Change of Heart 2

by Scarlett Edwards

  “Thank you, Penny.” Min rubs at her eyes. “I know Rich means well. But the way he brought it up just made me remember everything I went through losing Grace. Rich doesn’t even know the truth. Joey disappeared because his father sent him to military school the minute he found out about me. We were both seventeen. That’s why I didn’t hear from him. I hated him, too, while I went through all that hell. But it wasn’t Joey’s fault. His father stopped all his attempts to communicate with me. Joey didn’t even know about the stillbirth. When he found me years later, he was expecting a little kid—” Min bites back more tears, “—a girl or a boy, who looked just like him. When I told him what happened, he looked like his soul had been ripped out and torn in two.”

  “Min, I’m so, so sorry.” I smooth her hair. “Your brother is a brute. I love him, but he’s just a great, big brute. Of course he’d overreact like this. He loves you, but he has his own way of showing it. He thinks you still need protection from the big bad world. He treats me the same way sometimes. I’m trying to get him to see things straight.”

  “He’s lucky to have you,” Min says with a little smile. “And I’m sorry for all…” she gestures at herself, “…all this. It’s just, losing Grace when I was so young made me grow up very fast. I thought I’d buried all the pain deep down. Today, it came back with a vengeance. You know,” she admits, “for the longest time, whenever I’d look in the mirror, I’d see a weak, pathetic woman.” She laughs delicately. “What kind of mother can’t even care for her own child? I was going down a dangerous path of self-loathing and depression. And you know who fixed it? Joey. When he came back, he helped me become the woman he’d fallen in love with again.

  “That’s why it hurt so much to leave him. He means everything to me. If it weren’t for him, I’d probably be on my way to an early grave with a drug addiction or something. He rescued me. He’s my angel. But tonight, the way Rich talked about him… I just felt like I was that wretched, broken woman all over again.”

  “You’re not,” I tell her firmly. “You are the strongest person I know. I thought so before you told me about Grace. Now, you’re just… just unbelievable,” I finish.

  “Thank you, Penny,” Min whispers. She hugs me. “You don’t know how much that means. I really do feel like you’re my sister now. Nobody except Joey knows what I’ve told you. Thank you for listening, and thank you for being such a good friend.”

  “Come on,” I take her hand. “Let’s get you cleaned up, and let’s go face your brother.”

  ***

  I leave the restroom arm-in-arm with Min. I have a newfound respect for her. The whole time I’ve known her, she’s always been so upbeat and happy. Now, knowing the nightmarish past she’s overcome, her cheerful attitude is absolutely awe-inspiring.

  Rich is waiting at the table. His body language defines his mood. He’s slumped back with one arm over his chair, his legs crossed, and his eyes dark. I’m angry at him for the way he treated his sister.

  He barely acknowledges us when we return. I give him a “we’re-going-to-talk-later” look. I’m not sure he gets it.

  Min retrieves her jacket, avoiding her brother’s eye the whole time.

  “We’re leaving,” I announce. None of us has any desire to remain here any longer.

  “Fine,” Rich says gruffly, standing up and shooting a glare at Min.

  “Don’t you have something to say to her?” I prompt, fishing for an apology. I know it won’t correct everything, but it will be a start.

  “I said everything I wanted to,” he tells me.

  Min snorts without looking up. I’m on her side. Rich is acting like a jerk.

  Noticing everybody standing, our waiter comes over to start thanking us for the visit. After one look, however, he notices our disposition and wisely retreats.

  We leave the restaurant together, but separate. I walk with Min. It feels like a glass wall has been erected between us and Rich. Any bystander, seeing our group, would rightfully say we look like strangers.

  As we walk into the cool night, I think I catch a familiar face when we near the parking lot. I look over. But, there’s nobody there. I suppress a shiver. For half a second, I thought I saw Amanda.

  The valet brings our car to the front of the underground lot. Rich tips him and takes the keys. Min shuffles into the back. After a moment’s hesitation, I climb in after her. She moves to the other seat to make room.

  Rich frowns in the mirror at me. “Why aren’t you in the front?”

  “Because I don’t want to sit with you after the way you acted tonight,” I tell him straight-out.

  He grunts. “Fine. Suit yourself.”

  “I will.”

  He gives a fake smile through the mirror and starts the car. The tension surrounding us is thick. It reminds me of driving with Rich in his truck, back in Oregon, before I knew what the hell was going on.

  A deafening silence shrouds the interior of the car as Rich maneuvers to the street exit. He pulls up and turns the blinker on. The pestering tick-tick-tick of the right turn signal is the only sound to break the silence.

  As Rich is waiting for a gap in traffic, another car pulls up behind us. Rich taps the steering wheel in irritation. Traffic is heavy and nobody is letting us through.

  The car behind us starts flashing its high beams on and off. Rich inches forward. Still no gap. The lights continue to flash. Rich grips the steering wheel harder and growls. I look over my shoulder at the aggressor in the other vehicle. I can’t see anything against the bright glare of the other car’s headlights.

  One of the cars on the street slows down, as if to let us through. It’s a miniscule space. The driver of the car behind us sees it and lays on the horn.

  “Fucking asshole,” Rich mutters under his breath. The pressure gets to him, though, and he steps on the gas to turn onto the street.

  Tires screech behind us at the same moment.

  Time slows for me.

  I turn my head to the right by instinct. I see past Min, through the window. I see the bright lights of the car that had been behind us quickly approaching. The scream that forms in my throat has no time to escape.

  I hear a sickening crunch and feel the heavy impact of the other car. My head whips back and cracks against the window.

  A heavy black curtain falls over my eyes.

  ***

  Sounds are the first thing to penetrate my consciousness. They morph together into one incoherent mass. I strain my ears to pick out something distinctive. But, it’s incredibly hard.

  Darkness dominates. It threatens to take over as I teeter on the edge of wakefulness. It wants to pull me into the abyss.

  Somehow, I know there will be no awakening if I let it win.

  The realization spurs my efforts to gain control over my body. With a great heave, I force my eyelids open.

  An unfamiliar male face hovers above mine. “She’s awake!” the stranger screams behind him. Cold air rushes past my cheeks as I’m being lifted. Red, blue, and white lights flash all around me. I hear sirens in the distance, and wonder: Are they coming for us?

  I’m being laid onto a flat, horizontal surface. After a few seconds, my head gets propped up. Something about the repositioning reminds me to focus. I put all my efforts into actually seeing what my eyes are showing me.

  I see the chaos before me for the first time. The car we were all in—Rich’s rental car—is a mass of twisted metal. It lies flipped over. The windows are shattered. The frame is crushed in two places: at the rear fender, and at the right side passenger door—right where Min was sitting.

  Oh my God. Min. Rich!

  I jerk upright. A wave of dizziness threatens. Two firm yet gentle hands take hold of my shoulders and ease me down.

  A different male face comes into view. “Look at me,” he says. He shines something bright into my eyes. I close them to stop the shooting pain that rockets through my temples.

  “Easy now,” the stranger says. “Just breathe. Slow and
steady. I won’t do that again.”

  The deep breaths I take help calm me. Eventually, the pain in my head fades. I open my eyes to find two people looking down at me. The newcomer is a uniformed female police officer.

  “Miss, you’ve been in an accident,” she informs me. My brain barely registers her words. It feels too surreal. “You’re being taken to the hospital. Is there anybody we can call to meet you there?”

  “Rich…” I manage. My voice sounds desperate to my own ears. “Min…”

  The two people above me exchange a glance. “The man and woman you were with are both alive,” the officer says. “They’re being taken to the hospital as well.”

  I exhale in relief. Alive. That had been my greatest fear.

  “What’s your name, Miss?”

  “P-Penelope,” I croak. Even my own voice makes my head pound.

  “Penelope. You’re going to be just fine. You sustained some minor bodily injuries…”

  “My head,” I struggle. “Why does my head hurt so much?”

  “…as well as head trauma resulting in a concussion.” I register the words, and understand their meaning, but thinking past that is… fuzzy. My body feels battered and bruised, but nothing is intolerable. I’m most concerned about my head.

  I close my eyes for just a moment. The darkness that comes feels so very comforting.

  “Stay with us!” the man commands. I hear him. But, I also hear the darkness calling me. I try to open my eyes. The effort is too great.

  Why struggle? The black beckons me. I know I’ll be safe there. Safe, and away from bright lights, loud noise, and pain.

  I surrender to it and let the world fade away.

  Chapter Twelve

  I blink and open my eyes.

  Silence surrounds me. The headache is gone. I’m in a room with a white ceiling. I move my arms and legs. Everything seems to work.

  I take a deep breath—and almost cry out from the pain that shoots through my side. I start coughing, unable to contain it. Each time I cough, the pain intensifies. It gets so bad so fast that tears stream from my eyes.

  “Hey!” A warm hand covers mine. I look to the source of the voice and find Rich smiling at me. The coughing fit subsides as soon as I see his face. “Hey, you’re up.”

  Rich looks so earnest, so concerned. I feel weak. But, seeing Rich there energizes me. I start to push myself up, and then notice a tube connected to my arm. What the hell? I frown down at it, then notice the light, polka-dot gown I’m wearing. What happened to my clothes?

  “Hey, hey, easy there,” Rich cautions. His grip tightens on my hand. “Don’t move. The doctor’s going to be here soon.”

  “Doctor?” I start to say, confused—and then everything comes rushing back: The fight in the restaurant. The car honking behind us. The violent collision. Blacking out, and coming to with all the sirens and lights…

  “You’re all right!” I exclaim. I try again to get up and hug him. But he holds me down with a hand on my shoulder.

  “Yeah, I am,” Rich says. “At least, I’m in better shape than you are.” I notice his kind smile. “You were out for a couple of hours. The nurses have been keeping an eye on you.” He motions at the machines around the bed. “They said everything looked good. They told me you’d wake soon. But, as I waited…” Rich’s voice cracks and he looks away for a second. When he turns back, the most relieved smile I’ve ever seen brightens his face. His stunning, grey-green eyes shine as he speaks. “I never gave up on you, Penny. I knew you’d come back.” He laughs and strokes my hand. “You said you’d never let me leave you. Remember? Well, I wasn’t going to let you leave me, either.”

  “Rich…” I smile at him. Why does he sound so emotional? I remember what the paramedic told me: minor body injuries and a concussion. Nothing life-threatening. “I’m fine. You’re right. I wouldn’t let you get away that easily. What’s up with this?” I lift my free hand to him. “Why am I hooked up to an IV?”

  “They’re pumping pain killers into you,” he explains. “You have two cracked ribs. Without the drugs, each breath you take would be agony.”

  I take my hand away from his to feel under my armpit. My fingers brush against a hard cast. The pain that shot through my body originated from that spot. And Rich is probably right about the drugs: I do feel kind of… float-y.

  He chuckles at my exploration of my own body. “Yeah, right there. They say you’ll be able to stand and walk as soon as tomorrow. Unfortunately for both of us, no strenuous activities for a few weeks.”

  I smile. “Maybe I’ll be able to push through. What about you?”

  “Take a look,” Rich says, moving away from me. I blink in confusion when he doesn’t stand. Instead, his seat moves with him.

  Then it hits me. He’s in a wheelchair!

  “Oh my God, Rich!” Once more, I try to push myself up. The sharp pain from under my breast makes me fall back into the pillow. My mind whirls with the horrifying possibilities. Did he break his back? Is he paralyzed?

  “Whoa, whoa!” Rich soothes. “I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he says as soon as he picks up on my distress. “I told you, I’m not that bad.” He lifts his left leg up. I see his foot contained in a thick cast. “Just one small broken bone.” He shrugs his shoulders and cracks his neck. “As well as a bit of whiplash. I got away pretty much scot free. They want the bone to set, and tomorrow I’ll be able to put weight on it. I might even be able to walk without crutches.”

  “Thank God,” I exhale in relief. “When I saw you in the wheelchair, I thought…” I trail off, shaking my head. I can’t fathom giving voice to my fear.

  “Nah.” Rich wheels back to me and takes my hand again. “Sorry for the scare.”

  “It’s okay,” I say. “I’m not mad at you anymore, by the way. I know when we left the restaurant—” I cut off, suddenly remembering something. These damn pain killers must be making my thinking so slow! “Oh my God, Min. How’s Min?”

  Rich’s face falls. He turns away from me and doesn’t speak. A sinking feeling forms in my stomach again.

  “Rich?” I press. “Rich, what’s the matter? Is she okay?”

  Slowly, he shakes his head. “No. No, she’s not, and it’s my fucking fault.” I can hear the tears in his voice. “If I hadn’t gotten angry with her, if I hadn’t gotten into that stupid fight, everything would have been different.”

  “Is she… I mean, she’s not…” I can’t finish the sentence without choking up. Dead?

  “She’s alive,” Rich says. “Thank God for that. She’s still alive. And her condition’s stable, but her injuries…” He trails off, looking away.

  I force myself up, fighting through the screaming pain that fills me. I reach out and place a hand on Rich’s shoulder. He tilts his head toward it, then rubs his warm cheek over my fingers. “Tell me,” I ask him gently.

  Rich picks up my hand with both of his. He turns to face me. I can see the despair and overwhelming guilt reflected in his eyes. He does not say anything for a long time. He just looks at me, maybe even through me. I’ve never seen him so lost.

  “Whatever happened, it can’t be your fault,” I tell him. I know he needs me now. Even if I don’t have any strength left, I can fake it. For him. “Now, tell me about Min’s injuries.”

  “A concussion,” Rich begins. “Three broken ribs. One punctured lung. Two cracked vertebrae in her neck. A shattered hip bone. All three bones broken in her right arm. Some internal bleeding, but it’s subsided. Various cuts and lacerations, the worst of which goes across her stomach for a good six inches. They’ve got it stitched up.” He recites the list with absolutely no emotion in his voice. He sounds exactly the way he looks. Empty.

  I know it’s his way of coping. If he lets himself feel, the pain will be too much.

  “Where is she?” I ask him softly.

  “They’re still monitoring her in the ICU. They won’t let me near. I haven’t seen her yet.”

  “Oh, Rich…”
>
  “Don’t tell me it’s not my fault,” he barks. “Don’t, Penny!”

  “I wasn’t about to—”

  “Don’t you get it?” he continues over top of me. “I promised I’d take care of her. I failed. I…”

  He slams a fist against the arm rest. His tears are gone. Only stark anger remains. “I could not be the brother she needed. I chastised her for living her life, and then I failed her again. Time and time again, I fail her. I wasn’t there when she broke up with Joey. I wasn’t there when she gave birth. I wasn’t there when our father got thrown in jail. And this time, it’s the fucking worst. I’m the one who caused her injuries. If it wasn’t for me—”

  “Rich, that’s ridiculous!” I interrupt. “Being worried about her is one thing, but blaming yourself like this is entirely another. It’s nobody’s fault except the other driver’s!”

  “Oh, yeah?” Rich counters, his eyes blazing. “Think about it, Penny. If I hadn’t gotten mad in the restaurant, we wouldn’t have left early. The driver wouldn’t have been behind us. There’d be no accident!”

  “And, if I stayed with her longer in the restroom, we would have been delayed, too,” I rationalize. “I’m terrified for her, Rich. But, I’m not blaming myself for it! You can’t live with regret, always asking yourself, ‘What if?’”

  “No,” Rich says. “Everything about this is my fault. Do you know why Min is in the worst shape of all three of us? Because she sat in the spot of direct impact from the other car. It totaled the right-hand passenger door. Ask yourself: Would anybody have sat there if it weren’t for me? No. Min climbed in the back first, behind the driver’s seat! If I hadn’t been angry, you would have sat up front with me. We would have all escaped with relatively minor injuries. Now, my sister is going through hell in some fucking room I can’t even get into!”