Tell Me You Want Me

by Amelia James

  "Sure." It couldn't hurt to let her sit by him, could it?

  She ordered two new beers.

  Austin thanked her and took a drink. Much better. Maybe he did need some company. He relaxed a bit. "I'm Austin Sinclair."

  "I know."

  "And you are?"

  "Available."

  He forced a smile. Normally a come-on like that would make him hard as a rock, but tonight he was uncomfortable for a different reason. More beer.

  Her gaze roamed his body. "My name is Ava."

  "Pleasure to meet you, Ava."

  "What are you doing here all alone, Austin?"

  "I needed a drink." Whenever he went to a bar alone, he never went home alone—but again, tonight was different. "I had a rough night."

  "Already?"

  "Yeah." He chuckled. "You don't want to know."

  "Hmm... I think I can fix that."

  A sexy woman like her could quickly make a man forget all his troubles, probably forget his own name too. Ava's hand stroked his arm and he pictured those long fingers wrapped around his cock. That made him hard.

  She leaned closer, giving him a tempting look down her blouse. Gorgeous breasts, long legs, luscious lips—everything he looked for in a woman—his for the taking. So why didn't he just take it?

  "I should get going." He tried to stand up, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him close.

  "So soon? I was hoping to spend some more time with you, Austin."

  Oh, what the hell. He couldn't let a good beer go to waste.

  She moved closer to him when he sat back down, resting a hand on his thigh. He should have moved away from her, but he didn't. Her heat hit him, and she smelled so good, like a hot soapy shower after sex.

  "So tell me...." Ava's hand moved up his thigh. "How would you like to spend the rest of your night?"

  With Janie. That thought flashed into his mind before anything else could, leaving him unable to speak. "Um...."

  Her knees parted, sending her skirt scooting up her bare thighs. Austin looked down and watched his own hand touch her skin, and just like that, he forgot all about Janie.

  "I'd like to spend the night with you," she purred.

  "That's what I figured."

  "Interested?"

  "Hell yes." Shit! Did he say that out loud? "I mean...." Yes, he was interested. Any sane man would be. Ava tempted him, no doubt about that, but his Janie.... Am I insane?

  She waited, but not for long. "Come back to my place." She leaned into his body and kissed him hard. Her tongue slid against his lips and parted them.

  Before Austin could reply, he pushed her away. "I can't."

  "Why not?"

  He wouldn't cheat on Janie. Another reason pestered him—lots of other reasons. "I gotta take care of something first."

  "All right." She programmed her name and phone number into his cell phone. "Call me when you want me." She blew him a kiss and left.

  Oh, he wanted her. For a second, he entertained the temptation to take her to the nearest dark corner and show her exactly how much he wanted her, but when he closed his eyes, it was Janie's face he saw, Janie's body he touched.

  Austin stuck his phone in his pocket and walked out of the bar. Damn it. What is wrong with me?

  Janie was the most fascinating girl he'd ever met. He couldn't stop thinking about her, couldn't stop wanting her, but as soon as a beautiful stranger in a bar kissed him, he nearly threw away everything he had with Janie for a night of meaningless sex. Maybe his father was right. Maybe Austin would never be happy with just one woman. He would get bored eventually—he always did.

  He would end up hurting Janie. What had happened in the bar tonight proved it. He cared about Janie—he really did—but he cared about her too much to see her get hurt.

  Don't hurt a woman you love.... The words his mother had said to him, on that terrible night when his father left, echoed in his head. Only ten years old, and he'd decided that he'd never fall in love. The one time he had, he'd barely survived. Love caused too much pain.

  He stood at the street corner and waited for the light to change, knowing Janie's apartment building stood three blocks away. He took a determined right turn.

  Only one thing I can do. It was going to kill him, but he had to do it.

  He knocked on the door, hoping to God Sara wasn't home. When Janie opened the door and yawned, he realized he'd woken her up. "Sorry. I didn't know how late it was."

  "Austin." Jane blinked and rubbed her eyes. "Come in."

  He stepped inside but didn't sit down. He wouldn't be staying long.

  "How was dinner?"

  "Fine." He didn't want to re-live that. "Janie, I—"

  She wore a long baggy t-shirt and nothing else, but damn if she didn't look like sex on legs. Her nipples perked up under the thin cloth, and when she sat down, she crossed her legs, leaving very little to the imagination. Did she have any idea what she was doing to him? What is it again? Oh. Yeah.

  "Janie, I came over to tell you...." How could he do this? Just get it over with, Austin. "I can't see you anymore."

  "What?" She stared at him with wide eyes, fully awake now. "Why?"

  "I'm not—"

  Her pretty face crumpled. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears and her smile disappeared.

  God, how can I do this to her? He had to. He would hurt her even more if he didn't. "I'm not good enough for you, Janie."

  "Don't say that."

  "After dinner I went to McGinley's and I met a girl there."

  Jane sucked in a sharp breath.

  "Nothing happened... not much happened. She invited me to her place and when I said no, she gave me her phone number."

  "You said no?"

  He heard a note of hope in her voice, and it was gonna kill him to dash it, but he had to. "I don't cheat, Janie. I always break up with a girl before I go out with someone else." The hope faded from her eyes, and he forced himself to continue. "I'm just gonna end up breaking your heart. It's better to end it now before you get too attached."

  Her eyes narrowed. "Is that what you think?"

  "Yeah."

  "You think you can just cut me loose and go on your merry way." She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest.

  Damn, she covered up those pretty nipples. "It's not like that, I—"

  "So what is it like?"

  Oh shit, I've pissed her off good. "Will you let me finish?" Why was she mad at him? "I care about you too much to hurt you."

  "Ha! You have a funny way of showing it."

  What the hell? "I'm trying to do the right thing—"

  "No you're not. You're trying to do the easy thing."

  "Easy? You think this is easy?"

  "Oh, yeah. A new pretty face comes along and you manage to say no, but instead of trying to make it work with me—the one you 'care so much' about—you run away."

  "I cannot commit to one girl. I told you that. I'm just like my father."

  "That's just an excuse."

  "That's a fact."

  "Bullshit!"

  Austin took a step back and stared at her. He'd expected to deal with tears and pleading, but this? "I touched another woman tonight. I kissed her. Doesn't that prove that I'm a heartbreaker?"

  Jane clenched her teeth so hard Austin thought her jaw would break. "Yeah, you're the heartbreaker, but I'll be damned if I'll let you add me to your list of conquests."

  "I would never—"

  "Get out!" She stalked across the room, driving him toward the door.

  Austin backed up so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet. "Janie, wait—"

  "Get out!" She pushed him out the door and slammed it shut.

  That had not gone as planned. Austin shuffled out to the street and hailed a cab. He'd faced angry women before, but damn. His hands shook. Why was Janie so angry? He should never have told her he'd kissed Ava. That's my mistake. He sighed and fell back against the seat. He didn't want Janie to be angry with him, but he couldn't do an
ything about it now. It was over.

  The cab turned down his street and he stepped out. When he reached into his pocket for some money, he found his cell phone. He looked up Ava's phone number and felt nothing, not even a remote interest in her. He deleted it, knowing immediately that he'd done something right that night.

  Another name and number popped up: Brenda. He deleted that one too. Carrie—deleted. Gina—deleted. Hayley—deleted. He could have so many women. Why did he only want the one he couldn't have? Janie.... He saved her number. Jenna—deleted.

  He crawled into bed alone that night. Was his father right? Would he ever be happy? Or was Janie right? Was that just an excuse?

  He still didn't have any answers when his alarm went off in the morning.

  Chapter 15

  After she finished cursing Austin and throwing things at the front door, Jane went back to bed. Why am I so angry? He'd flirted with another woman, kissed her, put his hands on her body. That hurt, but when he just walked in and announced it was over, that was when she'd got pissed.

  He hadn't even tried to work things out with her. He'd just expected her to let him go.

  She couldn't let it end like this. She needed some control if she wanted to maintain her dignity.

  An hour later, she heard the front door open and shut. For a moment she held her breath, her foolish heart hoping Austin had come back, but when she heard keys land on the coffee table, she knew it was Sara. Jane thought about getting up and talking to her—she missed that—but she didn't want Sara to know what Austin had done to her. Not yet.

  She couldn't think of anyone else she could talk to, no one else she could trust. All alone in the dark, she curled up into a ball and pulled the blankets up to her chin, suddenly missing her dad. She didn't move, staring at the clock as the hours ticked by one minute at a time.

  Without even thinking, she picked up her cell phone and dialed. "Hi, Mom."

  "Jane? What time is it? Are you all right?"

  She tried to answer but could only sob.

  "What's wrong, Honey?"

  She took a deep breath, then another, struggling to find the words. "Austin broke up with me." Saying it felt like a knife through her heart, sharp and stabbing.

  "I'm so sorry. Why did he do it?"

  "He said he didn't want to hurt me." The knife twisted deeper.

  "Maybe it's for the best. Love can hurt."

  "He keeps telling me that, but I don't want to believe him. I try to tell him that love should be easy, but he doesn't want to believe me either."

  Her mother chuckled, and Jane wondered what was so funny. "Oh, Jane, you are just like your father."

  "What's wrong with that?"

  "Nothing. He was such an idealist, almost naïve. He believed that life was always wonderful and nothing bad would ever happen to us."

  "I'm not like that."

  "Where do you think you got the idea that love and life was supposed to be easy?"

  Jane shrugged, and then remembered that her mother couldn't see her. "From Dad?"

  "You and I have both been through some very hard things. You lost your father too young, and I lost my husband—but even before that, our life was hard. Your dad did his best not to let you know. Both of you chose to blissfully ignore life's difficulties and pretend everything was simple."

  What? If their life was so hard, did that mean...? "But I thought you and Dad were happy together."

  "We were, but we had to work at it. When we first got married, things were pretty tough, but we faced our problems together, and after a while life did get easier for us. It took a lot of effort to get there, though."

  "Hm." Jane hadn't realized that her parents had needed to work at their relationship. They made it look easy. Why couldn't it be like that for her? "But I want it to be easy now."

  She sobbed, not caring that she sounded like a whining child. The last few days had been such a struggle, and she just wanted to be done with it.

  "I know you do, Honey, but you're stronger than you think." Her mother chuckled again. "When I think of all the times you fought against me, I'm amazed at your determination."

  Did she have any left? Jane wiped her face on her blanket. She could barely gather the strength to speak. "I'm so tired, Mom."

  "Get some sleep. You'll be able to think better after you get some rest."

  "Okay."

  "I'm glad you called me, Jane."

  "Me too."

  "I love you."

  "Love you too, Mom."

  She turned off the phone, unable to talk anymore tonight. Maybe Austin had been right: ending it now might be easier than fighting to stay with him. Why did she bother? She enjoyed the fun he brought to her life, but was that enough? Had he given up because they no longer had fun?

  What had Jack said to her? Your inner strength draws him to you.

  If Austin wasn't strong enough to keep them together, then she would have to be strong enough for both of them. He couldn't just walk out of her life. Actually, she'd pushed him out, but that was beside the point. He had to know why she'd been mad, and the sooner she told him, the better. If he still wanted out, she would say goodbye forever, but if he wanted her back....

  It was a big risk, but she didn't have any other choice.

  ***

  "You look like hell."

  Austin grunted and struggled to open the refrigerator. "Where's the coffee?"

  "Not in there." Jack poured him a cup and put it on the table. "Rough night?"

  "Yeah." Austin slumped into a chair and sipped the hot coffee. Jack usually made good coffee, but it left a bitter taste in Austin's mouth this morning. "Yeah, it wasn't pretty."

  "Your dad?"

  "Uh-huh. And too much beer, hot girl at McGinley's.... Long story short, I broke up with Janie."

  Jack's mug overflowed, scalding his hand. "Damn it! Why the hell did you do that?"

  "I didn't want to hurt her."

  "You think breaking up with her didn't hurt?" He grabbed a towel and attacked the spilled coffee.

  Austin frowned. "No, it pissed her off."

  "So you dumped her for some girl you met at McGinley's?"

  "No. I turned the girl down. I ended it with Janie because I'm gonna break her heart if we stay together much longer."

  "You are such an idiot."

  "Thank you." Austin's coffee made it halfway to his lips. "Um... what?"

  "Jane was the best thing that ever happened to you. Did you even try to work things out?"

  He hadn't thought of that. "No."

  "Moron."

  "Hey, that's harsh."

  "I'm just getting started." Jack grabbed the coffee pot and dumped it down the sink. "She was good for you. Why did you have to go and ruin it?"

  "I did the right thing." Maybe if he said it out loud, he would believe it.

  "No. You didn't." Jack swiped Austin's mug.

  "I'm not done with that."

  "You were happy with her."

  "I'm happy with a lot of girls." But he hadn't known real happiness until he'd met Janie.

  "You didn't know happiness until you met Jane."

  How does Jack do that? "I know. I miss her already."

  "Good. Keep missing her."

  The pain he'd tried to hold off ripped through his heart. How could he make it stop hurting? He'd thought leaving Janie would do it, but now wondered if he'd made a terrible mistake. Being without her hurt much more than being with her. "I want her back."

  "I'm not surprised."

  "How do I get her back?"

  "I don't know. You could charm your way out of this with any other girl, but Jane can see right through your BS."

  "I know. I am so screwed."

  "Sucks to be you."

  Austin dropped his head in his hands and groaned.

  ***

  Jane watched Austin from the edge of the football field. She stayed close to the bleachers, reasonably sure he couldn't see her. He threw a long pass down the field, way ove
r Greg's head... again. Jack jogged over to Austin and smacked the side of his helmet. Jane couldn't make out his words, but she understood his tone. Austin stood with his hands on his hips, looking down at the ground and nodding.

  "Hey Jane! Heads up!"

  Jane covered her head with her arms and ducked.

  Ryan laughed and trotted over to her. "Sorry. Couldn't resist."

  She looked around, and when she figured out she wasn't the target of a wayward football, she scowled at Ryan. "I'm so glad I could amuse you."

  "Lighten up, Jane. You looked like you needed a laugh."

  She had to agree with him.

  "How's the knee?"

  "Better. Austin bandaged it up for me."

  "Nice to have someone take care of you."

  "Yeah, well... that's over." She sighed.

  "I'm sorry. What did he do?"

  "What do you think?" She looked at him over the top of her glasses.

  "Dumbass." Ryan shook his head.

  She looked toward the football field again and watched Austin fumble a handoff to Jack.

  "I, ah...." Ryan fumbled his words. "Maybe this is too soon, but I...." His face turned red as he cast his eyes toward the ground.

  Is he trying to ask me out?

  "I wonder if you'd like to go out with me sometime."

  Her eyes widened. She'd had no idea Ryan liked her. Maybe other guys liked her too. She needed to start paying attention. A loud cheer went up from the field as Austin's throw connected with a receiver. Jane watched him celebrate with his team and her heart flipped over.

  It didn't matter if anyone else wanted her. She still wanted Austin. "It's too soon, Ryan."

  He nodded. "That's what I figured. But hey, anytime you need a laugh...." He pretended to kick her.

  She gave him a playful shove.

  ***

  "What the hell is she doing with him?"

  "Who is doing what with...?" Jack took off his helmet and followed Austin's furious gaze to the bleachers. "Ah."

  "Holy hell. Look at her. She's laughing with him and touching him—"

  "You're the one who dumped her."

  "Last night! Even I don't move on that fast."

  Jack threw his head back and laughed.

  "Shut up." Austin chucked his helmet on the bench and stormed over to the bleachers where Jane was still giggling. Fortunately for Ryan, he made it to the locker room before Austin got to Jane.