by Sara Orwig
* * *
Thirty minutes later, she sat in a rocker in Scotty’s room while he brought her a book. As she picked him up, Mike crossed the room in quick strides.
“You shouldn’t be lifting him.”
“I’m fine. Mike, pregnant women have been lifting little kids since the beginning of time,” she said, settling Scotty in her lap. He had had a bath and wore soft pajamas. He smelled like soap and was small and warm in her arms. “It’s been a fun day, hasn’t it?” she asked, giving him a slight hug.
“Yes, ma’am,” he answered politely. He opened a book for her to read. As she read, he played with her hair. She was aware of Scotty studying her and she wondered what he was thinking. She was also aware Mike sat quietly in a wing-back chair and watched them as she read. Was he wishing it was Elise instead? She wouldn’t blame him. He’d had a happy marriage.
As soon as she finished, Scotty picked up another book. “Will you read this one?”
“Scotty, she read one,” Mike said.
“I’ll read it,” she said. “I’d love to.” Scotty smiled at her. As she read, Scotty continued to play with locks of her hair, winding them around his fingers. Once she glanced up as she turned the page and met Mike’s steady gaze. He had a solemn expression as he watched her. She looked down to continue her reading. The moment she read The End Scotty picked up another book.
“Thank you. Will you please read this one?”
“Scotty,” Mike said, standing.
She waved her hand at him. “One more, Mike. These stories are fun,” she said, looking at Scotty who smiled at her.
“Scotty, this is the last one,” Mike stated firmly. “It’s getting late and you’ve had a long day.”
“Yes, sir,” he said, happily snuggling in Savannah’s arms and looking expectantly at his book as she began to read.
When she finished, his eyes were almost closed, but he looked up at her. “Thank you,” he said.
“Tell Miss Savannah good-night,” Mike instructed.
“Good night,” Scotty said. He wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her, kissing her cheek.
Startled, she hugged him lightly in return and brushed his cheek with a kiss. “Night, Scotty. Today was lots of fun. It’s nice to be here with you and your daddy.”
Scotty smiled at her as Mike leaned close, taking Scotty from her, for a brief moment causing her to be intensely aware of Mike, his aftershave, his hand brushing her leg as he picked up his son, his face only inches from her. “I’ll put him in bed.”
As soon as Mike stepped away, she stood and watched him kiss his son on his forehead. Leaving them, she walked into the playroom adjoining Scotty’s bedroom. Scotty was adorable and she had had a wonderful day with father and son. She hurt for Mike and Scotty losing a wife and mother, which made her problems loom a lot smaller. Even though her breakup had hurt badly, she had wanted to break off with Kirk.
She couldn’t let herself fall in love with Mike, who was still very much in love with Elise, mourning his loss and wrapped in his own problems. She hoped the coming storm would blow through quickly or pass them by altogether so she could go on her way because Mike’s attractiveness grew daily.
She looked around the room that had murals of storybook characters and a decor of bright and cheerful primary colors that she guessed Elise had selected. There was a laptop, electronic games and a huge toy box with a lid that closed everything from sight. Framed pictures of Mike, Elise and Scotty were on shelves while a large oil of Elise holding Scotty hung on one wall. It was a touching, beautiful picture. As she looked at it, she felt certain Mike would never love anyone else or marry again. He kept memories of Elise in every room in the house, talked about her, obviously still loved her to the point he didn’t want any other woman in his life. She didn’t think he would change and she could understand. Living out on the ranch with just Scotty and people who worked for him probably helped support that love.
Mike came out. “Scotty is already asleep and the monitor is cranked up, so we can go watch a movie or just talk. Or we can play tennis if you want. I have an indoor tennis court.”
She smiled. “Maybe I should ask what you don’t have.”
“I’m very well equipped,” he said, giving a double meaning to his words.
“I believe you and we don’t need to pursue that one further,” she said, laughing.
“It’s nice to have you around,” he said. “You brighten things up around here.”
“Thank you. Since you’re stuck with me, I’m glad you feel that way. Let’s try the tennis because except for building the snowman, all we’ve done is sit around.”
“Speak for yourself. I’ve been out on the ranch part of the day and giving Scotty a bath is a chore.”
“I know Scotty is company, but don’t you get lonesome here all by yourself?”
“No. Ray and the boys are here and I can walk down to the bunkhouse and get in a poker game or on nice evenings when Mrs. Lewis is here, I join them at the corral to ride some of the horses that really aren’t broken in yet. We’ve even got an old bull that they ride sometimes. I’ve done that and then I’m ready to come up here and have some peace and quiet. I read, work on keeping my records of ranch expenses or I work out. I keep busy.”
“I’m surprised local women don’t come out to visit.”
“They have, but I don’t do anything much without Scotty and that seems to discourage the ones who have dropped in on me.”
“That surprises me. Scotty is adorable.”
“Miss Neonatal Nurse, you said you like children. Not everyone is quite that enthusiastic about a one-or two-year-old.”
“I’ve found that out the hard way when I told Kirk I’m pregnant and his hateful reaction really cut. I never expected him to react that way.”
“That is finding out the hard way. Your brothers might be angry with him. If a man did my sister that way—I know how my brothers and I would feel.”
“As I told you, my family is centered on children with my four nieces and nephews.”
“That’s nice. That’s why you’re good with kids. Scotty likes you.”
“I’ll bet Scotty likes everybody.”
“No, no. I’ve had some women come by when he was a baby. He didn’t take to them and vice versa. Needless to say, those women and I didn’t see much of each other. If you want to play tennis, we better change shoes. There’s no running around the court in my boots or the shoes you’re wearing. I’ll go back and change shoes and meet you here in the hall.”
She headed into her room to change into a T-shirt, shorts and her tennis shoes, and when she stepped out of her suite, Mike was waiting. She noticed that he glanced from her head to her toes.
“Do you have a monitor on the court?” she asked as they went downstairs.
“Yes, and I can hear Scotty on it easily. Turn right at the corner. This wing of the house has been built onto the back. I’ve thought about an indoor pool, but I’m waiting until Scotty is older and can swim. That’s something I don’t want to have to worry about when I’m away from the house.”
They walked past open doors and she saw an exercise room with equipment. They passed a large theater room with a huge screen, big leather recliners and small stands to hold drinks. Mike turned into another spacious room with a tennis court.
“This is a first. My first experience with an indoor tennis court except in a school gym.”
He stood close and his dark eyes twinkled. “We could make it another first experience while we’re in here,” he said in a deeper voice.
“Mike, stop flirting,” she said lightly. “I’ve had enough firsts—first time I’ve been in Texas. First time I’ve been in West Texas. First snow cowboy I’ve helped build. First kiss by a Texas cowboy,” she said, knowing she was flirting back with him and she
should stop. “First time I’ve stayed on a ranch. First time I’ve ever gone home with a Texan. I think that’s enough.”
“That isn’t nearly enough,” he said. “I can give you some far more interesting firsts. We’ll get back to your list later.”
“You just stick to tennis.”
They spent the next hour playing tennis and she had the feeling that he was deliberately trying to let her win. She suspected he politely held back. Whether he did or not, she had fun and it felt good to move around and be active.
“Let’s go get cold drinks, and we can sit and talk,” he suggested when the match was over.
Back in the family room, Mike built a fire and they both kicked off their shoes and sat on the floor. He had turned on music, and it played softly in the background.
Later, when a fast song played, Mike took her drink from her hands and set it on a table beside his, leading her over where carpet didn’t cover the hardwood floor. “Let’s dance,” he said.
Mike was a good dancer, which didn’t surprise her, and she had fun dancing with him. She watched him, moving with him, his dark eyes constantly on her. Even though she barely knew him, she was going to remember him for a long time—no way would she forget him in a few days as she thought she might once she got to California. When the music changed again to a slow number, he caught her hand and began the next dance holding her in his arms.
Her heartbeat quickened and she looked away, scared what his perceptive gaze might see in her eyes. Dancing close in his arms made her think of his kisses and stirred longings better left undisturbed.
As they danced, she looked outside. Lights were on the yard and patio, and she could see snowflakes falling. “Mike, it’s snowing.”
“I know,” he said, turning to look outside while they moved slowly together. “We’re getting a lot of snow tonight. I’ll need to get out in the morning to help the guys again. The animals need attention in this kind of weather even more than usual. I can call Millie and Baxter about dropping Scotty off at their house to watch him or—”
“Leave him with me. It didn’t seem to startle him to get up and find you gone.”
“No, it won’t. That’s the usual way when Mrs. Lewis is here with him. He’s accustomed to being with his nanny.”
“In the morning, go see about your animals and whatever else you have to do.”
“Thanks. The best thing about more snow is, you’ll be here longer with us. Scotty and I will both like that.”
She smiled. “Thank you. That’s polite, but I didn’t mean to move in.”
“You can move in with me any old time,” he said in a husky voice that stirred tingles.
“What’s the old saying, ‘Fish and houseguests get old after three days.’”
“Doesn’t apply in the case of a beautiful, fun blonde.”
“Thanks for making me feel wanted because you’re stuck with me.”
“You’re wanted, Savannah,” he said in a deeper tone that changed the moment for her.
She drew a deep breath as he stopped dancing, and she looked up into his brown eyes filled with unmistakable desire. Mike’s dark gaze melted away logic and resistance. What she wanted most was for Mike to kiss her. Longing for his kiss dominated her feelings while the wisdom to keep her distance vanished. Responding to him would bring trouble into her life, but at the moment she didn’t care.
Four
Mike’s temperature jumped as desire shook him. His gaze went over her silky skin, her rosy cheeks and full lips that at moments were temptation. His love was for Elise and he wanted to resist Savannah, for his sake and for hers. He wasn’t in love with her and wouldn’t be, so he should squelch the lusty feelings she evoked. Any lovemaking would be temporary, unfair to her because she was vulnerable now and could get hurt emotionally.
In spite of knowing who filled his heart, he wanted to wrap his arms around Savannah and kiss her. Her blond hair fell across her shoulders and he imagined winding his fingers in it. Far more, he longed to feel her softness against him while he kissed her again. As he gazed into her big blue eyes, she inhaled deeply, her lips parting.
Knowing she felt something sent his temperature soaring. She responded to the slightest look. Unable to resist, he slid his arm around her waist. “Savannah,” he whispered.
Even though his conscience screamed to resist, he drew her into his embrace. He’d told her that kisses were meaningless, insignificant, a delightful way to spend a cold winter’s night together. While tinged with guilt, he still felt that way. He wasn’t into commitment or any serious involvement and he had made that clear, but this was the first time since his loss that he had wanted a woman, wanted to hold her and kiss her and have her return his kisses. Savannah was bringing him back to life, back into the world, something he didn’t know would ever happen again and tonight he was caught in the attraction.
Whatever they found together, it would be as fleeting for her as for him. They had disconnected lives and would go their separate ways, so there was little risk now of having the heart involved for either one of them. She didn’t want to be attracted to him, yet she was, but it had to be as purely physical as what he felt. Looking into her wide blue eyes, his heartbeat drummed as he drew her to him while his arm tightened around her waist.
“I can’t stop wanting you,” he admitted, fighting a steady inner battle. “In some ways I’m glad you’re here in my house, in my arms,” he whispered. He leaned closer to cover her mouth with his in a kiss that set his heart pounding.
He felt locked into blue depths, drawn to her, wanting her softness. Her lips were warm, incredibly soft, yet a hot brand searing him, intensifying the attraction they each felt.
He wanted her more than ever—a response that startled him. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she held him tightly, pressing against him. Her kisses heightened his longing and increased his excitement. He leaned over her, kissing her passionately while he yielded to desire.
Continuing to kiss her, he picked her up and carried her to the sofa to sit with her on his lap. After a few minutes she leaned away from him. “Mike, I can’t. I don’t want any kind of attraction to draw me into another mistake. I’m not ready for an affair or another complication in my life. I’ve made one huge mistake in judgment. I don’t want to make another now. I already hurt. This I don’t need,” she whispered, the words spilling out as if she were arguing with herself. “My emotions will get caught up and I’m not ready at all. You’re not, either. This is lust totally—lust and maybe a little loneliness, just physical needs.”
“You’re right, but it’s nice to feel alive again for even a few minutes. You need me, Savannah, as much as I need you. We’ll help heal each other’s wounds in a physical way. We may not be able to reach deeper, but this is a consolation, a temporary bonding. The void in my life is monumental and at this moment, you fill part of it,” he replied.
“I can’t deal with more hurtful complications. I can’t bond with anyone else now. I really can’t get involved. I just can’t do it,” she whispered. “My body is changing and my life is changing. I have too much to deal with. You’re thinking a few kisses, but sometimes they can turn into something more. I don’t need another emotional upheaval.”
She slid off his lap and walked away from him. With a pounding pulse, Mike watched her as she pulled herself back together. Knowing he should do the same, he stretched and stood, walking to the window, giving her space and letting things cool between them.
He ached with wanting her—part was pure lust, just being so long without a woman’s love, part was wanting Savannah. She had brought joy and warmth into his life. He didn’t want to do anything to hurt her, which meant he needed to back off and leave her alone, for himself as well as for her.
When she left, he would tell her goodbye and not expect to see her again. If she was one of thos
e who could easily fall in love, then it was best for both of them to keep their distance.
After a time she came to stand beside him. “The snow is beautiful, but it’s going to cause a lot of delays. I know that firsthand.”
“You don’t have to be in California at any certain time and we’re enjoying having you. Even if we don’t kiss, in some ways you’re bringing me to life, Savannah,” he said, turning to her.
“Please don’t tell me things like that. My emotions get all tangled up in what I do, and I can’t view an affair as purely physical,” she added as he placed his hands on her shoulders. “My ex-fiancé was hateful, mean. You’re a warm, kind, appealing, sexy man, so your friendliness can capture my love easily. I don’t have defenses right now. I’ve been hurt, and someone nice seems like Mr. Super Wonderful. I don’t want to fall in love and you don’t want that, either.”
“You don’t have to explain why you feel the way you do. We’ve agreed that neither of us needs another tangle in our lives. There’s no affair and we’ve barely kissed,” he said, thinking the word barely didn’t apply to her kisses. He draped his arm across her shoulders and hugged her gently, then stepped away. “Want to just sit in front of the fire and talk?” he asked, not trusting himself to go back to dancing with her.
“Sure,” she said, flashing him a smile that made him want to pull her into his arms and kiss her again. He had done what she wanted and sounded casual about it, but it wasn’t working out casually for his libido. He wanted to kiss her, to make love to her and to hold her the rest of the night. His gaze ran over her features, her thickly lashed big eyes and rosy lips. Her blond hair was silky and just looking at her took his breath and made him want to reach for her again.
“Mike?” she asked, tilting her head to gaze at him intently.
“Sorry, lost in my thoughts,” he said. His voice was husky and desire threatened his self-control and intentions. But in minutes he had better control, focusing on listening to her talk about growing up in Hot Springs.
While they sat and talked, she tried to keep their conversation impersonal and avoid flirting. Mike seemed relaxed, yet she was aware of his dark gaze on her constantly. Sometimes he would flirt, but they both kept it light.