Money Can't Buy Love

by Connie Briscoe

  “Of course I like the house,” he said. “What’s not to like? I can see why it’s your dream house. But that doesn’t mean it was the best choice for us financially.” He paused. “Oh, excuse me. That doesn’t mean it was the best choice for you.”

  She smacked her lips. He wasn’t being fair at all. She kept him informed from the beginning. He went out with her to look at the houses, together they narrowed it down to three that they liked, he helped her negotiate a good price. What was he complaining about?

  “You know, you have really changed,” he said as they approached the door to the restaurant.

  “No I haven’t.”

  “Oh, yeah. You definitely have. Ever since you won that money.”

  “You’re just saying that because of the house.”

  “It’s not only that,” he said. “On weekends when we have plans to go somewhere, you’re always canceling at the last minute and running off to do your own thing. You never did that before. Like last Saturday, when we were going to the gallery in Baltimore.”

  “I canceled to go look at a studio that was for rent. I’m trying to build a business, Gerald. That takes time.” She didn’t mention that Ray met her at the studio and afterward they drove to a park and made love in the bed of his pickup.

  He stopped near the front door and steered her to the side. “Is that also why you wear so much more makeup now and the short skirts?”

  She swallowed hard. “Am I not allowed to wear makeup? I have clients now. I want to look nice for them.”

  “It doesn’t seem like you, Lenora. You couldn’t have cared less about makeup and clothes before.”

  “I didn’t have my own clients before. I was on salary at a magazine. That’s—”

  “What clients?” he asked bitterly. “You have one client.”

  “I’m working hard trying to get more,” she snapped. “You are really starting to—”

  “Are you having an affair?”

  Lenora paused, stunned. She glanced around to see if anyone had heard his question. If they had, they weren’t letting on. Everyone seemed to be going about their business. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “Of course not. Where did you get that idea?” Lenora racked her brain trying to think of where she might have slipped up, where she had been careless. She did some silly things in the beginning, but she thought she had gotten better at covering her tracks. Maybe not.

  “Lots of things,” he said.

  “Such as?”

  “Where did you go when you slipped out of the condo last night?”

  Lenora thought her legs would give out. She stared at Gerald. How the hell did he know? And if he knew, why did he wait all this time to mention it?

  “I didn’t think you heard me,” she said.

  “Oh, I know you didn’t,” he said. “I woke up when the bed moved. I thought you were getting up to go to the bathroom and dozed back off. Then I heard the front door open and shut. I got up and you were gone. You came back about thirty or forty minutes later.”

  “Why didn’t you say something before?”

  “I figured you would tell me what was going on this morning.”

  “I see,” she said. She shoved her hands into her pockets. “Well, Gerald, I didn’t want to have to tell you this.”

  He watched her closely and waited.

  “I smoked a couple of cigarettes.”

  He jerked his head back. “Are you serious?”

  She nodded. “It’s all the stress. The money, the house, my job, and looking for a studio. It’s too much at once. It’s getting to me.”

  “How long have you been smoking?”

  She shrugged. “A few weeks.”

  “Have you ever smoked before?”

  “Years ago, before we met,” she said, lying. Unless you counted the occasional puff after sex when she dated a man in college who smoked.

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “It’s not exactly something I brag about,” she said. “I do it to keep the weight off, mainly.”

  “That’s a stupid reason to smoke.”

  “I agree.”

  “Why haven’t I smelled it on you?” he asked.

  “I use a breath freshener,” she said. “And last night I slipped into the shower when I came back in to wash the odor away.”

  “I heard you in the shower,” he said. “That explains a lot. Still, you shouldn’t have tried to hide it from me.”

  “I realize that now.”

  “And you have to stop,” he added. “I don’t need to tell you it’s dangerous.”

  She nodded. “Believe me, I know it’s dangerous. It’s just a really hard craving to kick.”

  Chapter 35

  The next few weeks were a flurry of activity. Lenora put her condo on the market at a price she viewed as dirt cheap considering that she still owed more on the unit than the listing price. Unfortunately, that was the nature of the market these days. She just wanted to get it off her hands and move on to her new life, and she was fortunate to be in a position to do that when many others weren’t.

  She also found a professional photography studio in the neighboring town of Laurel. It was huge, with high ceilings and separate rooms for three offices or workspaces. The sale included furniture, fixtures, counters, lighting, backgrounds, and props. She was extremely excited until she realized that the only way she was going to be able to buy the studio was to make a huge down payment. Since she had little income now and had already taken out a mortgage for the house, no bank would finance the studio at more than fifty percent. She had enough cash, but the purchase would eat up much of the money she had left.

  Gerald thought it was out of the question to spend nearly all of her money. Lenora did too, initially. But the more time she spent looking at other cheaper studios, the more she appreciated how nice the first one was.

  “If you don’t listen to me about anything else for the rest of our lives, hear me on this,” Gerald pleaded as they left the new house to walk Paws around the neighborhood. Paws bounded ahead, excitedly exploring every new bush and leaf of grass with her nose, and Gerald extended the leash. “You don’t have to buy the most expensive studio in Maryland. Some of the ones we looked at are half the cost of the one in Laurel. One was about a third.”

  “And they look like crap,” Lenora said, turning up her nose. “They either need repairs or a lot of updates to look as good as the one in Laurel. Plus they’re smaller.”

  “Start small and work your way up to something bigger and nicer,” he suggested.

  “But it would take a lot of time and work to fix them up just so I could use them. I don’t want to get involved in painting and updating electrical panels. I want a turnkey situation. Something I can walk straight into and get to work.”

  “How about renting a studio until you start making some real money?”

  “Is that it?” she asked. “Are you worried that I may not be able to pull this off and make money at it?”

  “I have all the confidence in the world that you can do it. But there are ways to go about it without spending almost all of your cash. Start slowly and grow as the money is earned. That’s one of the hard lessons I just learned.”

  Lenora shook her head adamantly. “My situation is different from yours. I have the money to start big and get what I want now without borrowing a single dime.”

  “That’s the problem, baby. You want too much.”

  She would prove Gerald wrong, she thought. She was a damn good photographer and absolutely positive that she would have plenty of clients to pay the mortgages on her new home and studio in no time.

  Gerald was trying to get her to allow him to move into the new house with her. He was surprised when Lenora said they should wait until after they were married.

  “I don’t get it,” Gerald had said. “There was a time when you couldn’t wait to get married and you wanted me to move into that tiny condo with you. Now that I’ve proposed and you have this
huge house, you change your mind about us living together.”

  “We’re going to be married soon. Why not wait?”

  At least that was what she told him. She still loved Gerald and thought he would make a good husband. He was dependable, smart, and ambitious. But she and Ray were meeting once or twice a week, and her hot young man was a constant reminder of all that was missing in her relationship with Gerald—knees weak with anticipation, loins swollen with excitement, steamy sex that seemed to go on forever. It had become a weekly excursion for them to meet in the far corner of a park. She would drive to the destination and hop into the bed of Ray’s truck. They would toss a heavy blanket over them and get busy.

  If she and Gerald lived together, she would have to give Ray up. Or it would certainly be a lot harder to keep seeing him. She didn’t kid herself for a minute that she could hold on to both men forever. Eventually, she was going to have to let one of them go, and it would likely be Ray. But the time hadn’t come yet.

  Chapter 36

  Lenora walked into her new studio on the last Monday in August and it was one of the best days of her life. The studio was everything she had imagined, and thanks to her lottery winnings, it was all hers.

  She let her camera bag slide to the floor of the main room, lifted her arms, and twirled around until she was dizzy. She stopped and stood still while her balance came back. Then she picked up her camera bag and entered the largest of the three side offices.

  Now for the hard part, she thought as she sat at the desk. She had to get to work if she was going to continue to pay for all of this. Over the weekend, she had put together a list of forty potential clients, culled from previous photo assignments while at the Baltimore Scene and earlier jobs as well as freelance assignments.

  She spent two hours working the phones and reached half the names on the list. The result? One potential new assignment shooting portraits for new business cards for a real estate office. She couldn’t believe her bad luck.

  She stood and looked out the window of her office. For the first time since writing that big check for the down payment on the studio, she felt real anxiety. She was going to have to do way better than this. The money she won gave her a wonderful fresh start on life. But she had spent just about all of it in a matter of months. If she didn’t want everything she had put into motion over the past several weeks to collapse, she had to get some clients and get them fast.

  But first things first, she thought as she grabbed her shoulder bag from her desk. It was twelve-thirty on a Monday afternoon and that meant a hookup with Ray in the park. Yes, she needed to keep working the phones to drum up clients. But more than that she needed some relief from all the stress, and nothing was better for that than a meeting with Ray.

  Before she could get out the door, the phone rang. She stopped and debated whether to ignore it. She didn’t want to be late. But this might be a potential client, so she decided to answer. Caller ID told her it wasn’t a client but Monica. She picked up.

  “Hey there, Miss Entrepreneur,” her friend said.

  “Hi, Monica. What’s up?”

  “My shift at the hospital is just ending,” Monica said. “Thought you might want to meet for lunch. My treat in honor of your new studio and the new house.”

  “I appreciate the offer, I really do. But no thanks.”

  “My money not good enough for you?” Monica joked.

  “It’s not that. I have other plans.”

  “Meeting Gerald?” Monica asked.

  “Actually, no. Ray.”

  “You know, between your hot young stud and the new studio and all the other stuff you’ve got going on, I hardly ever see you anymore.”

  “Can’t help it,” Lenora said. “I’m hooked.”

  “That’s what worries me,” Monica said. “You got emotionally involved with this guy.”

  “No, I didn’t,” Lenora protested. “Okay, maybe a little.”

  “That’s a no-no with a man like him. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “You did warn me.”

  “You really ought to walk away while you can,” Monica said. “Before it’s really too late.”

  “It already is too late.”

  “Damn.”

  “I know.”

  “Come by tonight and let me talk some sense into you, girl,” Monica said. “About this and a whole lot else going on with you lately.”

  “Okay, I’ll call you later.”

  “No, you won’t,” Monica said. “We’ve had this discussion before. You really need a good talking-to, but I can’t get you to slow down long enough to listen. You don’t even—”

  “Look, I have to go,” Lenora said, interrupting. “We’ll talk.”

  Lenora hung up before Monica could say another word and ran out the studio door. Ray had canceled the last two meetings due to work, and it had been a couple of weeks since she had seen him. She did not want to miss this meeting for any reason.

  She smiled when she entered the lot at the park and saw his pickup truck at the agreed-upon spot. She pulled up alongside and they climbed into the back, pulled a blanket over their heads, and met each other eagerly until they heard several vehicles pull up on both sides of the truck. They froze under the blanket and listened as doors opened and shut in rapid succession.

  The first thing Lenora thought of was that the cops were onto them and they were about to be busted. She didn’t know if they were breaking any laws, but even if not it would be damned embarrassing to be caught half naked with her legs spread-eagled and a man lying between them. Then she heard the loud voices and laughter of teenagers and she relaxed a bit. When the noises died down more, Ray climbed off her, lifted the blanket, and took a peek.

  He came back under the blanket and explained that three cars were parked nearby, and a group of about six or seven teenagers were walking off into the park. Lenora breathed a sigh of relief and reached out to pull him back between her legs. She wanted to continue exactly where they’d left off, before the mood passed, but the incident seemed to have spooked Ray. He pulled his jeans back on and zipped the fly. He waited for her to dress, then tossed the blanket aside.

  “You all right?” she asked.

  “I’m fine,” he said. “The moment was just ruined.”

  She nodded and rubbed her hand across his hair. “I understand. You want to wait a bit or…”

  He glanced at his watch and shook his head. “I need to get back to the site.”

  “Can we hook up later this evening?”

  “Maybe. I’ll see.”

  “How will I know?” she asked.

  “I’ll call you.” He let the back of the truck bed down and helped her out.

  “About what time?” she asked as he climbed into the driver’s seat of his truck.

  “Hard to say. As soon as I have some free time, I’ll call.”

  Back at the studio, Lenora tried to focus on the list of potential clients before her and all the calls she needed to make. She tried to concentrate on paperwork that needed to be filled out. But it was hard after the frustrating afternoon with Ray.

  She leaned back in her chair. Things had changed dramatically. The hot flame that once burned between them had died down. They used to spend hours together making love, talking about their plans for life, and working on the brochures for his landscaping business. Now they usually spent less than an hour together. He always said he was busy with work, but Lenora sensed that it was more than that. She had always known that he would someday want to move on, but she never expected it to be so soon. Right now she had a hard time imagining her days without Ray. She sat up and tried to push the thought of missing him from her head. But an hour later, she had made only two more calls. Her mind kept drifting to Ray and the steamy sex she missed so much. She would close her eyes until she could see him, smell him, feel him. If she concentrated hard enough, it was almost as if he were there. But he wasn’t.

  She opened her eyes. If she couldn’t be with him now, s
he wanted to hear his voice. She dialed his cell number and it rang and rang. That was another thing. It seemed to take him much longer to answer her calls these days. He picked up just before it went to the answering machine.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hey. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

  “I have a few minutes to spare. You back at the new studio?”

  “Yes.”

  “How is it?” he asked.

  “It’s everything I ever dreamed of,” she said. “It’s perfect, or almost. It needs only one more thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Christening. I’m picturing us in the middle of the studio floor with a blanket under us, a bottle of champagne next to us, and you on top of me.”

  He laughed.

  “I’m serious.”

  “I know you are. When did you have in mind?”

  “Today,” she said. “Now.”

  “Mm. As tempting as that sounds, I have to decline. Too much work.”

  She exhaled with disappointment. “Right.”

  “Another time,” he said. “Gotta run now.”

  They hung up and Lenora stared into space. Twice in one day he had brushed her off. She wasn’t ready for this.

  Chapter 37

  Another day at the office and still almost nothing to show for it. Lenora couldn’t stop thinking about Ray long enough to get any meaningful work done. To land new clients she had to work the phones for hours at a time, reaching out to everyone she had ever worked with over the years. She needed to get in her car and drive to businesses that might have an interest in her work and hand them the business cards and flyers that she had yet to design and get printed. She needed to take classes to update her skills with some of the latest technology. The list went on.

  Yet other than a few hours on the phone, she had done none of that, and she was beginning to hate herself for it. She knew she was capable of doing better than this, and it was frustrating that she was unable to rein in her thoughts and emotions. Monica was right. Lenora shouldn’t have gotten involved with a man like Ray.