Adore You

by Nicole Falls

  “So that’s it? Oh wait…you don’t wanna say it first. Well, well, well, wait ‘til I tell CadyMac she was right.”

  “I don’t know what you’re…” she trailed off, eyes glazing over as she stiffened in my embrace.

  She made a move to step out of my arms, but I held tightly to her waist with my left hand, while using the right to regain eye contact.

  “I want you to be looking at me when I say this so you know it’s real. I love you, Devorah Nicole Lee.”

  “Scoot? Devvy? I thought that was you all!” I heard a familiar voice say.

  “Mama?”

  I turned around to see my parents standing about fifteen feet behind us in line. What in the hell were they doing in Vegas? Bee quickly pulled out of my embrace, looking like her worst nightmare had come true. My mother talked her way closer to us, asking folks if they’d mind her and my father moving ahead of them in line so that they would not have to shout past them to talk to us. By the time my parents had reached us, Bee looked like she wanted to be anywhere but in this line.

  “See EJ, I told you that was my boy. I’d recognize that head anywhere,” my mother said, pulling me into a quick hug before moving over to hug and speak with Bee. I couldn’t hear their conversation, but from the look on Devorah’s face I knew it was anything but good.

  “What are y’all doing in Vegas, Pops? You didn’t mention anything about going out of town last time I saw you.”

  “This was your mother’s doing. Some last minute thing she put together talking ‘bout she wanted to see Celine Dion before her residency ended. We got here and found out the damn show was going to be around ‘til 2019. Your mother must have heard wrong on the program she was watching.”

  He looked none too pleased about being in Vegas or seeing Celine Dion. I knew my father well enough to know that whatever Miranda Taylor wanted, Miranda Taylor got. So though he grumbled and seemed agitated with being here, I knew he was secretly pleased that he was able to keep his lady smiling.

  “Scooter…I told Devvy we should see if you all’s private gondola can fit two more. We were gonna be riding with strangers, but isn’t this great that we’re all here together now?”

  Turned out that the private gondolas were the same size as the regular gondolas, so all four of us piled in to set off on the short ride. My parents sat on the side of the boat near the gondolier and I tried to usher Bee to the other set of seats, but she jerked away as soon as I touched her arm. She’d been quiet as we waited, but the tension emanating from her was palpable. My mother had hemmed the gondolier up with small talk before we pushed off, so I turned to Bee.

  “Hey,” I said, nudging her arm to get her to look at me.

  “Don’t fucking hey me. How could you?” she whispered.

  “How could I what? What are you talking about?”

  “Oh so they just happened to be here? And taking a gondola ride at the same time as us? I’m supposed to believe this is all coincidence? I can’t believe you would do this to me.”

  Wait…what? She could not have possibly thought that I set this all up. Why in the hell would I? I told her I would give her time to be comfortable with rolling our relationship out to the family on her terms. What would I stand to gain by forcing her into it? Nothing but the grief I was currently getting.

  “What are you two lovebirds over there whispering about?” my mother asked, grinning widely.

  “Sir?” Bee snapped, seeking the attention of the gondolier, “Can we go ahead and get this over with?”

  A bit taken aback, the gondolier shoved off the dock and began paddling while singing in slightly broken Italian. Bee sat with her arms folded, body angled away from the rest of us, staring out into the faux Venetian canals. My mother tried to engage her a couple times, but her answers were terse and super short. When the ride came to an end, she barely waited for the gondolier’s okay to disembark from the boat before she climbed over me, taking off. She ran through the casino at a clip and I tried in vain to catch her. Guess I should have been working harder on cardio instead of weights in the gym because she dusted me. By the time I’d reached the main entrance, she was in a cab, presumably headed back to our hotel. I shot Trey a quick text letting him know we wouldn’t be making it to the after party and got in a cab to the Drake.

  I walked into a dark, empty suite. I flipped on the lights and saw that everything was exactly as it had been when I left, so Bee hadn’t been here at all. There was at least ten minutes between her cab taking off and me actually being able to get one, so there’s no way I could have beat her back. I called, but she didn’t answer. Sent her a text immediately after for her to let me know she was okay. I took an elevator down to the casino level to see if she was down there in the bar area, but she was nowhere to be found. I even asked a few of the workers if they had seen her and no one had. Half an hour passed and I still hadn’t heard from her. By this time I was crazy with worry because she hadn’t responded to any of my texts and was, by all accounts, missing. I knew she wasn’t upset enough to just go straight to the airport without luggage or anything, so she would have to come back to the room eventually—unless she was hurt or injured in some way. I tried to put the thought of her being in harm’s way out of my mind and decided to wait it out before I got the local authorities involved.

  While I waited, my mother called to make sure everything was okay with Bee. She wanted to go to the police immediately, but my father talked her down. I filled her in on what I’d walked back into and my game plan. She also admitted that the reason that they were in Vegas wasn’t just to see Celine. Apparently she had her suspicions that I was seeing someone and would be bringing whoever it was to Vegas with me for the wedding. She and those friends of hers cooked up this harebrained scheme to come out here and accidentally bump into me in the hotel. She knew the wedding was at the Venetian thanks to creeping on Trey’s Facebook, but had no idea I wasn’t actually staying there. Convincing my dad to take her on the gondola ride was coincidental, but fortuitous on her end. She had been shocked when she realized my mystery lady was Devorah.

  Another half an hour had passed when I finally heard the door to the suite open. I rushed toward the front of the suite, pulling Devorah into a hug, relieved that was she was safe and sound. I asked where she had been, but there was no response. She angrily pushed out of my embrace, stepping around me, as she walked toward the bedroom area of the suite.

  “Really, Bee? Silent treatment? Real mature…”

  She shot me a look meant to pierce my soul as she moved around the gathering her belongings and stuffing them in her bag.

  “So you’re really not going to talk to me?”

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “You could start with telling me why you ran off like a crazy woman and had me worried sick about your goddamn whereabouts for the past ninety minutes. That would be perfect, in fact.”

  “How about you start with why the hell you set me up? Let’s start there. Did you Google ‘how to force your girlfriend into revealing your relationship to disapproving parents’? Is that where this ridiculous idea of having your mom and dad pop up on us came from?”

  “You can’t be serious. Why in the hell would I have orchestrated this? What could I stand to gain?”

  “I have no idea what you had in mind. Just like your brother, two slithering, sneaky snakes ass dudes. You probably were the main one telling him to fuck around on Cass. Lulling me into a false sense of security.”

  “You realize you’re making no sense, right? Why are you talking about Cass and Ev? What do they have to do with you being mad that you erroneously thought I intentionally asked my parents to show up in Vegas? This is silly. You’re being dramatic.”

  “This isn’t silly nor am I being dramatic. What part of…wait, why am I even still talking to you?”

  She resumed throwing things in her bag, scrambling to ensure she left nothing behind.

  “Devorah…let’s just take a time out.”

>   “Fuck a time out. I’m just out period.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Don’t worry about where I’m going.”

  “You need to calm down before you leave to go anywhere.”

  Devorah kept walking toward the front door of the suite. Before striding out of the door, she turned back to me and said, “Do me a favor. Erase my existence from your consciousness.”

  Six weeks later…

  “Well aren’t you a sorry sight.”

  “Immy!”

  Those words floated over my shoulder from the last voices I wanted to hear. I’d been doing a really good job at avoiding one of them for the past few weeks, feigning work deadlines and fatigue every time she called. The other I hadn’t seen since that fateful night in Vegas and was sure she had an earful for me. They, along with my Aunt Berta barged into my living room with Cadence trailing behind them, looking contrite.

  “I was gonna ask how y’all got in here, but…”

  “Sorry, sis. I was ambushed.”

  “So naturally you set me up for the same?”

  I was actually surprised that it took them this long to come ream me out. My mama and her friends were an opinionated bunch and I just knew that after Auntie Randi rolled up on Ellis and I in Vegas that I would be hearing from Imogene Landon-Lee immediately. But beyond her normal wellness checks, my mama hadn’t said a word to me about whatever Ellis and me…were. We hadn’t spoken since Vegas, despite his initial attempts to talk some sense into me. I had it in my brain that I had been bamboozled, hoodwinked and led astray, so his words fell on deaf ears. A few weeks of space, perspective, and clarity soon had me realizing that I’d fucked up royally. My pride, however, wouldn’t allow me to admit that mistake to him. Instead I replayed that night in my head over and over, berating the choices I made that led to this fucked up mess of a lonely life I was now committed to.

  While we were standing in line for the gondolas, I saw the profile of an older couple that looked vaguely familiar join the line about fifteen folks behind us. The man in the couple turned his head and my worst fears were confirmed, it was Auntie Randi and Uncle EJ. Uncle EJ and I made eye contact immediately and I saw him try to deflect Auntie Randi’s attention, talking her out of the gondola ride. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but his words were clearly not being absorbed as Auntie Randi stood her ground in the line. As the line shifted, I tried to put some space between us, but Ellis was insistent on keeping his hands on me. I swear I must have blacked out because the only thing I remember after that was Auntie Randi and Uncle EJ popping up right behind us in line. Ellis’ declaration of love barely registered as his mom and dad appeared over his shoulder, catching us in a definitely more than friendly embrace.

  After that was the world’s most awkward gondola ride with me, El, Aunt Randi and Uncle EJ. The ride was maybe ten minutes total, but it felt like ten years. Not many words were exchanged and as soon as we got back to the dock, I hopped out of that gondola and took off. Ellis tried in vain to chase behind me, but I ran like the hounds of hell were chasing me. I had no particular destination in mind; I just knew I needed to get the hell out of there. I ended up sitting in front of the fountain at the Bellagio for an embarrassingly long amount of time staring at the water and wondering how I could have missed what appeared to be an obvious set up. It could not have just been coincidence that the one weekend we were in Vegas, Ellis’ parents just happened to be there as well. And also happened to be going on a gondola ride when we were. I felt incredibly betrayed and set up when he knew my feelings about revealing our relationship to our parents.

  When I finally made it back to our suite at the Drake, Ellis looked completely ashen. His relief at me finally making my way back quickly turned to anger as we argued about his parents magically appearing. I called him everything but a child of God as I went on and on about him being a snake in the grass lowlife just like his little brother. After telling him to erase my existence from his consciousness, I haphazardly packed my bag and went straight to the airport, trying to get as far away from that disaster as quickly as possible.

  It took coming home and talking it through with Celena and Cadence to allow me to see what a colossal mistake I’d made. I was so quick to think the worst of Ellis that I hadn’t considered the possibility of anything, but him bullying me into doing this relationship on his terms. I’d placed all of his previous concessions aside, wholly convinced that he was placing his wants and needs above my own, at my expense. I’d spent the weeks since Vegas throwing myself into work; weeknights and weekends spend lazing around on my couch watching HGTV and SVU alternately. In the beginning Ellis contacted me frequently trying to get me to see his side, but I was just too embarrassed by the way I’d handled myself to even talk to him. Cade told me I needed to get over myself and follow my bliss, but by the time I’d decided to do just that, El was no longer picking up the phone.

  So this delayed ambush or intervention by my mama and her friends was just odd to me, honestly. I had no idea what to even expect with them showing up.

  “So you done feeling sorry for yourself or what?” my mother asked.

  “Imogene, must you be so…”Auntie Randi started.

  “Must you be an asshole? That is really what she wanted to know, Imogene?” Auntie Berta interrupted.

  “Well not in those exact words, but yes…that.”

  “Oh please, Devorah is a grown woman. She should be able to handle anything I’ve got to say. I mean by this point she has to know she was a damn fool.”

  A fool? Color me shocked, but that is certainly the last thing I ever expected to hear coming out of my mother’s mouth. Jezebel, harlot, skank, or brotherfucker all would have been more expected than fool.

  “So are y’all gonna keep talking about me like I’m not here or…?”

  “Depends on whether or not you’re gonna get yourself together and tell me why you’ve broken my baby’s heart and how you’re gonna fix your screw up.”

  My eyebrows rose damn near to my hairline. I expected the sass from my mother, but not from Auntie Randi. She was the most even keeled of the three. Mama was the asshole. Auntie Berta was the straight shooter. All four women in the room stared at me with expectant looks on their faces. My shock gave way to confusion as I realized that the wrath I thought I’d face from them regarding starting a relationship with Ellis was nowhere to be found.

  “Well?” my mom prompted.

  “Time out. Y’all are mad at me for…what exactly?”

  “I have no idea of why the other ladies are upset with you, but as for me? Three reasons — the first being that you didn’t feel like you could trust me enough to tell me that it was Ellis you were dating when I specifically asked you about your love life. I understand your hesitance because of the mess that happened with that other young man, but I thought that was water under the bridge. Secondly, I’m mad that you broke that boy’s heart. I was at Randi’s for Sunday dinner last week and he looked like someone had stolen his bike or kicked his puppy. You know I look at those boys like my own sons and to know he was in pain because of my child just about killed me. And lastly…I didn’t raise no punk. So I know good and well you have realized your mistakes and want to get back with that boy, but are over here cowering in fear because you think it’s too late. I’m pissed that you’re a coward and I’m hurt that you didn’t trust me enough to bring this to me, but instead chose to dodge my calls and act like your lil raggedy life really had something going on.”

  My mother stopped her rant to take a breath and Auntie Randi took over. Her voice was devoid of the previous irritation when she addressed me again. My guess would be the tears that I was unable to tamp down during my mother’s rant were the reason that she switched over to her normal, gentle tone when she asked me one question.

  “So what are you going to do?”

  I took a couple minutes to get myself together, trying to control my breathing enough to speak without bursting into sobs. Cadenc
e moved from her spot on my chaise, to wrap an arm around my shoulder, patting it in a comforting manner. I was finally able to calm down a little bit before I spoke.

  “I…I don’t know. I really messed this all up.”

  “Baby, why did you think you had to lie to everybody?” my mother asked, her tone more conciliatory than before.

  I shrugged, “I thought you wouldn’t approve.”

  Because that is what everything boiled down to, honestly. I was so concerned with how things would appear to them, not even taking into consideration that they would place our happiness above all else. I had already had it in my mind that I would be condemned for dallying with both of Auntie Randi’s sons. Never mind the fact that Everett and I hadn’t been with each other in over ten years nor that what Ellis and I shared was the closest thing to the real thing than I’d ever felt in my life. It was all about how I thought I would be perceived. I never once took into consideration how all of this affected him. He was so affable, rolling with the punches and accepting my ridiculous ass rules that I didn’t even think about the fact that he too was charged with lying to his parents and keeping up a charade for no reason. Sitting here being lectured about breaking his heart just made me feel worse, honestly.