Gambling On a Heart

by Sara Walter Ellwood

  “Zack, I–I need you in me now.”

  And he couldn’t have agreed more. With a little maneuvering, he had her on her back and kneeled between her legs.

  “The condoms are in the drawer,” she rasped.

  He ripped the package open and suited up. Entering her to the hilt, he groaned and his eyes fluttered closed. He kept the rhythm slow while he caressed her flat belly to her breasts. At first, he kneaded the small mounds, then plucked at the puckered nipples.

  “Oh, that feels so good.”

  “One of these days, I’m gonna make you come by playing with your breasts.”

  She lazily smiled and opened her eyes. “That’s not possible.”

  He knew his grin was cocky and didn’t care. “Oh, I think it is, and I’m more than willing to try.” He kissed her and then dragged his lips down her neck to one of her nipples. He licked the bud, and she wrapped her legs around him and tried to move against him. She begged him to take her where she wanted to go. He held himself still, filling her but not thrusting for as long as he could, but his own need was too much. Soon, he brought his mouth back to hers, pulled out only to plunge back in, and set a pace that would give them what they both wanted.

  He stared down into her glazed eyes and clenched his teeth to keep the growl contained as his release boiled through him. She moaned his name as her own orgasm quaked through her.

  And he lost his heart to her all over again.

  She’d always had his soul.

  * * * *

  Tracy woke with her head on Zack’s shoulder and his arms around her. Was she dreaming? Soft morning light glowed around the heavy drapes at the windows. Then the past night came back to her. She’d sensed a subtle change in him when she broke down; the wall he’d built around himself began to crack. If she hadn’t felt it, she’d never have been able to seduce him as she had.

  He shifted beneath her, and before she knew how it happened, their positions switched. Smiling, he leaned over her and said in a sexy, deep Southern drawl, “Good mornin’, gorgeous.”

  She patted the upper arm on which he supported himself. The muscle was a solid mass. She may not have been born and raised in Texas, but she was Texas bred and could drawl out her words as well as the best Southern belle. “You already have me in bed, sir. And I’m more than willin’, so there’s no need to flatter me.”

  He laughed; the deep rumble skittered across her senses. “You have no idea, do you?”

  “About what?” She held her breath, unsure of what she was expecting. Her pulse fluttered as he skimmed the backs of his fingers up her arm.

  “I think you are the sexiest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”

  A tremble shook though her, and she stared up at him with wide eyes. Did he honestly believe that? Could she believe it?

  With a lopsided grin and a shake of his head, he leaned over her and kissed her senseless. When she thought she’d succumb to either asphyxia or desire, he pulled away, leaving her achy with want. “As much as I’d like to stay in bed and show you exactly how damned sexy you are, I think we’d better get up. I’d like to be dressed and down stairs before the kids are up.”

  She smiled up at him, and her heart swelled with so much love it hurt. Even while her body protested the idea, he was right. “Forever the voice of reason.”

  “That’s me.” He nuzzled her neck, then sat up on the end of the bed. “Do you think you can find a sitter for Bobby tonight?”

  She sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover her chest. “I don’t know. Why?”

  “I was thinking we could go to Logan’s gig at the Longhorn if you can find a sitter. We did kinda promise him.”

  “I suppose I could call Mary Estrada. Her son Andy and Bobby are best friends.”

  “Call her. I’m sure I can get Amy Jackson to babysit Mandy. We can’t stay out long, but I want to take you out on a proper date, even if it is just to the Longhorn Saloon.”

  * * * *

  “Bobby.”

  He groaned and covered his head with the blanket. The sun was up, but he wasn’t ready to get out of bed yet.

  “Bobby, wake up.”

  More awake after she shook his shoulder, he peeked out from under his warm covers and came face to face with Mandy. Man did she have one awful mess of bed-head. Her black hair was all tangled and the bangs his mom had given her stuck up on one side. “What are you doin’ in my room?”

  She pushed a clump of hair from her face and climbed up to sit on the edge of his twin bed. “I woke up and had to pee. I was on the way back to my room when I heard my daddy’s voice coming from Tracy’s room. Then I heard them laugh. I think he and your momma had a sleepover, too.” Mandy giggled and covered her mouth. “I didn’t think grownups had sleepovers. Wanna go surprise ’em?”

  Bobby pushed himself up to a sitting position and stared at her. He considered her one of his best friends, until she said stuff like that. She was such a baby.

  His Dad had women stay over all the time when he stayed with him. And he knew what went on when the bedroom door closed, especially after he snuck in one time and caught them wrestling together naked. He had never seen his dad as mad as he was that time, nor had he ever been so afraid of him either.

  He’d promised Dad never to tell Mom about what he’d seen. His dad said his mom wouldn’t let Bobby come to stay with him anymore if she knew about it. Logan had asked Bobby if he’d ever seen his dad with a girl a few days ago, and he told him the truth. He liked Logan, even though Dad hated his guts.

  “No. Don’t ever go into the bedroom when grownups are together. They’re probably doin’ sex.” Bobby grimaced at the thought of kissing a girl and touching her while they were naked.

  Mandy scrunched up her brow and tilted her head. “What’s that?”

  He groaned again and shook his head. “Don’t you know anything? Sex. It’s like where babies come from.”

  Her eyes got so big he thought they would pop right out of her head. “Babies! My daddy and your momma are gonna have a baby?”

  “Shhh!” Bobby ran a hand through his hair. “No. It doesn’t always work.” He didn’t know exactly how it did all work or all that much about the subject. He only knew what his uncle Brent had told him when he’d asked him about what his dad did with those girls he brought home. “I just know a guy and a girl have to do a lot of kissing and touching to make a baby. I guess they have to practice a lot to get it right.”

  “Are they gonna get married? My daddy said people should be married before having babies.”

  “Who knows?” He shrugged. The more he got to know Zack, the more he liked him. Zack didn’t get mad at him, not like Dad did at times. The other night after the game, Zack had bought him ice cream and told him he didn’t care that the team lost the game. “The important thing is you had fun and gave it your best.”

  Bobby had been mad when his mom said he couldn’t go to his dad’s last night. Dad had told Bobby he’d soon be living all the time with him, but he didn’t want that either. He’d miss his mom too much. And he’d miss Mandy.

  “Do you think your dad will be off work today? Since it’s Saturday?”

  Mandy shrugged and pulled at the bottom of the t-shirt his mom had given her to wear as a nightgown over her knees. “I donno. Sometimes he’s off. But usually he’s workin’. He’s tryin’ to catch those bad guys who stole our horses.” She puckered her brow again. “Why?”

  He swallowed and looked down at the Batman comforter covering him. “Well, since my mom has to work at her shop today, I was wonderin’ if I could come over to your place and he could teach me how to ride a horse. I liked it the other night when we got ice cream and he talked about his days in rodeo. He must’ve had lots of fun.”

  “He must like you, because he never tells me anything about when he rode broncos. I think he’s afraid Momma won’t like it.”

  “You said something like that before. That your mom wouldn’t let your dad ride in the rodeo anymore. Why not?”


  “I donno.” Mandy sighed and averted her eyes to her hands lying in her lap. “I don’t remember much about Momma now. Just things like her singing to me. She had a pretty voice. And us goin’ to the park by our house before it got too cold. I remember more of bein’ afraid of Daddy when he came back from the war. He always yelled at Momma and made her cry. I didn’t like bein’ at home when he was there. I liked staying with my Grammy and Pappy. They live on a ranch and have cows and horses and chickens.”

  What kind of person was Zack? Bobby remembered his dad’s warning about Zack acting nice when he really wasn’t. Maybe Dad was right. “How’s your dad now?”

  She perked up and smiled her gap-toothed grin. “Oh, now he’s a lot different. He’s real sorry about how he yelled at Momma and that I got so scared. He had that–that P...P...D–something or other.”

  “P...T...S...D.” He said each letter slowly so he wouldn’t mess it up. “My uncle Dylan had it, too.”

  “That’s it. Anyway, Daddy was real messed up after coming home from the war. He almost died. At least that’s what I heard my Pappy tell someone once.”

  “My Uncle Dylan almost died, too. He was blown up. I’ve heard my granddad talk about it. Lots of soldiers get PTSD. I guess when they get over it they go back to being happy again. Uncle Dylan did after he met Aunt Charli.”

  “Daddy did when we moved here. I don’t think he liked Wyoming.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugged and pulled on her t-shirt again. “Donno. I don’t think Pappy and Grammy liked him. And I don’t think Grandma–Daddy’s momma–liked my momma much either. She called her a bad name one day to my Aunt Winnie. They didn’t know I was listenin’. Grandma said, ‘Lisa’s still controlling Zack even beyond the grave.’” She tilted her head and met Bobby’s gaze. “I don’t know what she meant, but that’s when Aunt Winnie said Daddy needed a girlfriend.”

  Bobby didn’t comment. What kind of marriage did Zack and Mandy’s mom have? He knew his granddad and grandma didn’t like his dad. If no one wanted her parents to get married and they fought all the time, maybe they had the same kind of marriage his mom and dad had. His mom seemed so sad before she divorced his dad. Now since Zack started coming around, she’d hum to herself and often smiled even when no one was around as if she was thinking of something she liked.

  Maybe no one should get married at all. But then there was his granddad and grandma Quinn. They’d been married forever and still seemed to like each other. He caught his granddad kissing his grandma the day before they left to go back to Washington. Dylan and Charli always held hands, just as he’d seen his mom and Zack do the other night at the football game. He’d never seen such things between his mom and dad, even before they got divorced.

  Did that mean his mom and dad really didn’t like each other? But then why did they get married?

  Mandy broke into his confusing thoughts. “Hey, do you wanna make ’em breakfast? Daddy likes Cheerios.”

  “Mom likes them, too.” At the thought of Mandy and him making bowls of cereal and coffee for his mom and Zack like he’d seen in TV shows, he smiled. Maybe he could pretend Mandy was his little sister. He’d always wondered what having a little sister or brother would be like. “Yeah. Let’s go.” As they headed out the bedroom door, Bobby warned, “Oh, don’t mention anything about what I told you. Kids aren’t supposed to know about what grownups do. So, let’s keep it our little secret. Okay?”

  She took his hand and squeezed it as she pulled him along the hall to the stairs. “Okay.”

  * * * *

  The clanging of dishes echoed from the kitchen as Tracy and Zack descended the stairs. She turned and faced him. “Well, I think the kids are already up. Now what?”

  He stopped in the foyer and glanced in the direction of the kitchen. “I could always go outside and ring the doorbell and they’ll think I just got here.”

  With a raised brow, she laughed. “Zachery, that has to be the craziest thing you’ve ever come up with. How do you explain your wet hair or the fact you’re holding your boots in your hand? It’s almost as bad as the whopper you told my dad Christmas morning after bringing me home when we spent that night together.”

  He chuckled and shrugged. “I never figured he’d call my parents to check our stories. I only figured, if you called and told your dad and mom you were spending the night with my cousin Faith, they’d never question it. When he cornered me the next morning, I just spouted the first thing that popped into my mind, which was my truck broke down.”

  Amusement of the old memory brightened the stubble-rough face, and small crinkles creased the corners of his eyes. The light coming in the entry windows played over his damp hair and picked out gold highlights. Darker honey-colored ringlets curled at his ears. She remembered a younger Zack standing in this very same foyer and facing down an angry Bob Quinn. “What did Dad say to you, anyway? You’ve never told me.”

  Zack groaned and he lost the smile, but not the humor in his bottomless blue eyes. “He pulled me into the parlor and gave me the same speech he’d give to a new recruit.”

  Her eyes widened. “The safe-sex–AKA condom–lecture?”

  “You got it. That had to be the most embarrassing conversation I’ve ever had.”

  She covered her mouth, but the snort escaped, and she laughed so hard tears came to her eyes. She leaned her forehead on his shoulder.

  “Sure, laugh at my expense. It was damned embarrassing enough when my old man told me that stuff–a year too late, mind you. But to have my girlfriend’s father do it was excruciating to say the least.”

  She wiped her eyes and looked into his contorted expression. “I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation, my mother gave me a similar lecture about birth control pills. She was all ready to make an appointment at the doctor until I told her I’d been on the Pill since that September. I swear, I thought Mom was gonna fall off the chair. She had no idea I’d lost my virginity long before that Christmas Eve.”

  He chuckled and wrapped his free arm around her waist. His boots dangled at his side from his other hand. “No wonder your mother watched us like a hawk for a month of Sundays after that day. When will the general and your mom be home?”

  She groaned and laid her head on his shoulder again, drinking in the easy, comfortable feeling. “They were going to leave Washington yesterday. She called me last night from Bristol, Tennessee. She said they should be here sometime Sunday afternoon, same day Dylan, Charli, and Annie are flying home.”

  “You don’t sound happy about the return of your parents.”

  “I don’t know how I feel. When Mom’s here, she takes over. Not in a mean way and not even in a bad way, but she suddenly cooks every meal and does all the laundry and all the cleaning.”

  Zack snickered. “I figured you’d be loving that. You hate to cook, and I’ve never met a woman who likes to clean and do laundry.”

  “That’s what I meant by not in a bad way. I do hate doing those things, but when she takes over it makes me feel–”

  “Inadequate?”

  She pulled back and met his gaze. “Exactly. Like I don’t already have enough to feel inadequate about. I love my parents, but sometimes I wonder how this living together is going to work. Sometimes I wish I’d just stayed in my apartment.”

  He lowered his brow in thought, but before he could speak, the kitchen door down the hall swung open. Zack jumped back as Mandy came running out. She was still dressed in a pink t-shirt Tracy had given her to wear. Mandy took their hands and pulled them into the kitchen.

  “Hey, you sleepyheads, we made you breakfast!”

  “Hi, Mom. I’m making toast and brewed coffee.” Bobby stood on a footstool and bent over the counter to peer down in the toaster. “You’ll have to pour the coffee, then I think we can eat.” When the toast popped up, Bobby put it on a plate already piled high. He jumped off the stool and moved around the island to the table with the plate of golden toast. As he passed them, he looked at
Zack. “Morning, Sheriff.”

  Her eyes stung at the scene of him setting the plate on the table set with bowls of cereal, orange juice, and a jar of grape jelly.

  Mandy pulled on her hand. “You sit here.” Tracy obeyed and sat at the end of the table. “Daddy, you’re here.”

  Zack put his boots beside the chair at the other end of the table. He looked across the meal their children had prepared and slowly sat in the chair. She sensed he was as overwhelmed as she was.

  “This is really great,” Zack said after clearing his throat, but his voice was still thick.

  “Thanks, Daddy.” Mandy beamed with pride. “Did you have a nice sleepover with Tracy, too?”

  Across the table, Bobby narrowed his eyes on Mandy and shook his head. What was that about?

  Then Mandy leaned toward him and said in a loud whisper, “I didn’t say anything about sex. But when the baby comes, I get to name her.”

  Bobby groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Oh, Mandy...”

  Tracy’s mouth dropped open, and she caught Zack’s mortified expression. At long last, he rubbed back of his red-tinged neck and let out a long breath. “I stand corrected. This is the most embarrassing conversation I’ve ever had.”

  “Yep.” With her cheeks burning, she glanced at Bobby. “I think you and I need to have a talk, young man.” Dear Lord, she hadn’t planned to have that conversation for a few more years. Bobby’s cheeks were red, and he stared at the table. Needing to do something, Tracy jumped up to pour coffee.

  She returned with steaming cups and set one before Zack. His brows furrowed as he looked at his daughter. “Mandy, there isn’t going to be a baby.”

  When her little face melted, Tracy felt the disappointment in her own heart. Mandy brightened almost instantly and shrugged. “That’s okay. But I want a baby sister soon.”

  Tracy met Zack’s gaze across the table as he swallowed hard enough to make his throat move. He looked at Mandy again. The warmth from earlier completely sucked from the room as surely as if an arctic breeze blew through, leaving it as cold as the empty spaces in her heart.