WARNING!
One in five cell-phone customers will at some point drop their phone in the toilet.
HOW TO CURE A VIDEO GAME ADDICTION
1 Find equivalent pleasures in other areas of life.
Addiction is a neurochemical phenomenon, in which the favored substance or activity activates pleasure centers in the brain. While weaning yourself from video games, approximate gaming sensations by pretending that your daily life is a video game, and that small accomplishments such as “getting dressed” and “eating breakfast” count as “winning a level.”
2 Calculate the amount of time you spend on gaming.
Be honest with yourself. Include time you spend thinking about gaming, shopping for games, talking about gaming, texting about gaming, and e-mailing about gaming.
3 Slowly reduce gaming time.
In one week, cut the amount of daily gaming time from 22 hours a day to 20. After one week, cut it to 15. Continue to cut down until you are gaming less than one hour every day.
4 Have a funeral for your avatar.
Eulogize your avatar: “CaptainWizardFeather147 was a kind and smart pretend person with massive forearms and a gleaming dragon-slaying sword. He will be missed.”
5 Find new, nongaming friends.
Look for friends whose thumbs do not twitch involuntarily when they are not holding controllers.
6 Find healthy activities to replace gaming in your life.
Seek out pursuits to replace the role of gaming, such as sports and social relationships. Experiment with reading books and magazines. Do not read books and magazines about gaming.
WARNING!
Signs of video-game addiction include gaming to escape from anxiety or depression, irritability when unable to game, thinking about gaming when pursuing other activities, and lying to others about the amount of gaming you do.
HOW TO SURVIVE TECH INJURIES
How to Treat Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
1 Stop typing.
As soon as symptoms appear, severely limit the amount of typing you are doing day-to-day.
2 Rest hands for two weeks.
Be careful to avoid any closed-fist motions, such as punching your boss in the face when he says you can’t have sick days for carpal tunnel.
3 Wear a splint.
Construct a rigid splint out of a ruler, gauze, and masking tape. Wear the splint on the wrist of the affected hand to keep the wrist straight during sleep and while doing any necessary typing.
4 Apply cold packs.
If the hand or wrist swells, wrap ice in a plastic baggie and strap it to the affected area for an hour at a time, several times a week.
5 Take over-the-counter pain medication.
6 Do hand yoga.
Several times a day, slowly uncurl the fingers of the affected hand, one by one, and then recurl them one by one into a loose fist.
WARNING!
Symptoms include burning, tingling, and numbness in the hands; note that these symptoms often first appear at night.
Stop using the scroll wheel on your computer mouse. Frequent usage might not cause carpal tunnel, but it will hurt.
How to Treat Eyestrain
1 Limit direct glare.
Light can come from numerous sources: overhead lights, computer screens, and bright light shining through the window.
2 Limit contrast.
Many cases of eyestrain are caused not by glare but by contrast, when you are staring at a dimly lit screen set against a brightly lit background. Dim the lights in the room surrounding your computer.
3 Get elevated.
Position your chair higher up, or stand, so that you are looking down at your computer instead of straight on or from below.
4 Experiment with light settings.
Some people’s eyes function better in bright lights, some in dim. Adjust the lights in your workplace to try out different levels of brightness. Warn your coworkers before you do this.
5 Experiment with viewing distance.
Your goal should be to sit as far away as you can while still being able to read the words on the screen.
How to Avoid Being Hacked
Install a firewall, a trojan scanner, and antivirus software.
Use a less-popular email program—i.e., one that does not come bundled with your computer.
Avoid accessing open Wi-Fi connections, especially in public places.
Don’t open files that you don’t recognize or that are sent from people you don’t know.
Use a different password for every login or account.
Change your passwords frequently.
Turn off “file sharing” and “print sharing” options on your networked computer.
6 Employ the 20 =20 =20 rule.
Every 20 minutes, stop working and look at a point 20 feet away for 20 seconds.
WARNING!
Shifting physical position to avoid glare often leads to new ergonomic problems caused by the new, uncomfortable seating position.
How to Treat Texting or SMS Thumb
1 Rest your thumbs.
Only send messages when there is an emergency that cannot be communicated by a phone call, e-mail, letter, or actual in-person speech.
2 Do thumb exercises.
Hold your right thumb between your left forefinger and index finger; gently pull back on the thumb and hold it for 10 seconds; switch hands and repeat.
3 Soak your thumbs
Dunk each thumb in ice water for 10 minutes at one-hour intervals throughout the day.
4 Splint your thumbs.
At night, keep your thumbs still by making each of them a splint out of half a popsicle stick and some masking tape.
5 Switch digits.
Use your other fingers to type messages.
WARNING!
38 million people report some kind of text-related pain every year.
Ten percent of SMS or text-message users send more than 100 messages a day.
LAW AND ORDER
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HOW TO SURVIVE A NIGHT IN JAIL
1 Request a single.
If you notice an empty cell, ask to be housed there. Do not offer special reasons for wanting a private cell—those factors may work against you if you are later placed in a group cell.
2 Do not show fear.
Fear means weakness in jail. If you cannot stop shaking, pretend you are psychologically unsound: wave your arms around, babble nonsense, and yell at no one in particular.
3 Stay within sight of the guard.
The cell may be monitored in person by a guard or via closed-circuit television. Make sure you remain visible.
4 Do not sleep.
Lying down on a bench or cot gives other inmates the opportunity to claim that you are lying on “their” bunk. Sit on the floor with your back to the wall, preferably in a corner of the cell. Do not remove any clothing to use as a blanket or pillow, or you will risk losing the item to other inmates.
5 Keep to yourself.
Relax hand and roll finger to make a clean print.
Do not start a conversation with anyone, but do not be rude. Answer any questions you are asked, and keep your responses short. Do not talk about the reason for your arrest, as there may be police informants in the cell. Do not make eye contact with other inmates, but do not avert your eyes.
6 Do not accept favors.
Other inmates may offer to help you in various ways, then claim that you “owe” them. Resist the temptation to ask for or accept help.
7 Do not try to escape.
HOW TO TAIL A THIEF
1 Before attempting to follow someone who you believe has stolen from you, try to alter your appearance.
Remove your jacket; remove your shirt, if you are wearing a T-shirt underneath; put on or remove a hat or sunglasses. You do not want the thief to recognize you.
2 Never stare directly at the person you are following.
You can observe the person without b
eing obvious. Never make eye contact.
3 Note the thief’s identifying characteristics (dress, gait, height, and weight).
You will be able to keep track of the thief in a crowd (or after losing sight of him or her) if you are looking for particular details.
4 Stay well behind the person you are following.
Never tail a person by walking right behind him or her. Follow from a distance of at least 40 feet, or from across the street.
5 If the thief goes into a store, do not follow.
Remain outside, looking in the store window, or wait a few doors down for the thief to come out. If the thief does not emerge quickly, check for a back exit.
6 Once you have determined that the thief has arrived at his or her destination, call the authorities.
Confronting thieves alone is risky. Use a phone or ask a store owner to call the police. Describe your target and his or her location.
WARNING!
Wallet thieves and pickpockets often follow a similar pattern: They pass the wallet to another person immediately following the theft in order to throw you off the trail, and that person passes it to another. If you can, follow the initial thief: the thief may no longer be carrying your wallet but might lead you to those who are.
Attack vulnerable areas.
HOW TO SURVIVE A MUGGING
1 Do not resist.
Remain calm and follow the mugger’s instructions. Answer questions slowly, with an even tone of voice. Avoid any hints of sarcasm, irony, or aggression. Do not look directly at the mugger’s face.
2 Attack vulnerable areas.
If you are certain that the mugger means to do you harm, take swift aggressive action.
Thrust your fingers into the mugger’s eyes.
Hold your hand flat and chop sharply at the mugger’s Adam’s apple.
Grab his crotch and squeeze.
Thrust your knee up into his groin.
Swiftly sweep your left foot into his right ankle. At the same time, grasp his left elbow and pull sharply downward. As the mugger begins to totter, lunge forward into his midsection, pushing your attacker to the ground.
3 Use an object as a weapon.
Clench a car key between two fingers and use it to poke or stab. Wield a glass bottle to use as a bludgeon or, if broken, as a knife. Break off a car antenna and use it as a weapon.
4 Flee.
Run as quickly as possible to the closest well-lit area, such as a store or a crowded sidewalk.
WARNING!
Most street criminals want to get what they can and make a quick getaway. There is no possession worth losing your life over.
Do not call attention to any mobile technological device you may be carrying.
Walk in small groups and avoid dim, isolated areas.
HOW TO SURVIVE IDENTITY THEFT
1 Get your cash.
As soon as you realize your identity has been stolen, go to the bank and withdraw as much money as you feel comfortable having in cash. Request that they disallow your accounts ATM access, as identity thieves will work quickly to drain your accounts.
2 Cancel everything.
Call every organization, financial or otherwise, that someone with your identification could access, inform them that your identity has been stolen, and cancel the account. This includes credit card accounts, subscriptions, savings and retirement accounts, library cards, and gym or other memberships.
3 Freeze your credit.
Call the three major credit bureaus and follow the instructions they give you to put a “fraud hold” on your credit. This will make it impossible for anyone to open new credit accounts in your name until you unfreeze it.
4 E-mail everyone you know.
Someone holding baseline identifiers such as driver’s license and Social Security number (or National Insurance number in the UK) has a wide range of access to your online identity. Open a new e-mail account, and e-mail all your friends and business contacts, explaining what happened and instructing them to ignore any e-mails from your old e-mail accounts, especially if they come with requests for money.
5 Monitor your credit.
Request that the credit bureaus send you monthly credit statements, and monitor the statements for any new activity that you did not initiate. Each time a new account appears, contact the issuing organization and formally dispute it. Be alert for any unfamiliar address on your credit statement, which indicates that someone has made large purchases for delivery.
6 Monitor your mailbox.
One sign that a new account has been opened in your name is that your mail suddenly stops coming or dwindles to a trickle. Someone may have placed a phony change-of-address order at the post office.
7 Get a new Social Security number.
By telephone, contact the federal Social Security Administration in the United States for a new Social Security number, or if in the UK, contact the Department for Work and Pensions for a new National Insurance number. Explain your situation, and request a new number. This is a long and time-consuming process, because of strict laws relating to illegal immigration and, ironically, identity theft.
GETTING IN
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HOW TO BREAK DOWN A DOOR
Interior Doors
Give the door a well-placed kick or two to the lock area to break it down.
Running at the door and slamming against it with your shoulder or body is not usually as effective as kicking with your foot. Your foot exerts more force than your shoulder, and you will be able to direct this force toward the area of the locking mechanism more succinctly with your foot.
Alternate Method (if you have a screwdriver)
Look on the front of the doorknob for a small hole or keyhole. Most interior doors have what are called privacy sets. These locks are usually installed in bedroom and bathroom doors and can be locked from the inside when the door is shut, but they have an emergency access hole in the center of the door handle that allows entry to the locking mechanism inside. Insert the screwdriver or probe into the handle and push the locking mechanism, or turn the mechanism to open the lock.
Exterior Doors
If you are trying to break down an exterior door, you will need more force. Exterior doors are of sturdier construction and are designed with security in mind, for obvious reasons. In general, you can expect to see two kinds of latches on outside doors: a passage- or entry-lock set for latching and a deadbolt lock for security. The passage set is used for keeping the door from swinging open and does not lock. The entry-lock set utilizes a dead latch and can be locked before closing the door.
Give the door several well-placed kicks at the point where the lock is mounted.
An exterior door usually takes several tries to break down this way, so keep at it.
Alternate Method (if you have a sturdy piece of steel)
Wrench or pry the lock off the door by inserting the tool between the lock and the door and prying back and forth.
Alternate Method (if you have a screwdriver, hammer, and awl)
Remove the pins from the hinges (if the door opens toward you) and then force the door open from the hinge side.
Get a screwdriver or an awl and a hammer. Place the awl or screwdriver underneath the hinge, with the pointy end touching the end of the bolt or screw. Using the hammer, strike the other end of the awl or screwdriver until the hinge comes out.
Exterior doors are of sturdier construction. Kick at the point where the lock is mounted.
Assessing Amount of Force Required
Interior doors in general are of a lighter construction than exterior doors and usually are thinner—1? inches thick to 15/8 inches thick—than exterior doors, which generally are 13/4 inches thick. In general, older homes will be more likely to have solid wood doors, while newer ones will have the cheaper, hollow core models. Knowing what type of door you are dealing with will help you determine how to break it down. You can usually determine the construction and solidity of a d
oor by tapping on it.
Hollow core. This type is generally used for interior doors, since it provides no insulation or security, and requires minimal force. These doors can often be opened with a screwdriver.
Solid wood. These are usually oak or some other hardwood, and require an average amount of force and a crowbar or other similar tool.
Solid core. These have a softwood inner frame with a laminate on each side and a chipped or shaved wood core, and require an average amount of force and a screwdriver.
Metal clad. These are usually softwood with a thin metal covering, and require average or above-average force and a crowbar.
Hollow metal. These doors are of a heavier-gauge metal that usually has a reinforcing channel around the edges and the lock-mounting area, and are sometimes filled with some type of insulating material. These require maximum force and a crowbar.
HOW TO SNEAK IN LATE TO MEETINGS
Enter quietly.
Remove your shoes outside the door to the conference room. Crack the door and scan the room for an open seat closest to the door. When someone dims the lights to make a multimedia presentation, walk on your toes into the room and hurriedly take your seat. Put your shoes back on before the meeting is over.
Enter tapping your watch.
Hold your watch to your ear to hear if it’s still ticking. Shrug ruefully as you sit down.
Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook Page 24