Crushed

by Brigid McMahon

  "I don't have a suit with me!"

  I look at him over my shoulder as we mount the steps to the deck. It's quiet, the lights are off and I'm pretty sure Mom and Ethan have gone out for the night, as per usual.

  "Well you have underwear on, right?" I give him a teasing smile.

  Manny rocks back on his feet for a moment, thinking about my question. "Yes, I do."

  I shrug. "Okay then, you have a suit!"

  He holds up a hand. "What about your parents?"

  "Not home." I can't keep the grin off my face as I reach back with both hands and try to unzip my dress. "Can you unzip me? I can't quite reach." I walk over to him and present my back.

  Manny clears his throat and I feel him touching my zipper. "Okay. If that's what you want." He unzips my dress slowly and I shiver as his knuckles touch my bare skin.

  "Of course, it's what I want." I turn around to face him. He's looking a little apprehensive under the soft deck lighting. "I can't go swimming in an $400 dress can I?"

  "That dress cost four-hundred-" He shakes his head. "Never mind."

  I giggle at his obvious discomfort and slowly pull the dress down and step out of it. Now I'm just standing there in my floofy crinolines and bra and panties.

  Manny looks like he might take off running at any minute which I do not want to happen. So I scoot back over to him, my crinoline's rustling and reach up to remove his jacket.

  "You better take these things off and lay them on the chair there. It is a rental after all."

  Manny grabs my hands in both of his as I start to pull the jacket off.

  "What are you doing?"

  I hesitate at his narrowed eyes. "We're just going swimming. What's the big deal?"

  "The big deal is I feel like this is much more than just taking a dip in your pool, Bishop." He pulls his jacket back on firmly. "Get your dress. You need to go inside and go to bed."

  I want to scream. Can't I have any fun at all tonight?? I must look really pissed off because Manny smiles at me and pulls me closer.

  "You need your rest," he tells me.

  "I don't need my rest!" I snap. "I'm not an old lady!"

  Manny laughs and takes my face between his palms, holding me still. "Shh, stop talking for a minute. I'm going to kiss you and that will have to hold you over for tonight."

  Before I can protest, he lowers his lips to mine. I open my mouth and allow his tongue in, my own dancing with his as I kiss him back. Manny's lips and mouth continue to caress mine for several more moments and then he finally pulls back and lowers his hands.

  "You're always kissing me," I whisper, staring at him.

  "Yeah. I know." He gives me another grin. "So, you have any plans for tomorrow?"

  I shake my head, trying to bring myself back to earth. "Um, no, I don't think so."

  "Good. You wanna go to a party with me?"

  I make a face. "Ugh, I don't know. I mean, I'd love to spend more time with you but I don't know if I'm up to a party and drinking and all that."

  Manny chuckles. "No, it's not that kind of party. It's my grandpa's birthday. My family is throwing a party for him. I thought you might want to come. It's a fun time. Totally rated G."

  "That...sounds great actually!" And I mean it. A nice family party feels like just what I need right now.

  "Cool. I'll pick you at two, if that's okay?"

  "Sure. I can't wait!" I smile and suddenly feel shy. I'm not used to Manny being nice to me. Or kissing me. Or looking at me the way he is now.

  He reaches up and cups the side of my face with his hand. I like the feel of the callouses and rough skin of his palm. I wonder how those hands would feel cupping my breasts?

  Flushing at the thought I tilt my head up to accept another kiss from him. When the kiss ends, he holds me close for a moment, his cheek against the top of my head, those rough hands caressing my bare back.

  Suddenly he pulls back, clearing his throat I again. "I have to go. Seriously." He laughs and backs away from me on reluctant legs. "Okay, tomorrow. Goodnight!"

  "Goodnight, Manny! Tomorrow!" I wave at him and then snatch my dress up from the deck. This has been the weirdest night. My three crushes, in one room and I end the night with the one I used to hate.

  I'm quivering inside and I can't wait for the next day.

  ◆◆◆

  The next afternoon I wait for Manny on the porch steps. I’m wearing the flowered summer dress I wore to my cousin’s Mara’s wedding last year. It’s cute but respectable, which I figure is just the right look when attending a party at someone’s grandparents' house.

  Manny pulls into the driveway and hops out, staring at me.

  I slowly walk over to his car. “What?”

  "Nothing, you just look...really pretty." His lips slide into an almost bashful grin.

  How could I have missed Manny's cute smile? It gives him this beautiful boyish look, and he has a dimple in each cheek. I keep wanting to put my fingers in them. Manny takes my hand and leads me to his car, opening the door for me to slide in.

  He looks really hot today, with black jeans, a white tee-shirt, and a long denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up. We ride along in silence for a bit, then Manny puts on the radio, and I keep sneaking glances at his handsome face. He has on Ray-Ban sunglasses, which makes him look even cooler. My eyes trail from his face to his firm, sinewy muscled forearms. His hands are on the steering wheel, but I'd love to have him drop one to my knee.

  I fan myself at the sudden thought, feeling very warm.

  Manny glances at me behind his shades. "You want me to put the AC on?"

  "No, it's fine. I was just...thinking." I stifle a giggle. Good grief, the way we kissed last night, you wouldn't think I'd be so nervous around him, but if anything, the kissing has made it worse. This is the guy who used to glare at me so bad I thought I'd turn to dust. And now, he's sitting beside me so close we could touch, and I have hot flashes.

  "You ever been to a Mexican party?" He gives me a crooked smile.

  "No, is it that different from a regular party?"

  Manny laughs. "Ah, well, you'll see."

  He turns the radio up and puts his window down, speeding up the car. Apparently, he doesn't want to talk, and it's okay because I'm not sure what to say to him, really. I guess I'm just worried that if we talk, it might slide into one of the arguments we're so well known for.

  We cruise along the highway in silence, and every once in a while, Manny turns and gives me a smile. But his hand is no closer to my knee, which is a bummer.

  Finally, we leave the highway and turn down a street in a suburban neighborhood. Many of the houses are in the Spanish style, with stucco walls and red-tiled roofs. I see a lot of people out and about on the sidewalks and in the front yards. Little black-haired children wave at Manny's car as he sails by, and he waves back.

  "Do you know all of them?" I smile at a little gang of tiny ones clutching various lawn toys.

  "No, I just wave every time I drive through. They're cute."

  Manny turns down a dirt lane, and then we come to a long wall that leads to an iron-barred gate. "This is my grandparent's place."

  I watch as a forty-something man with a rounded tummy and combed over hair opens the gate for us to drive through. He waves at Manny and comes over to his open window.

  "Manuel! You dirty dog, you came! Your Abuelo will be so happy!"

  "Hey, Luis, like I'm not gonna come?! Seriously?"

  Luis grins and checks me out. "Who knows with you? And who's your friend, Manuel?"

  I smile back at him across Manny as he glances at me like he forgot I was there.

  "Oh, this is my friend, Taryn. Taryn, this is my cousin, Luis."

  "Hello!" I give Luis a little wave and a smile.

  Luis winks at Manny. "Oh, is she your girlfriend, then Manny?"

  "Shut up. Where do you want me to park?" Manny smirks, and Luis directs him through the gate and behind the large stucco house that is spread out before us.


  "I'm not your girlfriend?" I tease, nudging Manny with my elbow.

  He huffs out a breath and joins a long line of cars behind what I think is a garage. He shuts off his car and looks at me, his face completely unreadable.

  "You're a girl, and you're a friend. If that means girlfriend, then yeah, I guess that's what you are."

  "Well, I'm honored!"

  I can't tell if he's joking or not. He's in a funny mood like he really wants to be kind to me, but it's uncharted territory. Which I get because I feel the same way.

  We leave Manny's car, and he holds my hand as we go to the house and through another gate and across a sort of breezeway with a red tile floor. Through the breezeway is an open courtyard, and I see that the house actually wraps around this big area in a square.

  It's the coolest house I've ever seen. There are people everywhere, and Manny tries to point out different ones to me.

  "That's my Aunt Doris, she's kind of a bitch, so keep away from her. And that's my cousin Miguel, stay away from him because he's a perv and will try to get into your pants."

  I keep a smile pasted on my face and try not to laugh at Manny's whispered advice. He slips an arm around my waist, which feels incredible, and then he draws his breath in sharply.

  "Shit! It's Aunt Sophie!"

  Before I can ask what's wrong with Aunt Sophie, a short, pudgy little woman comes rushing up with her arms outstretched.

  "Manuel! Oh Manuel! Querido niño! Come here and give your auntie a big hug!"

  I watch, my hand covering my mouth to keep the giggles back as Manny is grabbed and rocked back and forth by this tiny woman. He's blushing like crazy and rolling his eyes at me.

  "Aunt Sophia, hello, long time no see!" He tries to untangle himself, and then his aunt steps back and grabs both of his cheeks between her fingers and squeezes. "

  "Niño tonto!"

  I think she's scolding him for not coming around or something.

  "Ow, Auntie, please, the cheeks!" Manny scowls and gently pushes her hands away.

  "Where have you been keeping yourself?" She finally notices me standing there. "Oh, and who is this lovely girl? Is this your amante, Manuel?"

  Manny's scowl deepens, and I wonder what "amante" means? I wish I'd taken Spanish, but I only know French.

  "No, she's just a friend, Auntie. Taryn, this is my crazy Aunt Sophia, Aunt Sophia, this is Taryn."

  She slaps Manny playfully on the arm. "Oh, so I'm loco, am I? You are lucky I love you so much!" She turns back to me. "Don't believe a word he says, mi querida! He's such a naughty boy!"

  Manny pulls me away from his aunt. "Do you know where Abuelo is? I want to introduce him to Taryn."

  "Oh, he's on the patio over there, in the shade." Sophia waves us away. "Nice to meet you, Taryn!" She calls after me.

  Manny hurries me across the dusty courtyard, dodging the party-goers.

  "Sorry about that. They always go for my damn cheeks, my aunties." He smiles grimly as I laugh.

  "She's cute. Everyone looks like their having such a fun time!"

  I look around at the festive decorations hanging from the walls and the house, everything in the green, white, and red of Mexico. There are wonderful smells coming from a corner where smoke is drifting around as a man and a woman fry fresh tortilla's and cook meat for tacos.

  A band is setting up in another corner, near a wooden dance floor, and in another spot is a very large bar covered in bottles of Tequila and cans of beer. Little children are running around waving handheld Mexican fans while a group of older children are bashing at a pinata hanging from a tree. It looks like the most fun party I've ever been to.

  Manny grabs my hand again, pulling me over to the patio where an old man sits on a couch, a blanket over his lap. His face is very wrinkled, and his dark eyes are sunken into his head, but he smiles and suddenly looks much younger.

  Manny approaches him almost reverently, kneeling at his side and taking his hands in his.

  "Abuelo, Happy Birthday!" He leans over and kisses his grandfather's cheek, and they embrace warmly.

  "Manuel, mi nieto! Usted vino, usted vino." Manny's grandfather strokes his hair lovingly and then allows him to sit back, looking up at me, then back at his grandson. "Usted ha traído un invitado?"

  Manny looks at me and smiles. "Abuelo, this is my friend. Mi amigo, Taryn. Taryn, this is my grandfather."

  I hold my hand out and give the older man a gentle smile. "Hello, I uh, don't speak Spanish, I'm sorry. But Happy Birthday!"

  Manny's grandfather smiles back at me and looks at Manny.

  "Dale las gracias. Ella es muy bonita."

  "Uh, grandpa says to tell you thank you, and that you are very pretty." Manny chuckles softly.

  "Aw, tell him thank you back! Or how do I say it?"

  "You say 'muchas gracias,'" Manny instructs me.

  I look back at his grandfather. "Muchas gracias, Sir."

  Manny stands up, and his grandfather beams at me and nods his head before rattling off a bunch more Spanish and gesturing at his grandson.

  Manny laughs and holds up his hands. "Bueno, bueno! Voy a ella algo de comida ahora!"

  We wave at his grandfather, and Manny leads me away.

  "He told me to get you some food!"

  We laugh, and my stomach growls.

  "Food sounds wonderful! And those tacos smell wonderful!" I tell him.

  Manny gives me a grin and puts his arm back around my waist, pulling me against his side.

  "They sure do. Let's go stuff our faces, Mexican style!"

  The tacos are amazing, better than what we serve at Taco, Taco, Taco, because these are authentic, with tender cuts of steak and chicken and a bunch of fresh vegetables, not just lettuce, tomato, and onion. I want to eat like twelve, but I don't want Manny to think I'm a pig, so I keep it at two.

  Manny is stuffing his face and sneaks us a couple margarita's when no one is looking. He has loosened up a shit ton, and I almost don't recognize him. He's smiling and laughing and yelling at his tons of cousins and uncles and aunties. He has his arm around my shoulders most of the time, and it feels really nice. Not like that smothering Patrick.

  I wind my arm around his waist as the band starts up, and he leans down and kisses me on the lips.

  Earlier I met his "Abuela", his grandma. She is housebound, and Manny took me inside to see her, but she didn't really see us. Manny explained she'd had a stroke a few years ago and now has Alzheimer's. She just laid in her hospital bed in the living room, small and old and grey but without the twinkling smile of her husband. I stood there quietly while Manny bent over the bed to kiss her, whispering something to her in Spanish. He told me later that he was praying for her.

  The sun has gone down now, and the party is in full swing. Someone has helped Manny's grandfather from the patio to the yard so he can watch the dancing from his lounge chair.

  The men are crowded around the bar, grabbing beer and tequila, and there is so much laughing and talking and music that I can't the silly smile from my face.

  Luis, the cousin, reappears, drunk as a skunk, and holds a drink out to me. "Hey, Hey, Taryn, right? You got to try this; it will burn your toes off!"

  Manny snorts and pushes Luis away. "Get lost, Luis. Taryn's not drinking that!"

  I laugh, staring at the drink, which is in a Mason jar and kind of peach-ish in color. "What is it?"

  "It's a Michelada," Manny explains. "You don't want to drink it, trust me. Not the way Luis makes them."

  "Oh, come on, you don't think your white girl can take it, eh?" Luis teases. "Your last girl liked it well enough! Woooweee!"

  Last girl? I'm guessing he's talking about Gina. Wow. I pull my arm from Manny's waist and feel his gaze on me. Well, I could have done without being reminded about that skank.

  I hold out my hand. "Sure, I'll try it."

  Luis grins, and Manny shakes his head.

  "No, Taryn, you don't-"

  "I think I can decide what I can a
nd cannot drink, Manny!" I interrupt him and take the Mason jar from Luis. I can already smell the spice and the lime. There is salt rimming the glass just like our margaritas, and I gingerly stick my tongue out to taste it.

  "Seriously, Taryn, you will not like it!" Manny is scowling slightly.

  Luis puts his arm around me, and he reeks from B.O. and beer, but because I know it might make Manny jealous, I leave his arm there and take a small sip. Mmmm...it's not bad. Just kind of like spicy beer, which I guess is what it is.

  Then suddenly the fire hits me, and I start to cough and choke.

  Luis cackles like a maniac and takes the glass from me while Manny pounds me on the back, laughing.

  "I told you!" He looks around and dashes over to a table where someone is serving cake and ice cream.

  My mouth is like lava, and tears are streaming from my eyes as I wave my hand in front of my mouth, like that's going to do any good.

  "You are a real chica inocente, aren't you?" Luis is leering at me, and Manny comes back, handing me the ice cream.

  "Here, eat this, it will help." He glares at Luis. "And you shut up. Don't talk to her or touch her again or I'll beat the shit out of you."

  Luis backs away as I shovel the cold ice cream into my mouth, feeling relief immediately.

  "I was just joking, man. Calmarse, alright?" Luis slithers away, and Manny takes my arm, leading me to a quiet corner.

  "You okay?"

  I try to laugh it off. "Oh my god, that was freaking hot!" I try wiping under my eyes, I'm sure my makeup has run. "Is my face a mess now?"

  Manny gently lifts my face and tries to clean it off with his thumb. "Mmm, well, kind of streaky." He laughs, and I punch him lightly in the gut.

  "Is there somewhere I can fix it?"

  "Yeah, follow me." He leads me across the courtyard and back into the house where there's a little half bath just off the kitchen. He leans against the wall, watching me in the mirror as I wet a paper towel and take off most of my eye makeup.

  "I'll be a little plain for the rest of the evening," I tell him. "Hope you don't mind."

  His lips slide into a tiny smile. "I think you look beautiful, with or without makeup."

  I turn around, leaning against the sink and crossing my arms. "I guess you like how much Gina wears."