Edge of Awareness

by C. A. Popovich

  “Labor Day. I’m not working either. It does sound interesting, but my Frankie isn’t racing in any silly contest.”

  “No, I didn’t mean that. I just meant if you didn’t want to leave him at home. He can be on a leash and watch with us.” Dana wondered if it had been such a good idea to invite her after all. “Many of the dogs are obedience trained and compete in trials, but mostly they’re just pets that people bring to show off. There’s a veterinarian on site, and every dog has to show proof of vaccinations.”

  “Okay. We’ll see. What time is this running of the wieners?”

  “It starts at noon. I can swing by and pick you up about eleven.” After she offered the ride, Dana realized she didn’t know where she lived or if she should mention anything about her husband. She couldn’t remember Maria ever saying a word about him. All she knew for sure was that she had a son. “Will you be at your shop or is there somewhere else I’ll need directions to?”

  “Just pick me up at my salon. Thanks. This is a casual thing, right? I can wear jeans?”

  “Definitely. And bring your camera.”

  “I’ll see you next Monday, then. Oh…is there a fee for this?”

  “A whole two dollars for parking. I’ve got that covered.”

  Dana hung up, leaned back in her chair, and closed her eyes. She was looking forward to seeing Maria again but knew that it would be a constant battle with herself to maintain the friend-only boundary. She refolded the flyer and put it back in its envelope. She could do this.

  Chapter Seven

  “This is great, but I thought you said it was going to be inside.” Maria had never seen so many different colors and sizes of dachshunds. Most were standing on their hind legs, straining on the ends of their leashes, and they all seemed to be barking at nothing. She was glad all that barking wasn’t actually contained indoors.

  “That’s what the flyer said, but it’s such a beautiful day, they must have decided to move it outdoors.”

  “It is a gorgeous day.” She closed her eyes and turned her face to the warm late summer sun and cloudless sky. After a moment, she turned to find Dana gazing at her.

  “You’re gorgeous too, you know,” Dana said.

  “Thank you.” Maria hoped Dana thought the flush heating her cheeks was from the sun. Why was it that in less than two weeks, two women she hardly knew told her she was beautiful, and she couldn’t remember one of her two husbands commenting on a new outfit she wore, or even saying that she looked nice? Shifting from foot to foot, she focused on the commotion surrounding them. “I’m glad I didn’t bring Frankie. I wanted to see how all this works without worrying about him. He’s eight now, and I don’t want to stress him out.”

  “Yeah. It was probably for the best. Let’s find a seat. It looks like they’re getting ready to line up the contestants.” Dana grabbed her hand and led them through the crowd to claim a couple of spots on the bench of the bleachers. “These stands remind me of high school football games. I’m surprised at how many people are here. Must be because of the great weather.”

  Maria stared at their clasped hands. Dana hadn’t let go when they’d sat down and their fingers had easily intertwined. She’d held hands with her girlfriends before. She and Angie often held hands when they sang together in church. Why did this feel so different? Her palm tingled where it rested against Dana’s. Before she could contemplate what that meant, Dana pulled her hand away. Puzzled even more by the loss of connection, she sat dazed for a moment.

  “You okay? Are these seats all right?”

  Maria pulled herself out of her befuddlement. “Oh, yes. These are great.” She straightened her back and created a barrier between them by transferring her purse to her shoulder closest to Dana. “So, how does all this work?”

  “Well, the dogs are lined up at one end of the track they have set up.”

  She studied the grassy area where Dana was pointing. A tiny white picket fence surrounded white lines painted on the grass. The makeshift track couldn’t have been more than fifty feet long. “Someone holds the dogs at that end, and the owners line up on the other end of the track. When the announcer blows a whistle to signal the start of the race, they release the dogs and watch them run like crazy to their owners. The whole thing barely lasts a few minutes, but it’s a blast. You’ll see.”

  Maria pointed her camera at the line of dachshunds yelping and straining to get away from their handlers. As the seconds ticked by, they quivered with excitement and demanded release with intensified whining and barking. By the time they were set free, several had worked themselves up so much that they spun around in circles before running to the opposite end of the track. Nearly as excited as the dogs, the owners jumped up and down and called out the names of their pets. Some held out enticing treats and others their dog’s favorite stuffed animal. She laughed, took pictures, and clapped along with the rest of the spectators. She cheered for the short-legged chubby ones, so like her Frankie, as they lumbered down the track way behind the pack. She glanced over at Dana and saw that she was just as enthralled. Her blue eyes twinkled with delight as she turned to Maria and pointed to a young dog completely ignoring its owner and chasing after the other dogs.

  “You were right. This is a blast.” Maria leaned closer to be heard over the noise of the crowd. Dana smelled nice, like a summer morning after a rain.

  “Yeah. I love watching them. I think they’re having a blast too. Sort of like playtime in a playpen. Oh, look, that one jumped over the fence. Geez, now a couple more are following him.”

  “And here they come back. I think you’re right. They’re enjoying this. Maybe I will bring Frankie if they have this again. He might have fun.”

  “I’d be happy to hold him for you.”

  “Thanks, Dana. If you get a notice about another of these events, let me know.”

  “I will. I’d like to see what they have set up inside and leave my card with a few people. Would you mind walking around a bit?”

  “Not at all. I want to see what they have in there too.”

  Maria noted the distance Dana kept from her as they headed for the building, and felt irrationally saddened by it.

  She was confused, and if she were honest, a little frightened by the unfamiliar feelings. She realized, however, that she wanted to feel that connection again, scary or not.

  *

  Dana held the door to the community center open and resisted the urge to rest her hand on Maria’s lower back as she stepped inside. There were quite a number of people milling about, and she took note of the various vendors that had folding tables set up along the outer walls of the large room. Worn smooth in spots and speckled with dents and scratches, the aging gray vinyl tile floor looked like it’d seen better days. The cinderblock walls, however, appeared to be freshly painted. The afternoon sunlight glimmered through the few windows along the west side of the building. She caught the scent of a mixture of men’s aftershave and women’s perfume from the rapidly filling room.

  “Okay if we walk around the perimeter?”

  “Yeah. I’d like that. Can we start there? The table with the all-natural doggie treats?”

  “Sure.” Dana chuckled. “Sounds like as good a place as any.” She was glad Maria seemed to be enjoying the event. She scolded herself for giving in to her impulsive handholding during the race. It had just happened so naturally. And she liked it. It felt right.

  “Hey, Maria, I thought that was you.” A very attractive brunette in a white lab coat rushed across the room toward them. The woman slowed halfway to them and blatantly regarded Dana. The logo on her coat indicated she was a veterinarian. When she reached the area where they were standing, she grabbed Maria’s hands and brushed a kiss on her cheek. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Did you come to watch the race?”

  “Dr. Jay. Hi. This is a surprise. Yes, we came into the building to check out the vendors.” Maria looked uncomfortable with the attention, and Dana squelched a protective urge to step in front o
f her. The woman was leering at her, and although Dana didn’t want to interfere, she couldn’t let whoever this was make Maria feel uneasy. Before she could decide what to say, Maria made introductions. “Dr. Jaylin Meyers, this is my friend, Dana Langdon. Dana, this is Dr. Jay, Frankie’s vet.”

  “You must be the vet overseeing this event. I’m glad to meet you.” Dana relaxed a little when she noticed the doctor let go of Maria’s hands and take a step away from her. Before Dr. Jay could reply, another woman in a multicolored smock strode up to them. The woman regarded Dana with open curiosity, and Dana squirmed as her gaze traveled the length of her body.

  “This is my vet tech, Leanne. She volunteered to hang out and help me today if anything came up. Of course it didn’t, but you never know. Leanne, these are friends of mine, Dana and Maria.”

  Leanne eyed Maria suspiciously before turning to Dana. “Dana. It’s very nice to meet you.” Dana shuddered when the woman stepped closer, grabbed her arm, and whispered in Dana’s ear. “Hi, lover.”

  Dana glanced at Dr. Jay and Maria, confused. She had no idea why the woman would say that. She stepped back to distance herself and ignored the smirk on the woman’s face.

  “Nice to meet you too, Leanne. Maria and I were just heading over to check out the display tables.” She turned to Maria. “Are you ready?”

  Dr. Jay grabbed Leanne’s arm and pulled her away from Dana. “We need to check on a few of the older dogs before we leave. See you guys later. Come on, Leanne.”

  Dana watched them go with relief. She didn’t know how Maria felt about the lesbian thing, and Dana hadn’t come out to her, but maybe Maria knew her veterinarian was a lesbian. It was obvious to Dana that she was. Who the hell that Leanne was perplexed her. Maybe she’d mistaken her for someone else. She made her nervous, but more disturbing to her was the way she’d looked at Maria. Like she’d wanted to strangle her.

  “Would you mind if we got lemonade and sat for bit?” Dana asked.

  “Sounds good.”

  They made their way to the concession area, which consisted of a hotdog vender who also offered fresh lemonade, and sat at one of the round wooden tables with wobbly legs.

  “Are you okay?” Maria asked. Her brows were furrowed, and Dana caught the light scent of her perfume as she leaned toward her. “Did that Leanne woman threaten you?”

  “No. I think she mistook me for someone else.” Dana was captivated by Maria’s intensity. She saw her concern, but her eyes had flashed, what? Anger? Possessiveness? Jealousy? Dana doubted it. She shook off her uneasiness and tried to relax.

  “Maybe so.” Maria didn’t look convinced, but she dropped the subject. “So. Have you lived around here your whole life?”

  “Yes. I was born and raised in Port Huron. My mother and I moved to Marine City after my father died.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know your father died. That must’ve been hard.” Maria took Dana’s hand and gently squeezed it. Dana knew it was a gesture of consolation, but her body tingled at the innocent touch.

  She cleared her throat and withdrew her hand to hold her plastic cup. “It was. I was seventeen, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Mom’s still not over it. But what about you?”

  Maria shifted in her seat before speaking. “I was born in southern Ohio. My father is a Methodist minister, and my mother is the church’s secretary. I moved to Saint Clair and opened my shop six years ago. I love it here. I love the water. I’m an avid fisherman.”

  “Really? You fish?”

  “I do. The bigger the fish, the more fun it is to catch. Except catfish. I hate those.” Maria crinkled her nose and shook her head.

  Dana laughed and finished the last of her lemonade. “You ready to continue our browsing?”

  “Yeah. We never finished at the doggie treat’s table. I want to get one for Frankie.”

  *

  On the quiet ride home, Maria wrestled with her conflicting feelings. Dr. Jay’s enthusiastic greeting and Dana’s odd response to the doctor’s vet tech had thrown her. It almost seemed like they’d met before, but Dana had told her the grooming school used the local vet in Marine City, and that she’d never been to Dr. Jay’s clinic. Maybe she had mistaken Dana for someone else. But the tension between them was palpable. Maybe it was some sort of gay thing. Maybe Dana didn’t want her know she was seeing that woman. She was sure Dr. Jay was a lesbian after her invitation to dine and the way she’d grabbed her hands and had practically thrown herself at her. Her own response to it had surprised her. It wasn’t as though she had some proprietary claim on Dana, but she definitely did not like Leanne touching her. She had no idea why. It seemed when it came to Dana she was having all sorts of new feelings. She shook off the unfamiliar reactions and decided this might be a good opportunity to invite Dana to church.

  “Thank you for inviting me today. It was fun.”

  “I enjoyed it too. I’m sorry if I was a bit withdrawn at the end there. Your vet took me a little by surprise. She seems to like you a lot.”

  “Yeah. I think she’s a good vet and Frankie is comfortable with her, but I’ll admit she made me a little nervous today. Her vet tech seemed a little pushy. I don’t remember ever seeing her when I’ve taken Frankie in.”

  “Dr. Jay seems nice enough. Leanne was a little pushy, I agree. I’m not sure what to make of her, but I’ll bet she has me confused with someone else. Nothing to stress over.”

  Maria pushed aside her unrestrained thoughts of throwing Leanne into the current of the Saint Clair River and turned the conversation to safer topics. “I don’t think I’ve told you that I sing in a church choir.”

  “No. You never mentioned it. So you fish and you sing.”

  “Yep. I’m singing a solo next Sunday and I wondered if you’d like to attend the service with me?” Maria wrung her hands in her lap.

  “A solo, huh. I have to tell you, there’s a little church in Port Huron I’ve attended, but it’s been a few years. I’m not a religious person. My parents were agnostics. What time does it start?”

  “Ten o’clock. It lasts about an hour, unless the spirit is really moving. Then some people stay longer.”

  “Spirit moving. What does that mean?”

  “We’re an Assembly of God church. We believe that God speaks and the Holy Spirit moves through us. Sometimes it takes a while for us to recognize that it’s moving, and sometimes we feel it moving for hours.”

  “I’m not sure about all that, but I’d like to hear you sing. Do you have an e-mail address?”

  “No. I gave my computer to Justin when he went away to college. I can’t afford to replace it yet.”

  “Okay. Write down directions, or the address, and I can go to MapQuest. I’ll meet you there a little before ten.”

  Chapter Eight

  Dusk was just beginning to nudge out the sunshine when Dana pulled into her driveway. She parked her vehicle under the carport and checked to see that her mother’s car was in her reserved space. It was in the same position it had been when she left that morning. She should let her mom know she was home, but Dana didn’t have the energy to engage her mother just yet. She’d take some supper to her later. She trudged into her condo to start dinner, figure out why she’d agreed to go to church, and what she was going to do about Leanne.

  “Hey, kids.” The frantic wiggle of her fish never failed to make her smile when she prepared to sprinkle food into the tank. She walked back and forth in front of the one-hundred-gallon world she’d created for her freshwater angelfish, and laughed as they rushed to follow her from one end to the other. “Okay, no more teasing.” Dana measured out the food across the top of the water and watched as their little fish mouths gobbled up the flakes.

  “You guys are so uncomplicated. You eat, you swim, and you sleep. Are there other things you do when I’m not watching? Do you talk to each other, get in arguments, then make up? What happens if one of you falls for an unavailable one? Is that why you have occasional skirmishes? I guess you’re
not going to help me with my dilemma, are you? There has to be a better way to meet women. Maybe I’ll try that online dating site again, or that women’s potluck group I’ve heard of in the Detroit area.” Dana sat on her couch to wait for her tuna noodle casserole and to enjoy a few moments of serenity as she watched her fish finish their meal.

  It was close to eight o’clock when Dana knocked on her mother’s door. She cringed when there was no answer. Balancing her casserole dish in one arm, she used her key to unlock the door and push it open.

  “Mom? I brought dinner. Are you awake?” Dana set the dish down on the kitchen counter and made her way to her mother’s bedroom. She expected to find her mom passed out on the bed. But when she peeked into the room, her mother wasn’t there. “Mom? I brought dinner,” she repeated as she walked through the condo, hoping she wouldn’t find her fallen and hurt somewhere.

  Her mother emerged from the stairway. “I’m right here, Dana. I was downstairs going through some pictures. I’ve got boxes of them that I need to sort through and put into albums. What’d you bring for dinner? I’m getting hungry. It seems like I’ve been down there for hours. I’m going to fix myself a cocktail. Would you like one?” Her mother went into the kitchen to mix her drink.

  “No thanks, Mom. I’ll have some tea.” She followed her mother to the kitchen and sat at her kitchen table. Maybe working on those pictures would keep her from starting to drink earlier in the day. Dana yearned to believe her mother would try to sober up, but she didn’t dare count on it.