Collision Course

by Anne-Marie Flemming

  I laughed. It might be a while until I lived that one down, but at least he was joking about it.

  “I promise,” I said.

  A couple of minutes later, Angus seemed ready for bed himself. When Big D and the band’s drummer, Penley, were leaving the group that remained in the lounge and climbed the stairs, Angus stood as well.

  “Well, come on,” he said, and I rose from my seat. “Let’s get you sorted out.”

  I followed him up the stairs into the bunk area. Several of the grey curtains that had been open previously were shut now. Angus pointed at one in the top row.

  “That’s Rhys’. I’m assuming he’s in there, since it’s closed. That’s a bathroom over there, brush your teeth, if you want. So… have a good night.” He shrugged, gave me another smile and then turned to his own bunk.

  I reached for my bag and searched through it for something that would pass for appropriate tour bus sleepwear, as well as my toothbrush. Wielding both, I made my way to the bathroom which Angus had indicated, where I did indeed brush my teeth and change into my sleep clothes.

  When I stepped back out into the bus proper, I caught an eyeful of bare-assed roadie. Two more guys had come upstairs while I’d been in the bathroom, and one of them had disrobed right out in the hallway.

  “Whoa,” I said. Some guy with long, blond dreads and a beard to match, laughed. I laughed along as the offender turned, spotted us, and actually appeared to be flustered.

  Then I stared at the curtains that I knew I should move, and my stomach dropped out from under me.

  The nervousness was ridiculous. I’d always had that problem of getting incredibly flustered and anxious about the most mundane tasks, especially if they involved people I didn’t know well. Usually it was manageable, but Rhys and to a lesser extent the rest of the guys on the bus terrified me in that regard. My arm felt heavy, but finally, I managed to convince myself that standing in the hallway staring at the bed I was supposed to sleep in was bound to make me feel even more stupid in the long run if someone noticed.

  So, ignoring the uncomfortable churning in my stomach, I brushed back the curtain.

  Rhys was indeed inside. I saw him turn his head in my direction, but was unsure if he would even be able to see me with his eyes blinking against the sudden influx of light.

  “Hey,” I said, to make it easier for him to figure out. “So, am I supposed to sleep here then?”

  He didn’t even reply. Instead, he shifted closer to the wall, creating a bit of space for me, and turned his head away.

  I wondered where Rhys had picked up this peculiar talent of making me feel like he was barely tolerating me. God damn it, he had invited me here.

  I climbed into the bed and beneath the covers. There definitely wasn’t much space in here. I was uncomfortably close to the edge, and when I shifted inwards, I found myself pressed against him without actually meaning to accomplish that.

  His head turned again, and he gave me what I thought was a bit of an irritated glare. It was hard to tell though, with the curtain shut once more, leaving us both in near-complete darkness.

  “I’m afraid I’ll fall,” I explained my problem, wanting to bang my forehead against the wall in frustration. He was bound to be thinking I was halfway mentally retarded by now.

  He simply sighed. In a move that baffled me, he pressed himself a little more tightly against me. “Move over,” he prompted me. It took me a few seconds to figure out what he meant, just long enough to make me feel stupid once again. At least, I thought, he couldn’t see me blush in the darkness.

  I climbed over him somewhat clumsily. He was properly clothed, wearing what I was pretty sure were pajama pants and a t-shirt, but a small jolt of arousal still shot through me for the split second I was straddling him before moving away and settling beside him. It was a pity, I thought, that the close quarters situation in the bus didn’t lend itself to anything sexual.

  I didn’t sleep well that night, tightly pressed against the gently vibrating wall of the bus, only too aware of the warm body so close to mine that apparently had no interest in cuddling. I tried to oblige him, but that led to me being cramped and miserable as I continually attempted to take up as little space as possible.

  With this being the second night of shitty sleep in a row, I wasn’t particularly looking forward to the morning.

  +++

  When morning came, we were parked in Kansas City. I woke when I felt Rhys moving besides me, fumbling with something and throwing off his blankets. More to collect myself than anything, I remained still. My brain was fuzzy. For not being comfortable in the slightest, my sleep had been surprisingly deep.

  Then Rhys turned my way, grabbing me by one shoulder, leaning closer to me than I would have expected him to be comfortable with.

  “Hey,” he said. His breath brushed my cheek.

  “Hm?” I asked.

  “We’re about to hop off and put our stuff in the hotel, so you should get ready.”

  It was quite kind of him to inform me, I thought, especially since by now my default expectation had regressed to him ignoring me completely and leaving me to fend for myself.

  “Thanks,” I told him, and sat up as much as was possible in the cramped space.

  When I finally managed to get out of bed, I saw at once that several people were busy packing their bags. Rhys was walking towards me, coming back from the bathroom and giving me a rare, slightly goofy half-smile. His dark hair was wild and tousled, which I thought made him look quite cute. I stretched towards my bag purposely just as he’d about reached me, getting onto my tiptoes and arching my back. I didn’t know whether he caught on to the fact that I was showing off, but as he moved past me, his hands grabbed my bare waist from behind for a moment, just as he’d done back in the hotel room in Milwaukee. Another jolt of arousal passed through my body as he brushed quite purposely against me.

  I wasn’t sure why I was so damn easy to excite. I did find Rhys very attractive, lousy attitude and all, and I was a typical guy in that I liked sex just fine, but that alone wasn’t an explanation as to why I felt the near-irresistible right here right now urge to fuck him like there was no tomorrow. I supposed spending a full night right next to him without anything happening might have stoked that fire a bit.

  At least in Kansas City it wasn’t raining. I was glad to find that out when, only minutes later, I stepped outside the bus, wearing yesterday’s jeans and my last clean shirt.

  “Fans,” said someone as we walked across the street. I raised my head.

  Indeed, there was a group standing just by the doors to the hotel, looking like they couldn’t believe their luck as we walked towards them.

  “What’s up?” Angus was the first one to greet, and found himself swarmed with admiration and several autograph requests. The rest of the band soon joined him.

  It took me a moment to catch on to the dirty look that two rather obvious twinks in the fan crowd were throwing me. The reason it took me so long to realize it was me they were aiming those looks at was probably because I’d never even thought about the fact that anyone might be jealous of me being with the band. I wasn’t sure what they thought my role was, but either way, it threw me for a loop. All I knew was that it was clear to them that I, with my small build, very obviously wasn't a roadie. I stepped back and hid behind Big D, who was supervising the situation with authority. Eventually, when enough autographs had been given and several pictures had been taken, he ushered everyone inside.

  The guys appeared to take the fans in stride, as I would have expected from a band of their level of fame.

  “Definitely too early in the morning for that,” I heard Oz half-complaining, half-smiling about it.

  “Did you see the way they looked at him?” That was Angus, apparently the most observant one of the bunch. He pointed at me, grinning. “Did you see the way those dudes looked at him? It was pretty funny, I saw him trying to hide and everything.”

  I heard several people laughin
g.

  “No, I didn’t see that,” Penley admitted.

  “Well it seemed like the smartest option,” I shrugged, grinning as well. It had bothered me a little, but I had no trouble brushing the incident off.

  “It was a nasty look, I probably would have run away too,” Angus joked before falling semi-serious. “You’ll have that, though most fans are actually really nice. So don’t let that scare you.”

  “Wasn’t gonna,” I assured him.

  Big D handed out room key cards a moment later. This hotel looked to be more modern than the last, and I shamelessly hoped for a bigger room than the one before. I didn’t receive a card, however, and only after he caught my slightly questioning look did Big D turn around and ask for a second card for room four-thirty-two.

  “Thanks,” I said when he handed it to me. Then I turned to follow Rhys, who had already gone to wait by an elevator with Oz and Penley.

  There wasn’t much conversation during the trip up to the rooms. Everyone was still tired. When we found our room number, however, Oz did make an interesting discovery.

  “We’re actually all next to each other for a change.”

  “Don’t wake me up,” Rhys promptly ordered him.

  Oz muttered something that sounded like “Like I’m gonna bang my head against the wall all night,” and pushed his door open. Rhys, sliding his card through the reader, did the same.

  “So what’s the plan for the day?” I asked him casually as I waited for him to pick his side of the bed. He chose the right, the same side he’d slept on at the last hotel. During the night in the bus, I’d kinda made him sleep on the left, which had been closer to the walkway. Mulling this over, I faintly wondered whether it had any significance whatsoever.

  He sat down on the bed and stared at the wall for a moment before giving me a reply.

  “Concert’s tomorrow, so today’s pretty much off. I’ve got an interview at the local rock station this afternoon, so I’ll be busy doing that. Otherwise, just…” He shrugged. “Relax.”

  “Clothes shopping,” I nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed as well. “I’m running out pretty rapidly.”

  “Yeah, you might wanna do that.” Hand in his pocket, he frowned at me. “Are you gonna start carrying your own cigarettes?” he wanted to know.

  I made a face.

  “Cause I was gonna ask what kind you smoke,” he added with a slight laugh, as though it was something slightly embarrassing he was admitting. He produced his pack of cigarettes in his right hand.

  “I probably won’t, just because I don’t…” I stopped, trying to find the right words to explain this, and ended up babbling again. “I never really used to smoke regularly, you know. Just on occasion. I’m a special-occasion smoker, whenever someone else offers, pretty much.”

  Somehow, I didn’t have a feeling I was coming across as I’d intended.

  “Man, I hate that kind,” he observed calmly, and lit up. “No offense,” he added, waving his cigarette hand in my general direction as he moved his pillows out of the way with the other and leaned against the headboard. “But it’s annoying, someone that always fucking mooches.”

  He was still smiling a little, so I gathered he wasn’t too terribly upset.

  “Well, to be fair, I never asked you for one, you just kept offering,” I pointed out. He contemplated that for a moment, then shrugged.

  “I guess.”

  “Besides, I’m trying not to start smoking regularly,” I told him, and then moved to sit beside him on my side of the bed.

  “Yeah. It’s a bad habit,” he acknowledged, and exhaled a large cloud of smoke.

  I tried to find something to say that might cheer him up.

  “If you want I’ll throw you a couple of bucks for cigarette money,” I offered. He actually laughed at that.

  “Stop trying to pay me!”

  “Well you keep making me feel like I should!” I raised my hands at him, marveling at how comfortable things had gotten again so quickly. It was easy when Rhys actually made an effort to talk to me.

  “Well, no,” he said. I wasn’t sure what exactly he was referring to with that, so I simply sat back and relaxed instead of worrying about a reply.

  For a minute or so, we sat in silence. Then Rhys casually reached over and offered me his cigarette.

  “You’re evil,” I grumbled, making him laugh, but I took it anyway. I pulled on it only once, however, before handing it back to him.

  “D’you ever consider quitting?” I wanted to know, hoping that didn’t sound like was already trying to change him. “Or do you not care to?”

  “I stopped for a while,” he admitted, looking at the cigarette for a moment as though for insight. “Started again when I broke up with my ex though.”

  I nodded, completely unsure what an adequate reply to this might be.

  It was another minute before he broke the silence again, his voice sounding pressed as he exhaled more smoke. “How many clothes did you bring along?”

  “You’ve seen them all now,” I admitted. “Two pairs of pants and three shirts. That includes what I was wearing the night of the concert.”

  “That is not a lot,” he said, as though I didn’t know.

  “Plus I’ll need a coat,” I pointed out more to myself than to him. “It’s not exactly t-shirt weather yet.”

  “Yeah, not really,” he agreed.

  His cigarette was pretty much finished by that time, so he leaned over and discarded what remained of it into the trashcan, then dug in his pockets once more. Before I fully realized what was happening, he had thrown two bills my way. I picked them up purely on reflex, looking probably quite bewildered.

  “For clothes,” he explained. I looked at the bills a little more closely and realized he’d just tossed a hundred bucks at me.

  “I feel… extremely weird taking money from you,” I admitted, trying to express my discomfort. Like a hooker. I didn't say it out loud, but I didn't have to.

  “Well, don’t,” he shut me down, and moved to stand. “You’re gonna need clothes.”

  “Well yeah.” I opened my mouth in order to formulate a more in-depth reply, realized I probably wouldn’t be able to say it right, and gave up. “Thanks,” I said, my voice tiny.

  “You’re welcome,” he replied sincerely. “I’m gonna go find Big D. Don’t forget to eat again.”

  With those words, he left me alone in the room – our room – and I sat there for a moment, feeling a little stunned because of his generosity, awkward as hell because he had, in effect, just paid me, and rather surprised with how long and comfortable the conversation had been. I liked him, really liked him when he was like this. I just wished he’d like me a little more.

  As I had told him, I did spend a large chunk of the day shopping. I wasn’t a typical gay guy in that I despised clothes shopping, for the most part, and I wasn’t all that thrilled about having to do it now. But there really wasn’t much else for me to do in any case, so I got directions to the nearest cluster of stores from the front desk and walked off on a mission.

  A hundred dollars wasn’t really enough for a whole new wardrobe, but combined with a chunk of my own money and looking for clearance prices, I was able to take care of my needs quite decently. I got myself another pair of tight jeans and several sets of shirts, as well as other essentials, and, finally, a coat that was fashionable, warm and reasonably priced. I also grabbed a duffel bag that would fit all my new acquisitions and a book, so I would have something to do. Then I marched back to the hotel looking like a shop-a-holic with all the bags I was toting.

  Rhys wasn’t in the room when I got back. I used the time to sort and fold clothes. Once I finished that, getting bored, I lay down and started reading.

  Once again I didn’t actually realize how hungry I was until my stomach had tied itself completely into knots. I ignored it until I couldn’t do so any longer, then threw the book onto my nightstand and went out again, intending to grab something to eat. />
  I didn’t get far. Out in the hallway, I ran into a group of roadies, plus drummer Penley, who were getting ready to go eat and who were friendly enough to invite me along when I somewhat shyly asked about their dinner plans. I was whisked away to some family-owned Mexican restaurant, where I had an entree salad and some good conversation with the guys. I still didn’t know most of their names yet, but they appeared to be getting used to me. Soon, I even felt brave enough to ask them a couple of questions. They didn’t appear terribly curious about me, acting more like I was just some random additional crew member, and I preferred it that way

  I was properly tired once we all got back to the hotel. When I entered the hotel room, I found Rhys on the bed, watching TV. I greeted him briefly even though he barely reacted, then vanished into the bathroom to change into my fresh briefs and make sure I looked reasonably presentable. Then, I joined him on the bed.

  “How was your day?” I asked, and he shrugged, apparently back to being moody. I sighed inwardly. I never knew, with him.

  “Mine too,” I said cheerfully, mostly just to camouflage the fact that his non-answer had flustered me.

  I only just caught the quirking of one corner of his mouth. Knowing that I could make him smile at least a tiny bit was an upside to things, I supposed.

  “You ready to go to sleep?” he asked.

  So I was, which meant I simply nodded. I watched him turn the TV off and slipped beneath the covers as he got the lights. To be honest, I was a little surprised and more than a little frustrated, along with a dash of being hurt and disappointed. I had assumed that Rhys had taken me along at least partially for the sex – he hadn’t really given me much reason to suspect otherwise – and yet this would mark the second night where nothing had happened between us. He made me feel like I was his platonic roommate, and to make matters worse, I really wanted to get railed at this point.

  Frustrated, I turned away, towards the dark window, and closed my eyes.

  A moment later, Rhys shifted, and his arm came to lie around my waist. I rolled my eyes involuntarily and waited. If he just wanted to cuddle, well, that was cool with me, and I wouldn’t exactly protest. If he wanted more, that would at least take care of part of my frustration right now. Either way, I liked the close contact.