good.” Sway tugged on the curl and then placed a lingering kiss on her wine stained lips. “Tell me something about you I don't know yet,” he murmured in her ear, placing soft kisses along her hairline.
“Hm,” she said, taking a sip of her wine and setting it down. “I was almost an Equine Veterinarian.”
Sway felt his eyebrows go up. She shot him a smile and let out a laugh.
“Don't look so s
hocked. I was this close.”
“What changed your mind?”
She sighed, picking up her wine glass again and contemplated the view outside with secretive reflection. “My mom died.” Sway felt a jolt travel through him and he willed himself to hold perfectly still as she took a deep breath and went on, “She came from a very wealthy family. Spoiled brats, the lot of them. And she left me everything.” Ryan turned to look at Sway. He didn't see the tell-tale signs of grief or misery that talking about losing a parent would normally convey. She was just being honest. Whatever emotions that had come along with her mother's death and already been dealt with. Sway was struck again by Ryan's candor. Secretive to the point of obsession, but when she decided to open up, it was all or nothing.
“I suddenly found myself in the middle of a family drama that I had nothing to do with. So I quit school and moved up here.”
“The drama didn't follow?”
Ryan shrugged. “That's the thing with spoiled children, they're incredibly lazy. I keep my life private and my number unlisted. They mostly leave me alone.”
Sway was starting to put together some of the more random details about Ryan. Things made sense. Her pen name, her lack of family photos, her unaffected perception of his fame and profession.
“So you're independently wealthy,” he said rather than asked.
She let out a small laugh. “I should think it was obvious. I'm not that good of a writer.”
Sway laughed with her then, enjoying the connection that had strengthened with her willingness to open up to him some more.
“You are a mystery, Ryan Zacherson,” he said, noticing her cringe with the use of her full name. “And I'm enjoying every second if it.”
The evening progressed just as Sway had planned. They took a walk outside the restaurant on a path that led them closer to the river. A chill in the late spring air allowed him to give her his suit jacket and he stole a kiss as he draped it over her shoulders.
“You're the most beautiful woman in the world,” he said, holding the lapels of the jacket and keeping her close to him.
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