by Sophie Stern
Sort of.
My meeting with Brandon this morning was a bit strange, a bit unusual. It wasn’t awkward. Not by any means. It was, however, a little familiar. It was a little comfortable. Was he more direct with me than he usually is?
I don’t know why I like Brandon so much or why I feel so good around him. If it was any shifter but me, I’d be saying it’s because we’re mates, but that’s not for me. I don’t get another happy ending. Hell, I didn’t even really get a first one.
Oh, Chris was amazing.
Incredible.
Fantastic.
We knew from the time we were little tiger cubs that we were meant to be together. It was obvious. When he mated me, it was like the world was whole. It was like everything was as it was meant to be.
And then he was gone and I was alone.
I’ve been alone for so long now that sometimes, I forget what it felt like to be with someone. Sometimes, I forget what it felt like to have another person by my side. I forgot what it felt like to have someone who loved me for me, who was always there for me, who always took my word for what it was: the truth.
Sometimes I forget, but sometimes, like this morning, I remember.
And I desperately miss it.
I don’t know if Brandon thinks he’s my mate. I sure as hell think he’s mine, but that wouldn’t be fair to him if it were true. It must be my imagination. The reality is that I’m a broken woman.
I’m used up.
I’m damaged.
He deserves someone sweet, someone innocent.
He deserves someone who doesn’t carry the weight of the world on her shoulders.
“Becca?” Jemma’s voice breaks me from my thoughts. She’s standing in front of the desk with two books and a huge smile on her face.
“Jemma! Did you find something good today?”
“Yes, I did.” She places the books on the counter and I ring up her order. Jemma’s mother lets her come over here on her own and I don’t mind. Jemma is nine now and her mom wants her to start learning responsibility. Coming to the store on her own, albeit under my supervision, is a good starting point.
“Oh, these are good ones,” I admire her choices, and Jemma beams.
“I’ve read them already,” she confesses. “I got them at the library last month, but now I get my own copies, and that’s just even better.”
“I completely agree. There’s something special about having your own copy of a book, isn’t there?”
Jemma nods.
“Three dollars even,” I tell her, and Jemma carefully counts her money and hands me three wrinkled one-dollar bills. I place her books in a bag and give her a receipt. Jemma giggles and smiles, then turns to head out the door. “Have a great day,” I tell her, and she just laughs and laughs as she heads across the street to meet her mom.
I watch her go and my heart stings for just a second as I wonder if I’m ever going to have a child. Chris and I wanted a baby. We wanted lots of babies. We wanted to have lots and lots and lots of little cubs running around. We wanted a whole lot of tiger babies and we were even trying for one when he died.
But then he was gone.
And I didn’t have a baby.
Didn’t have a husband.
Didn’t have anyone.
When I met Dana, it was like I finally had someone to keep me grounded. I finally had someone who could help me through the darkness, who could pull me through. I finally found someone who was willing to just be there for me and it was honestly just fantastic.
So, so fantastic.
And I couldn’t be happier for my friend. I couldn’t be happier that she’s found her mate, that she’s found someone who makes her happy, who makes her smile.
I couldn’t be happier.
Thinking of Dana puts a smile on my face as my next customer comes in. I should call her later and ask for her advice about Brandon, but I don’t want to bother her. Besides, she’s busy helping her husband with his restaurant and growing their own little cub. Yep, my best friend is going to have a baby.
She’s going to be a mommy.
Life is good.
But I still don’t know what to make for dinner.
Chapter 4
Brandon
Most of my day is spent in meetings. As the pack Alpha, I’m responsible for much of what happens around town. Essentially, I play the role of both mayor and protector. I control the town. I’m the one in charge.
And I’m exhausted.
Constantly.
It’s not that I don’t know how to delegate. I do, and I do it often. There’s something about facing the world alone, though, that’s starting to get to me. Maybe it’s because I finally met my mate. Maybe it’s because I finally found Rebecca.
By the time lunch rolls around, I’m worn out and anxious. I’m ready for a good meal, ready for some fun. I’m ready to get out of my head a little bit. I’m ready to shift and run and play, and I know just the wolf to go with me.
I head out of my office and go over to Tony’s. My buddy’s restaurant is one of the best in town. I eat here almost daily and I know the bloke doesn’t ever charge me full price. I just make up for it by tipping his waitresses extra well.
“Brandon!” One of the waitresses smiles when she sees me. “Welcome!”
“Thanks, Leslie. Is Tony around?”
Leslie twirls a piece of her blonde hair and nods. She’s a beautiful girl. She’s a wolf, too. We went on a few dates long ago, but there just wasn’t a spark between us. We both knew it, but somehow, that didn’t make turning her down any easier. Part of me wonders if Leslie still has some “hope” that I’ll pick her for the Alpha’s Mate.
Sadly, fate has already chosen me a partner, and she’s perfect.
I’ll never look twice at another woman again.
Even if I have to spend the rest of my life waiting for Rebecca to realize that I’m the one for her, that’s fine. Even if I have to spend the rest of my life waiting for her, loving her from afar, and just being there for her, I will.
I’ll do anything for her.
“He’s in his office,” Leslie says. “He had a meeting, but he should be done by now. Lunch rush is about to begin, so he’ll be in back. You know how Tony is.”
Yeah.
I know exactly how Tony is.
I know my workaholic, big-hearted friend is going to be in the back of the restaurant working on making sure every one of his plates looks perfect. I know he’s going to be making sure each plate looks incredible.
“Thanks,” I head back to the office before Leslie has a chance to ask me anything or to start flirting. She really is sweet and I hope she finds a wolf who makes her happy. Hell, I hope everyone I know finds someone who makes them happy.
Happy wolves, mated wolves, make my life easier.
It’s tough to be in charge of a pack, but it’s hellish to be in charge of a pack of horny, uncontrollable wolves who fight and bicker constantly. Having mated wolves is much nicer. It makes for a much calmer, quieter town.
If there’s one thing I like, it’s a quiet town.
I make my way through my friend’s restaurant. It’s a comfortable, cozy little place. Tony poured his heart and soul into this restaurant when he opened it and he continues to pour his heart and soul into it every day. After Tony and Dana mated, he let her add even more personalized touches to the place. The restaurant was sweet before, but it’s absolutely perfect now.
Dana came up with some great ideas when she and Tony got married. She’s been wonderful at helping the customers get more interactive. In fact, the restaurant now boasts artwork that’s been designed solely by the customers. In between canvas paintings different shifters have done, she’s hung pictures of Tony with different patrons.
The restaurant is sweet, and Tony is happy.
That makes me happy.
“Brandon,” Adam says when I barge into the office without knocking. “What brings you here?”
“Came to see Tony.�
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“Present,” Tony raises his hand but doesn’t turn around. He’s staring at something on his computer. It looks like order forms.
“Good,” Adam says. “Maybe you can get him out of this damn office. I don’t care if he doesn’t want to cook today, but he can’t just sit up here looking at orders. He needs to do something. Anything. He needs to do literally anything at all and get out of this room. He’s going to go crazy if he doesn’t, Brandon.”
“Is that right?”
“Come on now,” Tony turns around and runs a hand through his short, dark hair. “It’s not my fault today has been so crazy.” He looks at me and lifts his hands helplessly. “One of my orders didn’t go through last week and I didn’t notice it. This means I’m short on a ton of product and I’m going to have a limited menu until I receive my order. The fastest they can get everything here is Tuesday.”
“So you’ll have a limited menu for a couple of days,” I shrug. “That’s fine. Your regular customers will understand and any visitors won’t care.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell him,” Adam says, holding up his hands. “But he doesn’t listen to me.”
“It’s not that I don’t listen to you,” Tony says. “It’s just that I want everything to be perfect,” he whines.
“Why are you whining?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.
“Dana is pregnant,” Adam says.
“Dude!”
Adam just shrugs. “He’s going to find out sooner or later, man. No use keeping it a secret.” He turns back to me. “Her morning sickness is pretty bad and she gets it at night, so she’s up all night, which means Tony is up all night, which means Tony is cranky.”
“Congratulations, Tony,” I grin at my friend, happy for him. “Couldn’t be happier for you.”
“Thanks,” Tony smiles weakly, but the man looks tired, and I’ve got an idea.
“Can you spare Tony for an hour or two?” I ask Adam.
“Absolutely. You two gonna go run?”
“I think we should.”
“No way,” Tony says. “I’m much too tired. Exhausted, even. No shifter has ever been as tired in the history of the universe as I am at this moment.”
“Come shift with me or I’ll kick your ass out of the pack,” I say.
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
Tony glares at me for what feels like an eternity, but as the Alpha, I basically get whatever I want.
If only Rebecca realized that.
“Fine,” he grits out. “But only one hour. Not a minute more.”
Chapter 5
Rebecca
There’s something amazing about shifting and running. There’s something so freeing about it. I shouldn’t spend my lunch hour in the woods, but I can’t help myself. I need this shift. It’s been forever since I allowed myself this small pleasure. It’s been a lifetime.
I switch the sign on the door to read “Closed” and lock the store. Then I head to the edge of the forest. It’s a short walk from the bookstore. I’m lucky to live in a place now with so many open fields and wooded areas. When I lived in the big city, things were different. I was so busy working that even when I had time to shift, I didn’t have time to go far, and areas like this were few and far between.
Now I feel like I can actually go out. I feel like I can take an hour to myself and just go be me.
I still don’t know what the hell I’m going to make for dinner.
Fuck.
I strip out of my clothes and fold them up neatly. Then I place them next to a tree, along with my shoes and my keys. I’m not worried that someone will find my things and steal them. That doesn’t really happen in Wolfe City. Because almost everyone in town is a shifter, there’s a certain code of honor that comes with it.
If you see someone’s clothes, leave them alone. Chances are the person has shifted and is running around somewhere relaxing. It would be a pity if they came back and their stuff was gone.
That’s happened once in Wolfe City. It was shortly after my arrival. A couple of out-of-towners were visiting a relative and stayed at the motel. One afternoon, they noticed some clothes and keys next to a fencepost and “kindly” took the clothes to the police station in case someone had “lost” them.
The police deputies told me the story one day while we were all hanging out at Tony’s. They had to try so hard to keep a straight face while the couple explained that some poor soul had forgotten his folded clothing. Later, when Tom Barkley, the owner of the aforementioned clothes, came stalking butt-naked into town, declaring that he’d been robbed, the cops had a field day.
As far as I know, that’s the only time something like that has ever happened, and for good reason: the wolves in this town are excellent. It’s not only the wolves who are good. The diner, for example, is run by a group of rowdy bears. Still, most of citizens of Wolfe City are, in fact, wolves, and they treat each other like a family.
Even though I’m a tiger, I really feel like they’ve accepted me into the group, and I love that.
I love this place.
And I don’t ever want to leave.
I step lightly into the woods. Twigs and brush crunch beneath my feet, but I ignore it. The only thing I need right now is to keep moving. The only thing I need is to be myself. I just need to relax. I just need to feel. I just need to be free.
I close my eyes and focus for a minute. Some shifters are better than me. They can shift one part of their body. Wolves are especially good at this. They can shift just their teeth or just their hand or just their head.
Me?
I’m a tiger.
I’m all tiger.
I’m either a tiger or a girl and there’s really nowhere in between for me.
So when I shift, I shift completely. I close my eyes, I focus, and then I feel. And suddenly, I feel the dirt beneath my paws. My hands are gone, replaced with beautiful, soft paws, and I feel whole.
I breathe a sigh of relief as I finish changing. Shifting doesn’t hurt. It’s not supposed to. It’s supposed to be as natural as anything else we do normally because shifting is a part of who we are at our very cores.
It’s my nature.
It’s me.
And then I run.
I run through the forest and forget about the fact that I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life.
I run through the forest and forget about the fact that my husband is dead.
I run through the forest and forget about the fact that no one knows how lonely I really feel inside.
I run through the forest and forget about the fact that Brandon is the most wonderful man I’ve met in a very, very long time.
I run through the forest and forget about the fact that I have no idea what I’m going to make for dinner.
And then I stop.
I’m at the top of a little cliff overlooking a swimming hole with a small waterfall. It’s only about 20 feet down. If I jumped off the cliff, I’d be fine. The water looks deep: really deep. Although the crystal-clear liquid is beautiful, it’s not what has my attention.
No, what has my attention is the fact that there are two male wolves swimming in the water, splashing around. There are two wolves and one of them calls to my heart.
One of them is Brandon.
I just know it.
I’ve never seen him in wolf form, but something about the way this creature is moving tells me that it’s him. He looks so different from the way he looks as a man, but in many ways, his features are similar.
He seems strong, determined.
Playful.
I lie down on the top of the cliff and peer over it, resting my paws on the ledge. I’m being very quiet, almost completely silent. Unless they look up for me, they won’t smell me or notice me.
I’m good at being sneaky.
After a few minutes, the wolves both shift back into human form. Sure enough, one of them is Brandon. I knew it! Suddenly, I feel justified. I don’
t shift into my human form, though. I’m not ready for that. No, I want to stay in my tiger form with my super-sensitive hearing so I can eavesdrop on this obviously private conversation.
It’s completely none of my business, but something makes me want to get to know Brandon a little bit more. Something makes me want to get to know him a little bit. Something makes me want to know exactly what he’s going to say to Tony, so I listen.
“Thanks for coming out with me,” Brandon says. He’s treading water in the center of the swimming hole. Tony dives under the water for a second, but then comes back up and shakes his head, splashing water all over Brandon, who ignores the gesture.
“It’s been a long time since we were here,” Tony says. “We used to spend so much time here as kids. Man, those were some good summers. Some good adventures.”
“The best,” Brandon agrees, and I picture him as a little boy, coming to this place with his friends. What must he have been like? He’s the son of an Alpha, if I remember correctly. His father was the Alpha before him and when Brandon has a child, that son or daughter will lead the pack when he gets too old.
It’s a wolf’s way.
“I needed this,” Brandon says. “It’s been a long week.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Want to listen?”
“Always,” Tony says.
“I’m in love with Rebecca,” he says, and instantly, I shift back into human form. I’m so shocked that I shift. That hasn’t happened to me in years. He’s in love with me? That’s quite the declaration, and to his best friend.
He’s in love with me.
My heart simultaneously soars and cracks.
I know that if I’m very, very honest, I’m in love with him, too. I’m in love with him and I don’t want to be because there’s a part of me that feels like I already had my shot. I already had a chance at love. I loved Chris.
I loved that tiger with my whole heart and he just up and died. He died and he left me all alone and now I’ve met Brandon and I don’t think I deserve him.
I know I don’t deserve him.
Brandon is the kind of guy most girls would kill to be with. He’s the kind of guy any girl should fall over backwards to be with. He’s kind. He’s a good leader. He’ll make a good father someday. He’s incredible.