Shaken, Not Stirred

by Sawyer Bennett

  "Casey... so help me God, if you don't let me in, I'm going to schedule an intervention with the entire crew," Gabby warns.

  And that really gets my attention because I totally don't want the gang sniffing around in my business.

  With a huff, I turn around in my chair to face her and say, "Fine. What do you want to know?"

  Gabby blinks in surprise, completely thrown off by my sudden capitulation. When she stays mute, I smirk at her and start to lie back down on my chair again.

  "What's his name?" she blurts out, and my reprieve is gone.

  I sit back up and face her. "Tenn."

  "Like the number?" she asks curiously.

  "No, like the poet, Tennyson. He's thirty-three, from Wyoming, visiting the area with Andrea's brother Kyle, and he's hung like a porn star. He fucks better than a porn star."

  "What does he do for a living?" she asks me, resting her arms on her knees as she leans forward.

  "Used to be a mechanic, but he said he's in between jobs right now."

  "A mechanic?" she asks in disbelief. "An unemployed mechanic?"

  "Yes, a mechanic. He's also been a Marine and a cowboy," I tell her, and then I imagine what Tenn would look like naked in chaps.

  "But you don't date mechanics," she says dumbly. "Or Marines or cowboys for that matter."

  "I'm totally diverse," I grumble.

  "Not when it comes to money, you're not," she points out. "And I don't think mechanics make the dollar range you aim for. I know for sure unemployed ones don't."

  "Well, maybe my tastes are changing," I tell her, and then immediately regret it. I've just invited her to start really nosing around.

  I expect a barrage of questions now, but Gabby does the unexpected. "Look, Casey... I love you. You're like my sister, and there isn't anything you can't tell me. But I also don't pretend to fully understand you either. I think there are things that are driving you... things that make you uniquely you. I can't say I'm not worried about your choices sometimes but one thing I do know... you're an immensely smart and loving woman. If you're changing, then it's only because you want it to be so, and you will find what you're seeking. That's how much faith I have in you."

  My eyes get a little moist and I have no clue what to say, so I instead lunge forward and wrap my arms around her, squeezing her so hard she gasps in my ear. As she squirms out of my hold, I whisper, "I love you too."

  When I release her, we give each other grins and then settle back in our chairs.

  "So, when do I get to meet this guy?" Gabby asks conversationally.

  "Not sure," I tell her. "We're not dating or anything. You know I don't do that."

  "Then what are you doing?"

  I shrug my shoulders and tilt my face back again. "Lots and lots of sexing for sure. He's coming back into town in a few days."

  "Well, bring him to Andrea's birthday party," Gabby says. "I promise I won't make a big deal of it."

  "Whatever," I scoff and to change the subject, I ask, "Anything else I need to do to help with the party?"

  "I've got it covered. I stopped by the bakery yesterday to order her cake."

  "Sweet," I murmur, feeling the sun start to make me drowsy.

  "Oh," Gabby exclaims, and she slaps me on my thigh again. "You'll never guess who I ran into at the bakery."

  I turn to glare at her. "Who?"

  "Jeff Parkhurst," Gabby says, and my insides clench violently. "He's visiting with his fiancee, and they were there checking out wedding cakes. They're apparently going to get married next summer on the island. His fiancee was heading back to New York today, but he's apparently staying for a while to visit with his parents. She's really nice too... and pretty, but I mean... hello, this is Jeff Parkhurst we're talking about."

  Gabby's voice drones on and on while bitter rage wells up inside of me. Rage for what he did to me and bitterness for what he's made me into.

  "Didn't you like date him for a little bit in high school?" Gabby chatters on and then giggles. "I mean... I think it was all of like two weeks or something. That must have been when you decided to become a man-eater, right Case?"

  Yeah... that's when I decided to become someone different. That's when I decided that open and trusting did me no good. That's when I realized that love was stupid, overrated, and most likely a lie.

  Gabby has no clue what really went down with Jeff and me. No one does for that matter, unless you count Tenn. He knows Jeff's name, and he knows he had something to do with the way I am.

  I think of Tenn... gorgeous, smiling face, carefree ways, down-to-earth nature. All things that I really started looking at and appreciating. All things that I knew were treacherous to a woman like me and so treated my interest with a measure of caution. I've certainly enjoyed replaying the memories of my time with him, and I'll admit I've been eager to reconnect with him.

  But now, with Gabby's innocent mention of Jeff Parkhurst, it all comes flooding back to me. The sour memory of having my first taste of love destroyed in a very humiliating way, and at a time in my life where I needed love and stability.

  Brody had just been sentenced to prison, and my world had been shattered. Prior to that, high school had been one endless and glorious event for me, and I was halfway through my senior year riding high on happiness. I was popular, fun to hang around, had amazing friends and I was dating the best-looking guy.

  Jeff Parkhurst had it all. Sandy blond hair, gray eyes, and a winning smile. His body was to die for, and every girl wanted the captain of the football team. His parents were loaded, and he drove a hot sports car. To a girl on the verge of womanhood, these were the most important things ever. It's what defined my life.

  Gabby is a little off in her recollection though. We had been dating almost a month when Brody became a sentenced felon, and Jeff was everything I could ever want in a boyfriend. He was sensitive and let me cry on his shoulder... I mean, like all the time. He put a stop to ugly rumors that started swirling around school about me... the baby sister of a murderer. He treated me reverently and with care. He told me he loved me and would love me forever.

  On the night that Brody was taken away to serve his time, Jeff took me out to the beach and held me while I cried some more. Then he kissed me sweetly and murmured all the things that a girl as lost as me was desperate to hear. That I was beautiful, that he would offer me up the world, that he would take care of me, and that he would love me no matter what.

  His kisses went from sweet to hot.

  Jeff was skilled and he was not a virgin the way I was. He touched me in just the right way and then fed me more promises that made my heart fall further slave to him.

  So on that moonlit beach, when he asked me for my virginity, I gave it up to him without another thought. I gave it willingly and blindly and I didn't regret my choice in the slightest.

  Not until about a week later when everything I thought I knew about love came crashing down.

  I snuck out of my parents' house late one night to go to a party that Jeff was throwing at his house. His parents were out of town, but my parents wouldn't let me go. Jeff assured me it was fine and it was okay if I couldn't come. He'd miss me and all that, but that we'd hook up the next day at the beach.

  He was completely cool with hanging without me but as a young woman in love, I wanted to be by his side all the time. So I snuck out and I went to the party.

  I think it would have been easier on me if I had found Jeff in some compromising position. Maybe in that respect, I could at least rationalize a man's baser instinct and capacity for infidelity. But that's not what I found.

  Instead, I came up on Jeff while he was standing in the kitchen with a group of his rich buddies. They were all standing around and laughing with beers in their hands. Jeff's back was to me, and I remember taking a moment to appreciate his stylish hair and the cut of his clothes on his well-muscled body. I thought about surprising him with a small pat on his ass or something equally sassy.

  When I walked up behind h
im though, I was stopped dead in my tracks when I heard him say, "I think I'm going to ask Tory Capps to the prom. Her dad does some investing with my dad and it's a good connection to have."

  One of his buddies whistled low and shook his head, "She is one hot piece, but seriously dude... you've got Casey Markham. Why do you want to mess with Tory?"

  As if they were discussing the stock market, Jeff got all serious. "Man... she is one seriously fantastic fuck. I mean, the hottest, tightest fuck you can imagine. But get real... she's not marriage material. She doesn't have the credentials, and you know she doesn't fit into our world. Her dad's a fisherman and her brother is a murderer, for Christ sake."

  I remember that my head started spinning as I listened in disbelief to his cruel words. And then I'll never forget the last words I heard him say before I ran out of there.

  "She's not marriage material, gents," Jeff said with a laugh and raised his beer in salute. "Casey Markham isn't good enough for someone like me. She's the one you want to fuck behind your wife's back."

  Crushed. Devastated. Depressed.

  I was all of that and more.

  Brody had abandoned me, and now Jeff had humiliated me and abused the love and trust I gave him. I ran out of that beach house in tears, but no one saw me. No one ever knew I was there and had overheard Jeff.

  I was absolutely despondent.

  For about a day.

  Then I realized something about myself. I had an epiphany.

  My parents had raised me to be proud and strong. They raised me to be independent. They taught me that I could be anything that I wanted to be. It was all within my control.

  So that is when I decided to take control of my life... most in particular, my love life, and I was never going to let another man hurt me again.

  I called Jeff up the next day and just politely told him I couldn't see him anymore. He asked me why, but I just graciously told him that things were too crazy in my life to be involved in a relationship. He acted a little put off, which I found to be heavily ironic given the way I knew he viewed me.

  And from then on, I became the Casey Markham who called all the shots. I was the one that decided who was good enough for me. I was the one that made men fall to their knees and beg to have a chance with me. I was the one that targeted a certain type of man... one that could be easily manipulated and controlled, so I would never have to worry again about someone taking advantage of me.

  I've used my face and my body to that advantage. I've ramped up my sexuality, and I've become very good at getting a man off so beautifully that he would never want me to leave his side. I became a woman that loves and appreciates sex... revels in the feelings and the release of it all. I use it to get what I want, and I do it all from deep within the safety of the walls I've built up around me.

  I only see men who think they are better than everyone else. I target men just like Jeff Parkhurst, and I use them as my surrogates. I play the same game over and over again, figuring every notch in my bedpost is another vain, narcissistic asshole who isn't getting one over on Casey Markham.

  I do all of this playing by my rules and my rules only.

  "Casey... have you been listening to a thing I've said?" Gabby grumbles.

  "Yeah... sure. Jeff Parkhurst back and all," I say absently, and my head swivels back to the right to look at the two men who were ogling me just a bit ago. I appraise them. There's money there no doubt. By the fake tans and expensive jewelry both are sporting, I'm betting their vanity runs amok.

  Just my type of men.

  I push up out of my chair, a small feeling of guilt and emptiness settling into the pit of my stomach when I think about Tenn and all the ways in which he's wormed his way inside my walls.

  Too fucking perilous. I knew it from the start and was fool enough to break my own rules.

  But I can't let a man like him continue to occupy my thoughts. I can't let him manipulate my actions. Gabby has done me a solid today and reminded me the type of woman that I am, and it's time to get back to what I do best.

  "I'll be back in a bit," I tell Gabby and then I start walking down the beach, swaying my hips and heading right for the two men who are staring hungrily at me.

  Chapter 12

  Tenn

  I'm exhausted yet determined to find Casey tonight. I flew into Raleigh this morning, had a quick lunch with Zoey, then hightailed it to the Outer Banks where I checked into a hotel, took a shower, and then went on the hunt.

  I'm on the hunt because Casey seems to have dropped off the face of the earth the last two days. We've gone from dirty talking phone calls with a few witty texts in between to nothing for almost forty-eight hours.

  Without a doubt, I know something has happened to her. Oh, not anything ominous, because Kyle reassured me that he hadn't heard anything bad from Andrea. But something caused her to go abruptly cold on me, and I'm going to find out what the fuck it was.

  Then I'm going to kiss some sense in to her.

  If that doesn't work, I'll fuck some sense in to her.

  I pull up outside of The Last Call. It's the only place I know to try as I completely bombed out when I went to her house. It was locked up tight, the lights were all off, and her Jeep was gone. While cruising for a parking spot since the lot is packed, I keep my eyes peeled for her Jeep but I don't see it. This is disappointing because I figured best-case scenario is she'd be stuck working behind the bar and wouldn't be able to escape me.

  I finally find a spot and pull my bike in at an angle. After taking my lid off, I run my fingers through my hair and buck up by taking a deep breath. It will be fine, I tell myself. Casey is fine.

  Why a woman I barely know outside of the intimacies of fucking is playing havoc with my mind is beyond me, but damn if I can just let this go. There's something about Casey that is just begging me to latch on, and that is not something I've ever felt for another woman in my life. Didn't feel it with Brianna, who trapped me into marriage with an "unexpected" pregnancy, nor in any of the women I dated after we divorced.

  Just Casey.

  Beautiful, pigheaded, and broken Casey.

  I have to have her.

  I walk into the bar, my eyes sweeping the place for golden hair. Coming up empty, I walk into the back bar area which is packed shoulder to shoulder with people. Luckily, my height gives me immediate advantage over the field and I quickly discern she's not behind the bar working, but that doesn't surprise me since her Jeep's not here.

  I do see the blond male bartender that I've seen come on duty when she gets off shift behind the bar, so I weave my way in between people until I make my way up to the edge. It takes a moment to get to me but luckily, the guy is efficient at his job.

  "What can I get you?" he asks as he swipes the bar with a rag, before throwing it casually across his shoulder.

  "Looking for Casey," I tell him. "You know where she is?"

  "Nah, man. She's off today," he says apologetically.

  "When does she work again?"

  "Tomorrow... twelve to six PM."

  "Thanks," I say with a nod and then as an afterthought, "let me get a Budweiser."

  No sooner is the bartender's back turned on me when I feel a light touch on my arm and a voice that says, "You're looking for Casey?"

  I look down to my left and see a woman sitting on a bar stool with a pint glass in front of her. She has long, dark hair and cat eyes, along with cheekbones that sit even higher and more prominent than Casey's.

  "Who wants to know?" I ask evasively.

  "I want to fucking know," the guy sitting beside the woman says as he stands from his bar stool. I hadn't noticed him before, but I notice him now as he rounds the pretty, dark-haired woman to come stand before me. "I'm her brother."

  "Hunter or Brody?" I ask, and the dude's eyebrows raise high.

  "Hunter," he says guardedly, eyes filled with suspicion.

  "Oh, my God," the dark-haired woman says with delight. "You're Tenn, aren't you?"

  Now
I'm all charm and I push past Hunter to stick my hand out to her with a smile. "Yes, I am. And you are?"

  She shakes my hand exuberantly and says, "I'm Gabby. I'm her best friend. And of course, you just met her brother, Hunter, who happens to be my fiance."

  "Casey's told me all about you and Hunter, as well as the rest of the gang," I say warmly, not offering my hand to Hunter. Truth is... she hasn't told me much, but they don't know that and I want to get information.

  "What the fuck?" Hunter says in exasperation. "Casey doesn't talk about us to men. At all. So seriously, dude... who are you?"

  Gabby makes a backhanded slap against Hunter's chest and rolls her eyes at him before turning her attention back to me. "Casey told me about you... the other day when we were hanging out at the beach. I think she was quite smitten with you."

  Yeah, I don't think smitten is a word I would ever use to describe Casey, but I have to appreciate Gabby's enthusiasm. I'm also filled with a jolt of happiness as I realize that Casey has mentioned me to her best friend. That surely has to mean something, right?

  "Any idea where she is tonight?" I ask casually, and then place a ten-dollar bill on the wooden countertop as the bartender sets my beer down.

  Hunter shakes his head no, but Gabby's eyes dart to the floor and then back to Hunter nervously. I don't like that... not at all.

  "Did something happen to her?" I ask with no small measure of dread in my voice.

  "No, no," Gabby assures me with an apologetic smile. "She's fine."

  "Then where is she?" I ask again, now starting to run out of patience. "We had plans to get together when I got back in to town."

  "She, um..." Gabby starts to say, but then Hunter intervenes.

  "Stay out of it, Gabby," he warns in a low voice.

  This causes him to get another backhanded slap to his chest as she gives him an icy look. "I will not stay out of it. Casey's my bestie and she likes Tenn, and I think she may be making a really stupid mistake right about now."

  Now my blood pressure starts to skyrocket and heat creeps up the back of my neck. "Where is she?" I grit out.

  "She went out on a date with some guy she met the other day on the beach," she blurts out as Hunter throws his hands up in the air in defeat and plops back down on his barstool. "They're at dinner right now."