by Amelia James
"I can't believe you're doing this to me. In front of the whole damn team!"
Jane's mouth fell open and she stared at him. "Just what do you think I'm doing?"
Austin flung his arm toward Ryan. "You used all those lessons I taught you on him. Flirting with him, teasing him—"
"Are you kidding me? Ryan came over to ask about my knee."
"Yeah, right. Is that why you had your hands all over him?"
She scowled. "I gave him a little shove when he asked me out...."
"I knew it! As soon as I'm out of the picture, you run right to another guy."
"I did not—"
"How long has this been going on?"
"Has what been—"
"I'll bet you had him waiting on the sidelines—"
"Austin, I don't—"
"—ready to come in and take my place as soon as--
"Austin, are you listening to yourself?"
He closed his mouth and blinked. He'd heard this conversation before.
Jane's eyes narrowed. "This is exactly what you do to every girl you've ever gone out with."
"No, not that." He shook his head. His parents had gone through this exact fight every time his mom caught his dad cheating.
"Yes that. I am not going to stand here and let you accuse me of...." Her face turned red and her eyes burned right through him. "What were you thinking?"
He wasn't thinking. He couldn't. As soon as he'd seen her with someone else, he'd just reacted. "Janie, I want you back."
Her eyes widened. "Yeah, this is the way to do it."
"I don't know how to do it. I've never done this before." He reached for her, but she stepped back. "Please, Janie."
Her lips formed a hard line and she took off her glasses, pinching the bridge of her nose again like her head hurt. "We need to talk. Now."
***
"Yeah. Okay." He led her to that all-too-familiar doorway, then grabbed her arms and pulled her up against his body. "I miss you."
She missed him too, but she couldn't tell him that. "Austin, please, let me say this." Jane stepped back, but when she saw the pure terror in his eyes, her heart ached for him. "I'm sorry I got so angry with you last night. I didn't want us to end like that, so I want to explain how I felt."
He nodded, seeming to relax a little.
"You met someone else last night. That hurt, but not as much as you bailing out as soon as things got difficult."
"I'm not bailing out."
"Listen to me. Don't argue."
"I'm not arguing."
"Austin." Her eyes pierced him, and he backed up against the wall. "If you want to end this, that's fine." She choked back tears. Knowing she had nothing left to lose, she decided to gamble. "But do it for the right reason."
"I don't want to hurt you. What other reason do I need?"
"I don't believe that."
"You think I would hurt you?" He moved closer and reached out, but she backed away.
She couldn't let him touch her. That would drain what little defensive strength she had left. "No, I don't think that's the reason. You wanted someone else—"
He shook his head hard. "No, I don't want her."
"—and you're scared."
His eyes narrowed and he growled. "I am not scared."
She shot him a hard look, but he stood his ground. "You're afraid of trying to make this work so you're taking the easy way out." Saying it out loud brought back her anger, making her tone sharp.
"This is not easy! I told you that last night."
"Then be honest with me."
"I have always been honest with you."
"Then be honest with yourself." She advanced on him, and he froze.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Tell me you don't want me anymore, and if you believe it, I'll believe it, and I'll let you go." She knew she was putting it all on the table, and waited for him to fold or call her bluff. But she wasn't bluffing, and he would not fold.
"I want you, Janie. Do you believe that?"
"Yes, I do. That's why I won't let you run away."
"I am not running—"
"Austin, you're not listening to me."
"You're not listening to me!"
"You said you don't want to hurt me. I understand that. You said you don't want that girl you met last night. That's great." She waited for him to argue again, but he stayed quiet. "Listen to me, now. You were tempted last night and it scared you. You didn't know what to do, so you did what you always do—you left."
"But you wouldn't let me."
"I don't want you to have any regrets. If it's over between us, it's over. No second chances."
"No, I don't want.... I don't know...." He ran his hands through his hair and turned away from her, bumping his head against the cold brick wall. When he turned to face her again, his desperate blue eyes were filled with honest fear. "Janie, I'm gonna be tempted again. I'm gonna hurt you and that's what scares me the most."
Ah-ha! There it is. That's the reason. The thought of hurting her scared him more than the thought of losing her. Jane summoned all the inner strength Jack and her mother claimed she possessed.
"I'm not afraid, Austin."
"Are you sure?"
She had to be. "Yes. We'll deal with your temptation as it happens."
"I don't know if I can—resist."
She understood; Austin Sinclair didn't know how to resist temptation—never had. "Everyone gets tempted. The important thing is you didn't give in."
"I kissed her."
"I know. You told me."
"Actually, she kissed me. I pushed her away."
"You can stop talking about it now."
"Sorry."
Jane closed the distance between them. She felt safe touching him now, and took his shaking hands. "Temptation by itself isn't bad. It's how you handle it that matters."
Austin looked into her eyes and squeezed her hands as if he needed strength from her. "Last night, I didn't know how to handle it."
"Yes you did. You told her no and then you came to see me, and if you weren't so bound and determined to run away from me—"
"Hey!"
"—we might've had a lot of fun last night."
"What are you talking about?"
"I hear makeup sex is pretty hot."
"I never thought...."
He looked so baffled she had to offer him some hope, some reason to believe they had a future. "I'm stronger than I look." God, I hope so. "I can handle it when you talk to another girl or smile at her. I'll be okay."
His eyes sparkled with unrelenting mischief. "Did you just give me permission to flirt with other women?"
Oh, how I missed those wicked blue eyes. "That's not exactly what I had in mind. I know how guilty you felt last night. Don't do that to yourself. You'll end up hurting us both."
"I don't like hurting you."
"It wasn't a whole lot of fun for me, either."
"I am so sorry."
"I know." She slid her arms around him and held him close, resting her head on his chest, soft and warm against her.
He wrapped his hands in her hair. "Am I forgiven?"
"For what?"
He leaned back and looked into her eyes. "For trying to take the easy way out."
"Yeah, don't do that again."
"I couldn't if I wanted to. You made it impossible."
"That'll teach you to bail out on me."
He touched her cheek. "You know I want you, so the only question is: do you want me?"
She couldn't resist the temptation to tease him. "Hmm... let me think about that."
Austin growled and kissed her, claiming her lips as his own. He forced his tongue into her mouth, taking what he wanted and giving her everything she needed. "Tell me you want me or I'll stop."
"I want you, Austin," she whispered on his lips.
"That's what I like to hear. Come to bed with me and let's make up."
"Ooo... I want to." She grabbed his wri
st and turned his watch around. "But I have to get ready for my game."
"Damn it. All right, but tonight I won't let you run away from me." He pulled her close and nibbled her ear.
"I won't even try." She pushed away from him. "Are you coming?"
"I'm damn close."
She frowned at him over the top of her glasses.
"Oh, you're talking about the game." He winked.
Jane gave him one last kiss and ran off to the locker room. She didn't dare look back, afraid she would see something she wouldn't like. Had she done the right thing? Was fighting to stay with him worth the effort?
And he still wouldn't talk about the girl from high school. Did he still want her? Maybe he'd gotten past that, but he still feared anything resembling a serious relationship.
Oh God. Was Jane strong enough for both of them?
Chapter 16
Austin sat in the bleachers as Jane dribbled the soccer ball toward the goal. The damn goalie taunted her, but Jane just smiled. She faked a kick to the right and then—boom—pounded the ball left into the net as the goalie dove in the wrong direction.
"Goooooaallll!" the crowd cheered, Austin and Jack among them. The Bayfield Bears had just taken the lead.
"Jane took you back already?" Jack said to Austin. "How did you do that?"
"I didn't. She wouldn't let me break up with her." Damn stubborn woman. How does she know me so well?
Jack laughed. "Finally, a woman who won't let you run away."
"I was not running away."
Jack gave him a knowing look, but Austin ignored him, determined to follow Janie's every move.
"Okay, maybe I was. I'm surprised she didn't give up on me." He'd gone through a lot to get his Janie back, but she was worth it. Would it be this hard to keep her? He didn't mind. As long as she wanted him, he would do whatever was necessary. This would be the biggest challenge he ever faced, but he chose not to be afraid anymore.
"Maybe she thinks you're worth the trouble."
"Yeah, I guess so."
She knew he would be tempted again, and that he might try to take the easy way out again, but she'd listened when he told her he was afraid of hurting her. She still wanted to be with him, and even offered to help him. Was he really worth that much trouble?
"She said some things that made me think."
"Think about what?"
He hadn't meant to say that out loud. How could he explain it to Jack if he didn't understand it himself? "Lots of things." Could he tell her he feared getting hurt too?
"I like women who make me think."
Austin laughed. "Yeah, you would."
"Jane likes it when you hum."
"I do not—wait.... Janie likes it?"
Jack laughed, but he ignored him. Jane had just stolen the ball from the other team.
"Damn, she's good." Austin whistled and clapped.
"Scary too." Ryan plopped down next to them.
Austin snarled "What do you mean? You're the one who kicked her."
Ryan laughed. "Did she tell you how that happened?"
Austin shook his head. Jack stopped watching the game and listened.
"I was dribbling the ball down the field, getting ready to take a shot at the goal. Out of nowhere, Jane charges me. I couldn't stop my momentum. I kicked her—hard. She stole the ball and kept right on going like nothing happened."
Jack shook his head. "Scary is right."
Austin laughed. "That sounds like my Janie."
"The girl is a terror on the field." Ryan saw the way Austin was watching Jane's every move, cheering and shouting encouragement every chance he got. "You really like her."
Am I this obvious to everyone? "Yeah, I do."
"That's good. It's all about finding the right person." Ryan caught Austin's eye. "Treat her right."
"I will."
Finding the right person.... Someone who wouldn't put up with his BS. Someone who saw through his charm and called him on it. His mother let his father charm his way out of trouble for too long. She'd never held him accountable until the damage was beyond repair. Janie wouldn't do that. Is Janie the right person for me?
His parents thought they'd found the right person. His father had found the 'right person' more than once. No, that couldn't be right.
Jack had said he believed there was only one right person, and that once Austin found her, he wouldn't need—or want—to look for anyone else.
Ever since he'd met Janie, he'd forgotten all about looking for the next girl. Even the hot girl at McGinley's didn't interest him. He couldn't even remember her name. It didn't matter. Janie had to be the right girl for him. He couldn't imagine anyone else. He didn't want to.
He'd thought Natalie was the right person. Now he knew better, but at the time, it seemed so clear. Natalie had left him because she believed he never thought about the future. But he wasn't that guy anymore. How long would he let those memories drag him down? Could he finally let the past go and consider a future with Janie?
The final buzzer sounded as time expired. Janie and her team screamed and cheered. Bayfield had won 3-2. Jane ran off the field into Austin's arms.
He picked her up and spun her around, laughing with her. "You were amazing." He gave her a hard kiss right on the lips.
"I can't believe I made that shot." She leapt from Austin's arms and bear-hugged Jack.
"Their goalie couldn't believe it either." Jack patted her on the back.
"I feel like celebrating," she said.
"Where do you want to go, Janie?" Austin would go anywhere with her.
"Let's make it someplace quiet. I'm wiped out."
His mind whirled. She wouldn't be quiet for long.
"Oo—I know. Come over to my place. I made a cake last night, and I have a ton of it left."
"Mmm... what kind?" Both Austin and Jack wanted to know.
"Chocolate, caramel, toffee, whipped cream...."
"Oh, Janie, don't tease me." Austin pulled her close.
"Let me take a shower, and I'll meet you both back here."
"You're inviting me too?" Jack said.
"Sure. Why not? Be right back." Jane ran off to the gym.
"Is that okay with you, man?"
Austin actually didn't mind having Jack tag along. He liked hanging out with his two best friends. Wow. What a weird thought. "Sure. Why not? Whatever makes her happy."
Right then Austin knew that all he ever wanted was to make Janie happy. It didn't matter what his mother had said, what his father had done, or what Natalie had thought. Austin wanted love. No, he needed it; craved it. Could he take the chance?
He needed to talk to Jack about it, because his friend knew about love. Maybe they should invite Jack's girlfriend too, and then Austin could see how a couple in love were supposed to treat each other. "Where's Angie?"
Jack shrugged. "We're not seeing each other anymore."
"Sorry, man." So much for that idea.
"It's okay. I'm already interested in someone else."
"You sound like me." Austin laughed and corrected himself. "Like I used to."
"How do you like that?"
"I like it. Who is she?"
"No one you know."
"That narrows it down."
Jack laughed.
Austin watched Janie disappear into the gym, trying not to think about how close he'd come to losing her last night. He'd said no to Ava, doing that right at least, but he also remembered what he'd done wrong, what hurt Janie the most. He promised himself he'd never make that mistake again.
A stiff breeze blew across the open field and he shivered, remembering how cold he'd felt without Janie in his life. He didn't ever want to feel cold again.
***
Sara wasn't home when they got to the girls' apartment, and Austin breathed a silent sigh of relief.
"Make yourselves comfortable, guys." Jane ducked into the kitchen and brought them each a plate piled high with chocolate, caramel, and more chocolate, with whippe
d cream on top.
Austin grabbed a fork and dug in as she settled in next to him. "Wow."
Jack's plate was emptying fast. "This is so good. What's it called?" He made yummy noises and took another bite.
She smiled and blushed. "Um... it's called Better than Sex Cake."
"It is not," Austin protested. "It's great, but it's not better than sex."
She giggled, but didn't argue with him.
"Yes it is," Jack said.
"You need to get laid more often."
"Ya think?" Jack took another bite and moaned. "Austin told me you were a great cook, but I had no idea you could do this."
"Thank you." Jane smiled at Jack.
"I told you she cooked better than my mother, but you wouldn't believe me."
"I'll never doubt you again."
"Janie...." Austin put his empty plate on the coffee table, slid close to her, and nibbled her neck. "You are a goddess on the soccer field, in the kitchen...." He touched his lips to her ear. "...and in the bedroom. May I have some more?"
"You're talking about cake, right?"
Austin slid his hand under her shirt, teasing her bare skin. "For now."
"Since you asked so nicely...." She kissed him and got up.
"More for me too, please." Jack handed her his empty plate.
Jane gave them as much as they wanted, but she didn't eat anything. She alternately bit her lip and twirled her fingers in her hair, and Austin knew something was bothering her.
Was she still upset about last night? He thought they'd resolved that. What if she still had doubts about him? He felt an urgent need to talk to her, something he'd never cared to do before, but he didn't know how to start, so he praised her cake again.
"Janie, this is almost better than sex. You could be a chef."
"Definitely," Jack agreed.
"Thank you. I'm happy to hear you guys say that." This time she smiled when she bit her lip, looking at Austin, then Jack. Did she want to tell them something?
Austin put down his plate and squeezed her hand. "Talk to me, Janie."
Her eyes were still uncertain, but she gripped his hand tight. "Remember when I told you I haven't decided what I was doing with my major?"
"Yeah, I remember."
She took a deep breath. "I decided I'm going to culinary school after I graduate. I want to work in a restaurant for a while, and hopefully start one of my own someday."