He wouldn’t look at me. “I just realized I was supposed to be somewhere. Do you think we could hit a drive-thru instead?”
“Are you serious? Didn’t you practically beg me to come here?”
He leaned across the table getting closer to me. At first I wanted to back away before I realized he was trying to be inconspicuous. “I need you to trust me.” His eyes were frantic, like he was desperate to get as far away as possible. I didn’t understand.
“Okay, we can go.”
Cole kept his head down as I followed behind him, silently wondering what the hell was going on. Once we were in the car he peered out the window, as if I wasn’t sitting next to him. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”
“Just take me home. This was a bad idea.”
Since I wasn’t trying to have a relationship outside of helping him, I didn’t ask many questions. I did manage to stop at a local drive-thru to get myself a drink. When Cole wanted food I was even more confused. “Let’s go inside.”
“I thought you needed to get home.”
“No. I just needed to get out of there.”
“Care to explain?”
He raised a brow and smiled. “If I told you that, you might think I like you, and we both know you couldn’t handle it.”
I rolled my eyes and parked the car. “I hate to break it to you, but I wouldn’t care. My views would still remain the same. I’m here to help you. It’s my job and I take pride in it. You needed a ride, and so I offered it. You said you were hungry, and I was too. Don’t read anything else into it. I can promise you I’m professional.”
He took me by surprise by reaching over and moving a piece of my hair away from my face. “I have no doubts about your professionalism, but when you feel it, you feel it. It’s only a matter of time before you throw yourself on me, and I’ll just put this out there, I won’t push you away.”
He was entirely too full of himself. It annoyed me more than anything. After grabbing my purse from the backseat, I headed into the eatery, knowing he was following behind me like a lost puppy.
I stood to order, but Cole stepped in front of me. He ordered his food, while I stood there assuming he was being rude, but before I could say something smart he turned to look at me. “What would you like?”
“I can get it myself.”
“I insist.” Since I figured he didn’t have a lot of money I ordered something small and thanked him. He carried our tray full of food to a nearby table and we sat across from one another. I was trying hard not to look, but I took in his clothes. Cole was wearing a pair of camo cargo shorts. He had a tank top on that didn’t really match, but showed off his strong biceps. His hair was disheveled, probably because he hadn’t had a brush in a couple days. I liked the way it looked, and could tell it was pretty thick. It was a little lighter than I first suspected, being a more dirty blonde in color. When my eyes met his I felt embarrassed. He was watching me check him out, but said nothing until I was caught. “See something you like?”
“Okay, this needs to stop. You’re pushing my buttons.”
“You like it.” He winked and took a bite of his sandwich.
“I do not,” I defended. “You’re too much. Tell me,” I took my first nibble as I asked. “Are you like this with everyone?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He played with the bun on his sandwich and pulled out a large wedge of lettuce. “I hate when they do that. Who even eats that part of the leaf?”
He was changing the subject, thank God. “There’s a meeting tonight. Are you planning on coming?”
“That depends if my new girlfriend plans on picking me up. I’m pretty sure there aren’t any taxis around.”
I almost choked thinking about a taxi in our neck of the woods. The only time we used one was when we went to the airport. Shalan sometimes hired a car to come and pick her up, but I knew it was astronomical in cost. “I guess I don’t have a choice. I’ll have to come get you.”
“It won’t be for long. I start a new job in two days.”
“Really? You got a job already?”
“Yeah, I know a guy who has a booth open at his tattoo shop. I won’t make much at first since I don’t have clientele, but it’s something. Hopefully I’ll get some of the walk-ins.”
“Do you like doing that?” I was only attempting to be friendly.
“You say you’re not interested, but you keep prying. If you must know, I like doing anything that has to do with art. Maybe after we’ve gone out a few times I’ll show you some of my work.”
“Gone out? You’re still on that?” I continued smiling, and I couldn’t figure out why. This guy was getting under my skin, and he kept pushing. He refused to let up, even if it made me piping mad. “I’ll agree to take you to the meetings, if you promise to stop assuming I want something out of this. This,” I waved my hands between us, “is as far as we go. I said it before, we’re not going to date. I’m not interested in having a boyfriend, especially someone in the program. It’s against the rules. You know that don’t you?”
He leaned forward. “Maybe you should remind me.” Then he began to chuckle. “I’m messing with you. Sorry. It’s just the way I handle uncomfortable situations.”
“You seem to be very comfortable.”
“It’s a façade, however, you are easy to be around. I appreciate that. Not many people give me second chances.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. Everyone deserves at least one.”
He sighed. “Yeah, not me. It’s in my blood apparently.”
“Coming from someone who lives with a well-known family, I can see where someone would think that, but you’re probably wrong. I bet I have no clue who your family is.”
“It’s going to stay that way too. You don’t need to know. I’d rather be someone else. Moving back here was a last resort. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to. Trust me, I’ve already seen all I could handle being here.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way. I love where we live.”
“Like I said before, it’s fine. I’ll deal, especially if I get to see your pretty face every once in a while.”
“You’re ridiculous, but I’ll accept the compliment.”
He pulled out his phone and then cleaned up his tray. “We better get going. I’ve already taken up too much of your time.”
“I told you it was my job. This is what I do. I help people.”
“And I apparently destroy them, so let’s call it a day.”
It was weird how he was so negative. It was difficult to figure him out. One minute he was hitting on me, and the next pushing me away.
I drove him home and watched as he made his way inside of the home. When I was almost back to the ranch I got a message from him.
It’s me, Cole. What time will you pick me up for the meeting? – C
Around six-forty-five. I have to pick up some snacks on the way. – A
I’ll be out front waiting. Make sure you change. I can’t handle you in that dress tonight. See you then, precious. – C
I rolled my eyes after reading it and continued on with my drive. When I pulled up at the house my dad was out front. I hopped out of the car and traveled over to where he was bent over a big tractor with a mower deck attached. “Did the belt pop off again?” It was due to be replaced, but my dad never bought anything unless he had to. He was as frugal as they come.
“Yeah. It’s givin’ me a heck of a time.” He climbed up, towering over my petite frame. “What on earth are you wearing? Is that your mother’s dress?”
I looked down at what I had on. “Um, yeah. It’s a long story.”
“Why don’t you go get changed. I’m going to need a hand with this.”
When my dad requested something from us kids we knew better than to complain about it. It was best to do what he asked and then get out of dodge so he couldn’t keep adding things.
Once I was in my room, I slid out of the hideous dress and put it in my laundry basket. Then I
pulled on some jean shorts and a tank top – my normal farm attire, and met my dad back out front. By the time I got there, Noah was at the opposite end of the tractor lifting it enough for my dad to see better. I crossed my arms over my shoulders and watched as they battled to get the loose belt back on track. “Wouldn’t it be easier to just replace the darn thing?”
Noah basically growled. He was struggling to hold the heavy equipment. “You done, Dad?”
“Yeah.” Our father slid out from underneath and brushed off his shirt before standing. Noah relaxed after he’d dropped the deck.
“Damn, that was brutal.”
“I can finish mowing.” By offering to do that I wouldn’t have to get dirty, besides, I liked how loud the motor was. It made everything else in the world disappear. My dad, who almost always wore a baseball cap, took his off his head and stuck it on mine. I could feel his sweat band touching me, but tried not to cringe. It was a kind gesture and I knew in his heart I was still his baby girl.
“I already did the back. Don’t raise the blade. I want it all the same length.”
I adjusted the large hat on my head and gave him a thumbs up. “Got it.”
“And don’t trim around the woods. It’s full of poison ivy,” Noah added.
I spent the rest of the afternoon mowing the front part of our yard, all ten acres of it. Sunburned and thirsty, I headed inside for some of my mom’s sweet tea. I found her in the kitchen bent over the oven. Lightly I smacked her on the butt. “Hey Mama. What ya cookin’?”
“Venison stroganoff. I made it yesterday. I’m just reheating it.” My mom liked to cook several meals at once, making it easier during the week. All she had to say was deer meat and I was the first one at the table. I also knew for a fact my brother and Shalan would be at dinner to mooch. He loved her stroganoff. “Will Christian be here tonight?”
“I’m not sure. She and Ethan are meeting with a pool company at their house.”
“Why do they need a pool if there’s a huge one at Gram’s house?”
“Your sister wants her own things. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
My sister and Ethan owned land next to our ranch. His family originally held the deed to the property and gave it to him once he graduated college. Ethan was smart, but decided to keep up the family business of farming. Our families had recently combined entities. I think my sister was in heaven. She had the guy of her dreams, and a set future. It took them long enough to get together. I think they’d been in love for years before acting on it. Now they were inseparable. Ethan loved my sister, flaws and all. He was a good man, and still her very best friend.
Someday I wanted that – the promise of a future. For now I had to settle for one day at a time. I was in no place in my life to meet someone new, and I certainly wasn’t interested in Joe, no matter how hard he tried to get into my pants. Sure, I felt sexually deprived, but I could deal with it, because I was taking back my life, all parts of it.
“Do you need help with anything?”
“No. I’m just trying to get it done before your meeting tonight.”
I sat down on a chair and sipped a bottle of cold water. “I need to leave a little early. I promised someone a ride.”
“A new recruit?” My parents were huge supporters of what I did.
“Yeah. He’s new in town, well he was born here, but moved, and now he’s back. Anyway, I offered to get him to the meetings.”
“Be careful, Addy. I don’t like the idea of you riding around alone with strangers.”
“He’s harmless, Mama.”
“Your sister thought that too. I just don’t want you making the same mistakes. Be careful, please. If he makes you feel uncomfortable you kick him to the curb.”
I laughed at her. “Ok. I promise I’ll do that.”
“How old is this guy?”
“My age. Mom, he’s a goofball.” She was always Mama unless it was getting serious. I wanted her to know I wasn’t uncomfortable around this guy, and I’d like to think I had a little more experience with people than my sister, who had spent most of her time curled up with a book in her room. Don’t get me wrong, I envied her ability to escape, but I tended to be more sociable.
Dinner with my family was always a highlight of my day. My mom brought up my new project, also known as Cole. Briefly they grilled me about being careful. My father went as far as to make sure my pepper spray wasn’t out of date. While I wasn’t worried about Cole taking advantage of me in any way, I did find comfort in knowing my family would stop at nothing to keep us girls safe.
Chapter 5
Addison
After I showered and got ready to attend the night’s meeting, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. From being clean, and living a healthy lifestyle I liked the person looking back at me. I was happy with myself, in a good place even. I always tried to look presentable, except for this morning when I wanted to look ridiculous to prove a point. Tonight I wore a pair of khaki shorts with a red T-shirt. I let my hair down and straightened it, because unlike most Summer evenings, it wasn’t that humid to where my hair would start to crinkle up and curl.
I don’t know why, but I felt nervous driving to pick Cole up. He’d made an impression on me, one I wasn’t sure how to interpret. Despite the fact that I had rules, I knew I still wanted to look good around him, maybe just to rub in that nothing was going to happen. I wasn’t overdoing it. Obviously I wasn’t dressed slutty. I simply wanted to be me, comfortable and in control.
When I pulled up at the house I saw Joe’s police cruiser in the driveway. I honked my horn once and watched as he came outside first. He was wearing his uniform pants, but had taken off his dress shirt leaving only a white tee underneath. He leaned inside the window when I lowered it. “Don’t tell me he conned you into taking him somewhere. I told you he was trouble.”
“It’s my job, Joe.”
“This is not your job. He’s an addict.”
“So am I, but you still want to date me.”
“Addison, you’re different. You’re better.”
“Maybe I am, but there was a time where I was way worse than he is. To be honest, Cole isn’t that bad at all. He’s completely detoxed. He’s got a means for income, and he knows what he has to stay away from to remain clean. That’s more than I can say for half the attendees at the meetings.”
“Don’t go helping him because you think it’s a favor to me. I don’t give a shit what happens to him. He’s taken advantage of my parents far too long.”
This annoyed me. “Joe, I’m going to make my own decisions when it comes to Cole.” I saw him coming outside, and I’m not sure if Joe noticed, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of him.
He was wearing dark shorts with baggy pockets on the side. His shirt had regular sleeves and some kind of design on the front. The blue color was one of my favorites, and my goodness it showed off every muscle on his chest. His hair, completely messy on the top of his head, made me wonder what it would feel like to run my hands through it. “You out here trying to convince her to drive away without me?” Cole asked Joe.
“If I find out you did something to hurt her, I’ll kill you. Keep that in mind.”
Cole laughed as he climbed into the passenger seat. “Yeah, whatever, bro. I’ll keep her safe. Don’t you worry about that.”
I felt uncomfortable. There was no denying I was attracted to Cole. Everything about him was my type, and I think Joe noticed it too. He shook his head before turning around and walking back toward the house.
“Don’t worry about him, Cole. Joe doesn’t understand.”
“I know. No matter how much I change, I’ll always be a screw-up to him.”
“It doesn’t matter where you came from, it’s where you’re headed. That’s what my dad always tells me.”
Cole looked at me and smiled as I pulled away from the curb. “I like that.”
“Try to remember it when you think you can’t change. It helps me.”
Cole though
t he was worse off than he really was. He could have been sticking a needle in his arm, but he never had. Maybe Joe’s overreacting had saved Cole from that fate. Maybe this was exactly where he was supposed to be.
Cole was quiet for the rest of the ride. He gazed out the window, and I left him to think to himself. I knew when prying wasn’t a good idea.
He did help me when I went into the grocery store to grab snacks, well if that’s what you’d call it. I used a cart, because it was easier to get around. Every single time I went to fetch a new item I’d come back to ten random things thrown into the basket. He’d pretend he didn’t do anything by looking in another direction. At one point I think we had twenty air fresheners in all scents. I couldn’t stop laughing, which obviously made him happy. When it was all said and done he put everything back, and even carried the bags when we left.
We rolled into the parking lot of the church with two minutes to spare. Since I had to get everything started, Cole insisted on setting up the coffee stands and trays of snacks for later.
He came into the room around fifteen minutes after we’d started. There were about ten regulars, and a few faces I saw every once in a while. Cole sat in the back with his arms crossed in front of his chest. A few times I glanced his way just to get a better look at his muscles. It was shameful – I knew it was, even though I couldn’t help myself. As soon as he’d look at me, I’d peer away, fearing he’d caught me yet again. It was a game we were playing. I was in denial, not because of my attraction to him. He was difficult to overlook. I hated myself for wanting to, because I knew he was off limits.
Toward the end of the meeting Cole came up to the podium to tell his story. I was humbled he was prepared to share already. Most people waited a few visits to get familiar with the environment. They wanted to know they weren’t alone before divulging their sins.
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