No Offense

by Francesca D'Armata

  “Yes, sir. Right place, right time, right people. I’ve heard that before.”

  He held down the next finger. “Go to church.”

  “Yes, sir. I do. Twice a week.”

  “Don’t ever deliver anything for anybody.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He held down the last finger. “And don’t ever call that number again.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I don’t want to find you near anybody like that man again. Ever again.”

  “Don’t worry, Sergeant Donovan. I won’t. He was creepy. Handing out lunch sacks sealed up like they were gold. I knew this wasn’t some free-lunch program. I was told it wasn’t illegal. You have to be careful who you trust, Sergeant. I’m sure Jenny doesn’t know how bad it is. My courier days are over. I’m never delivering anything like that for anybody again, no matter how much they pay me. Period.”

  “Good then. We understand each other. Now Officer Montgomery will take you home.”

  “Sergeant?”

  “Yes, Miss Paupher?”

  “Did he get arrested?”

  “Who?”

  “Your brother.”

  “No, since he was fourteen, it wasn’t against the child labor laws for him to work.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. But remember, I’ll personally send you to juvenile hall if you ever call that number again.”

  “Sergeant, if I was starving to death, living under a bridge, I wouldn’t call that number.”

  “Good.” The sergeant stuck Montgomery’s report in a machine, disintegrating it. He stood, indicating they were done. “Now scoot before you get hurt. This place is dangerous.”

  “Yes, sir.” Steely started down the hall with him beside her. “Sergeant Donovan, you’re really nice. People shouldn’t say those bad things about you. You’re nothing but nice.”

  “Nothing but nice?” He smiled and shook his head. “Officer Montgomery, come take this young lady home!” He winked at her. “I don’t ever want to see you in here again.”

  “Yes, sir.” She flashed her eyes at the wall of offenders and then back at Donovan. Cupping her hands by her mouth, she whispered, “Don’t worry. I won’t tell them you’re nice.”

  “Get going!” he said.

  Montgomery swooped up behind Steely and ushered her out.

  Chapter nine

  Steely found a job within a week at the posh Westminster Theater. She was selling little bags again. But this time, they were filled with buttered popcorn. Her first weekly paycheck netted $68.78. It was still short of what she needed, but she wouldn’t end up in juvenile hall or get a tag with her identity tied to her toe.

  The job had good perks too. Free movies, popcorn, and sodas made with real syrup. A month before her sixteenth birthday, Steely passed her driver’s test for a hardship license so she could drive herself to work. When the theater needed cleaning after each showing, she was the first one inside to pick up. Most of the time, she’d finish before any of her older coworkers even showed up. There were no issues, until one Saturday afternoon.

  The new sci-fi movie, The Jupiterian, was about to begin its second showing of the day. Steely was in the auditorium when she spotted a group of kids coming in the theater. She didn’t recognize any of them, except one. The Cricket. She shot right over in Steely’s direction. There was nowhere to escape. So she did the only thing she could: she ducked between two rows of seats. But it was too late.

  “Pauper?” Cricket said, looking down at Steely curled up on the floor. “You weirdo. What are you doing down there?”

  Steely reached for the back of a chair and pulled herself up, popcorn stuck on her knees, soda dripping from her sleeves. “I’m—” She didn’t get another word out before Cricket spotted the blue skirt, white blouse, and name tag pinned on her left shoulder.

  Cricket lit up with excitement. “What are you doing working here?” Before Steely could answer, Cricket pointed and razzed. “You’re only fifteen! Today is my lucky day!”

  Steely knew better than to try to reason with Cricket. But she had little choice. “Please be quiet. I’ve had no problems here. Everybody likes me.”

  “Do they like liars? ’Cause that’s what you are—a deceiver. You’re not old enough to work. You’re breaking the law.” Cricket was purposely loud enough to draw stares from the surrounding guests.

  Steely said, quickly rattling off her excuses. “It’s not against the law. I’ll be sixteen soon. Please don’t say anything. Throw my lunch in the toilet again. Stick some more blue cheese in the cracks of my locker. I don’t care if my books stink. But please don’t say anything.”

  “I’m a reasonable person.”

  “Really?” Steely said under her breath.

  “Maybe we can negotiate.”

  “What do you want?” Steely prepared for any menial chore or degrading favor. Cleaning Cricket’s locker. Washing her sweaty gym clothes. Serving her lunch in the cafeteria.

  Cricket sneered. “I want to better my education.”

  Steely whispered, “What you do want from me?”

  Cricket slid close to Steely, where no one else could hear. “You’re supposed to be the smartest algebra student in the city.”

  “I did win a contest—”

  “Mrs. Dryer always says, ‘Let Steely help you. She’s an angel,’” snipped Cricket. “Looks like the angel has fallen.”

  “You want me to tutor you? Sure, I’ll help you. No problem. Let’s meet every day after class. I’ll help you all the way to an A. Algebra is easy once you get the hang of it. It’s a deal!” She held out a hand, which Cricket promptly brushed away.

  “That’s not exactly what I had in mind. I don’t need algebra to get me where I want to go in life. I need a higher GPA.”

  “Algebra can help in many ways. Just about any type of business. Calculations will go faster with algebra. It’s my favorite subject.”

  “Will you shut up and listen?” Cricket glanced around and squeezed in tight. “Mrs. Dryer has only two different tests for all her classes.”

  Steely put her hand on her forehead. The Cricket didn’t want to learn. She wanted to cheat.

  “I’ll get you copies of both tests each week. You fill in the answers. You help me, and I’ll help you. We help each other.” Cricket crossed her arms and waited for a response.

  “Let me teach you. I know I can help you. Then you will have earned your grade.”

  “There is nothing I want to learn from you. You need to learn from me if you want to get ahead in life. Give me an answer key for the tests, and I’ll forget about your deception.”

  Steely raised her voice. “The only thing I’ve learned from you is what not to do.” People turned and stared as she walked off.

  Cricket hollered, “You’re as dumb as you look! You Paupers don’t know a good deal when you see one!”

  The manager terminated Steely on the spot. He said he hated to do it but had no choice when Cricket threatened to call his boss.

  Before Steely made it to the car, her cell was buzzing. It was her mother. “Steely, I don’t feel well. Can you come on home?”

  “I’m on the way, Mom.”

  Four minutes later, she rocketed the car up the driveway and ran inside. Her mom was sitting on the sofa. She could tell her mother’s heart was beating rapidly, but she was breathing better. Steely had made her doctor’s appointments twice. One of the best medical centers in the world was in walking distance. But her mom wouldn’t go. Steely thought about having her picked up against her will. But she couldn’t force her mother into the hospital without a court order. She’d checked. And she was too young to get one.

  “Are you going back to work, baby?” her mom asked.

  She said casually, “No, ma’am. I’m done.”

  “I hope I didn’t get you in trouble.”

  “Not at all, Mom. You’re never any trouble.” Steely sat on the sof
a with an arm around her mother’s shoulder. She glanced over at the kitchen. “Did you eat your lunch?”

  “I wasn’t hungry. I’ve been feeling so good until the last few days. I’ve just had a setback.”

  “It’s only a temporary setback. Are you sure you’ll be OK if I go to Erin’s surprise party tonight? I can skip it if you need me here.”

  “You’ve been going to her parties since you were five. I’ll be fine.” Her mom looked away. “I’m getting off this couch and finding a job.”

  “I got you, Mom. You took care of me all my life. Take all the time you need. But if you feel bad again, promise me you’ll go to the doctor.”

  “We’ll see.”

  Chapter ten

  Steely gave her hair a squirt of antifrizz and darted to the kitchen. Her mom was cozy in her pajamas on the sofa watching her dramas, the ones where the stories were crazy enough to cause her to forget her problems.

  Her mom perked up when Steely came in. “Your hair looks so cute.”

  “I straightened it. It doesn’t look stiff, does it?”

  “It’s perfect, but I like it curly too. I’ll tell you this: my girl will be the prettiest one at the party.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” Steely retrieved an already prepared sandwich and a glass of milk and set them in her mother’s lap.

  “Baby, you quit making my food.”

  “It’s the only way I know you’re eating. Make sure you drink your milk.”

  “Next week I’m looking for a job. You do way too much around here. I want you to quit your job and enjoy your life.”

  “I am, Mom. Everything is fine.” Steely dashed to the front door. She checked the gift bag again.

  “You make a mighty fine PB and J.” Her mother took a bite, clipping a corner of the sandwich and downing it with a swallow of milk. “Oh, Steely, we got another cashier’s check in the mail. It’s on the table by the door—beside the gift bag.”

  Just in time. Steely flipped the envelope over, checking for a return address. “No name again.” She opened it and held the check up to a lamp, looking for any clue that would reveal the sender.

  “I called the bank. It’s real. They said to bring them in.”

  “I’m going to take them in the morning.” She set the check on a corner of the table. “I’ll only be gone a couple of hours, Mom.” Rearranging the tissue stuffed meticulously inside, she peeked in the gift bag again. “I’m walking since I’d have to park a block away because of the surprise. I’ll catch a ride home.”

  “Erin is going to be shocked that you found a candle just like yours.”

  “She was so excited when I won mine at school. I just had to get it for her.”

  “This one cost way more than a buck for a raffle ticket.”

  “It’s worth it to see the look on her face.”

  “I hope she hasn’t gotten snooty.”

  Steely smiled. “She’s the same old Erin. Just with a bigger house.”

  Mom raised her voice. “She better appreciate you!”

  “Gotta go now. Love you, Mom!” Steely took off with the gift bag in tow.

  Already a few minutes late, it wouldn’t have mattered if she took the car instead of making the ten-minute walk. The sidewalk and road were both blocked by a crossing train. It was six endless minutes before the caboose chugged past and the crossing bars lifted. She hurried along, bouncing the gift bag at her side. It wasn’t long before she heard music and smelled steak sizzling over mesquite.

  Erin’s street was strangely desolate. There was not a person in sight, which you would expect for a surprise party. But oddly every curb had a car against it. Many had parking citations blowing from the wipers. The metal no-parking signs on one side of the street were currently being ignored.

  The partiers could be seen dancing through the life-sized living-room windows. The fun was underway.

  Erin must have gotten home early.

  Steely sprinted up the sidewalk toward the front door. She almost slipped when Erin popped out, startling her. She quickly regained her balance and prepared to greet her friend. “Happy birthday, Erin! Sorry I didn’t get here in time to surprise you.”

  Erin took a step forward under the porch light. Something wasn’t right. Steely had read Erin’s face most of her life. She knew when Erin was happy and when she wasn’t. Clearly she was annoyed.

  Erin planted herself between Steely and the front door. “Steely?”

  Steely usually avoided confrontation, but she was always ready to defend her friend if the situation called for it. “Was someone rude to you? Tell me what happened.” She spread her arms in preparation of their usual greeting. A hug.

  But Erin clammed.

  Steely’s arms flopped to her sides. “Was it those same girls from last week? You know—the ones who called you hefty?”

  “Nope.” Erin folded her arms, slightly tapped her foot.

  Maybe I didn’t dress right.

  “Erin, your dress is beautiful. I didn’t know the party was dressy. Are my jeans and knit top OK? I can go home and change.”

  Erin was unresponsive, simply glaring at her.

  Steely tried again. “You’re not mad because I’m late, are you?” She could have guessed all night and would not have figured out why the girl was agitated. Her apprehension grew. “Come on, Erin. What’s wrong?”

  The birthday girl tightened the grip on her crossed arms. “What are you doing here?”

  Steely’s stomach suddenly ached. Her eyes moistened. “It’s your birthday, silly. I’m coming to your—”

  “Steely, this party is only for a certain group of friends. It’s invitation only.”

  “Uh?” Steely was puzzled. “Wasn’t it a surprise party?”

  “Surprise? I totally planned it myself.”

  “I got an invitation.”

  “No, you didn’t,” Erin snipped. “We’ll do lunch next week. OK?”

  Steely had a visual of the Cricket inside, buckling in laughter. Her invitation to a “surprise party” was a counterfeit. Steely gripped the handles of the gift bag. “Aren’t we best friends?”

  “Sure we are,” whispered Erin. “But sometimes we have to expand our relationships.”

  She replied with restraint. “You mean you’re expanding me out?”

  The sky rumbled above them.

  The invitees stopped dancing. They started gawking at the scene in the front yard. The moment escalated when the Cricket barged out. “Erin, come back in. We’re about to start the dance contest!” Cricket acknowledged Steely with her usual contempt. “Hey, Pauper, are you part of the catering service?” Cricket’s verbal assault set off an eruption of cackling inside.

  The gift bag edged off Steely’s fingers, landing between them. “No, Cricket, I’m her best—”

  Erin cut her off. “She’s on her way home.” With one swift motion, Erin scooped up the bag. “Everything is good. Go back inside, Cricket. I’ll be right there.”

  But Cricket wasn’t finished. She yelled, “And, Pauper, quit goo-gooing over Nick.”

  Steely rolled her lips tightly together.

  Erin looked away.

  “You better quit stalking him before he calls the police,” Cricket ranted. “You know his mother wouldn’t dare let him date a freak like you.”

  “Cricket, please go inside,” Erin said. “I’ll be right there.”

  Cricket took a few steps and lowered her voice. “You have one minute to get back inside. You embarrass me again, and I’ll make sure you’re trashed so bad no one will speak to you until college.”

  Erin swallowed loudly, as if she was choking.

  Steely stared silently at her.

  Cricket went back in and slammed the door.

  Lightning flashed above them. Steely wished rain was streaking down her face. But it wasn’t.

  Erin was now visibly uncomfortable and slowly moving toward the house. “Now, let’s be mature about this.” Erin fidgeted, attempting to give an anemic explanation.
“Give me a break here. I’ve worked hard to get Cricket to accept me.”

  “Cricket’s the social mafia! Why do you need her to accept you?”

  “She’s who you need to know if you want to be popular.”

  “Is that what you want, Erin? To be popular with people who control you with threats?”

  “You always take things the wrong way—you’re just too sensitive,” she whispered. “I’ll still hang out with you. Just don’t be selfish and mess up this opportunity for me.”

  “I’m not going to mess up anything. I think you have more in common with Cricket than I realized.”

  “Good. I feel better now that we understand each other.”

  “Perfectly.” Steely blotted her face with her sleeve. She could have entered any emergency room, and they would have assumed she had been physically beaten.

  “Now that everything’s OK, I’ll open your present.” Erin dug around the tissue paper and lifted out the candle. She didn’t jump up and down with excitement. She inspected it.

  Is it broken? What’s she looking for?

  Erin threw a hip to one side. Cradling the candle in one hand, like a softball, she said, “You gave me a regift?”

  “A regift!” Steely was boisterous enough to send the partiers back to the window.

  “Shh!” Erin waved, trying to let them know everything was fine, even though it clearly was not.

  A light drizzle sent Erin running to take cover under an awning.

  Steely ran off.

  Erin slung another verbal punch. “Steely, you can wait in my garage till the rain stops!”

  Steely wished she hadn’t heard her. She didn’t care about the rain, and she didn’t care about the risk of being electrocuted from the lightning now shooting around her. She would have rather run through a hurricane with rain pelting her body like bullets than hear another word from Erin.

  She ran two long blocks before dashing into a pizza joint. The restaurant had a small game room on one side and dining tables on the other. The restroom was beside the ordering station in the middle. Her hair was matted. Her makeup had washed down to places where it wasn’t originally placed. Rain speckled her knit top, leaving it more wet than dry.