Never Say Goodbye

by Angie Merriam

  “Dad, are you going to stay here with Mom and me?” He asked innocently.

  “That’s my plan if your mom will have me,” I replied honestly.

  “Oh, she’ll have you, Dad. We are going to be a family aren’t we?”

  “Yes, I think we are at least I want that very badly.”

  “Me too.”

  “Goodnight, son,” I said and kissed his head.

  “Night, Dad. Can you turn on my nightlight?” He asked pointing to the small lamp on his dresser.

  “Sure. See you in the morning.”

  “Dad, one more thing?”

  “What’s that, son?”

  “Thank you for coming here and being as cool as I imagined you would be.” His words caught me by surprise. I smiled at him, forcing tears back. “Thank you for sending your mom for me and for being the coolest kid I’ve ever met. I love you, Aaron. Goodnight.”

  “Love you too, Dad. Goodnight.”

  I turned out the light and went to find Chinda. She was sitting alone in the living room. “How’d it go?” She asked.

  “Great. He’s something else isn’t he? I can’t believe I’m the father of such an extraordinary kid. I’m so happy to be here with him and with you.”

  “I’m happy you’re here too.” She scooted over giving me room to sit beside her. She turned and put her feet in my lap, and I began rubbing them subconsciously.

  “Where’s Frankie?”

  “She went into town. She has a hotel room there. Said we needed time alone but to tell you goodbye. She’s heading home in the morning but will be back to visit soon.”

  “So, it’s just you and me? We’re alone?” I asked, the desire I’d worked hard at controlling was creeping in, refusing to be suppressed.

  “Yep, looks that way.”

  “You haven’t showed me your bedroom,” I said with a wink. She giggled and that sound made my blood stir and my dick hard.

  “Well, that’s rude of me.”

  “Yes, very rude of you,” I replied before leaning over to kiss her. I meant for it to be a small peck, but once I tasted her, I couldn’t stop. She tasted of Cherry Coke, and her lips were so damned soft. I was on top of her; her legs spread open for me to lie between. Her arms wound around my neck while my hands played with the hem of her shirt. My pants were getting uncomfortably tight as we made out like teenagers.

  “Take me to bed, Elijah,” she said breathlessly when we came up for air.

  “Gladly,” I said before lifting off her then scooping her up and into my arms. Thankfully, Aaron had given me the tour, and I found my way easily to her bedroom. Her arms wove tightly around my neck, her hands clasped together, and her head rested on my chest. Holding her in my arms like that was heaven. I was cradling my angel. I gently kicked the door closed behind me and the moment it closed she lifted her head off my chest, and her lips found mine.

  I continued moving slowly towards the bed as I drank in the taste of her mouth, my legs growing weak. I hadn’t made love to her since the night Charlie died. Our time in New Orleans was filled with Holly and even after letting her go, I didn’t have it in me to make love to Chinda. I wanted to, but my heart ached, needing that time to mourn my best friend. We never approached the subject of sex. Chinda never pushed. I was grateful then. Now, I wanted her so badly it hurt.

  I broke our kiss as I laid her softly on the bed. She scooted up towards the top while I stood there, watching her. She sat up and began removing her clothing, one piece at a time. The room was only lit by the moon shining through her window, but it was enough. The sight of her still made me weak in the knees after all this time.

  She removed the last piece of cloth covering her body before laying back. “Come here, Elijah. Make love to me,” she whispered. I removed my own clothing, much quicker than she did, tossing each article to the side without much thought. Once I was free of any barrier that might hinder my skin touching hers, I crawled onto her bed and carefully laid on top of her. Her legs wrapped around my waist, her arms around my back. I leaned down to find her mouth and took it in my own, hungry for her.

  Her hips were slowly grinding into mine and I could feel the wetness waiting for me against my lower abdomen. My own cock was stretched and rock hard, begging to feel the warmth of her body. Our mouths came apart, both of us needing to catch our breath. “I don’t know how slow I can take this, baby.” My voice was low, husky from needing her.

  “I don’t want you slowly, Elijah, I need you now. I’ve needed you for so long, since our first time after prom I’ve needed you, I just didn’t know it. The time in Vegas and at my house, I was apprehensive still. I’m not anymore. We have time to take it slow later, but right now I want to feel you inside me. My body aches for you. Show me you feel that same hunger.”

  My entire body was tense. Every muscle wound tight to the point of nearly exploding. I kissed her again as I slowly found my way into her warm core. The feeling of her under me, around me was intense like finding your way through a blizzard just to catch a glimpse of a sun’s ray. I allowed my body to take over, without thinking, I couldn’t think. I moved inside her quickly, feeling every inch of her clenched around my dick.

  She moaned quietly as her nails dug into my skin. The pain was sweet, and her muffled cries of ecstasy caused my body to tremble and explode inside her. I watched her face as I continued to move slowly inside her, emptying everything that was left in me. Her eyes closed as her body began to quake. She was so beautiful.

  “Open your eyes, baby,” I whispered. Though my own release left me somewhat limp, I stayed there, moving slowly. When her eyes opened and met mine, I felt her cum around me and both of our bodies stilled.

  “You’re fucking breathtaking, you know that? It’s like you’ve stolen all of my air and the only way I can survive is to share yours. To be close to you. Inside you. Touching you. I need you so much it hurts. You have no idea how it feels to have you beneath me, your naked skin on mine.” My voice is low and husky from our lovemaking. Her eyes look at me, deep pools of need that I am drowning in. I am lost in her and never want to be found.

  My body can no longer hold my weight. I ease slowly out and off of her. I lay beside her, pulling her into me. She snuggles in as close as she can, small sounds of pleasure escaping her lips, like a purring cat when they’ve found their comfort zone. I inhale deeply, smelling the sweet smell of her shampoo mixed with the musky scent of sex. It’s intoxicating, and I let out a moan of my own.

  “I’m really sorry about disappearing in Florida,” she says so quietly I almost didn’t hear her. Her hand grips the arm I have wrapped around her as though she’s afraid I’m going to leave her. Doesn’t she know I’m never leaving her again, I wonder.

  “It’s okay, baby. I think maybe we needed to find ourselves before we could find our way back to each other.” I admit to her because though I was devastated when she left, I needed to get my shit together before I could be the man I wanted to be for Aaron and her. I didn’t know that at the time. I learned that from Holly.

  “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I have to admit though, it kind of hurts that you spent that time with another woman. I know you weren’t mine, and I left so I shouldn’t be jealous, but I am. I also know you were friends and I get that, I’m just angry with myself for losing that time with you. Having my memory back and feeling those feelings I felt for you and still feel for you, the only thing I accomplished was torturing myself. After Charlie, I didn’t think I deserved to be happy with you. I still wonder if I do.”

  “Turn over and look at me, please.” She does. My arms stay wrapped around her and our legs are tangled up. She looks straight into my eyes and I see that she’s crying. “I’m so sorry, Elijah, for everything. For leaving you, not just this time but last time too. I’m sorry my parents took me away from you and it took me so long to find you. To find me. I lived in a fog for so long, knowing something wasn’t right but being too afraid to look too hard. Maybe if I had looked harder I would have
found you sooner. I missed you without even knowing you. Then I get you back and I leave you again. I wonder how you can still be here with me after all of that, and I’m worried you’re going to wake up and realize I’m not worth all this trouble.” She was openly sobbing now, her body shaking under my hold. I kiss each of her cheeks, tasting her tears. I hold her while her body is racked with sobs, leaving her unable to catch her breath enough to speak.

  “Shhh, listen to me. Please. Baby, I love you please listen to me.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says, finally calming enough to say those few words.

  “Stop apologizing. You don’t ever have to apologize to me. For anything. Okay?” She slightly shakes her head yes but doesn’t say anything.

  “When I lost you I was young and devastated. I didn’t know a person could feel that kind of pain. I lost myself in music then when Briston became a success I lost myself in sex, drugs and booze. I was a walking, talking, rock cliché. I was on a dangerous road and would have wound up dead eventually. Then you came along and changed all of that. The moment I saw you at that show, my entire world changed. I knew it was you before you got your memory back. I knew it was you the moment I laid eyes on you,” I paused to kiss her again.

  “When you left Vegas, I totally understood why. Shit, I was freaked out myself so I get it. I was just happy you were alive and more than willing to wait for you to come back to me because I’ve always known that’s how it should be. You and me, together. Florida though, yeah that one hurt because you had your memory and still left. I was hurt, pissed and cursed your name,” I admitted even though it made her cry harder. We had to be honest in order to move on. I knew that. She knew that.

  “Anyway, when I met Holly I was a shattered man. I didn’t give a fuck about anyone or anything. Now, though, looking back, I am glad you did what you did. See, I’d been a broken man for a really long time, Chinda, since prom night. My entire life revolved around losing you. I had to learn to live again without you even though it hurt like hell. If I hadn’t learned to do that I would have never been the man I wanted to be for you. The man I will be for you. Holly taught me to forgive and forget. She taught me to love without expectation. Most of all, she taught me how to be happy and content on my own and to view the beauty in the world not the ugliness I always focused on,” I stopped to take a breath because now I was the one being taken by sobs.

  “She helped me see that my love for you is pure and good and that it would never work if I held onto all of the ugliness that had been a part of me for so long. It was a necessary hurt, you leaving again. You found yourself too, and I thank God for that every day so don’t ever say you’re sorry. Everything happened for a reason and that reason is us. We are together again, you and me and I will never let you go.” I pulled her closer to me, both of us choking on tears. We held on to each other as though our lives depended on it.

  She pulled away slightly and looked at me. “I love you and I will never leave you again. I don’t know what else to say or how to prove it but I promise you I won’t run again.” She smiled at me through the tears, trying to reassure me of her words.

  “Marry me, Chinda,” I whispered to her and felt my heart melt when her eyes widened in surprise and her entire face, damp from tears, lit up in the moonlight.

  “What? Are you serious?”

  “Never been more serious about anything in my life. I love you. I plan to be with you forever. I want you to be my wife. I want us to be a family. So, what do you say? Will you be my wife?”

  “Yes! Oh my God, yes. I want nothing more than to be your wife and to be a family. Yes!” she squealed happily before pushing me onto my back and rolling on top of me. The tears we’d both cried moments before were gone now, with the past. We buried the past away and were moving on.

  “I love you, Elijah, and it’s my turn to prove it,” she said mischievously before she began her sexual assault on my body. We made love so many times that night and woke the next morning new people. Happy people ready to start the rest of their lives together.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Over the next few months I spent time getting to know Aaron and getting to know Chinda all over again. Aaron loves baseball so I spent hours practicing with him. He also loved music so I started teaching him how to play guitar. He was a quick study and was playing fluidly in no time. The three of us had settled into a nice routine. When Aaron went back to school, Chinda and I either explored the area or each other. Some days we’d lay in bed making love until noon. When Aaron came home from school we focused our time on him until we put him to bed, then it was back to our own exploration of each other. I was in heaven and never wanted to leave.

  We had a good two months of just being together, no responsibility, no outside world, no rich prick parents, no managers, no promoters, just us. It was time we all needed to learn about each other. To build a family. Fall was thick in the air, and the leaves were beginning to change. I knew our isolated time was temporary and coming to an end soon.

  Elsie called with dates for Christian and her to come visit. She’s wanted to come right after I first arrived but I asked her to wait. She’s waited long enough she told me and would be here in a week. As much as I didn’t want to give up my time with Chinda and Aaron, I missed my sister. I can’t remember a time ever going this long without seeing her.

  Aaron was at school and Chinda and I were watching the rain while drinking our coffee. “I just talked to Elsie. She and Christian will be out next Friday.” She smiled up at me. “I can’t wait to see her again.”

  “Me too. I’ve never gone this long without seeing my sister. I miss her.”

  “I know you do. Did she know when you’re expected to finish the tour?” she asked carefully. We’d talked about this a few times and I knew she wasn’t excited for me to leave but I was obligated to finish the tour. Regardless of my record contract, I couldn’t let my fans down. I’d made the decision to finish the tour with or without the other guys, though I hoped like hell they would come back to Briston.

  “No, but with her pregnancy it won’t be until after the baby comes. I think we have a good six months. It’s only a few shows so I’m thinking maybe during Aaron’s spring break. Then we can all go.” Her face lit up when I suggested that.

  “That would be awesome!”

  “I told you, babe, I’m not ever leaving you again. Where I go you go and vice versa. Besides, I’ve been working on some new songs during my lessons with Aaron. I was hoping, if the band agrees, to record a new album over the winter. We can do it in my studio at my house and the band can stay there. I haven’t seen the guys in a while. I hope they’re all still in.”

  “Have you talked to any of them?” She asked with genuine curiosity.

  “No, only Christian when I talk to Elsie and we haven’t talked about the other guys. I think the break has been good though. We all needed it. I just hope we can get it back together. I’d hate to find new members. We’ve been together since the beginning.”

  “You should call them, Elijah. How are you ever going to know if you don’t talk to them?”

  “I know. I’m just nervous I guess. I’ll wait until Elsie gets here. Maybe she knows what’s been going on with the rest of the guys. Hey, why don’t we go have breakfast at the little café in town?”

  “Sure, let me get dressed,” she replied. She stood up from the table, her silk robe falling off her shoulders. When she bent to kiss me, I caught a glimpse of her nipple poking out, begging to be touched. Before she could pull away I had one hand cupping her ass, one arm around her waist holding her close to me, and my face buried in her chest. I moved the thin fabric away from her tits with my teeth allowing my mouth to find that taunting nipple. I covered the light brown area with my mouth, sucking and gently biting while my hand squeezed her ass. She let out a low moan as I feasted on her breasts.

  “Elijah, we’ll never make it to breakfast if you keep that up,” she said breathlessly.