A Dream to be Loved Kandi Jaynes

by Kandi Jaynes

  "Well now. You bring up a good point," Terry said. "We share with you, so there's no reason you can't share with us."

  Kate looked skeptical. "What do you mean?"

  "I mean obviously something has you all riled up. I'm guessing it's the flower guy. So who is he and what'd he do?"

  "I'm just having a bad day. Everybody does once in a while. Today is just my turn. In case you haven't noticed I have an unusual workload this week and I'm tired." Kate stood up, "I'd better get back. It may take me a while to find the guys who were helping me. They're probably hiding from me by now."

  She did manage to do better the second half of the day. She apologized to her helpers and made a point to be extra nice to them until they were done.

  That evening she went home, took a quick shower, and packed a change of clothes in her overnight bag. She arrived at Sue's a short time later.

  "Hi, I need a place to crash tonight. Do you have any plans for this evening?"

  "I have a date, but I could cancel," replied Sue surprised.

  "No, don't cancel. I'm exhausted and just want a quiet place to be until tomorrow morning."

  "You live alone outside of town with no close neighbors. Why would you come to my apartment in town for a quiet place to be?"

  "Lets just say my house isn't as quiet as it used to be." Kate walked over and plopped down on the couch. "Will I be in the way? I can go out to eat if you and your date were going to stay in tonight. Or you could use my place."

  "No, we were going out. I have to work in the morning so we weren't planning to be late. He'll be here in about twenty minutes and I should be back by nine or so. Are you sure you don't want me to cancel? Do you need to talk?"

  "No. I'm tired of talking. The time alone will be nice. You go and enjoy your date."

  Kate managed to avoid Drake over the next two days. It gave her a chance to regroup and convince herself she had blown things out of proportion where Drake was concerned.

  Friday at lunchtime the phone rang. "Hi, Kate. Are you going to run off somewhere this weekend?"

  "No, I have too much to do this weekend to be able to get away." She hoped he would take the hint, but wasn't surprised when he didn't.

  "I'm glad you'll be around. I haven't seen you much lately." There was accusation in his voice.

  "I've been busy."

  "Busy avoiding me?" Was that humor she heard in his tone now? "You can't do that forever though. If you don't agree to go out with me I may be forced to camp on your doorstep. I have a tent, and I'm not afraid to use it."

  It irritated her he could rouse her sense of humor so easily. She couldn't stay mad at someone she found amusing. Also, she would never convince him she wasn't interested if she kept letting him draw her into these teasing and sometimes flirtatious conversations.

  "Just because you haven't seen me, doesn't mean I've been avoiding you. It simply means I don't feel the need to pencil you in on my list of things to do." She tried to sound stern, but got the feeling she didn't come across that way when the sound of his laughter echoed through the phone.

  She was glad he couldn't see her face when his voice dropped into that tone that always seemed to flow over her and caress her nerve endings. "I want to see you this weekend, Kate. We can go to dinner and a movie, or we can spend the evening at your house. We could go to my apartment if you like. I could show you where I live. That way you could come and visit me whenever you like."

  "Gee, it all sounds so great I just can't make up my mind. Tell you what, I'll think about it and get back to you. Now I have to get to lunch before my break is over. Bye."

  Kate hung up and grabbed her purse. When she had her lunch and sat down at her usual table, everybody stared at her. "Now what?"

  "You were talking to the flower guy just now, weren't you?" Terry accused.

  "Don't you people have anything better to do than spy on me? What makes you think it was the flower guy?"

  "Because you get all girlie when he's on the phone," Steve said. "And now we know."

  "Know what?" she asked with a casualness she didn't feel.

  "We know it's someone in the building. Someone who works here."

  "What are you talking about?" Kate asked, getting more nervous by the minute.

  "The phone call was an inside call. I was walking by the cage when it rang." His eyes narrowed." Two short rings."

  "You guys sure jump to a lot of conclusions," she said, taking a bite of her sandwich.

  "Come on, give. Who is he?" Steve asked.

  Kate didn't answer, just took another bite of her sandwich, dabbing her mouth with a napkin.

  Steve, who loves drama, stood up acting like a character out of an old black and white mystery. He squinted one eye and looked around the table, then in some unrecognizable foreign accent said, "We know it is someone in this building. Someone we all know. It could be someone in this very room. How do we know he isn't sitting at this very table?" He sat back down and again looked at each man.

  Terry threw his hands in the air. "Okay, I confess! It's me!"

  Kate laughed so hard her sides ached. As the laughing subsided, she reached over and patted Terry's rounded stomach, "As long as we're confessing we might as well tell them the rest. He's expecting my child."

  This time everyone else at the table laughed until they hurt. Except Terry who was trying his best to look offended.

  "No, it's not Terry," Kate said.

  "Why not? What's wrong with me?"

  "I just wouldn't have the conscience for it. You often talk about all the women who chase you. I would feel too guilty about taking you away from all of them."

  "Okay," Steve said. "It's not Terry. We're weeding out suspects."

  "What about me?" Ron asked.

  "You mean other than the fact you're married?" Kate questioned.

  "If you consider that a problem, then I guess that rules out Dennis and Paul here, too."

  Steve spoke up again. Kate wasn't sure whether he was trying to sound French or German. "Good, good. Now we're getting somewhere. What about Smitty?"

  Kate looked at Smitty and grinned. He was wriggling his eyebrows and flexing the muscles in his chest. Kate heaved a deep dramatic sigh. "I have to admit Smitty does give a girl something to think about. Unfortunately I just don't think I could get past the tattoos. Sorry, Smitty." She often teased him about his tattoos.

  Steve looked past Kate, "What about Drake?"

  Kate turned and found Drake standing a few feet from her.

  He looked directly at her. "Yes, Kate, what about me?"

  This game suddenly wasn't so fun. She refused, however, to give these guys any hint he was the flower guy. She eyed him for a moment. "I don't think so. He's too... I don't know, VP-ish."

  "VP-ish?" Drake asked.

  "Yeah, you know, big office, starchy dress shirts. Preppy." She gave him an apologetic look. "Basically not my type at all."

  "Come on, Kate, the guy has to dress that way for his job," Dave said. "It isn't fair to judge a guy on how he dresses for work."

  "Yeah," added Terry, "He's probably not so preppy outside of work." The other guys at the table nodded and agreed.

  Kate couldn't believe they were all defending him. She looked around the table and stated, "Have you seen what he drives?"

  Whistles, nods, and various sounds of understanding came from around the table. Steve looked at Drake sympathetically, "She's gotcha there, dude. You don't get much more preppy than that."

  Drake grinned. "The car's not mine. A week before I left Indy some kid was showing off in his new sports car and totaled mine while it was parked. Bill rented this one for me until I can replace mine. So far I haven't had much time to car shop." He smiled at Kate. "So what kind of car do you see me in that isn't too preppy for you?"

  "Hmm." Kate put her finger on her chin and squinted. "Possibly a small SUV."

  He contemplated her a moment. "What do you drive?"

  She realized her car was always in the gara
ge, he probably hadn't ever seen it when he was over. "Us working girls can't afford fancy new cars. I drive a really old car."

  Gasps and shrieks of outrage erupted around her.

  Steve grabbed his chest. "Blaspheme! How dare you call it that."

  Terry groaned with his head down on the table. "I can't believe she said that."

  Drake's brow furrowed at the odd display. "What does she drive?"

  Dave ignored the glare Kate gave him and looked at Drake. "She drives the one car in the parking lot we've all tried to get our hands on at one time or another. It's an all original nineteen sixty-six Mustang convertible."

  Drake's eyes widened. "The blue one? I've seen it in the parking lot." He looked at Kate. "That's your car?"

  "Yes." The buzzer rang signaling lunch was over and they all cleared their things and went back to work.

  Kate was a bit jumpy the rest of the afternoon. She hadn't given Drake an answer about plans for the weekend and didn't think he would just forget about it. She didn't know if he would come to the cage, or he would wait and show up at her house.

  She had considered spending the weekend with Sue or Missy, but didn't want to have to explain her actions. Sue still wondered about the other night. She could simply lock herself in the house and pretend she wasn't home if he came. That seemed too childish. She should just tell him once and for all she didn't want to see him anymore and be done with it. Although she had been fairly blunt about that before, and he hadn't ever listened.

  The workday finally ended with no sign of Drake. Kate went home and changed into an old tee shirt and shorts intending to do her usual Friday night housework.

  Part way through, the doorbell rang. It had to be Drake, her friends always just walked in. She found it strange she hadn't seen much of them lately. She knew she looked a mess. Her braid had come partially loose, her clothes were old, and she probably had dust all over her. She thought about ducking into the laundry room and pulling something better out of the dryer, then decided he would simply have to deal with her the way she was if he insisted on popping in at all hours. She walked over and pulled the door open. "What?"

  "Well, hello to you too," Drake replied. "Can I come in?"

  "I really am busy. I don't have time to socialize this evening." She didn't move.

  "What are you doing? Is it something I can help you with?"

  "Thanks for the offer, but no. I'm cleaning house."

  "How long will it take?"

  "I don't know I've let things go lately, so it will probably take a long time."

  "I have to take care of a few things myself this evening, so I'll go do that and be back here in about two hours. That will give you time to work, then we can spend the rest of the evening together."

  Kate squared her shoulders and glared at him. "You are the pushiest person I've every met. Why won't you take the hint and leave me alone?"

  "Because I enjoy your company. I also know you enjoy mine when you let yourself relax." He leaned toward her again and his voice lowered. "We have something special, Kate, and I'm not willing to give up on it. I don't know exactly what you're afraid of, but I'm willing to stick around as long as it takes for you to get past it." He dropped a quick kiss on her cheek and said, "I'll be back in two hours."

  Kate watched as he walked to his car. Slowly she closed the door and leaned against it. What was she going to do? She let out a scream of irritation, then got back to work. It was amazing how much work one could do when they were angry. She nearly scrubbed the pattern off the floor by the time she was done.

  Twenty minutes before Drake was due back she took a shower and put on clean clothes. The doorbell rang as she entered the kitchen. She pulled the door open and stepped back for him to enter.

  Drake had brought movies and they decided to eat in front of the TV again. After they finished, he covered the pizza and stacked the plates. When he stood, Kate assumed he was going to the kitchen. Instead he scooped her up and flopped her onto the couch. He slid behind her as he had done when he found her sleeping and pulled her back against him. "This is much better than sitting on the floor." Just as before, he took the blanket from the back of the couch and tossed it over of them.

  She should be outraged. She should leap off the couch and tell him exactly what she thought of him.

  She didn't think that would have the desired affect, however, considering at the moment she thought he was really warm, with strong comforting arms, and a broad solid chest.

  Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Her mind screamed. You have got to stop thinking about him like that. Drake pulled her closer and wrapped both arms around her. Kate was tense while she tried to decide whether she should do the safe thing and get up, or take a chance and enjoy being in his arms.

  Before she could make up her mind he leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Just let me hold you, Kate." He kissed the back of her neck, then rested his head back down on the pillow.

  Kate closed her eyes and concentrated on keeping her breathing steady. She really did want to stay where she was. Maybe it would be okay for a little while. Just this once.

  When the movie was over, she slid off the couch and went to get another drink. She was standing at the sink when Drake walked up behind her. She turned, looking up at him. His eyes were dark and shadowed. She hadn't bothered to turn on a light when she came in. The only light in the room was from a small nightlight she always left on.

  "Do you want another drink?" Her voice was a bit shaky. He was very close, and from the look in his eyes it wasn't a drink he wanted.

  "No, I don't. I think we need to talk."

  She ran her tongue across her dry lips, regretting it when she noticed how intently he watched the small nervous gesture.

  "About what?"

  "About us." He raised a finger to her lips when she would have protested. "Yes, there is an us whether you want to admit it or not. I think some things about our relationship need to change."

  "Like what?" she asked hesitantly.

  "Like kissing for instance. I don't think I should kiss you."

  How odd that relief could so easily disguise itself as disappointment.

  "Okay," she whispered.

  Drake moved a step closer, lowering his voice. "I think instead, we should kiss each other." Moving closer yet, he slipped his hands around her waist.

  Kate's hands tightened their grip on the edge of the counter as she leaned back a little farther, "Drake, I don't... I mean, we..."

  As Drake started to lean toward her they heard, "Good grief, Kate," from Sue who had just come in. "You'll have to excuse her, Drake. She's normally a very intelligent woman, capable of dealing with highly complicated and technical situations. Unfortunately it's the simple concepts she sometimes has trouble with." Sue stopped directly behind Drake reaching around him to pry Kate's hands from the counter top. "It's like this dear." She pulled Kate's arms up and wound them around Drake's shoulders. "That's much better," she said stepping back. "I came to get my other purse out of my room. I'll just grab it and be out of your way." Sue was down the hall and back in a flash. "You two have fun. I'll see you later."

  When she was gone, Drake smiled. "I like your friends."

  "Good. You can have that one."

  Drake lowered his head and kissed her cheek. Then slowly kissed and nibbled his way to her ear and down the side of her neck. He gently pulled the tie from her hair, letting it spill across her shoulders and down her back. Winding his hand into the thick silky mass, he drew her head back allowing him room to explore the smooth sensitive skin at the base of her neck and under her chin. As he pulled her closer she whimpered softly, breathless and trembling in his arms, her fingers curled tight, each clenching a fistful of his shirt.

  Don't kiss him, don't kiss him, don't kiss him.

  She tried to concentrate as his lips trailed back toward hers. Then he whispered, "Kiss me, Kate. Don't think about it, don't fight it, just feel what's between us and kiss me." His words were husky and full
of raw emotion, weakening Kate's reserve.

  Maybe just this once. To see what it would be like to really kiss him. Just this once, just this, just this....

  Kate had expected a hard passionate kiss. Instead Drake kissed her softly with such tenderness tears welled up in her eyes. Never before had she reacted to a kiss this way. She hadn't realized a simple physical act could be filled with such strong emotion. Unclenching her fists, she ran her fingers into his hair pulling him closer. The kiss deepened and a low sensual growl escaped him, sending ripples of pleasure spiraling through her body. She pressed against him as the kiss became more intense and demanding. Kate was completely lost to everything but Drake.

  When he dragged his lips from hers, they were both shaking and gasping for breath. He pulled back slightly to look at her, then gently wiped away the tear that had spilled down her cheek. "Are you okay?"

  "I think so." Her smile was uncertain and her words strained. "That was just... I wasn't expecting..."

  Drake pulled her close. Settling her head on his shoulder, he whispered, "I know, I think it took us both by surprise."

  *****

  Drake was trembling as well, his emotions threatening to engulf him completely. He couldn't remember ever wanting to tell a woman he loved her before, but now, he was struggling to keep from it. He fought against it knowing she wasn't ready to hear it yet, but he would tell her soon.

  Chapter Seven

  Kate lay face down with her head under her pillow the next morning trying to block out memories. She had tossed and turned most of the night not being able to get Drake out of her head long enough to sleep. When she had drifted off, she dreamed about him. She never would have guessed a person with so little actual experience at something could dream in such graphic detail. Why was her subconscious torturing her this way? And why was her body so eager to help?