Gambling On a Heart

by Sara Walter Ellwood

  Zack set his burger back on the plate. “What did she have to say?”

  “Henrietta doesn’t know how he can afford that truck either. He apparently is still mooching off her and his mother. He lives at Sandy’s until his mother gets fed up with his lazy butt, and then he goes to Henrietta’s for a few weeks. Promises to help her out around the house, but he never does. As far as I can tell from what Bobby has said, Jake must be doing well. He’s been buying new furniture for the trailer and can afford to sue me for custody. But what I don’t get is, if it’s so lucrative, why is he still running the garage?”

  Zack leaned back in the booth seat and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you know where Jake’s cargo is coming from?”

  She popped a french fry into her mouth. “Maybe Waco or Killeen. Or even Austin.”

  * * * *

  They ate in silence for a few moments, and Tracy couldn’t keep her eyes off Zack, while everyone in the diner seemed to be watching them. The rumor around Colton was Zack never dated. According to his aunt Winnie, he claimed he didn’t have time for a woman in his life. Nor did he want to confuse Amanda, who still believed her mother would come home someday. Tracy remembered her conversation with the little girl at the football game.

  Wait, you mean y’all can’t get married?

  What did she mean by that? Surely, Amanda wasn’t implying she wanted Zack and Tracy to get married.

  She shook her head and smiled.

  He wiped his mouth with the paper napkin, and his brow wrinkled into a frown. “What’s so funny?”

  She met his intense blue eyes and decided to throw everything down. “I was thinking about what Mandy said about us...ah...getting married the other day when we were talking about how...our families are connected.”

  His bewildered expression turned hard. “Mandy is going through a stage. She overheard Winnie and Mom talking about me needing a girlfriend. Now, Mandy got it in her head that I need another wife.”

  Tracy blinked at the idea and laid her hand over her chest. “And she picked me?”

  Zack stared at her with cold, unforgiving eyes as he said, “Yes, but it isn’t going to happen.”

  She looked away and swallowed her heart along with her pride.

  “But I’m still a man in need of a woman. I’m just not looking for a wife.”

  His voice was so low she wondered if she’d heard him correctly. Tracy brought her gaze back to his and the fire had melted the ice in his eyes. Unless Zack Cartwright had changed in the past fourteen years, she knew he was a man with a very healthy sex drive. He didn’t want her; he wanted a woman. Any woman would do.

  Was she willing to risk her heart if Zack never forgave her? Could she deny him if he wanted her to be the woman to appease his lust?

  She had no answers, but the way her body ached for his touch made her want to find out. “I was wondering...”

  He raised a brow in quiet question, and she forced herself not to look away. She sucked in her lip and wasn’t sure she wanted to ask.

  “Yes?” he prompted when she didn’t continue.

  “I was wondering if you and Amanda would like to come over to Oak Springs tomorrow evening for dinner. Mom and Dad have to go back to Washington for a week or two and are leaving in the morning...” When his lips flattened out, she realized she couldn’t push him. He had to come to her. Reaching for a possible explanation for wanting him to have dinner with her, she added, “Bobby and Amanda seemed to get along so well at the wedding, and I thought they might like to see each other again. She could bring along her bathing suit and the two of them could play in the pool.” When his expression didn’t soften, she averted her eyes to her half-eaten burger and murmured, “Oh, never mind. I don’t–”

  “What time?”

  Her jaw went slack as she looked up. She could barely force words past her suddenly dry throat. “Is five okay? That way the kids can play for a while before we eat.”

  “Sounds Good. Should I bring my trunks?”

  “Trunks?”

  He picked up his glass of Coke and the air buzzed with electricity as he pinned her with his gaze. “You said something about swimming.”

  * * * *

  As soon as Tracy got home, she found her mother in the kitchen. “Mom, what was I thinking?”

  Her mother laughed and continued stirring something delicious smelling in a large pot on the stove. “Hello, to you too, sweetheart. So, now what have you done?” Then she lost all the amusement. “Is Bobby okay?”

  “Bobby’s fine.” Tracy plopped onto a barstool and huffed.

  Her mom faced Tracy. “Logan can’t take your case?”

  “No. I mean, Logan is all gung-ho about it. He’s convinced we can win.”

  “Then what’s wrong? Is school going okay?”

  Tracy fought the impulse to roll her eyes, but barely. What was it with everyone’s fascination with her going back to school? “Yes, school is fine. I invited Zack to dinner tomorrow night.”

  “That’s wonderful!”

  “No, it’s not!” Tracy pushed a lock of hair from her face, deciding in that second she was cutting it. “Mom, you know I can’t cook. I wish you would be here to whip something wonderful up.”

  With a wistful smile, her mother said, “I wish I was, too. I’d have made my cranberry glazed pork chops.” She shook her head and laughed. “Actually, I’m glad Daddy and I won’t be here. This is a great opportunity for you.”

  Her mother opened the oversized refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of lemonade–fresh squeezed with lemon slices floating on top. She poured a glass and set it before Tracy.

  “Mom, what am I going to do? I can’t make a meal like your pork chops.”

  Her mother pursed her lips and opened her mouth to speak.

  Tracy cut her off. “And no, I won’t have you cook for me so all I’ll have to do is warm the meal. This was my brilliant idea. I guess I could make spaghetti or bake some chicken. With my luck the noodles will be soggy and the chicken dry like they always are.”

  “How about steaks on the grill?”

  “I can’t grill steaks.” Tracy jumped up from the bar and paced the kitchen. “The last time I even tried cooking steaks, one of them was raw and the other one was burnt.” She wasn’t at all sure what she wanted her mother to do about her situation. “I shouldn’t have been so impulsive. But we were having lunch together and...Mom, I think we might actually have something going for us. I just wanted to do something that didn’t happen by chance. Like lunch today or the football game the other evening. But I shouldn’t have–”

  “Tracy, don’t panic.”

  “Don’t panic?” She squeaked. “I’ll ruin any chance we have by cooking. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Ha! Not if I’m doing the cooking, it’s not. I think I’ll call and cancel. He’ll never want me again anyway. I broke his heart, and he’s still hung up on his dead wife. Zack just wants a roll in the hay–”

  Mom let out a sigh. “What time is he coming over?”

  “Five. I didn’t want him to think it was a date. So, I told him, if he came over early, Amanda and Bobby would have time to play.”

  “Good.”

  Tracy stopped pacing and looked at her mother. “Mom, am I making a mistake? I don’t want him to think I’m a slut...” She shook head and started pacing again. “Mandy really likes me. She’s such a little spitfire.”

  “She needs a mother.”

  “Yeah, but her father doesn’t want that woman to be me.”

  Her mother came around the counter and took Tracy into her arms as if she was still a little girl. “Tracy, Zack Cartwright is a good man. He’s honest and grounded–now that he’s not risking his fool neck by riding wild horses. He loved you once, sweetheart. No man forgets his first love–not completely. He may have loved his wife, but she’s dead and gone. And for a year now, the two of you have gone from avoiding each other to eating together, and setting the dance floor on fire.” Her mother paused.
Tracy met her blue eyes, and her mom took a deep breath. “Zack will come around. Just don’t underestimate yourself.”

  “Mom, what if I can’t make him fall in love with me again? What if he can’t forgive me?” What if I’m not what he’s looking for?

  “Sweetheart, you just be yourself, and Zack will fall head over heels in love with you.”

  “Who else would I be?” But she knew what her mother meant. She had to show Zack the rumors and the mistakes were not who she really was. But telling him wasn’t going to work. Zack had to see that she wasn’t a cheater or vindictive. He had to figure it out on his own that she had believed a man like Zack Cartwright couldn’t love a woman like her.

  “You know what I mean,” her mother softly said.

  “Yeah, I guess I do.” Tracy thrust out a long breath between her teeth. “Okay, but I still have no idea what to do about dinner. I just know I can’t grill steaks. I guess I could pick something up or order a pizza.”

  Her mother stepped away and shook her head. “You do know if you’d paid attention when I tried to teach you how to cook–”

  Tracy’s glare cut her off. Her mother chuckled and headed back to the stove and her big, bubbling pot. Tracy followed her and looked in as her mom stirred the contents.

  “Is that your special chili?”

  “Yes. Tom Miller brought me a whole bushel of tomatoes and a bunch of different kinds of peppers from a garden the ranch hands have over at the bunkhouse. He asked if I could make them some of my famous chili.”

  Tracy stared at her mother. “How on Earth could anyone know about your chili? You’ve only been here for two months?”

  She shrugged. “Probably Tom’s uncle, Jesse Riley. I’ve been making this recipe since I was a girl.” Her mother winked. Jesse was a handyman who worked on the ranch and her mother’s girlhood sweetheart. “I have an idea about your dinner. Plan to eat about six-thirty. Make a salad and throw some potatoes into the oven. Get some strip or T-bone steaks.”

  “Okay.” Tracy smiled and nodded. “That sounds easy enough.”

  Her mother chuckled and moved away from the pot. She opened a spice cabinet and rummaged around for a few moments, picking up bottles of spices to look at them. “Ah. Good. We have everything I’ll need.” She looked at Tracy again. “Get a piece of paper and a pen to write this down. I’m going to give you a simple recipe for a marinade that is to die for. Then when Zack gets here, you mention about grilling the steaks outdoors, and I’ll bet my secret chili recipe he’ll jump right in and want to cook them.” She winked and together they said, “Because grilling steaks is a man thing.”

  * * * *

  After Zack tucked Mandy into bed, he went out into the living room. It was late, but he knew sleep wouldn’t come easy. Lunch that afternoon had proved to him just how attracted he was to Tracy.

  He wanted her.

  And after denying the fact to himself for the best part of a year, he was finally ready to admit he had to have her.

  He stood before the floor-to-ceiling window and looked out over the darkened beauty of his ranch. Rain pelted the window while thunder sounded over the distant ridge. Lightning flashed lighting up the land. Beyond the yard and pasture was the lake where so many of his memories had occurred, where so many of his dreams had been born. In every one of those dreams, Tracy stood beside him. Back then, he’d wanted to eventually take over his share of the ranch and raise cattle. His father and uncle had thought the idea was crazy. He was only eighteen. What did he know about anything?

  Nothing.

  As the thunder chased the harsh light from the sky, he turned away from the window. Logan had given him a shoebox full of crap, explaining he’d found it when he’d cleaned out his condo in Dallas. Zack hadn’t asked what was in the box; he’d simply tossed it amongst the clutter of Mandy’s play dishes, and his latest ranch and law enforcement magazines on the coffee table.

  Picking up the old box, he sat down on the couch. He stared down at it. Would opening the lid bring chaos like the fabled Pandora’s Box?

  Chuckling, he mumbled, “You are becoming way too introspective, Zack, my boy.”

  Taking a deep breath, he lifted the lid. The world didn’t stop spinning, and as far as he could tell, no demons were unleashed, but his heart missed a few beats and breathing was impossible. He thought he’d thrown out all this stuff. How the hell did Logan get his hands on it?

  The first thing on top was a snapshot of him and Tracy standing before the Christmas tree at his parents’ house. It was taken on Christmas Eve at a party. He picked it up and stared down into the image of them, smiling, hugging, two teenagers with big chips on their shoulders. Tracy had been shy about the 35mm camera his younger brother had pointed at them at every turn. He remembered what had happened later that night.

  His grandparents had been out of town, and he’d stayed in the old log house to keep an eye on things for them. His grandfather knew Zack loved the old house and just wanted his own space; so, every time he and Grandma went to Palm Springs, the old man let Zack stay over.

  Following the party that Christmas Eve, Zack had brought Tracy here, and he’d told her about his dreams after making love to her. She must have found his ideas boring, because she’d fallen to sleep. At the time, he’d found it endearing. After all, he’d made love to her several times before he spilled his guts.

  Beneath the Christmas picture was a large professionally done photograph of Tracy. Taken senior year, it was the one in their yearbook. Her hair was permed and curled high, sprayed stiff with too much hairspray. Her makeup was a little overdone, but she took his breath away.

  He slowly laid it beside him on the couch and picked up the next picture–a blown up snapshot of them on graduation day. As lightning flashed and thunder rattled the glass in the big windows, he went back in time. They were dressed in their caps and gowns, proudly holding their diplomas–and each other. Around her neck was the sash of an honor student, and a corsage of white roses was pinned to her breast signifying her as the class salutatorian. He’d been just happy to get through school. He hadn’t cared about being valedictorian, so he’d gotten rid of the trappings as soon as he’d finished the speech and his diploma was in his hand.

  “Is that you and Miz Tracy?”

  He started and looked up to Mandy standing before him in her nightgown. She hugged the stuffed rabbit Lisa had given to her, and sucked on her thumb. She only did that when she was afraid.

  He set aside the past and reached for the little girl he loved more than anything. As he pulled her onto his lap, he asked, “Can’t you sleep, baby girl?”

  She moved her head in the negative against his chest and snuggled close. “You didn’t answer my question.”

  He chuckled low in his chest. Amanda Jean Cartwright might only be six years old, but she was nobody’s fool. “Yeah, that’s me and Miz Tracy. We were graduating high school.”

  “Was Momma there?”

  “No.” He sighed. “I hadn’t met your momma yet.”

  “Oh.” She shifted away and looked into the box sitting beside him on the couch. The next photo was of him and Tracy kissing by the barn. He hadn’t even known the picture was taken until Logan had tried to blackmail him with it. “Did you like her?”

  “Yeah, Mandy, I did.” How did he tell a six-year-old about the kind of betrayal he’d suffered? “But she decided she liked Bobby’s daddy more.”

  Mandy lay back against him again. “I wish she liked you again. Miz Tracy could be your friend and my substitute momma if she did. She could give me a baby sister and Bobby would be my big brother.”

  “Amanda Jean.” He breathed and held her close. The picture of the passionate kiss drew his attention, and he was painfully reminded how much he missed Tracy Quinn.

  And how much he wished he could fulfill his daughter’s wish.

  Chapter 9

  Bobby hung up the old wall phone in the kitchen and sulked into the living room where Jake sat on his new leather re
cliner. Bobby bit on his bottom lip–an annoying habit he’d inherited from the bitch. Something had him thinking.

  “Hey, T-Rex, what did she say to you?” Jake muted the Thursday night football game on TV.

  Bobby sat on the edge of the couch and shrugged a shoulder. “Mom’s dating another guy again.”

  “And that surprises you?” Jake didn’t even try to keep the sarcasm from his voice.

  “I guess not, but I never met any of those other guys.” Bobby took a deep breath and looked up at Jake. “It’s the sheriff. She said they’re coming over to ranch for supper tomorrow night.”

  “They?”

  “Sheriff Cartwright and Mandy.”

  Ah, yeah, the daughter. “How do you feel about your mom and the sheriff together?” Jake took a drink from the bottle of Coors in his hand. He tossed the remote onto the table beside his chair as he regarded Bobby over the tilted bottle.

  “I don’t know. I like Mandy. She’s okay for a girl.” Bobby played with his fingers by entwining them, then straightening them. “The sheriff’s okay, too, I guess.”

  Jake lowered the bottle. “Except he yelled at you when he has no right to. He’s not related to you in any way that matters.”

  Bobby hesitated and then nodded. “Yeah, I guess. But Mom said he didn’t really yell.”

  After setting the beer down beside the remote on the messy end table, Jake sat forward and peered at Bobby. “Don’t let your mother talk you into believin’ something that didn’t happen, Bobby.” Damn, how he wished he could change the boy’s name. He hated that, in a weak moment after his birth, Tracy talked him into naming his son after her arrogant father. “Cartwright can’t be trusted.”

  “What do you mean?” Bobby fidgeted on his seat.

  “He’s the reason I wasn’t able to play professional ball.” When Bobby’s face pinched in a pretty good imitation of a question mark, Jake explained, “Back in high school I was on my way to playing the best ball around. I was scouted out and given a scholarship to Texas A and M to play for them at the end of the season of my junior year. But because I trusted that–” He caught the word bastard just in time. “Trusted Zack, I tore up my right knee and couldn’t play at all my senior year. I lost the money and the chance to go to school. Unlike your mom, I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.”