Journeys - SF10

by Meagher, Susan X

  "I'd like to be like your aunt," Jamie decided. "Actually, I'd like to be like any of your relatives. Even Duffy is worth emulating!"

  The restaurant was only about seven blocks from the church, and the entire group walked down 24th Street together. The crowd was smaller than usual, with just the happy couple, their children, Moira, and Catherine in attendance. Jamie was pushing Caitlin's stroller, and her mother was walking alongside her, her hand loosely wrapped around her daughter's arm. Just in front of them, Ryan was holding her Aunt Moira's hand, the two women chatting companionably during the entire trip. Ryan stood a good foot taller than the diminutive woman, and they did not share a single common feature--hair color, texture, and wave all strikingly dissimilar. Moira's eyes were a pale green, nothing like the startling cornflower blue with which Ryan had been blessed. Moira's bone structure was slight and delicate, two words that had never been uttered about Ryan. Still, there was something about the pair that would make even a stranger assume they were mother and daughter. Ryan had speculated that part of the reason she felt so close to her aunt was because the woman bore such a striking resemblance to her mother, but Jamie thought it went deeper than that. She had a sense that this woman embodied some of Fionnuala's personality in a way that Maeve did not. Moira seemed to have a fire to her that the placid Maeve did not possess, and Jamie guessed that Ryan's mother might have shared that trait-especially since Ryan surely had more than her share of spark in her own determined personae.

  Whatever the reasons, it was clear that Ryan was very fond of the woman beside her, and that fact alone was enough for Jamie to make a little room in her heart to gladly welcome in yet another member of her family of choice.

  "Honey, are you sure you don't want to go to the Dubliner with your father and all of the guys?" Jamie asked, once they were snug in bed.

  "No," Ryan said thoughtfully. "I want to be well rested for tomorrow. It's gonna be a long day, and I don't want to have a hangover," she admitted.

  "I've never seen your father drink more than one beer," Jamie laughed. "Surely he won't have a hangover tomorrow!"

  "No, he won't," Ryan agreed. "But all of the cousins will be there, and at some point one of them would challenge me to some sort of drinking game, and I'd give in, and…well, you know the rest."

  "Honey, you don't even like to drink much. Why would you do that?"

  Ryan shrugged and said, "It's part of being a member of the clan, love. Group dynamics, I guess you'd call it. I don't always use my brain when I'm around the cousins."

  "Then I'm glad you didn't go. I want you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed tomorrow. You're going to look so pretty in your new clothes…I'd hate to see bloodshot eyes and a greenish pallor to that pretty face."

  "It'll be fun to be the only one in the crowd who feels just ducky," Ryan smiled. "Nine hours of cuddling by my best girl, and I'll be on top of the world."

  "You're on, love. I'll race you to sleep," she teased, a race that Ryan, for a change, won hands down.

  "Morning, cuddle bear," Jamie murmured into her pillow early on Saturday morning. Ryan was wrapped around her so tightly that she was quite sure they had finally reached the limits of human connectedness.

  "Hi," a wide-awake voice replied. "I'm gonna go for a run. You can stay in bed if you want." Ryan started to disentangle, but her partner reached behind her and placed a restraining hand on her hip.

  "Want me to go with you?"

  "No. I need a little time to myself today." There was a long moment of silence, and then Ryan added, "I need to talk to my mom for a while."

  Jamie sighed and rolled onto her back, regarding her partner with gentle care. "I know today is going to be hard for you. Do you want to talk about it at all?"

  Ryan's dark head shook. "No. I'm fine, Jamie. I just want to feel Mama's presence this morning. I do that best when I run."

  "Okay, Ryan. I'll wait for you to have breakfast."

  "Good deal. I'll try not to stay out too long."

  "You stay as long as you need to. We're not in any rush."

  Ryan started to roll out of bed, but she impulsively drew her partner into another hug and placed several kisses on her exposed neck. "Thanks for understanding," she whispered, then rolled away and hit the floor, all in one smooth move.

  Ryan managed to stay close to home, satisfying herself with running up and down the hills of her immediate neighborhood. She had covered about five miles and had just passed her Aunt Maeve's house when a familiar voice said, "How about slowing down a bit and giving your aunt a chance to catch up?"

  Turning to greet Moira with a grin, Ryan ran back to the house and waited for her to come down the stairs, pausing to wipe her sweaty face with the hem of her T-shirt. "This is quite the coincidence, eh?" Moira asked.

  "Not really," Ryan chuckled. "This is the fourth time I've been by this morning. I was hoping you'd come out for your usual walk."

  With an exasperated look Maeve asked, "Why didn't you knock, Ryan? You know we've been up for a while. My poor sister is so nervous, I don't think she slept a wink!"

  "I don't know," Ryan said, gazing at the street with an adolescent expression on her face.

  "Doesn't matter," Moira assured her, taking her hand. "I've got you now."

  "It's kinda wet," Ryan said, looking pointedly at her hand.

  "Oh, please! Like a little sweat would bother me? I've changed a few dozen of your diapers, Siobhan," she said with a big smile, switching back and forth between her niece's names as she often did. "Sweat is a definite improvement!" They walked along the quiet street, their footfalls the only sound. "How are you feeling about today, sweetheart? I haven't really had the opportunity to talk to you about the whole thing."

  "I'm okay," Ryan said, pausing just a second to reflect on her mood. They merged their strides into a brisk pace, Moira quite used to an invigorating walk every morning. "Is it okay if I tell you what's on my mind?" Ryan asked. "I've got a lot of things floating around upstairs that I can't get comfortable with."

  "Of course," Moira said, squeezing her hand. "Tell me whatever you want to share."

  Ryan nodded and took a breath, her thoughts organized after her run. "The biggest part of me wants both Da and Aunt Maeve to be loved, and to have them find that with each other is absolutely fantastic. But that's the 23…no…24-year-old that feels that way. There's a younger part that doesn't want anybody…not even my beloved aunt…to take my mother's place. And even though I know Aunt Maeve doesn't want to do that…it's a bit unavoidable."

  "I can see that," Moira said. "It's understandable that would be hard to get used to."

  "I think it will be a little easier because they'll be living in Maeve's house," Ryan said thoughtfully. "On the other hand, I don't want Da to move out. That's really going to be hard for me," she admitted. "I know that sounds silly, since he's going to be two blocks away, and I only live here on weekends…but it really bothers me."

  Seemingly switching topics completely, Moira asked, "I assume you know about Aisling's boyfriend?"

  "Uh…yeah. She's told me all about him," Ryan agreed, wondering why they were discussing her cousin at this point.

  "I just bet she has," Moira laughed. "And don't you give me that look, Ryan, I know you two tell each other everything."

  "Well, she is my best friend," Ryan reminded her. "Besides, Jamie, that is."

  "Well, he's a perfectly lovely young man. John Houlihan. She's brought him to the house several times when she comes home from school." Moira turned to her niece and gave her a deceptively innocent look. "I'd like to crush his head with a brick!"

  "What!" Ryan cried, stunned at this uncharacteristically violent wish.

  "He looks at her with those big doe eyes, Ryan. He honestly looks like he'd like to have her for tea! Every time he touches her, I want to go over and slap him silly! 'Get your hands off my baby!' I want to cry, but of course, I don't. I behave myself very well, thank you. I offer the man a good meal, and polite conversation, but I'm
secretly plotting his demise," she added, a fiendishly satisfied look on her face.

  Ryan had been chuckling through this whole revelation, and by the time her aunt was finished, she was laughing out loud. "I can just see you bumping off Aisling's first serious boyfriend, Aunt Moira. That's priceless!"

  "Her father's worse than I am," Moira assured her. "The first time we met him, he leaned over to me as they came up the walk and said, 'I think I saw him on the telly. I think he's an escapee from the county gaol.'"

  Ryan was laughing heartily by this time, and her aunt insisted, "I'm not pulling your leg, Ryan. Eamon calls him 'Beady Eyes' or 'Pasty Face'."

  "Since I've never known you to tell a story without a point, you might as well get to it," Ryan smiled.

  "It's a simple point," Moira assured her. "We all have roles for the people we love. Your father and your aunt are both changing their role, and it's going to take some time for you to get used to it. Just like Eamon and I have to. Aisling isn't our baby any longer. She's a 24-year-old woman who has probably been thoroughly kissed a time or two." She gave Ryan a gentle elbow to the ribs and said, "Agree with me, darlin'."

  "Yes, Aunt Moira. Aisling has been kissed a time or two. I don't think she enjoyed it, though," she lied outrageously.

  "Good girl! Now, we've all got some adjusting to do, but we can do it, because we all love each other. This is truly the best thing that could have happened, Ryan. And just for the record, I am 100% certain that your mother would give her wholehearted approval. I actually think she'd be disappointed in your father for going so long without love in his life." She turned to Ryan and said, "I know she'd want him to share his love, darlin', and what better person to share it with than her beloved sister? This is truly a time for celebration, Ryan. Let's do our best to put our mixed feelings aside and show them how happy we are for them."

  "I will," Ryan said, sniffing as she brushed a tear away. "I will."

  They walked for a while longer, and by the time they passed by the O'Flaherty house they had discussed every little detail about the wedding. When Moira told Ryan all of the elements of Maeve's costume, Ryan had an idea and dashed into the house to fetch something, calling out, "Be back soon," when Jamie stuck her head out of the bathroom, fresh from her shower.

  After changing into a dry T-shirt, she escorted Moira back to Maeve's house. Her aunt was a nervous wreck, just as Moira had described. "Oh, Ryan! If I had any idea this little wedding would take this much out of me, I swear I'd just live in sin!"

  "Over my dead body!" Ryan decreed, laughing softly at her aunt's obvious distress. "My poor father would never recover from the mere suggestion! No, Aunt Maeve, you're in too deep now. Just try to relax, and in a few hours it will all be over."

  "That's what they told me when I gave birth to Michael," she scoffed. "30 hours later I was begging for a pistol!"

  "This will definitely be over in a few hours," Ryan assured her. "Besides, you've done this before. Wasn't it scarier the first time around?"

  Maeve shared a look with her sister. "Oh, the innocence of youth," she smiled. "No, dear, it was not scarier the first time. When you're young, you don't have enough sense to know how hard it is to be married. You just assume that everything will turn out fine."

  "Well, call me innocent, but I know that everything will turn out just fine. I've been living with your groom for 24 years now, and I can assure you that he's one of the easiest people in the world to get along with. He's neat, clean, doesn't drink to excess, clearly doesn't chase other women, and he can cook! How many men have that many good traits?"

  Maeve gave her niece a hug and said, "You're right, of course. I'm just being silly. I think I'll feel better when I can start doing something. It's too early to get dressed."

  "How about a nice long bubble bath?" Ryan suggested. "Put on some good music, light some candles, and relax in the tub. Jamie has convinced me of the relaxing properties of a good soak, and if I can do it, so can you."

  "Ooo, that does sound nice, but I don't have many candles," she advised.

  "You will when my father moves in," Ryan informed her. "We've got enough to provide light for the whole neighborhood during a power outage. I'll have Jamie bring some over."

  "Oh, don't go to so much bother," Maeve insisted.

  "No bother. I think we women should stick together today, anyway. I think I'll have Jamie bring our clothes over, and we can get dressed here. Can you feed us?"

  "Of course! I'll start breakfast, love. That will give me something to do!"

  "All part of my plan," Ryan muttered to herself as she went to call her partner.

  After Jamie arranged an idyllic setting, Maeve soaked for a solid hour, and her mood was much improved when she emerged from the tub. "I honestly do feel calmer," she decided. Jamie had insisted on giving her a spa-like experience, and she set about removing the mud masque she had applied before the bath. She was about to help Maeve with her makeup when Catherine arrived, carrying Maeve's wedding suit and a selection of jewelry that she thought would provide the proper accent. She was long-skilled in the artful application of make-up, and she took over from her daughter.

  While Ryan showered, Jamie got all of their things organized, and when Ryan emerged she offered to do her hair. Ryan's hair had grown out since her summer cut and was now much closer to her original length. Jamie decided that she needed a little something special today, so she parted it off center and created two long braids, which she secured at the back of her head with bobby pins. "I don't think I have any hair clips here," she commented to the crowd. "I'll have to run home and get something."

  Catherine looked over and said, "I brought a little something for Ryan's hair. Look in the kitchen."

  Jamie found a sprig of tiny sterling silver tea roses woven around a simple silver hair clip, and she shook her head at the thoroughness of her mother's planning. If she ever needed a job, she'd be a natural as a wedding planner, she mused.

  Ryan looked lovely with the delicate display of roses in her hair, and she even allowed Jamie to apply a bit of makeup to her normally cosmetic-free face. Then the tall woman sat on the bed and watched Jamie and Maeve's transformations. Jamie was finished first, and Ryan wished she could nibble all of the soft pink lipstick off her luscious lips, but she didn't think Jamie's careful application should be ruined this early in the day. There's always time for that at the reception, she decided.

  Catherine did an excellent job making Maeve look absolutely lovely for her big day. The makeup she applied was understated and very tasteful, just perfect for a morning wedding. They decided that Maeve should not put her suit on until she was ready to walk out the door, but Catherine wanted to decide on jewelry. Everyone gathered around and looked at the selection she had brought. Moira and Jamie were in favor of a sterling silver necklace with a matching bracelet, but Maeve decided that she wanted to wear her one piece of nice jewelry. "I have a pearl necklace that was my grandmother's," she said. She pulled it out of its case, and everyone agreed that it was just perfect…a single strand of cultured pearls that would hang down just to the second button of her jacket.

  "I thought pearls would be nice," Catherine agreed and pointed out a lovely pair of pearl earrings in a setting of tiny diamonds.

  "I have something you might fancy, Aunt Maeve," Ryan said, pulling out a small box lined with tissue paper.

  "Oh, Ryan," Maeve said, looking like she was on the verge of tears. In the blink of an eye, all of the other women left the room, allowing Maeve and Ryan a moment alone. "Are you sure, sweetheart?" the older woman asked.

  "Of course I'm sure," she said as she bent over to fasten the tear-shaped pearls onto her aunt's ears. "You got the necklace, Mama got the earrings. I think the set should be reunited on your wedding day."

  Maeve wrapped her niece in a tender hug, holding on for a long time. "It's nice to have something of Fi's with me," she whispered. "Besides her Marty, that is," she added with a small laugh. She looked up at Ryan with a hint
of doubt in her green eyes and asked, "Are we doing the right thing?"

  "Yes," Ryan said, her voice strong and full of conviction. "You are most definitely doing the right thing. You're going to make my father a very happy man, Aunt Maeve, and I know he'll make you happy, too. This is absolutely as it should be." Ryan placed a tender kiss on her aunt's cheek and said, "You know, I'm a little afraid of being too greedy today. I'm going to walk Da down the aisle and be your attendant. Don't you think maybe we should share the wealth?"

  The older woman blinked up at her and asked, "What do you mean?"

  "I think Aunt Moira should stand up for you, " she said decisively. "I think it would mean a lot to her."

  Maeve gave her niece yet another hug, and whispered, "That would mean a lot…to both of us. Thank you, Ryan. Thank you for being so thoughtful."

  "Just trying to be fair, Aunt Maeve," she assured her.

  The older woman sniffed a little, smiling when Ryan handed her a tissue. "Sweetheart, do you still want to refer to me as your aunt?"

  Ryan smiled back and said, "I found myself referring to you and Da as my parents the other day," she admitted. "It sounded right…strange, but right."

  Maeve gave her another fierce hug, on the verge of losing the war with her composure. "I'd be proud to call you my daughter," she sniffed, "and I'm honored that you feel comfortable calling your father and me your parents. But what about just me? You could drop the 'aunt' and call me Maeve," she suggested.

  Ryan nodded, smiling the whole time. "I'll give it a try," she agreed. "It will take a while, and I might not do it in private, but it would be nice not to have to explain why I call my father's wife 'Aunt Maeve'."

  "I'm sure we're not the oddest blended family in the area, love. This is San Francisco, you know."

  "Indeed it is, and you're going to be the loveliest bride in the whole city. Now let's get you dressed and prove it!"

  Maeve was just slipping into her jacket when Annie and Caitlin showed up, and befitting her years of experience with toddlers, Maeve took the jacket right off and went out to greet the pair in her robe. After receiving a sloppy kiss, she went back into her room and got dressed, this time with Moira's assistance.