Fall of Icarus

by Jon Messenger

  He was still grappling with his pending search when the elevator doors opened to the lobby and he stepped out. Moving around the corner, Yen nodded to the concierge before turning toward the front doors of the hotel. Looking up, he froze in his tracks. There, silhouetted against the bright morning sunlight, Keryn stood at the window watching the flowing river beyond. Yen’s heart leapt in his chest, surprised both by her appearance and by fate bringing them so quickly together. Drawn forward, Yen stopped when he was only a body’s length away.

  “Keryn,” he said, breathlessly.

  She turned quickly, her violet eyes narrowed at the sound of her name. Seeing Yen, she seemed to hardly relax. If anything, she tensed further. Hesitantly, Keryn brushed her silver hair out of her face sheepishly, exposing the brilliant red and purple tattoos that framed her face.

  Keryn glanced quickly over Yen’s shoulder before speaking in a hushed tone. “Yen, what are you doing here?”

  “It’s a long story,” Yen sighed. “But I’m really here looking for you. Is this where you’re staying?”

  Keryn frowned as she appeared to collect her thoughts. “I can’t talk about this right now. Whatever we need to talk about, we can do it when we’re back on board the Revolution.”

  Yen arched an eyebrow. Keryn seemed closed off and hesitant, a far cry from the reunion he had expected after finding her on the space station. He took a step closer, but she took a step away. “I don’t think the Revolution is the right place to say what I need to say.”

  “You need to leave, Yen,” Keryn said slightly angrily. “This is neither the time nor the place for the conversation that I want to have with you.”

  Yen could feel his own anger rising. “What has gotten into you?”

  “I…” she began before pausing.

  Before she could finish her sentence, a strong male voice called from behind Yen. “Is there a problem here?”

  Yen turned to find himself face to face with Eminent Merric. At first, he simply stared at the Pilgrim, uncomprehending of why he would be getting involved in their personal conversation. Subtly, though, Yen caught Merric’s stolen glances toward Keryn. Suddenly, it became painfully apparent, and Yen was suddenly aware that he was caught standing in between Merric and Keryn.

  Turning quickly on Keryn, Yen’s face betrayed his surprise and hurt. “You and Merric? How could you?”

  Keryn’s eyes flashed angrily. “Me? How could I do this? That’s more than a little hypocritical, don’t you think?”

  “What are you talking about?” Yen said, his volume rising in reflection with his frustration.

  “You need to keep your voice down,” Merric threatened from behind Yen.

  “Stay out of this,” both Yen and Keryn replied simultaneously.

  “What am I talking about?” Keryn asked. “I’m talking about you and Iana Morven!”

  Yen stared dumbfounded at the Wyndgaart woman before him. He struggled to figure out how she could have known about them.

  Misjudging Yen’s confusion, Keryn continued with a sadistic smile. “That’s right, Yen. I saw you two together, so much in love as you exited the movie theater last night. And somehow I don’t think this is the hotel that you’re staying in.”

  “That’s what this is about?” Yen said, laughing despite his frustration. “This is all about me and Iana?”

  Keryn flushed with anger at his laughter. “Don’t try to deny it!”

  “Believe me, I’m not! But you’re basing this entire argument on the fact that you saw me with another woman. Not kissing her. Not holding hands. Just with her. So all this anger and all this jealousy is based off the fact that you can’t stand to see me with someone else. You don’t want to be with me, but Gods forbid that I’m happy with anyone else.” Yen’s eyes narrowed and his voice dropped dangerously. “And because you saw me with another woman, that gives you the right to go have sex with your boss?”

  Keryn’s hand struck so quickly that Yen didn’t have time to raise his own in defense. Her open strike caught Yen across the cheek, snapping his head to the side. Turning back toward her, Yen stared at her in disbelief. He could feel the marks on his face stinging strongly from where her firm slap had struck. Keryn looked back defiantly, though tears welled in her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. Without a word, she turned away and stormed out the door.

  With her slap, the anger and irritation Yen had felt fled from his body. He hadn’t intended to be so harsh and he felt guilty after seeing that his words had made her cry. A mixture of emotions drove him; conflicting urges to both pursue her out of love or out of betrayal and anger fought within him. Confounded, Yen stood in the lobby and stared at her departure.

  His revelry was broken by a rough shoulder nudging him out of the way. Merric walked past arrogantly with a faint smile on his lips. Raising a hand, he waved as he reached the doors leading out into the street.

  “So sorry, Xiao,” Merric said haughtily as he held the door open. “I guess it’s true what they say: you can’t win them all. Best of luck next time around.”

  As the door swung shut behind Merric, Yen’s emotional turmoil disappeared. All his conflicting feelings of love and hurt toward Keryn were replaced by a yearning for revenge against Merric.

  Common sense quickly reasserted itself as he stepped outside, into the blindingly bright artificial sunlight. Though he looked up and down the street, Yen could see no sign of Keryn. He had no doubt that, once out of sight of the hotel, she had run back to wherever she was staying. Frustrated, Yen knew that he had to make things right with Keryn. Regardless of his feelings of betrayal, he still loved her. Now, though, Yen found himself facing a sprawling three-level city and hundreds of streets and alleyways. He would find her before shore leave was done and they returned to the Revolution; he was sure of that. Sighing, he knew that finding her would probably take all day. Pushing his plans of relaxation to the back of his mind, Yen set off to find the woman he loved.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Keryn let her feet lead her through the city, oblivious to her final destination. In reality, it mattered little to her. Her mind whirled with dread, replaying the events at the hotel. She rubbed her eyes, still painfully aware of the hot tears that still leaked from their corners. She loved Yen; there was no denying it. But in her haste to find herself after separating from the Voice, she had unwittingly fallen into the arms of a man she truly didn’t think she liked. Merric had been convenient, a distraction from the weight of leadership. He had understood her complaints and worries about being the Squadron Commander since he served in such an influential position on board the Revolution. She had been able to speak frankly about fellow officers and not only did he understand her dilemmas, he was able to add constructive criticism about the individuals, since he knew them personally. But is that what she really wanted in a relationship? Constructive criticism? Of course she knew the answer. Keryn wanted Yen, but her rash decision to bed Merric might have cost her the one chance she had with him.

  Looking up, Keryn wasn’t at all surprised to find herself standing outside the Frozen Nebula. Even in her distraction, she had come somewhere familiar, and on an unknown space station, familiar areas were few and far between. Pushing open the door, Keryn let the cool air and soft music wash over her, cleaning away the mental grime of the rest of the entertainment level. Glancing briefly at her from his task of cleaning the glasses with a spotless rag, the bartender nodded before resuming his task.

  Being early afternoon, the bar was mostly deserted. Those who had come for lunch had already finished their meals and moved on. It was still too early for the night time festivities, and many who sat in the bar did so to drink away their problems. In sharp realization, Keryn wondered if that wasn’t exactly why she was there as well. Away from the others, separated from any chance of running into Crewmen from the Revolution, and in a bar that catered to a very small crowd, the Frozen Nebula had inadvertently become Keryn’s escape from reality. Sliding up to the bar, Keryn dro
pped heavily into a barstool.

  The bartender moved in her direction. Stopping in front of her, he gave a soft smile that spoke volumes on how much he understood her pain. “Rough day already?” he asked, ready to spill forth the sage wisdom that every bartender accumulated during their time serving drinks. “Let me get you a drink and you can tell me all about it.”

  “I’ll take the drink,” Keryn replied curtly, “but I’ll keep my problems to myself.”

  “Suit yourself,” the bartender said politely. She ordered the same drink Merric had bought for her the night before and cringed at her first sip.

  She knew now that last night had been a terrible mistake. Seeing Yen and Iana together had made her angry and, in retaliation, she had turned to a friendly face for comfort. It had seemed an innocuous act the night before, but the ramifications were more than Keryn thought she could bear. Her one night of pleasure had brought immeasurable pain in her life. What if Yen never forgave her, either for sleeping with Merric or for publicly humiliating him by slapping him in the hotel lobby? She could clearly remember the look of shear disbelief on his face and the four red lines of her fingers imprinted on his cheek. It had been a short-sighted reaction to his harsh words, but he hadn’t been wrong to say those things. Still, she hadn’t been the first to find comfort in the arms of another, had she?

  Keryn could imagine Yen holding Iana in his arms. She would cradle her head in his chest as she pressed her small, curvy body against his. Iana’s fingers would trace the outline of his stomach muscles as her hands sank lower. He would purr in pleasure as her hands caressed him…

  “I thought I might find you here,” a familiar male voice called from just behind her. In her daydreaming, Keryn hadn’t even heard the door to the Frozen Nebula open. Turning, she frowned at the sight of Merric. His cocky smile was pasted across his face. Without an invitation, he sat in the stool next to her.

  “Go away, Merric,” she muttered. “I just want to be alone right now.”

  “I hear you say it, but I don’t believe you mean it,” he replied. Sliding closer, she could feel his warm breath on her cheek as he spoke. “I think you are just afraid.”

  Keryn leaned away and gave him a confused look. “Afraid of what?”

  “You’re afraid of what will happen if you give into temptation again like you did last night. You hurt Yen’s feelings and now he’s suffering through a strange sense of inadequacy. I feel his pain, I truly do. But he’ll just have to understand that you found a better man now.”

  Rolling her eyes, Keryn responded. “You really are full of yourself, aren’t you?”

  Merric shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I be? I was the one you slept with last night, not Yen. Anyways, it seems like he’s already found a replacement for you in that little blonde pilot. What’s her name? Ivana?”

  “Leave it alone, Merric,” Keryn warned. “Don’t start getting into things that don’t involve you.”

  “But it does involve me,” Merric replied. “I have to protect what’s mine.”

  Keryn spun her chair so she was facing Merric. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “It means exactly what it sounds like. Down here, we’re all on shore leave. I’m just Merric. You’re just Keryn. But once we get back to the Revolution, you all work for me. Since you’re with me now, if Yen gets out of line again like he did today, I’ll just have him moved to another ship.”

  “And you think that’s what I want?” Keryn asked indignantly. “You think I got close to you just so that I could use your position for revenge on Yen? How childish do you think I am? And what happened to the man that I met last night?”

  “The man you met last night is still sitting in front of you,” Merric cooed. “And the one you had sex with all night is here, too, just waiting for an invitation.”

  Keryn felt nauseas. All of his kind words and seeming understanding was melting away, being revealed, in its core, as just a ploy to get her to sleep with him. Merric truly was a despicable man.

  “Last night was a mistake,” Keryn answered. “And it will never, ever happen again.”

  Merric flashed his warm smile, the one she had assumed to be compassionate when she saw it last night. “Don’t be like that, Keryn. Why don’t we go back to my place and talk about it.”

  “I don’t think so,” she replied flatly.

  Reaching out, Merric grabbed a hold of her arm roughly. “There’s no reason to be rude. Come on, baby.”

  “Let go of me,” Keryn said, trying to pull away, but his grip remained strong. She could feel his fingertips biting into the inside of her arm, bruising the skin beneath her shirt. “You’re hurting me.”

  “The lady asked you to let her go, Merric,” Yen said from the doorway of the Nebula. The door was still open, allowing the warm air and chaotic sounds of the city to filter into the otherwise quiet bar. “I advise you to heed her advice.”

  Merric didn’t bother to look at Yen, instead focusing all his attention on the cringing Keryn. “Mind your own business, Xiao. We were just talking, weren’t we, Keryn?”

  “No, we were done talking,” Keryn said angrily. “Now let go of me!”

  “Let go of her, now,” Yen said, his voice stern as he stepped out of the doorway and toward the pair sitting at the bar.

  Merric flung Keryn’s arm aside, nearly knocking her from the stool. “I told you before, you little prick. Mind your own…”

  Merric never got to finish his sentence. His eyes caught sight of the air shimmering and dancing angrily around Yen’s body moments before Yen’s power reached out and lifted Merric from his seat. Dangling like a rag doll a few feet above the bar, Merric struggled against the unsubstantial and invisible hands that gripped him firmly in place.

  “You should have listened to me, Merric,” Yen said, his eyes pulsing with blue power. “Someday you’ll learn to listen to me when I speak.”

  With a wave of his hand, Yen sent Merric flying through the air. Crashing into a table, Merric’s body shattered the dark wood table top before he came to rest against the next table in line. Chairs scattered and were left overturned by the commotion and the few patrons of the bar were paralyzed, frozen in mid-drink or mid-sentence by the psychic attack.

  “Yen,” Keryn said with some relief.

  Instantly, the shimmering faded away and Yen’s dark eyes reasserted themselves against the flickering blue power. He walked closer, but stopped just shy of arm’s reach away from her.

  “I’m sorry,” he stammered quickly, a much changed man from the assertive attacker she had seen walk through the doorway. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you at the hotel.”

  Keryn was keenly aware of the eyes that watched Yen cautiously and the groggy moaning of Merric who was just beginning to regain consciousness. “Would you like to walk with me? I think I’d rather talk about this some place else.”

  Yen looked around at the destruction he had caused, surprised as though seeing his handiwork for the first time. “That’s probably a good idea.”

  Downing her drink, Keryn turned and led Yen from the bar. When they were clear of the Frozen Nebula and lost among the sea of afternoon crowds, they slowed their pace and walked for some time in silence. Both took deep breaths as though trying to start a sentence, but neither spoke. Finally, Yen broke the silence.

  “You didn’t deserve what I said,” he muttered, as though haphazardly asking for forgiveness. “I was just surprised and hurt to see you with Merric.”

  “Merric was…” Keryn wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence. Finally she settled on telling him what had been going through her head at the bar. “Merric was a stupid, stupid mistake. I was looking for comfort and he was there.”

  Yen cringed at hearing Keryn so passively talk about her time with Merric. She immediately regretted the turn of the conversation, but couldn’t find a more polite way to explain herself.

  Yen looked down at his feet as they walked and shoved his hands deep in the pockets
of his jacket. “Why did you have to turn to Merric at all? You’ve avoided me for so long; why couldn’t you just come to me?”

  Keryn stopped, forcing Yen to stop and turn toward her. “I wanted to come to you, I truly did, but when I left the bar last night, I saw you. I saw you and Iana walking together. And now today you leave her hotel room. What was I to think?”

  “Nothing happened between me and Iana,” Yen stated firmly.

  “How can I believe that?”

  Yen sighed. “Do you know what Iana and I did last night?”

  Keryn shook her head and stepped away. “I don’t want to hear what you two did. I’d rather not know.”

  “We talked about you,” Yen interjected.

  Keryn froze in place, staring at him with great skepticism. Yen smiled softly at her, trying to put her at ease.

  “I didn’t know that you and Iana were friends when I first met her. I’m not going to say that I went back to her place for an entirely platonic time, but once we were there, I couldn’t go through with it. All I kept thinking about was you. I looked at her, but I saw you. We spent all night long analyzing every single feeling I’ve ever had for you; every single time we’ve spent together. Iana told me I had to find you to tell you how I feel. That’s why I was coming to see you when we ran into each other in the hotel. I finally wanted to tell you that I love you.”

  “You two really didn’t do anything together?” Keryn asked meekly.

  “I promise. My entire evening last night, just like every night before for the past few months, was spent with thoughts of you filling my mind.”

  “I’m such an idiot,” Keryn muttered. Stepping forward, she leaned heavily into Yen’s chest and let him wrap his arms around her comfortingly. He kissed her on top of her head and ran his fingers through her hair.