Laurie's Time (The Fairfield Series)

by Maryann Jordan

  Brock looked around the room, realizing that he was in the presence of people that loved Laurie and was awed that there was so much support. “I have to say, I have no intentions of going anywhere,” he said to the group. “I will fit my life into whatever place Laurie wants to give me.” He got up and walked over to Rob, whose head was resting in his hands. “And son, while you may have messed up on the secret keeping, what you did for my daughter, well… you have my eternal thanks.” At this Rob stood up, weary himself, and embraced Brock.

  Laurie, with her ear pressed up against the door, couldn’t hear a sound. What are they doing now? Suddenly bone-tired once again from the emotion of the day, she turned and crawled back into bed. Sleep overtook her as she dreamed fitfully.

  *

  Brock looked over at Jean, feeling a desire to stay in her presence for a while. She was not only beautiful, but she knew how to read people, read situations, calm anger, soothe wounded souls. She looked up at him as well, a smile playing on her lips.

  The friends all left, leaving just Brock and Rob with Jean. Having checked on Laurie, only to find her still sleeping, Rob rejoined the others in the kitchen.

  “Jean, how do I make this right? I can’t…I can’t lose her.” Rob’s chest was hurting, and he rubbed it with his hand.

  Jean watched the mannerism with a slight smile on her face. Eyes back up to Rob’s, she observed, “Laurie does that too.” Seeing his quizzical look, she explained, “When she speaks of you, she rubs her heart. It pains her to be away from you.”

  He grunted. “More ‘n likely, it pains her to think of me. Jesus, things are so fucked up.” Rob, in unchartered territory, realized he had no idea how to make things right. Ever since he saw Laurie in the grocery store his world had been turned upside down. He wanted her. He wanted only her. He needed only her. He loved only her.

  Sitting on the kitchen stool with his head in his hands, he felt Jean touch his shoulder.

  “Rob, she loves you. That love will prevail. But allow her to go at her pace through this.”

  Nodding, he hugged Jean and shook Brock’s hand, then headed out to his truck. Back to their home. Alone.

  *

  The trip to the rheumatologist several days later seemed almost anticlimactic after all of the drama from the previous days. Filling out the family history for the first time in her life, she did not have to list ‘do not know’ on the paternal medical section. How strange to actually put down my father’s information. Brock had given Jean a list of family members and their health histories for Laurie to use.

  She and Dr. Lawrence talked for a long time. He explained that there is no one test for lupus, but that all the indicators that they look for were present in her case, so he was comfortable with the diagnosis. Determined not to fall apart, she mentioned that she just learned that she had an aunt that had died from lupus many years ago. He explained that medications were being created and new discoveries were being found every day, and he was certain that they could find the right combination for her symptoms.

  Dr. Lawrence answered her questions, went over the medications that she would be starting, and assured her that just because her aunt had died from complications from lupus there was no reason to expect Laurie not to live a full life.

  Leaving the office, Laurie called Emma who was anxiously awaiting news of her visit. Filling her in first on the doctor’s news, Laurie then began to talk about the rest of her life.

  “Yeah, I’m still staying with Jean.”

  Emma, understanding Laurie’s anger, also knew that her niece was heartbroken without Rob. “Sweetie, I know you’re still mad as hell at Rob, but I want you to think carefully about what you are doing. Every relationship has its bumpy times. Are you willing to just walk away from him without at least trying to work things out?”

  “I know. I’m just scared. What if he keeps other secrets? What if he starts lying to me? What if –”

  Emma interrupted, “Laurie, you can ‘what if’ yourself until you go crazy with it. If you love him, you owe him the opportunity to explain why he did what he did.”

  “I know the why of it all. He wanted me to have a family history because he was scared about this disease.”

  Letting the silence float through the airwaves, Emma said nothing, waiting for Laurie to understand the meaning behind the words she had just spoken.

  Sighing, Laurie admitted, “He loves me.”

  “Sweetie, love makes us do some crazy things, but it will especially make us do anything and everything we can to protect those we love. So…what are you going to do?”

  Standing taller, head thrown back, Laurie announced, “I’m going to go talk to him. We need to work through this, because not having him in my life is killing me.”

  Laughing, Emma agreed.

  Tossing her cell phone back into her purse, Laurie walked over to her car. Looking down, lost in thought, she did not see Brock until she was standing at his truck parked next to her bug. She looked up, surprised and yet glad to see him. Her gaze roamed his face, which was already becoming familiar. The crinkles next to his storm-colored eyes, the greying hair at his temples, the lean strength of his frame. He pushed off of his truck and walked the few feet over to her.

  “Brock. What are you doing here?”

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Jerking his head toward the medical building, he asked, “How’d it go today?”

  Laurie looked up into her father’s grey eyes, the same eyes that stared back at her each day in the mirror. Giving him a tentative smile she said, “It went…well. I gave him all of your information and he was very positive about things. I start some new medications this week, so we’ll see how it goes.”

  The tentative smile on her face reached in and touched a part of Brock he never knew existed. Throwing caution to the wind, he stepped closer, looking down at his daughter’s beautiful face and continued.

  “Laurie, I don’t know what place I have in your life. I don’t know if you want me to have a place.” Looking down at his rough worn hands clutched tightly, he sighed. “I guess it sounds like I don’t know much.”

  Tears welled in his eyes as he swallowed hard a few times to choke them back. Shaking his head as though to pull his thoughts from the past back to the future, he brushed a tear away and looked down at the face that reminded him so much of Sarah.

  “No, that’s not right. I do know somethin’. I know I fell in love in one night with a beautiful girl that made me feel things I didn’t know I could feel. I know I wanted to be with her and for twenty-five years I thought she was completely lost to me. I can’t go back. I can’t change what happened. Too many past mistakes in life for us to make ourselves crazy over. But I now know she isn’t totally lost to me. She lives on in you. I may have missed the first twenty-five years of your life, but I sure as hell don’t want to miss any more.”

  “So unless you tell me to leave, I ain’t goin’ anywhere, Laurie. I just hope you want to let me in at least part of your life,” he said. Lips curling up in a small smile, he added, “I ain’t too proud to beg.”

  Reaching over to capture his work-worn hand in her much smaller one, Laurie smiled up at him. Tears spilling over, heart aching with a need that she never knew existed, Laurie spoke a word that had never crossed her lips. “Dad.”

  His grey eyes looked into hers and his brow furrowed in question.

  “I have a dad. I knew that somewhere I had a father. I convinced myself that I didn’t need a father. I had Mom, Grandma and Grandpa, and Emma. A father simply wasn’t needed or missed. But now I have a dad. And I don’t want to lose him.”

  Brock wrapped his hand around hers, holding it so tightly she could feel it right to her heart. Tears, falling freely and unashamedly, now coursed down his cheeks. “Well, all right then. You’ve got your dad. And I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

  “And Laurie?” Jerking his head over to the other side of his truck, where she noticed Rob standing, her dad said, “You need
to go put that boy outta his misery.”

  Chapter 20

  Grey eyes latched onto blue ones. Heart pounding, Laurie glanced back into Brock’s face, seeing him smile and nod. Kissing her cheek, he climbed up into his old truck, backing out of the parking lot leaving Rob and Laurie alone. She looked over at him, her heart pounding with both fear and love. Fear of what was going to happen to them and love for the man who risked everything to keep her safe.

  He looked…ragged. His hair seemed as though he had run his hand through it continually. There were dark circles under his haunted eyes. Eyes that were staring back at her.

  “Hey,” she greeted softly.

  “Hey back.” Uncharacteristically anxious, Rob’s eyes searched hers for some idea of what she was thinking. Wanting to pull her into his embrace, he faltered, not knowing what she would allow.

  Looking around, she did not see his truck. Turning her questioning gaze back to his face, she asked, “Did you come with Brock?”

  Sheepish, he admitted, “Yeah, I was hopin’ you’d take pity on a poor boy and give him a ride.”

  Arching one eyebrow, “Oh you did, did you?”

  All semblance of joking gone, he stepped forward tentatively. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay, babe.”

  Taking a deep breath, she looked over his shoulder at the mountains in the background, momentary silence filling the air. Eyes moving back to his, she replied, “I’m fine. The doctor visit went really well, and I have some meds that he’s putting me on. I’ve got some more information and have a better understanding of what I am facing.”

  Nodding, he moved forward one more step closer. “I’d like to hear what all he said. Any chance we could go somewhere to talk?”

  She leaned her head back as he advanced, keeping her eyes on his. Pulling her lips in, she nodded slowly, before agreeing. “I think that’d be a good thing.”

  He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, feeling for the first time since he began the quest for her father that he might have a chance to repair the damage to their trust. “That’s great, babe. Where do you wanna go?”

  Looking around in thought, she mused aloud. “Someplace private. Someplace quiet.” As though a sudden thought came to her, she looked up and quickly said, “Your place. But only to talk. And I’m not staying.”

  “Laurie, babe, I’ll take whatever I can get.”

  As he was opening her passenger door to assist her into the bug, she looked over her shoulder. “You’re driving my yellow bug?” she asked incredulously.

  Smiling back into those gorgeous grey eyes, “Darlin’, I would drive you through the middle of town in this crazy-ass yellow bug just to have a chance to be with you again.”

  *

  Settling onto the sofa, Laurie looked around. Was it only a week ago that this was her home too?

  Rob, nervous, sat on the other end of the sofa as though afraid to crowd her. “Babe, I just gotta start out by sayin’ you’ve got no idea how sorry I am I kept all that shit from you. I wanted to help, but was a wuss by not mannin’ up from the beginning.”

  Looking over at this man that she loved more than life, she wanted to forgive him but needed answers if trust was to be rebuilt.

  “I appreciate that, I really do. I just need more. I need to know what was going through your head knowing how all this was going to play out.”

  Rubbing his hand over his face, he nodded. Taking a few deep breaths, gathering his thoughts, he found his eyes searching hers again. Seeing her innocent questioning gaze, he understood that she wasn’t fighting him. She wanted to know his thoughts, his reasons, his motives, his actions. I can give her that. She deserves my honesty, not my charm. She deserves that…and much more.

  Twisting his body so that he was facing her, he began. “Honest to god, I never thought about your dad until you got sick. Then I was just worried all the time. What was wrong? What did you need? What could I do for you?” Looking embarrassed, he admitted, “I’ve never worried about any girl. Sex was just a physical way to get off, and a pretty girl was just arm candy for the night.” Shaking his head as he looked down, he resisted the urge to look into her eyes, knowing he would see repulsion.

  A small, pale hand slid across the distance, placing itself on his much larger tanned one. That innocent act gave him the courage to continue. Looking up, her eyes speared his with a look of…understanding, not rejection. Grasping her hand as a drowning man holds a life preserver, with the encouragement to continue, he said, “I never meant to lie to you or keep a secret. I simply thought that if I told you I was lookin’ for him and didn’t find him, it might disappoint you. And I just couldn’t stand the thought of you being hurt.”

  “Once I located the person who may have been your father, I had to go see for myself or risk more hurt to you again. No lie, babe – I just did not want you hurt.”

  Watching his face carefully, she knew he was telling the truth. Emma’s words flew through her mind. Love makes us do some crazy things. But it will especially make us do anything and everything we can to protect those we love.

  Linking her fingers through his, she squeezed his hand tightly. I love him. He loves me. Everything else can be figured out.

  “Laurie, babe, am I forgiven? I will never keep anything from you again as long as we live. From now on, we work everything out together.”

  Smiling softly, she replied, “Yes, you’re forgiven.”

  Rob, looking down at their linked hands, felt the heavy weight sitting on his heart lift. Keeping his fingers tightly entwined with hers, he asked, “Babe, what all did the doctor say.”

  Her gazed dropped to her lap then swept out across the room in an evasive move, not wanting to have this conversation now.

  Tightening his grip, rubbing his fingers along her hand, he probed, “No secrets, Laurie. We tell the truth to each other, right?”

  Grey eyes snapped back to his blue ones. Nodding slowly, she agreed. “I brought some literature home on lupus. I will start some medications tomorrow and have to have monthly blood work.” At this, her nose wrinkled in distaste.

  He smiled, remembering her trip to the lab. “I’ll go with you every time, babe.” He noticed she did not smile. “What else did he say?”

  “The medications will make me very susceptible to infections, so I have to be very careful to try not to get sick.” Shaking her head ruefully, “I have no idea how I can do that while working with six-year olds.” Sighing deeply, she continued, “Some days will be better than others. Some days I may not even notice anything; other days I may feel awful.”

  Rob, feeling that she was holding back, kept prompting. “What else, Laurie? What is it that you think I do not want to hear?”

  A tear slid unchecked down her cheek. “I may have difficulty getting pregnant. If I do get pregnant, I may have trouble carrying to full term.” Afraid to look into his eyes and see the disappointment, she kept her gaze on their still linked hands.

  Lifting her chin with his free hand, he forced her to look at him. “Babe, I am in love with you. I want a future with you. If that includes children, then fine. If not, that’s fine too. I just want you, babe.”

  Leaning across the short distance separating them, he gently touched his lips to hers. This kiss was not about sex, not about passion, not about desire. No, this kiss was filled with promise, forgiveness, hope, and love.

  As his lips moved over hers, Laurie knew this was the greatest kiss of all.

  *

  Rob was working long shifts for the rest of the week, so they decided to wait until the weekend to move Laurie back to his apartment. Not wanting her to be alone and Jean gave so much emotional support to her, they thought it would be best.

  The medication was working so well that Laurie found herself feeling better than she had in months. More energetic, she would play with the children on the playground at recess. One day she had been assisting with the students playing on the monkey bars when one of the children shouted for her. �
�Miss Dodd, Miss, Dodd!” Turning to see what they were shouting about, she saw the minivan with darkened windows stopped along the fence of the playground. And playing near the fence was Cindy.

  Heart pounding with fear, feet flying faster than she had run in months, she ran screaming for Cindy. Cindy looked over at her in confusion, and Laurie saw the van pull away quickly. Winded by the time she reached Cindy, she could barely speak but grabbed Cindy in a hug. Finally catching her breath, she walked her back over to the other children.

  “Cindy, I need you to stay away from the fence during recess. There has been a van driving around that makes me nervous, and I want all my students safe, okay?”

  Cindy agreed and ran off to play with the others. Clutching her chest as Jean came out with the principal to check on her, she reported what she saw. “My fear is that when the kids are all over the playground, I can’t watch them all at the same time.” The principal and Jean agreed on the risk and decided that when her students were outside, Jean would join them.

  Heading back inside, Jean asked if she could talk to Laurie after school for a few minutes. Surprised that she even needed to ask, she readily agreed. That afternoon, Jean was uncharacteristically nervous.

  “Jean, you always speak plainly and cut to the chase. What is going on?”

  Looking down for a moment, Jean raised her bright blue eyes to Laurie’s and said bluntly, “Brock asked me to dinner and I said yes. I would really like to get to know him, but you’re my friend, and I don’t want any….awkwardness between us.”

  Laurie jumped up and pulled Jean into a hug, wrapping her arms around her friend. “Oh, Jean, I am so happy for you! I don’t mind at all. In fact, I think it’s a really good idea! I think you two would be perfect together.”

  “It’s just dinner, my dear, not an engagement!” Jean retorted.