Into the Light (Untwisted series Book 3)

by Raine, Alice

  ‘Ignore it,’ I said tightly. Easing my reluctant body from the floor I dumped the wasted coffee beans into the bin before joining Kenny by the intercom. Fuck, even through the grainy black and white image of the security camera Nathan looked just as bloody glorious as he would have done in full high definition colour. Glorious but angry, by the looks of the scowl on his face.

  Turning my back on the image I squeezed my eyes closed to try and shut down the pain now radiating in my chest. Why was he here? We were over, for God’s sake. Was he here to torment me and remind me how much I still wanted him? I’d moved all my things out of my room at his place and left it tidy enough, what the hell could I have done wrong?

  Clutching the wall I tried to breathe slowly and ease the pain in my lungs. I’d never been in love before, but given the utter misery of the last week, not to mention the pain currently burning in my chest, what I felt for Nathan must be bloody close. I was so sodding naive to enter a relationship with him and not see this coming. My head dropped until my chin touched my chest. God, I loved Nathan and he’d finished with me. My life really was well and truly shit.

  ‘He looks angry,’ Kenny commented, his eyes still latched to the screen. I suspected that whilst being supportive of me he was also getting his fill of my ex’s delicious features. ‘Don’t you want to know what he wants?’

  I did and I didn’t. It wouldn’t be anything good though, would it? After ripping up my contract and removing my choker he’d made his feelings towards me perfectly clear. Nope, I was better off keeping my distance, I’d made it through a week and was well on the way to getting over him. A near hysterical laugh bubbled in my throat – over him? What a complete load of rubbish! I was nowhere near over him, but seeing him in person certainly wasn’t going to help so I began to cross the living room away from the door.

  ‘Nope, just ignore it if he rings again. I’m going for a shower.’

  Nathan’s unexpected appearance at our flat this morning had turned out to be the most interesting highlight of my day so far. Apart from spending an age in the shower distracting myself by plucking, waxing, shaving, and preening every part of myself, I had then retreated back to the sofa and proceeded to watch crappy re-runs on television while also having the occasional little snooze.

  I hadn’t even had Kenny to keep me company, as it turned out that the Batman pants were being worn especially for the male guest he had holed up in his bedroom. That probably explained his forgetfulness about my dumped status too, he’d no doubt been too busy trying to impress his date and had forgotten all about my lacklustre love life.

  After he’d made me a coffee this morning I’d not seen any more of Kenny, and thank God I hadn’t been able to hear whatever he was getting up to in his lucky pants either, which had been a mighty relief.

  By five o’clock I had started to consider the possibility of ordering some takeaway food when there was a loud banging on my front door. The door right behind me, not the intercom, which meant that it was either one of my neighbours popping round or someone had got past security and made their way up here. Another huge pounding on the door made me shriek and I jumped up thinking the entire door and frame was about to come crashing inwards.

  ‘What the hell’s going on, Stella?’ Kenny squealed, appearing at my side and still only wearing those bloody pants.

  ‘I don’t know …’ I murmured cautiously, staring at the now silent front door, and although I had a pretty good idea of who was banging the grain out of my door I still had absolutely no idea why.

  Inching closer I looked though the peep hole and confirmed my suspicions. Nathan. Looking really broody as he stared at the floor with his shoulders rising and falling frantically from his exertion. Suddenly as if he knew I was looking his head snapped up and he looked straight at the peep hole, causing me to shriek almost as stupidly as Kenny had earlier.

  Advancing on the door in a flash Nathan was pounding again at the same time as speaking loudly, ‘I know you’re in there, Stella, I heard you, open this bloody door before it falls down.’ With the way he was banging I seriously believed it would as well.

  Flashing an edgy glance at Kenny I reached for the lock and then biting my lip I tensed my body and cautiously opened my poor abused door.

  ‘Stella, thank fuck,’ Nathan said on a whooshed breath. Confusingly he looked rather relieved to have found me, but his relief was shortly replaced by flooding emotion again as his cheeks flushed and his eyes flashed around wildly. ‘Where’s your fucking phone? I’ve been trying to call you all day.’ My phone … good question. I hadn’t been expecting any calls so I didn’t have it with me, it was probably still in my bedroom shoved under my pillow on silent.

  At this point Kenny attempted to be my hero, bless him, by walking over to Nathan, puffing out his chest, placing his hands on his hips, and looking up at him. With Nathan being rather tall it was quite a long way up for Kenny, but I suspected that he did this partly for me, partly to get a closer look at my God of a man up close, and partly to impress his boyfriend who was now peering around the door frame watching us all with wide eyes.

  ‘I think you need to leave,’ Kenny said firmly, which was quite brave really seeing how emotional Nathan seemed – he was literally vibrating and twitching at the moment, but when Nathan ignored him Kenny took a step closer and I winced, not liking Kenny’s chances against Nathan’s strength one little bit.

  Thankfully Nathan didn’t hit him – in fact Kenny’s attempted intervention didn’t faze Nathan at all, he just placed a hand on Kenny’s chest and held him at arm’s length whilst Kenny’s legs kind of skidded on the spot in a rather cartoonish fashion as he tried and failed to get closer.

  As this bizarre scene unfolded in front of me Nathan’s icy blue eyes hadn’t left mine once, he merely stared intently at me unblinking, as if worried that I might vanish again before his very eyes. The sensation of his undiluted attention took my breath away and sent my body into a tail spin, as all the emotions of the last week reared up and engulfed me again, making my legs weak below me.

  ‘It’s Saturday, why aren’t you at my place? And why have you moved all your things out?’ Nathan demanded in a low tone between deep breaths. OK, time out. I might be overly emotional, but it’d be fair to say I was well and truly confused now. He was the one who had torn up our contract and removed my collar, but here he was seeming like he’d completely forgotten that he’d done it. Had he been in an accident? Maybe he had partial amnesia? I couldn’t think of any other logical reasons for his crazy behaviour.

  ‘Jesus, I’ve been going out of my fucking mind, Stella.’ He said suddenly on a huge whooshed breath, but at the moment I couldn’t respond, I felt beyond speech, I just couldn’t comprehend what was going on. One thing I did know, however, was that I didn’t want to discuss this in front of an audience, and with Kenny and his friend gleefully looking on like spectators at a tennis match I was suddenly very keen to get out of here.

  ‘I’m a little confused, Nathan …’ I started, but his mind was obviously in overdrive because his eyes flew open wide as his arms began to gesticulate wildly and he spoke over me.

  ‘You’re confused?’ he choked, looking even more unstable now. ‘You’re confused?!’ he repeated in a higher, almost warbled tone as if it needed repeating. Which it really didn’t, I’d heard him perfectly the first time.

  ‘Look … I think perhaps we need to go somewhere and talk?’ I suggested warily.

  ‘You’re damn right we need to talk.’ Brushing Kenny away like a fly Nathan strode straight past me and down the corridor into my bedroom, leaving me standing by the open door still utterly confused and staring after him. What was he doing now? Ignoring Kenny’s excited whispers to his boyfriend I pushed the door shut and quickly followed Nathan to my bedroom. Glancing suspiciously into the room I found him muttering nonsensically under his breath whilst shoving a random collection of things into my weekend holdall, his huge build and bristling tension seeming to dwarf m
y room to the size of a shoebox.

  ‘What are you doing?’ I questioned cautiously, thinking that Nathan might actually have lost his mind.

  ‘I’m taking your stuff back to my house. You’re moving in with me,’ He grumbled petulantly, stalking to my bookcase and practically sweeping the entire contents of the make-up shelf into the bag. My eyebrows flew up, not from his actions, but from his words - moving in with him? He really had lost his marbles.

  I stood frozen to the spot, now far too confused to form any logical sentences as he moved wordlessly past me into my en-suite. I heard the sound of more frantic packing coming from my bathroom and shook my head trying to clear my foggy confusion.

  Finally Nathan re-emerged, still with an unreadable expression on his face and now moving with the speed of a crazed tornado.

  ‘Uh, Nathan …’ I began, about to ask what the heck was going on, not to mention enquire what he was on about when he said I was moving in with him, but he spun in my direction and the distraught look on his face completely floored me and had me snapping my mouth shut in surprise.

  Wide blue eyes gazed back me, almost childlike in their desolate expression. It was difficult to tell, but he looked fearful, almost broken, as he continued to look at me, his lashes blinking long and slow as if he might even be fighting back tears. Holy shit, this sudden transparency in his emotions was confusing me even more. I was stunned into a frozen silence, my heartbeat hammering loudly in my ears making me feel giddy. I was torn between the urge to go to him and throw my arms around him, but terrified that I was reading this situation all completely wrong and that he might still reject me.

  Suddenly it was as if Nathan deflated before my eyes; a huge breath escaped his lungs as his shoulders slumped forwards, he dropped my bag to the floor with a loud clattering and then he leaned forwards to brace his palms on the doors of my wardrobe.

  Wincing I looked down at my bag. I’d be lucky if any of my cosmetics survived his hasty packing – in fact, after being dropped like that I wouldn’t be surprised at all to open the bag and just find a big powdery, sludgy mess smeared all over my clothes. Marvellous.

  Licking my lips I cautiously stepped towards Nathan and placed a hand tentatively on his shoulder. He acknowledged my touch with a small grunt, but didn’t shake me off as I had expected. Now that I was closer I could see how hard Nathan was fighting to hold himself together, whatever was going on here was clearly upsetting him just as much as it was me because he was breathing in and out through his nose so deeply that it flared his nostrils with every breath. It sounded like he was muttering numbers under his breath, counting down in sequence and just as I was about to speak again he reached zero and then turned to me.

  Rolling his shoulders back Nathan loosened off his neck with an audible click that made me wince and then bent to retrieve my holdall.

  ‘Pack some things, Stella,’ he murmured, then grimacing he closed his eyes added a quiet, ‘Please,’ to his sentence. ‘We need to talk and it’s getting late, bring a bag with you but if you don’t want to stay I’ll bring you home again afterwards.’

  My head couldn’t process things quick enough to protest and it felt too big for my body as I nodded my agreement and reached out to take the bag from his clenched fist.

  Moving the bag out of my reach Nathan used his free hand to place a thumb under my chin and tip it up so my eyes met his narrowed gaze. ‘When you answer me I expect it verbally, Stella, you know that,’ Nathan said in a low tone, which caused my gaze to snap up to his. What the heck? That had sounded much more like the Nathan I was familiar with. What was going on? I blinked at him several times and then licked my dry lips as I tried to calm my disorientated brain enough to think of what question to fire at him first.

  ‘Stella …’ he growled, obviously not liking being kept waiting by my confused silence.

  ‘Sorry … Sir,’ I whispered, adding his title because his sudden change in demeanour seemed to require it somehow. But after my two feeble words my mind ground to a halt and I was unable to vocalise anything more. My eyes were still locked with his though as I struggled with my confusion. ‘We’ll talk, Stella, but not here, your flat mate no doubt has his ear pressed to the door. Come on, grab a few things.’ I had no idea what to pack, as far as I had been concerned Nathan and I were finished, but his sudden appearance had made me question that, in fact I was just about questioning everything at the moment. Letting out a huge breath I opened my bag, shoved in a change of clothes and some clean underwear from my drawers, and then turned to leave.

  To my surprise Nathan was standing with both his hands gripped in his hair as if he were trying to pull great tufts out of it. Cocking his head to the side Nathan dropped his arms and inspected me closely, his eyes running up and down my body several times before he shook his head, blinked several times, and then took my hand in his huge, warm palm and proceeded to stride back through my flat towards the front door with me struggling to keep up with his long legs.

  As we reached the lounge I noticed with an eye roll that Kenny and his house guest were still standing looking rather shocked, but to be honest, I was too, so that that made three of us.

  As Nathan yanked open the front door Kenny made a grab for my free hand, trying to halt my exit which caused Nathan to turn and stare at him incredulously, his chest once again heaving and his eyes seeming to flash with jealousy at Kenny for even daring to touch me. As peculiar as these last ten minutes had been, Nathan’s apparent possessiveness over me further flared my optimism that perhaps he still wanted to be with me. Stowing these thoughts for later I quickly slid between the two of them before Nathan acted on his jealousy, or before Kenny wet himself in fear at Nathan’s rather impressive display of supremacy. His tall frame seemed even more striking than usual when compared to our small hallway and Kenny’s shorter height, and suddenly, even though given the current circumstances I shouldn’t have been, I found myself rather aroused by Nathan’s claiming behaviour.

  ‘Nathan, just give me one second, I’ll be right out’ I promised in what I hoped was a soothing tone. His eyes turned away from glaring at Kenny and visibly softened as they landed on me. Chewing on the inside of his lip he nodded, ‘Fine.’ Then scowling at Kenny he huffed from the apartment, taking my bag with him.

  I released a huge pent-up breath and turned to Kenny to find him giving me a ‘what the fuck’ look with his eyebrows raised.

  ‘I have no idea,’ I told Kenny as I rubbed my palms over my face and gripped the bridge of my nose, trying to calm myself, and wasn’t that just the truth, I was so confused my head was spinning, ‘But I’ll be fine Kenny. I’ll talk to Nathan and see what’s got into him. I’ll call you if I need you.’ I assured my bemused flatmate.

  ‘OK hun, if you’re sure?’ Kenny asked tentatively to which I nodded. ‘By the way, Stella, this might not be the time to mention it, but that man is smoking hot in the flesh, and boy does he know how to throw a sexy strop!’ Kenny gushed.

  Rolling my eyes I left my apartment to the sight of both Kenny and his friend grinning and fanning their flushed faces. Bloody hell, Nathan even had the ‘swoon effect’ on men, although given Nathan’s stunning looks and effortless sense of style he was exactly Kenny’s type so it wasn’t really surprising.

  The tension in the car as Nathan drove us to his apartment felt thick enough to cut with a knife, but I chose not to try and break the uncomfortable silence, Nathan was the one who had dumped me and then turned up at my place behaving like a deranged lunatic, so Nathan could be the one to explain himself first.

  To add to the completely bizarre situation the soothing tones of Chopin’s Nocturne No.9 were floating from the stereo, calm and lulling and at complete odds to the strained atmosphere between the two of us. His driving was pretty erratic too tonight, a far cry from his usual careful manoeuvres, but I didn’t dare mention that either, instead I clutched at the expensive stitching on the leather seat and hoped we’d get there in one piece.

 
As we pulled up to the gate of Nathan’s underground parking he drew the car to a sudden halt and banged the steering wheel several times with the heel of his hand in apparent aggravation. ‘Shit!’ he exclaimed, making me jump in my seat as I looked at him apprehensively and began to chew on my lip. Turning and seeing my anxiety his features marginally softened and he winced, ‘I’ve been away all week so I’ve got nothing in the house to eat, you head on up and I’ll go grab some food and a bottle of wine and be back as quick as I can.’

  I wasn’t hungry in the slightest, in fact the thought of eating when I was this nervous actually turned my stomach, but Nathan’s words weren’t a request, they were a demand and we both knew that regardless of how independent or stubborn I might usually be, at this point it would just be easier to go along with him rather than stamp my foot and argue back. With a heavy sigh and still feeling like aliens had stolen my brain, I climbed out in a daze and headed through the minimalistic entrance foyer towards the lift.

  Even though I usually didn’t come to Nathan’s place in between our weekends together it still felt weird walking in and seeing everything just as I’d left it, but knowing we were over. Or were we? After his dramatic performance at my flat I really had no idea, his sudden appearance had been so disorientating, not to mention his claims that ‘I was moving in with him’. Shaking my head I ran my hands over my face and tried to calm my rampaging heartbeat.

  Wandering down to my bedroom to keep my mind busy I stopped dead in the doorway as I looked at the scene in front of me. OK, so maybe not everything was quite as I’d left it. My mouth hung open as I comprehended what I was seeing, my room had been completely ransacked. What the hell? The bedsheets were flung back and tossed half on the floor, the empty drawers were tipped over and hanging from the unit, and the cupboard doors stood wide open showing the bare wardrobe with hangers scattered everywhere.