by Sara Orwig
“Mike, you said Scotty’s birthday is coming up.”
“It’s Friday. He’s too little for a kid party, and we don’t move in kid circles like someone who lives in town, so the celebration will be family only. You’ll meet his aunts and uncles. Elise’s parents live in Boston so they won’t be here for the party, but they’ll put in a Skype call to Scotty.”
“His birthday is days away—I don’t think I’ll be here that long.”
He smiled at her. “In a hurry to go?”
“No, I didn’t mean that,” she said, feeling her face flush.
“I know you didn’t. Besides the problem of the snow and ice, the temperatures are supposed to stay below freezing for the next four days and there may be more snow this week. Your car caught on fire—no telling what has to be done to fix it. You might even be here past Scotty’s birthday. If it turns out that you need to stay for a few more days anyway, I hope you’ll stay for his birthday, too. He likes you or he never would have kissed you.”
“That makes me happy.”
“It made me happy,” he admitted, thinking about watching her with Scotty. But was that entirely true? He had mixed feelings. As she’d read to Scotty, Mike had one of those gut-wrenching moments when he missed Elise. Elise should be rocking Scotty and holding him, and it hurt badly to see another woman with his son. By the next book Savannah had read, though, he had a grip on his emotions and a fleeting thought came that Scotty liked Savannah. She was winning his son’s friendship, which was nice.
They were quiet with the only sound the fire crackling as logs burned. Finally, Mike turned to her again. “Savannah, this is changing the subject, but don’t you want your mother around and your family near when you have your baby? You won’t have a husband, and in California, you have only your aunt.”
Savannah studied him so long that he tilted his head. “What?” he asked. “What haven’t you told me?”
“Oh, gee. I feel as if you can just read my thoughts. The truth is that the only other person in my family who knows that I’m pregnant is my mother. I haven’t told you about my brothers—they’re very protective of their families and their little sisters. They can get physical. Frankly, I was afraid they would beat up my former fiancé.”
“There’s a law against that.”
“Might be, but they all know each other really well. If they did, I’m not sure he’d sue. He might do something through business that would hurt them—that would be more his style. I just wanted some time to pass so they’re calmer when they find out about my baby. Besides that, they are just old-fashioned enough to demand that he ‘do right by me.’ Even if Kirk did want to ‘do the right thing,’ I wouldn’t marry him and I wouldn’t want them pressuring me to accept. They’re really old-fashioned. They’re worse than my dad who will be bad enough when he finds out. I may go home after a couple of months in California because I’d rather be surrounded by family.”
“Are your brothers going to show up on my doorstep?”
“No,” she said, smiling at him. “I promise you that you’re quite safe. Until yesterday you were no part of my life, and for them, you don’t exist. Besides, when they hear about you, they’ll be grateful to you for the help you gave me. If they ever did show up, it would just be to thank you.”
“Does your ex-fiancé know he might have to face their ire?”
“I imagine he has a good idea. He knows them.”
“Then he won’t be caught off guard and taken by surprise?”
“No, he won’t. I hadn’t thought about that. He’ll probably take some precautions, like leaving town for a while. Right now, my brothers don’t know anything. They think I broke off the engagement because I just got cold feet about getting married. They probably expect me to get over it and come right back to him.”
“Won’t they be angry whenever they learn the truth?”
“Mom and I don’t think so. She thinks they’ll be accustomed to me not being engaged to him. At first they won’t know it’s his baby.”
“Pity whoever they think the father is.”
“I’ll see to it that I don’t put someone else at risk. Also, by the time the baby comes, I think everyone will love him or her so much, they’ll forget the other. My whole family is very close and they will welcome and love this baby and help me take care of it. My family is sort of goofy about babies—they adore them.”
“That’s good.”
“Now we were talking about another little kid who will have a birthday soon. Where can I go to get Scotty a present? I may not have a car for the next week and there aren’t any department stores out here on this ranch.”
“Do I detect a bit of dislike for my ranch?”
“Moments like this, a ranch isn’t the most practical place to be.”
“You don’t need to get Scotty anything. If you’re here, he’ll be delighted.”
“If I’m here for his party, I want to get him a gift. He’ll be easy to choose for and it’ll be fun for me. Between now and then, will you go to Verity?”
“Probably. Our weather can swing from one extreme to another in the blink of an eye. You may be surprised, although I’d guess Little Rock weather can do about the same. I think we can get to Verity and you can find a present for Scotty there. Don’t get him any big deal because he has a lot of toys.”
She nodded. “Do you have any special paper plates and napkins and centerpiece for a party?”
“No, but Elise had some cowboy decorations—Scotty loves the cowboy stuff. Winnie the Pooh characters, too. I don’t remember what we have, but they’re in a couple of boxes in the attic.”
“Tomorrow let’s get them and see if there are things to use this year. I’d guess he’ll have fun putting up birthday decorations—unless it will make you sad to put them up.”
“No. If it gives Scotty pleasure, then it will be fun. He keeps me cheered. I can’t be sad all the time with him around.”
“I’m sure you can’t,” she said, slipping on her shoes. “Mike, it’s past my bedtime. I should turn in.”
“Sure,” he said, smiling at her. He stood, stepping into his shoes, and draped an arm casually across her shoulders as they walked toward the stairs. “I’ll never feel the same about rainstorms or snowstorms because they will remind me of when you came to visit. I’m glad Scotty and I were at Ed’s station.”
“You think you’re glad—I don’t know what I would have done.”
“You’d have managed some way. This time of year if you travel by car, you should toss in some candy bars, some bottles of fruit juice, a blanket—emergency stuff if you get stranded. Heading west through the wide open spaces of Texas, New Mexico and Arizona, you can get caught in some big storms like this one. I’ll load your car before you leave here.”
“Thanks, Mike,” she answered without thought. Most of her attention was on Mike being so close, his arm keeping her against his side. She had stopped their loving earlier, but it hadn’t stopped her desire. She wanted him, longed for his kisses, wanted to be in his arms and make love. She tried to get her thoughts elsewhere, to do what would cause her the least grief when she had to tell him goodbye soon.
Tonight when she had held Scotty and read to him, it had been the first time it dawned on her that it would be difficult for her when she left Scotty as well as Mike.
Scotty was lovable and she was going to miss him. It had never occurred to her that a little almost-three-year-old might wrap around her heartstrings and make her want to stay. Father and son—she didn’t want to get hurt by both of them. Each day spent with Mike and Scotty bound her closer to them.
At the door to her room, Mike stopped. As he turned to face her, he kept his arm around her which pulled her closer to him. “It’s been a great day, Savannah.”
“It has for me. You and Scotty are good company. Mike,
he’s so good. Does he ever give you trouble?”
“Oh, sure. He’s a normal kid, but he’s an only child and when it’s a one-on-one with me, he’s usually happy, cooperative, just plain fun to have around.”
“That makes life nice.”
“It helps. I couldn’t deal with a bratty kid.”
She smiled. “Yes, you could. I doubt if you would let that go on very long.” Silence descended as she gazed into Mike’s dark brown eyes. Her heart drummed. She wanted to kiss him more than anything. Soon she would be so alone. Just kisses—what could it hurt?
“Thanks again, Mike,” she whispered, starting to step away, feeling warmth, friendship, excitement, all of it going out of her life. She turned back to look into his dark eyes. Slipping her arm around his neck, she kissed him full on the mouth.
The moment her lips touched his, his arm circled her waist and he pulled her tightly against him, wrapping both arms around her. He leaned over her, kissing her passionately.
She should have just said good-night and gone into her suite and closed the door and left him alone. He had been doing what she had asked—cool the relations between them and avoid anything that would lead to an affair. And then she had turned around and been the one who stirred them up again.
Thought fled as his kiss set her ablaze. Desire rocked her and she clung to him while he kissed her as if he would never get to kiss again.
She didn’t know how much time passed, but finally she stepped away and gasped for breath.
“Why are you so appealing?” she asked.
“Savannah,” he said, his voice thick and deep as he reached for her.
She sidestepped his grasp. “I shouldn’t have started something. Good night, Mike. It was a wonderful day,” she said breathlessly and rushed into her suite, closing the door to lean against it.
She shouldn’t have kissed him. Desire had overthrown wisdom. She moved around the room getting ready for bed, finally crawling beneath the sheets in the dark and longing to be in Mike’s arms and sharing his kisses. She shouldn’t have kissed him for either of their best interests. She had to move on even if she had to junk her car and buy another one. Her trunk was packed, filled with her things. She could ship them and fly to California and get a car out there. Mike could help her get her things shipped. Temptation was growing every hour she was with Mike, growing for both of them and becoming a good way for each of them to get hurt more.
Reminding herself this was best, she finally fell asleep to dream about Mike and being in his arms.
* * *
On Monday morning Mike left early with others who worked on the ranch, all of them on horseback. The gray day enveloped them with swirling snow and howling wind. Mike pulled up the fur collar of his heaviest parka, trying to block the wind. They passed a pickup where ranch hands were loading bales of hay. Mike and the men with him rode to the hangar where workers had cleared snow from a helipad and now loaded hay bales into the chopper.
“I’ll go in the chopper,” Mike said to Ray. “We’ll look for any cattle cut off by the storm and we can drop the hay where it’s needed. I’ll keep in touch with you about where we are.”
“We’ve got to get food to them and break the ice so they’ll have water. This has been a helluva storm. The trucks can carry a lot of hay.” Ray looked up. “I hope this snow ends soon. Be careful, Mike. This is bad weather to fly.”
“We’ll be careful, but we need to see about the livestock. I’ll keep in touch in case you find any that have gotten where they can’t get feed or water,” Mike said, speaking louder over the wind howling around them. As Ray and the others left, Mike helped load two more bales into the helicopter and shortly they took off. Because of the wind and the cold, he kept his focus on ranching, on searching for cattle below, except he longed to be done and get back to the house where Savannah and Scotty waited and everything was warm.
* * *
Savannah dressed in a heavy blue sweater, jeans and her suede knee-length boots. Before she reached the kitchen she could smell the aroma of hot coffee and freshly baked bread. She took a deep breath, hoping she wouldn’t be sick again.
Mike had already gone, but he had left coffee and warm bread that he must have made in a bread machine. She got a small glass of milk and sat to wait for Scotty to waken.
She spent the morning playing with Scotty, missing Mike and wondering when he would be back. After she fed Scotty lunch and ate a little herself, she lay down with Scotty, reading to him before he fell asleep for his afternoon nap.
She was on her way to the kitchen when she heard a truck. She looked out the back window and saw Mike park a pickup and get out, heading toward the back door. His broad-brimmed black hat was squarely on his head and he crossed the ground in long strides. Dark glasses hid his eyes. Her pulse quickened and she went to the back to greet him. He swept inside, bringing cold air with him as he shed his coat and hat, hanging them on a coat tree.
“The snow finally stopped falling, but it’s damn cold out there. Was Scotty a good kid?” Mike asked, removing his sunglasses and pulling leather gloves from his hip pocket and placing them on a shelf by the door. Dark stubble covered his jaw. His cheeks were red from the cold. He looked gorgeous and she wanted him to cross the small space between them, and hug and kiss her, but that wasn’t going to happen and she shouldn’t want it to.
“He was wonderful, adorable. Of course he was good. I had fun with him.”
“I needed to be out there this morning more than usual.”
“Don’t change your routine because of me. I’m fine here with Scotty.” She glanced away for a moment. “I called the gas station where I left my car and no one answered, so I guess it’s still closed.”
“In this weather, I know it is. So are the roads. I’m going to shower and I’ll be back soon.”
* * *
When he reappeared in his bulky black sweater, jeans and boots, looking dynamic and bright-eyed as if he hadn’t been out in the cold working for hours, his appeal heightened. Scotty was with him, holding a box of Lego blocks. He sat on the floor to build with them.
“Scotty, this is February and your birthday is coming up. Why don’t we get out the birthday decorations and put them up?” Mike asked.
“Decorations—like Christmas?”
“That’s right, except not as many as Christmas. Some balloons and characters you like. We’ll have your aunts and uncles over and have a birthday cake.”
“Yes,” Scotty answered, standing to jump up and down. “A party—a party,” he chanted, hopping in a circle.
“Cool it, Scotty. Also, we’ll talk about what kind of cake you would like to have.”
“Chocolate, hooray,” he said, his brown eyes sparkling with such eagerness that she had to laugh.
“Want to go with us?” Mike asked and she nodded.
They went to the walk-in attic that had finished storage rooms with shelves. Mike led the way to boxes labeled Birthday Decorations.
For a moment Mike looked grim and a muscle worked in his jaw. She guessed he was remembering Elise and the two of them either getting the decorations out or putting them away, and Savannah hurt for him and wished she could say or do something to ease his pain, but she knew she couldn’t.
“Mike, if you don’t want to do this, we can get new decorations in town,” she said.
“I’m okay. I’m just remembering the last time this stuff was touched was when Elise and I put it away.”
“Sorry,” Savannah said and turned, suspecting Mike might want to be alone.
Quietly, Mike carried boxes out of the attic and set them down to wipe away the dust. Then he brought them downstairs to the family room where everyone would gather for a party.
Opening a big box, he lifted out Happy Birthday banners. Mike brought in a ladder and climbed up to hang t
he banners where Savannah decided they should go.
Soon they had streamers and banners up. Savannah looked in the boxes and saw packages of paper plates and cups that had never been opened, but they would have been more appropriate when Scotty was two. “Mike, let’s get Scotty some new plates with characters he likes.”
“Sure,” he said. “Just make a list of what you want when we go to town.”
She watched Mike hold Scotty up so he could place a cardboard birthday cake on the mantel. Father and son looked happy and she had another twist to her heart. She was sorry for their loss, sad over her own, yet Mike was a good dad for Scotty and she hoped Mike would someday marry again.
In another box she found a stuffed bear holding a wrapped present. The bear was worn but still charming, so she looked around to let Scotty select a place to place it.
Mike took the bear from her hands. “Leave that in the box. It’s old. It was Elise’s when she was a child.”
“Scotty might like it someday especially for that reason,” she said gently. “If he grows up with it and learns his mother loved the bear as a little girl, it might be very special to him.”
Mike inhaled deeply. “You’re right,” he said in a tight voice.
She saw Mike was hurting and instantly decided the bear wasn’t that important. “Mike, let’s put the bear back in the box. I intruded on your life with Scotty. I’ll leave in a day or two and you’ll have to look at the bear indefinitely. If it causes you to hurt, let’s pack it away this year. One year won’t matter. Scotty won’t even remember.”
“I think you’re right about Scotty enjoying the bear now, and later appreciating and loving it because his mother did.”
“Let it go,” she whispered. “You don’t need to hurt needlessly.”
Mike gave her an intense look. She couldn’t guess his feelings, but suddenly he hugged her. She held him tightly, suspecting he was having an emotional moment. She felt a tug on her leg and looked down to see Scotty, gazing up and trying to hug them, wanting to be part of the hug.