Classic Revenge

by Mitzi Kelly

  "Here comes Henry now," Trish piped up gratefully as the chief appeared from around the side of the house. She wasn't looking forward to the coming discussion at all. She knew Joe Radcliff well enough to know that he wouldn't be pleased to learn they had started secretly investigating potential suspects.

  Poor Edna looked like she had just swallowed rotten tuna fish. The unspoken laws of matrimony demanded that she should have told Joe what she was doing, out of courtesy and respect, if nothing else. But Edna couldn't very well tell Joe that she knew if she had told him he would be upset. That sounded a little too juvenile, like the child who knew he would be punished for doing something wrong, but the temptation was just too great.

  Oh, well, Trish thought to herself, maybe she and Millie could convince Joe that they had forced Edna to participate. Yeah, right, her inner voice whispered mockingly.

  When Henry drew near, Millie asked hopefully, "Well?"

  Henry sighed and shook his head. "Nobody is in the house now. Come on in and have a look around, and see if you notice anything missing or disturbed. I'll send our fingerprint expert over in the morning, so try not to touch anything." Millie was off in a dash, almost running toward her front door. Henry rolled his eyes and hurried after her.

  "Should we go in too?" Edna asked with a worried look on her face as she watched Millie and Henry enter the house.

  Joe shook his head. "Let's wait a while."

  A few of the neighbors walked up to express their concern and offer any help before returning to their homes and locking up tight. One man Trish paid particular attention to as he spoke with Joe was Mr. Greenburg, the neighbor Millie believed moonlighted as a Peeping Tom. The image of this soft-spoken, thin, gangly old man spying on Millie was just too improbable to be true. However, as soon as Millie and Henry came back out of the house, Mr. Greenburg shuffled away in a hurry. Trish bit her lip to keep from grinning. Millie wasn't even carrying a rifle!

  Millie's eyes narrowed as she walked up to her friends and glared at Mr. Greenburg's retreating back. "What did he want?" Trish noticed Millie was wearing her other slipper now.

  "He came by to make sure you were okay," Joe said, unaware of Millie's past episode with her neighbor.

  "I'll just bet!"

  "Millie, never mind about that now," Edna gently admonished. "Was anything missing?"

  Millie shrugged and shook her head, looking dumbfounded. "Not that I can tell-everything looks fine."

  Henry placed his hands on his hips. "It might have been a kid thinking the house was vacant. School's almost out for the summer, you know, and the teenagers are staying out later. Maybe someone was just trying to cause some trouble, or maybe somebody needed money, got brave, and decided to try their luck in this neighborhood."

  "That's a lot of maybes," Trish said doubtfully.

  Henry frowned. "I'm just throwing out ideas at this point. Like I said, we'll take fingerprints tomorrow, but, I have to be honest with you, unless our culprit is in the database already, we won't know more than we do now."

  "We appreciate all you're doing, Henry," Joe said tactfully. "I must say, I would have expected someone else on your force to have answered this call so early in the morning. Are you working twenty-four-hour days now?"

  Henry grinned and shook his head. "Nah, Mac's mother-in-law is visiting from California, so I gave him the evening off. He begged me to work, but I figured he could score some brownie points with his wife if he was home" Both men chuckled at the lame joke.

  Edna looked at Trish and rolled her eyes. "What is it about mothers-in-law that can make the strongest male cower?" That shut them up.

  "Well, I'm glad you were here to handle this." Joe reached out to shake Henry's hand.

  "No problem. I'll send an officer around in the morning, Millie. In the meantime, I don't think you should be alone in the house until that glass pane is replaced"

  "I completely agree," Trish said firmly. She looked at Millie and spoke in a tone that brooked no argument. "You can spend the rest of the night with me"

  Millie sighed. "That's probably a good idea. I doubt anybody would be stupid enough to come back tonight, though."

  "Well, there's still no sense in taking chances. If you do discover anything is missing after you look around again, just give me a call. And don't have that pane replaced until after we take the fingerprints, okay?" After Joe assured Henry that he would take care of that himself, Henry waved good-bye and drove off.

  Millie stifled a yawn. "I'm just going to grab a few things, and then we can go to your house, Trish. I'm exhausted"

  Joe followed Millie into her house while Trish looked on suspiciously. That twinkle in Millie's eyes belied her claim of exhaustion. However, the woman was eighty years old, she chided herself, amazed once again at Millie's stamina. The events of the last few days would have worn down someone half her age. Then, suddenly feeling bone-weary herself, Trish grinned wryly. She was over half Millie's age, herself.

  Joe and Millie came out of the house, Millie carrying a small vinyl bag. "Oh-oh," Edna whispered, "I wonder if Joe still wants to talk."

  Trish had forgotten all about the "discussion" Joe wanted to have. "I hope not," Trish whispered back. "I don't think my mind is sharp enough right now to explain our actions."

  Edna nodded. "We'll end up sounding like old busybodies instead of the experienced professionals we really are" Trish choked on a laugh as she whipped around to look at Edna. There was a definite glint in her eyes before she winked and turned to address Joe. "I think we've had enough excitement for one night ... or morning. You get some rest, Millie, and we'll help you clean up the mess and look around again later today" Edna leaned over and gave Millie a hug. "Don't you worry about a thing. Come on, Joe. We need some sleep, too"

  "No buts, dear-everybody is tired." Edna slid her arm through Joe's and started walking toward their own house. "Call us when you get up," she said to Millie and Trish over her shoulder.

  "That girl's good," Millie chuckled as they entered Trish's house.

  "You can say that again. Do you want anything before we go to bed?"

  "No, I'm fine. I'm not really even that tired. I just didn't want to talk to Joe tonight. He's an old worrywart"

  Trish grinned. "I thought as much. Still, we need to try and get some sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a long day"

  "You mean today," Millie said with a yawn, following Trish to the guest bedroom.

  Trish woke feeling amazingly refreshed after the earlier sleepless night and then the events of Millie's break-in. She even tried to exercise some, but she was afraid the loud clanging of the metal weights would wake Millie. It was no big deal, anyway. There was always tomorrow. Besides, just thinking about doing it was an improvement.

  Feeling thinner already, Trish sat sipping her coffee and reading the newspaper when Millie walked in. "Good morning." She looked up with a smile. "Did you get any sleep?"

  "I tried to," Millie grumbled, making her way to the coffeepot still in her nightgown and slippers. "That dang contraption you got there makes so much noise it would wake the dead"

  "That's a lie," Trish said sweetly, refusing to be drawn into an argument this early. "I only did it once." The curlers were gone from Millie's hair, and Trish noticed she had applied a light touch of makeup. She looked relaxed and rested, despite her grumpy attitude.

  "Well, you did it once too many," Millie said as she sat down and took a sip of her coffee. "Actually, I slept pretty well. I didn't think I was tired, but once my head hit the pillow I was out"

  Suddenly Trish caught a whiff of a strange odor, a faint chemical smell. "I'm glad you were able to rest" She looked around the kitchen trying to figure out where the smell was coming from. "The stress probably wore you out more than you thought. I wonder what time they'll come take fingerprints," she said, poking her head under the table and sniffing.

  "Oh, it'll be any time now, I imagine." Millie watched silently as Trish got up and walked to the trash can in the corner
and stuck her nose in it. Sighing deeply, she put her coffee cup down and crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "Oh, all right, it's me!" she snapped.

  Trish stood up straight and looked at Millie with a puzzled expression. "What are you talking about?"

  Millie's lips drew into a tight line as she glared accusingly at Trish. "Not too many people I know put bug spray in the bathroom cabinet next to the hair spray!"

  Trish cocked her head and frowned. "What do you mean ... ? Oh, no, Millie, you didn't!" Trish pinched her lips together, desperately trying to keep from laughing out loud. The indignant expression on Millie's face warned her there would be hell to pay if she did, but, try as she might, Trish couldn't stop the laughter from erupting. Clutching her stomach, she leaned against the counter with tears streaming down her face.

  Millie sat in stony silence, a sure sign that she didn't see the humor in the situation. When Trish could finally breathe normally again, she asked, "Are you all right? You didn't get it in your eyes, did you?" The concern was sincere, but the grin plastered across her face negated some of the sentiment.

  "Of course I'm all right! If I wasn't, I could have died here waiting for you to regain your composure. Nice to know you care so much"

  Trish took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. "This is classic, Millie," she sighed. "I do believe this is a first, even for you. Didn't you read the labels on the cans? Raid and AquaNet are hardly the same product."

  "I wasn't wearing my glasses," Millie sniffed.

  "Well, you'll have to wash it out. I don't recall reading a warning label on the bug spray can about the danger of spraying your hair, but it can't be good for it." Biting her lip to keep from laughing again, she went to the bathroom and got the shampoo and conditioner. She helped Millie get situated at the kitchen sink before she had to back away. The pungent, sweet chemical smell from the bug spray was overwhelming. Shoot, she was laughing again, but she just couldn't help it.

  "I really am sorry," she chuckled, watching Millie dunk her head under the water faucet.

  Before Millie could reply, the doorbell rang. Thankful for the interruption, Trish went to answer it. Still grinning, she opened the door and ushered Edna and Joe inside. She was about to relate what had happened to Millie when she noticed their serious expressions. Immediately, she sensed something was wrong.

  "It seems that Millie isn't the only one who has had an unexpected and unwelcome visitor recently," Joe said, placing his hands in his pockets.

  Trish's hand flew to her heart. "Good heavens, don't tell me you were broken into also?"

  Edna shook her head. "No, not us-it was Sam"

  Trish's eyebrows drew together. "Sam had a break-in again?"

  Edna nodded sadly. "I'm afraid so. Unfortunately, I don't think the police believe him."

  Trish took a deep breath and motioned them into the kitchen. "You better come and sit down and start at the beginning. To be honest, I'm having trouble believing this!"

  "Believing what?" Millie mumbled. She was standing on a step stool with her head buried in a sink full of lather.

  Edna raised her eyebrows. "Don't ask," Trish whispered as she got a clean towel from the laundry room and placed it close to Millie's elbow. She poured Joe and Edna coffee as they sat at the table.

  Millie soon joined them, the towel wrapped turban style around her head. "What's going on?"

  "We were going to the grocery store this morning," Joe began, "when we saw Sam's car in his driveway. We walked over to say hello, but when he answered the door we could tell he had been crying. We thought it was the emotion of being in the house again, but someone had broken in to the safe in his spare bedroom, and it was empty. Everything in that safe has been stolen"

  Joe stirred sugar into his coffee. "Sam was waiting for the police to get there. It seems he had some cash in there and some of his important papers, but the tragedy is that all of Susan's jewelry was in there" Joe shook his head. "It's gone. The man is just heartbroken"

  "Yes," Edna nodded. "Mac must have been working this morning because he drove up in his patrol car soon after we got there, and Sam told him what had happened. I got the distinct impression Mac didn't quite believe him."

  "The police are bound to be suspicious," Joe said charitably. "Sam is facing a murder charge. They probably believe he staged his own break-in to prove how easy it would be for someone to enter his house and kill Susan. Again, there was no evidence of forced entryeither into his house or his safe"

  "Is Sam there now?" Trish asked.

  "No, he said he only came by to water his plants and get some more clothes. He left right after Mac did. Edna and I told him we'd come by Shelley's to see him later."

  "The police are off their rockers !" Millie exclaimed loudly. "Didn't we tell Henry about the spare key?"

  "I don't believe we did," Edna said thoughtfully. "We started to, but he interrupted us, if you remember."

  "When did all this happen?" Joe asked.

  "Uh ... it was part of a conversation recently," Millie stalled. "I really don't remember when"

  "Joe," Edna said hurriedly, "why don't you go get that key right now? Then, call Sam and let him know you have it, and call Henry also."

  Resigned, Joe stood up with a deep sigh. "This is not the end of this conversation, ladies," he warned. "I want to know what's going on"

  Edna waited until the front door closed. "We're going to have to tell Joe"

  Millie nodded. "We don't want you lying to your husband, Edna, and I keep putting my foot right in my mouth. We'll tell him today."

  Trish chewed her bottom lip nervously as she looked at her two friends. These two break-ins were related somehow, but not for the reason the police probably assumed they were. Sam didn't have anything to do with either of them, but Trish had to admit it did look suspicious. With Sam showing up the morning after Millie was broken into and discovering his own house had also been broken into, well ... it was probably too much of a coincidence. There was also the fact that nothing had been taken from Millie's, but Sam had lost some valuable items.

  A slight shiver ran down her spine. It may very well be just a coincidence, or the act of an immature juvenile looking for some money, but Trish didn't believe it. She had a gut feeling that they were dealing with a very determined, very dangerous person who was out to destroy Sam Wiley.

  The question was, what would this person do if he found out three meddling old ladies were just as determined to stop him?

  Edna was curling Millie's hair with a curling iron, a technique, according to Millie, that was sure to burn off all her hair, when Trish looked out her window and spotted Larry Thompson, along with another officer, pull up in front of Millie's house. Edna hurriedly brushed out Millie's hair, spraying it lightly with hair spray this time before they all rushed out the door and across the street.

  Larry smiled when he saw them. "I heard you had some excitement last night."

  "You can say that again." Millie looked with obvious mistrust at what appeared to be a bulky gray tool box the other officer was carrying. "What's that?"

  Larry chuckled. "Ladies, meet Lewis Conrad. He's with the San Antonio Police Department and does all our fingerprint work for us. He's the best in the business." Lewis smiled a friendly smile at them, but he seemed impatient to get down to work. Trish had the impression he was a no-nonsense kind of guy.

  "Well, come on in, then," Millie said. "Would anybody like some coffee or tea?"

  "Coffee sounds great," Larry smiled gratefully. "Lewis?"

  "Nothing for me, thanks" Lewis set the case down on the floor by the back door and knelt down to open it. "Anybody touch anything since the break-in?"

  "No, we were very careful not to. In fact, this is the first time Millie has been inside her house since Chief Espinoza left last night, I mean early this morning. She stayed with Trish."

  "I understand that you aren't the only one who's had an uninvited visitor recently," Larry said.

  "That's rig
ht," Millie said. "And I'll bet you dollars-todoughnuts that the two incidents are somehow related."

  Larry picked up the small chicken-shaped salt shaker from the center of the table and lightly tapped it on the bottom from side to side. Finally, he took a deep breath and nodded slowly. "You may be right."

  Trish's eyes widened. Finally-somebody believed them! But in the next instant, her hopes were crushed as Larry continued in a reluctant voice. "One guess is that you were broken into by a stranger. Sam Wiley heard about it and staged his own break-in to throw doubt on his murder charge. Or," he paused significantly, "Sam broke the glass in your door to make it appear you were broken into and then staged the break-in at his house"

  "That's ridiculous!" Edna exclaimed. Millie's eyes narrowed but she didn't say anything. Trish wasn't surprised. After all, Millie had thought all along that this was the conclusion the police would come to.

  Slowly, Millie stood to her full height-which, viewed from a distance, as Trish saw from over by the kitchen cabinets, was barely taller than the table. Leaning forward with eyes narrowed, in what she probably thought was a threatening stance, Millie placed both hands on the table. She looked like a small, purple, fire-breathing dragon. "Look here, buster, if you think I'm going to answer any questions or discuss this case with you while you have that attitude, then you can think again."

  Quickly, Trish turned her back on the group at the table and pinched her arm hard to keep from laughing out loud. It didn't help that she'd seen the startled expression on Lewis's face as he knelt by the back door brushing black powder on everything. She'd just bet that within the hour Millie's name would be all over the SAPD's offices. Oh, what she wouldn't give for a video camera! Millie had truly missed her real calling in life. Yessir, Dirty Harry would have been proud!

  When she had herself under control, Trish turned back around. Edna sat still, her eyes darting back and forth between Larry and Millie as though she was afraid they were going to draw guns or something. Larry was trying valiantly to hide his own laughter behind a cough. Millie stood there staring daggers at him, her expression unchanged.