Ria's Visions (Hearts of ICARUS Book 6)

by Laura Jo Phillips

  ***

  Talon rushed into comms just as Tee was storming toward the exit. “Wait,” Talon ordered his youngest brother, using a tone that he knew would cut through Tee’s anger.

  “Where’s Thorn?” Tee demanded, though he did at least stop.

  “I don’t know,” Talon said. “I’m not happy with him at the moment either, but we will deal with this using cool heads, Tee.”

  “Cool heads?” Tee snarled. “He has ruined any chance that she’ll ever consider accepting us, Talon. Do you realize that? I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t denounce us as completely unworthy.”

  “I think it’s time one of you told me what Thorn did to my sister,” Declan said, his suspicious gaze shifting back and forth between the two Katres.

  Talon considered his options, but he already knew he had none. Not only did Declan outrank him by virtue of being an Admiral as well as the overall commander of the entire task force, he was also family to Ria, despite not having soul-linked with Vari yet. Thinking of Vari reminded him of her skill with the Kunian steel dairi.

  Nope, he decided, we’re much safer dealing with Declan in this matter. “Play the mission vid,” he told Tee.

  Tee hesitated. While he was ready to take a piece out of Thorn himself, that didn’t mean he wanted to see his brother killed.

  “It’s all right, Tee,” Talon said. “Just play it.”

  Tee nodded, returned to the vid terminal and started the mission vid. On second viewing, Tee realized that his shock and anger had made Thorn’s actions worse than they’d actually been. They were bad enough, but mostly because of what he didn’t do, rather than anything he did. It was the things he’d said that were truly bad.

  When the vid ended Talon and Tee both waited to see what Declan would do. For a long moment, he said nothing at all. Then he sighed. “I strongly recommend that you destroy that vid,” he said, surprising them both. “If Vari sees it…just trust me on this. You don’t want her to see it.”

  “We’ll destroy it,” Talon said. “I’m surprised that you’re not furious with us. Or Thorn, at least.”

  “Your anger, and Tee’s, led me to expect something much worse than I saw.” He shrugged. “Thorn didn’t cause her harm, other than grabbing her at the beginning. I don’t like that he marked her, and I don’t like that he dragged her. But in the emotion of the moment I understand his need to get her under cover.

  “He was harsh with her, he hurt her feelings, and I don’t like that he didn't help her when she fell, or the snide comments he made when she was injured. He was not the cause of that injury, though. That makes his actions your problems to deal with, not mine.” Declan looked at Tee, then Talon.

  “It’s perfectly obvious that Thorn believes Ria takes the suppressants because of his scars. I don’t believe that for a moment, but my opinion is irrelevant. I mention it only to explain why I’m not quite as angry with him as I probably should be.

  “If you decide to tell Ria she’s your berezi, and she chooses to reject you because of the way Thorn treated her, which I can’t say I’d blame her for, I expect you to honor her decision.” Declan caught Talon’s gaze and held it. “I also expect you to inform me if you have even the slightest, tiniest concern that Thorn is a danger to Ria.”

  “You have my word on that, Declan,” Talon said.

  “Good enough,” Declan said. “I should return to the Bihotza and let Vari know that her sister is safe. I will make it clear to her, again, that she needs to stay out of this, but Vari can be stubborn. If she does come to the Hilgaria, my suggestion to all three of you is to shield yourselves.”

  “You think she’ll deliberately try to read our minds?” Tee asked in surprise.

  “Normally I’d say no,” Declan replied. “But Vari is worried about Ria. We all are.”

  “Have you any idea how we should handle this, Declan?” Talon asked. “I wouldn’t ask but…we’ve waited so long, and I fear we have little chance with her at this point.”

  “Do you truly want my advice?” Declan asked.

  “Yes, we do,” Talon and Tee said together.

  “Tell her the truth,” Declan said without hesitation.

  “And if she denounces us?” Tee asked.

  “Will you be any worse off than you are now? She thinks you hate her, and from what I just saw, she has ample reason to believe that. He put a blanket down for Star to lie on, found a dry jacket for himself, and left Ria soaked to the skin, shivering, and bleeding profusely with a broken arm. What would you think in her place?”

  “Bleeding?” Tee asked hoarsely.

  “It’s all right, Tee, the injury has been seen too and Dr. Jula is setting her arm now,” Declan said. “I’d like to add that, whatever happened on the Leaper, it’s not what you, or Thorn, seem to think. It’s not what we thought, either.”

  “Meaning?” Talon said.

  Declan frowned as he considered what he was about to say. These men were Ria’s destined Rami, and she already believed they hated her. If there was any chance of them developing a relationship with her, they needed to know what he knew, little as that was. “The first time we met Ria was three days before we departed Jasan, so we had no idea what she was like. Vari has noted a number of changes in Ria’s behavior that worry her a great deal.”

  “Such as?” Tee asked.

  “She’s withdrawn, quiet and, before the explosion, intensely focused on her job, her studies, and training. She also spends all of her time alone. She occasionally has a meal with us, but has insisted that we not invite her often as she has no desire to impose on us. She’s also very jumpy.

  “According to Vari, Ria makes friends easily, and can be flighty, impulsive, and unfocused. Traits I find extremely difficult to believe given what I’ve learned of her over the past five months.”

  “Those are major differences,” Talon said, frowning.

  “They are,” Declan agreed. “Vari thinks something happened to Ria on the Leaper. Something bad. Ria refuses to discuss it, and gets extremely upset the moment Vari brings it up.

  “One thing we’re all certain of is that Ria didn’t refuse to be transported from the Leaper because she was worried about patients. Nor was it because she was being stubborn, or selfish, or anything remotely like that.”

  “Why then?” Talon asked, not liking the feeling growing inside of him.

  “That’s exactly what we want to know,” Declan said. He then told them about Ria’s earrings, and what they’d discovered about them.

  “If Ria has always trusted Vari not to read her mind, why would she need jammers now?” Tee asked.

  “Psionic jammers aren’t perfect, and sometimes Vari picks things up without meaning to. We suspect Ria wanted to be sure there were no accidents, that whatever it is she’s trying to hide couldn’t slip out before she could stop it.”

  “So…she refused to be transported because she was afraid to get close enough for Vari to read her mind,” Tee said. “Is that right?”

  “That’s what we believe. Ria wouldn’t have made a scene if we’d gone after her that day, as Vari and I speculated on the mission vid. Ria swore to us that she wouldn’t have, and we know she was sincere. She didn’t put anyone’s life at risk, despite what everyone seems to think.”

  “I don’t like the sound of this,” Tee said.

  “Nor do we,” Declan agreed. “If you watch the mission vid again with what I’ve just said in mind, I think you’ll see a few things you didn’t notice the first time around.”

  “We’ll do that, Declan,” Talon said. “Thank you.”

  “I hope what I’ve told you helps you to understand Ria a little better. I do have one last thing to say.” Talon and Tee nodded. “If at any time Ria wants to return to the Bihotza, do not refuse her.”

  “We won’t,” Talon said. Declan nodded, then left.

  ***

  Thorn sat in his room watching the security feed from the infirmary. He’d been watching since just before Vari told ever
yone that he hadn’t broken her arm. He wasn’t so sure of that himself, now. The security cams were high resolution, so he had no trouble seeing the bruises on her arm. Bruises that he’d put there.

  The dark stain of blood that nearly covered the front of her shirt made him ill to see. She’d deliberately hidden her injuries from him because she didn't trust him. He couldn’t blame anyone for that save himself.

  Hearing her tell Talon and Declan that he hated her was almost worse than seeing the bruises. He’d heard her say that to Star earlier, but now he understood she not only meant it, but wasn’t surprised by it. She spoke as though she hadn’t expected anything else, had even told Declan that they couldn’t be blamed for it. That troubled him a great deal.

  Knowing it was wrong, but unable to help himself, he’d switched the feed to the security cam in another room of the infirmary and watched as Dr. Jula set and healed Ria’s arm. She did not cry out, but he could see the pain on her face and recognized it. She’d had the same look when he’d said he wasn’t sent to get her.

  She’d misunderstood him, he realized that now. What he didn't understand was why she hadn’t told him off for being such an enormous ass.

  Now she was back in the room with Star, wearing a clean shirt, her bruised and swollen arm in a sling even though the bone was healed. She refused again to take the pain medication Dr. Jula offered because she wanted to help Star.

  He sat up a little straighter when he noticed an increase in activity on the screen. Ria sat on a stool at the end of the table near Star’s head, while Dr. Jula stood at the other end. She lifted something small covered in semi-opaque tissue, worked over it for a moment, then laid it gently on the clean towel Ria placed between Star’s forelegs. Star nudged the cub, then began licking it, stimulating it into opening its little mouth. Ria kept one hand close to prevent the cub from rolling off the table, but the smile on her face took Thorn’s breath away. He was startled to realize it was the first time he’d ever seen her smile.

  He thought back to all of the hours and hours of surveillance vids he’d watched of her but couldn't remember ever seeing her smile in any of them. If he had, he was sure he’d remember it. She lit up the entire room.

  Before long Dr. Jula delivered a second cub and laid it in front of Star. After a quick check of the first one, she went back to the other end of the table. Thorn expected there to be more cubs, but he realized before long that it was just the two. He wondered at that. The Brun was so large that he’d expected there to be more. Then he remembered how clearly he’d felt Star’s bones poking through her skin when he’d helped her to her feet, and understood that two living cubs were miracles in themselves.

  A knock at the door tore his attention from the screen. “Come in Talon, Tee,” he said, knowing there was no avoiding the confrontation that was coming.

  They stepped into his room, closed the door and approached, watching the images on his vid terminal. “The cubs have been born,” Tee said. “Only two?”

  “Yes,” Thorn replied. “Beneath her thick coat, Star is almost skeletally thin. I’m not sure how she managed two.”

  “We need to talk,” Talon said.

  “I know,” Thorn replied. “I replayed the mission vid myself, so I know what you saw, and I know how you feel. When I watched it, I felt the same as I’m sure you did.”

  “How many times did you watch it?” Tee asked.

  “Just once. It was enough.”

  “We want you to watch it again,” Talon said. “But first, we want to tell you a few things that Declan shared with us.”

  “Declan knows and isn’t here to kill me?”

  “Just listen, please,” Tee said with a sigh. “This is important Thorn, and it’s not about you.”

  Thorn started to bristle, then sighed, accepting the small dig as justified. “I’m listening.”

  ***

  Considering how malnourished Star was, Dr. Jula was surprised to discover that she actually had milk for her cubs. There wasn’t much, but there were only two cubs, and they were a little premature so they were small. With the proper nutrition that Star would now be getting, she’d have plenty of milk before long.

  “One son, and one daughter,” Star said happily. “I thank you, all of you, for helping me, and for bringing me here.”

  “You’re welcome, Star,” Ria said, her own eyes stinging at the emotion in Star’s mental voice. “I wish I could see what they look like.”

  “You can see nothing of them?”

  “I can see their shape, but that’s about all.”

  “I don’t understand, Ria. How is it you see, but don’t see?”

  “I see thermal variations,” Ria said. “Heat, or lack of it. When I look at you, I see the shape of your body, but it’s red in the areas where you’re warmest, like your chest, abdomen, and head. Orange and yellow on your legs where your body is cooler. I can’t see what color your fur is, or what color your eyes are, and I can’t see the letters on signs or images on vid screens.

  “But I can see enough of my surroundings to be able to walk around without tripping over things or walking into walls. The floor in here looks purple to me because it’s cold. The walls are a lighter shade of purple with areas that are blue, which tells me they’re a little warmer. It’s enough.”

  “I understand now. How did you come to see this way? Were you born with it?”

  “No, I was injured in an explosion a few weeks ago. Enough of that. Tell me about your cubs, please.”

  “My daughter is white, like me, with a thin line of black on the edges of her ears. She has no markings like I do.”

  “You have a marking?”

  “Yes, a black shape that looks like a five pointed star on my shoulder. That’s why my mother named me Star. Ria, I ask that you name her.”

  “Seriously?” Ria asked, stunned. “You want me to name your daughter?”

  “Yes, I do. Would you mind?”

  “Mind?” Ria asked, smiling. “No, I don’t mind. But you have to promise that if you don’t like the name I pick, you’ll say so.”

  “I so promise,” Star said, happy that Ria agreed.

  “Okay then, give me a minute to think. Tell me about your son, please.”

  “He’s light grey with a dark mask, back, and tail, just like his father, Lonato. I wondered if it would pain me to name a son Lonato if I were lucky enough to have one. If it would bring sad memories of my pack each time I said it. But now my son is here, and I know there can be no other name for him but Lonato.”

  “That’s a wonderful name, Star. I’m sorry you lost so much, though.”

  “My mother used to say that to wish away yesterday, is to wish away today.” Star’s head tilted as she looked down at the cubs nestling up against her warmth to sleep now that their little bellies were full. “I never understood that. Actually, I suspected it was a way to make me think harder about whatever it was I was attempting to wish away. But I understand what she meant now, and I must admit that she was right.”

  “What did she mean?” Ria asked curiously. She couldn’t count the number of times she’d wished certain things away.

  “The day the Nomen attacked my pack, I was busy digging a den some distance away, for when the cubs were born. I have wished each day since that I had been with my pack that day because it was so hard to be alone and scared all the time.

  “My cubs did not seem so real to me then. Now that they are here, now that I can see them and touch them, I understand what my mother meant.

  “If I had not been away digging my den, then I would not be here right now, and neither would Lonato and my daughter, who still doesn’t have a name.”

  Ria smiled at the not so subtle reminder. “I’m glad your wish didn’t come true, Star. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had the chance to meet you, or your children. What do you think of the name Belle?”

  Star’s head tilted. “I’ve never heard that word before but I like the sound of it. It’s pretty, and feminine. What d
oes it mean?”

  “Beautiful,” Ria said.

  “I like that very much and it suits her because she is beautiful,” Star said happily. “Belle she will be.”

  “Okay you two, it’s time for me to get to work on this injury,” Dr. Jula said when she was finished tending to Star after the birthing. “I know you’re tired Star, so I’m going to give you a little medicine to help you sleep, and to prevent you from feeling any pain.”

  “What of my cubs?”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll be keeping a very close eye on Belle and Lonato.”

  “Ria, will you stay?”

  Ria was so tired she was feeling woozy, but she couldn’t bring herself to refuse. Before she could tell Star she’d stay, Dr. Jula spoke up.

  “Once you’re asleep, Star, I’ll be sending Ria to get something to eat,” she said, using her best no-nonsense voice which was, in fact, very effective. “Her body has been through a difficult ordeal today too, and she lost a great deal of blood. She needs to get some food into her soon, or I’ll have to bring in another medi-cot for her. After she eats she can come and check on you and the cubs. Then I’m sending her off to bed.”

  “I’m sorry, Ria. I’ve been very selfish, thinking only of myself when you were injured too.”

  “Stop that, Star,” Ria said. “It was my choice and besides, I wouldn’t trade being here with you to see Belle and Lonato born for anything for any reason. It’s an experience I will always treasure.”

  “I am honored you agreed to stay,” Star said. “Now, please do as Dr. Jula says and take care of yourself. You must go eat, then sleep.”

  “I will Star, don’t worry,” Ria said. “I’ll wait until you’re asleep though.”

  “Thank you,” Star said, resting her chin on the table with a relieved sigh. She wanted Ria to take care of herself, and she did feel badly for not thinking of it herself. But she’d been so alone, and so afraid for herself and her cubs for so long that it was difficult to let go of the one person she knew she could trust above all others. She had absolute faith that Ria would never abandon her, but she was glad Ria would stay until she slept so she wouldn't have to watch her leave.