Broken by Love

by C. A. Harms

  “Kelly, hi... um, I need to ask you something.”

  Chapter Nine

  Kate

  It was one call to Kelly. One call that got my ass hauled off straight to the hospital. She insisted, and I fought her for ten minutes in my kitchen, saying I could take myself, before she turned it over to Zander and Mason. When both of them began to threaten me with calling Carson so he could take me, I gave in.

  We arrived at the hospital, and just as I stepped from the car my water broke. I let my head hang in defeat. I refused to allow any of them to say ‘I told you so.’ I glared at them before the words even left their lips. I hoped the silent warning advised them to not even make an attempt. It really was in their best interest to pretend this was all my idea.

  I was placed in a room, and monitors were stretched out across my belly. I waited for the doctor to come in and examine me. I was surprised when Mason walked over to the side of my bed and sat down on the edge.

  “Hey, uh, I was wondering if you wanted me to call Carson. Zander spoke to Riley, and she’s on her way. I just thought Carson should be here.” I instantly felt guilty, and the tears pooled in my eyes. “Shit, Kate, I didn’t mean to upset you. I was just…”

  I shook my head. “No, you never upset me, Mason. I can’t believe I haven’t called him yet. With everything moving so fast, it all slipped my mind. That’s terrible, I’m awful. I wanted to make sure it was the real thing before, and now I just feel like a bitch for not calling.” The tears ran down my cheeks, and Mason pulled me to his chest. I took in the comfort of his manliness as he rubbed my back.

  “Shh, it’s okay. I’ll call him.” I couldn’t speak, so I just nodded my head. The door came open, and in walked a nurse followed by a doctor. Mason, Kelly, and Zander excused themselves from the room so I could be examined.

  Chapter Ten

  Carson

  Three weeks had passed without Kate. I made several attempts to reach her, but she avoided all contact. It didn’t stop me from trying, though. One thing I completely regretted is that I never told Kate I loved her often. I don’t know why. I guess I just thought she knew, so there wasn’t really a reason to keep repeating it. Yeah, I know, just another fucked up dick move to add to my long list.

  Over the last few weeks I had been busting my ass to clear my head. I’d attempted to clean up my life, and soon it would be time to tell Kate all about those changes. I was going to prove to her how much she meant to me. I needed to make her realize how badly I wanted to fix things for us.

  I heard my phone ringing out in the living room as I stepped from the shower. I had just gotten home from a day of training and testing. I was doing everything I could to get on the force, and today was my final test. I would know in a few days if I made the cut. I would know if I could now consider myself an officer of Tucson Police Department.

  By the time I made it to the living room and grabbed for my phone, I’d missed the call. The fact that I had four missed phone calls and a few unread text messages alarmed me. I hit Mason’s name, and he picked up on the first ring.

  “Dude, where the hell have you been?”

  “I was in the shower. What the hell is going on?” He took a deep breath, and I could hear people talking in the background. “Mason?”

  “You need to come to hospital, bro. You’re about to be a daddy.”

  My heart raced, and my throat became dry. I couldn’t hold back the smile that spread across my face. “Really?”

  “Really, man… now move.”

  I never said goodbye, I just hit end. I scrambled around my house, quickly grabbing a shirt and pulling it over my head. I ran out the door as the adrenaline pumped through me. My heart was in overdrive, and my hands were shaking.

  The drive to the hospital was a blur. I was so high on excitement I honestly didn’t even remember the drive. I ran in through the front entrance and bolted toward the elevators. When the damn things showed they were on the top floor, I said hell with it. I found the stairs and ran the three flights up to the maternity floor.

  The moment I entered the waiting room and found everyone was there, I looked at them all in confusion. “What? Was I the last one called?” I tried not to let myself get pissed off.

  Riley approached me first. “We all just got here, Carson. When you didn’t answer, we started calling around trying to find you, and then that led to everyone showing up.” She rose onto her tiptoes and kissed my cheek before pulling me close. “Get in that room with Kate, where you belong. Be with her because you need each other, Carson. Whether she wants to admit it, she needs you.”

  I pulled back and looked down at her, nodding, before moving past her.

  I stood outside of her room taking in one deep breath after another in an attempt to calm my nerves. I hoped Riley was right. I wanted to be next to Kate. I just hoped she wanted me there too.

  I pushed the door open slowly and took a few steps inside. Kate was lying in the bed with her hair all around her. She looked absolutely beautiful. My chest tightened at the sight of her, and I felt my heart begin to race once again. I closed the door as quietly as possible behind me. Just as I reached the side of her bed, her eyes fluttered open. She blinked up at me and smiled. Damn this girl and her fucking smile that always hits me low in the gut like a sucker punch.

  “Hey, beautiful girl. How ya feeling?”

  “Like I’m floating. They gave me something for the pain. It went pretty fast, actually. The contractions started all at once, and the doctor checked me again about twenty minutes ago. I’m dilated to a six. I just got the epidural, so I think it’s kicking in. The only thing I feel now is the tightness across my stomach when I have a contraction.” She may as well have said it all in Spanish, because I was lost. I think she picked up that I was a bit confused about what it all meant, because she laughed. “I’m fine Carson, and the baby’s good too.”

  I took a seat on the side of the bed next to her. “Sorry I wasn’t here sooner. I, uh…” I paused. I had planned on telling her after I knew for sure, but things change. “I’ve been going through testing for the police department.” I shrugged and looked down at our hands while I played with the tips of her fingers.

  “What?” I didn’t look up right away, but I couldn’t fight the smile on my face at the sound of surprise in her voice. I had talked about this so many times before, but I never took the steps to get there. I just kept trying to live the life of a college student even though I was no longer in college. It took Kate walking out of my life to wake my ass up. “When do you find out?”

  I looked up to meet her radiant smile. She still made my heart flutter. How in the hell could I not have realized before what I had with her? Kate was the best part of me, and I just threw it away. “I should know in a few days.”

  Before we could say anything more, the door opened again. When I saw her mother and sister walk in, I reached out, taking Kate’s hand fully in mine. Her sister was a fire breathing bitch, and she took every chance she could to degrade Kate. Her parents weren’t much better. Nothing Kate did seemed good enough. They placed her sister Kara on such a high pedestal that Kate never measured up in their eyes. They had no idea how special Kate was because they never gave her a chance to show them. It sickened me. My family adored Kate. Why couldn’t they see it? Why couldn’t they see the compassion and heart this girl held?

  “Well, Carson, it’s nice to see you could finally make it,” Kara started off right away. She wasn’t even in the room for ten seconds before her bitchiness sprung forward. I thanked god silently it was me she was mouthing off to, because I wasn’t going to let her start on Kate. “The way it was looking, I thought you were going to miss your own child’s birth.”

  I held my tongue because I knew exactly what she was trying to do. She wanted to make me look like the bad guy, and in turn that would only make Kate look like she once again made poor choices.

  “How are you feeling, honey?” her mother asked from behind me, attempting to sound conc
erned. I had always thought her mom was so fucking fake. This moment only confirmed that notion. She was more worried about appearances than anything else. Having a daughter who was pregnant and unmarried made her look like an incompetent parent.

  “Fine, Mom, thanks. Where’s Dad?”

  Before she could answer, Kara spoke up, sounding smug. “He’s still at the office. We had a long lunch together today, so he got a little behind.” I watched Kate closely for any sign that I needed to remove them from the room. I wasn’t above telling either of them that they had to go.

  “He should be here soon, Kate. He just had a late meeting to finish up with. Then he’s coming right over.” Her mother walked around the side of the bed and glanced between Kate and me before speaking again. “I figured Kara and I would be in here with you through the whole thing. You should have family with you.”

  I tried to contain my anger, but it was boiling deep. Family? Was this fucking lady stoned right now? Just because they shared the same blood as Kate didn’t make them more important. They did nothing but knock Kate down any time they could. I felt my jaw ticking and my shoulders grew tense. “You are planning on coming back home after the baby is born, right? I mean since Carson and you have split up, I think it’s for the best.”

  “Yeah, what kind of environment is a crowded apartment going to be? Looks like you’ll be sponging off Mom and Dad to bail you out of this one.” Kara’s light ‘humph’ sound to finish off her comment threw me over the ledge.

  I stood quickly from the bed and glared at them. “Both of you… outside now.” Kate attempted to sit up, and I looked over at her, holding out my hand. “You rest, baby. I’m going to have a little chat with these two. I will be back.” I paused and turned back to her mother and sister. “Alone.”

  I watched as they continued to stare at Kate, waiting for her to correct me, but it never came. They slowly walked from the room, and I followed closely behind.

  Once the door was closed, I turned to face them. Kate’s mother was the first to speak. “Carson, things aren’t good between Kate and you. I think it’s best if you sit in the waiting area with the rest of your family.”

  I laughed, not the light chuckle I am known for, but a full-on, heavy, bend over and grab your gut laugh. I was convinced now that this lady definitely had to be smoking something. If she actually thought for one minute that I was going to allow them back in that room, she was sadly mistaken. They watched in confusion as I tried to control myself. I shook my head and leaned against the wall next to Kate’s room.

  After a few silent moments, I took my turn. “I’m just gonna tell you one thing, lady. I’m not going anywhere. What is or has gone on between Kate and me, well, that’s none of your damn business.” Kara’s mouth dropped open, and her mom glared. I fought the urge to once again laugh in their faces.

  I pushed off the wall and took a step in their direction. “You both have a choice. You can either wait in the waiting area or leave. But for no reason at all are you going back into that room. The only way you will be allowed in there is if Kate asks you to be.” I gripped the back of my neck and allowed my head to fall forward, shaking it back and forth. I didn’t understand why today these two had to be so fucking selfish. They couldn’t put their own shit aside so Kate could have one drama free moment.

  I blew out a long breath and looked back up to meet their shocked expressions. “I love Kate regardless of what’s going on between us. That will never change. Even if in the end we don’t make it back to each other, both she and my child will always come first. Yeah, I screwed up. I made a mistake, and I let the best thing in my life walk away.” I met her mother’s eyes. “I guarantee you I am going to do everything I can to make this right. I will always take care of Kate, and I will never neglect my child. And I sure as hell will never allow him or her to go without.”

  There was an eerie silence in the hallway as I let everything I said sink in before I turned to face her sister. She rolled her eyes and looked to the floor. Yeah, pretty fucking mature for a Harvard student. “Kara, I have no idea what the hell your problem is with Kate. You’re supposed to have your shit so together, but you sure are one very immature girl. Do you even realize how you’re acting? Today is not about you. This is about Kate and our child. If you can’t leave your jealously and mind games at the door, then I think you should leave.”

  I didn’t give either of them a chance to say anything in return before I pushed back through the door to Kate’s room and left them stunned and speechless.

  Chapter Eleven

  Kate

  Once I heard the door click, a rush of relief washed over me. Carson appeared untouched with no visible claw marks, so maybe it wasn’t as bad as I envisioned.

  “Don’t worry, pretty girl. We’re all on the same page now.” Oh my, and what the hell was that supposed to mean?

  Before I could ask, there was another knock on the door before the doctor stuck her head inside. “It’s time we take a look and see if you have made any progress.” She turned to Carson. “Would you like to stay or step out?”

  “I’m staying.”

  With a nod, my doctor gently lifted the sheet from my legs and had me bend one leg up. With a gentle push, she sat back with a smile on her face. “It looks like we’re about to have a baby, Kate. You’re at a nine.” She stood, pulling off her glove and tossing it into the garbage bin next to the bed. “I’ll let the nurse know to go ahead and start prepping.”

  Now the racing heart and nervousness set off in full force. Carson stepped up to the side of the bed and took my face in his hands. “Baby, it’s gonna be okay. Everything is gonna be okay. We’re about to meet our little one.”

  I nodded. “Riley… I want Riley in here too.”

  Carson asked no questions as he picked up his phone and quickly typed out a message.

  Things really began to move fast, and the fear that took over was overwhelming. I felt my eyes fill with tears as Riley stood at my side rubbing my back.

  “Hey, you, no way. You aren’t allowed to break down. You can do this, Kate. This is a walk in the park compared to your life with Kara.” She laughed, and I smiled in return.

  My eyes met Carson’s, and my heart sank. He seemed to be standing back. It was like he was afraid to approach me, and I hated the feelings that caused. This day was just as much his as it was mine.

  I had no idea where he and I would be with our relationship tomorrow, but that didn’t mean I didn’t love the hell out of him. The biggest problem was I loved him too much, and I wasn’t sure he felt as strongly about me. Sometimes I thought he was only with me because he felt it was the right thing to do after we found out we were expecting.

  His eyes met mine, and the corner of his mouth turned upward. I couldn’t stop myself from returning the smile. “You ready to be a daddy?” His eyes glistened, and he nodded without speaking a word in return. I knew at that moment he was feeling just as emotional as I was.

  “Okay, Kate. It’s time to push.” My doctor took her place in front of me, and I felt Riley squeeze my hand. I immediately reached my hand out, and Carson stepped forward. “Okay, here we go. I need you to push while we count to ten before taking a break. Are you ready?”

  I nodded, and with a one, two, three count I bore down with all the determination I had in me.

  After the third time, I was on the edge of exhaustion and getting frustrated. “Kate, you’re doing great.” I looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes, and I swallowed past the burning sensation that filled my chest. “You got this, babe. You can do this. I’m ready to meet our baby.” I nodded up at him before I took another deep breath.

  After another ten minutes, the most amazing sound filled the room, and I could no longer stop the tears from falling. I wasn’t the only one. Both Riley and Carson stood looking in amazement at the sweetest little bundle being held out before us.

  “You have a daughter,” The doctor announced, and a sound caught my attention to my right. I looked ove
r to find Carson sobbing into his hands. I reached out to pull him close. He placed his hand on my cheek and rested his forehead against mine.

  After a few deep breaths he spoke. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry I didn’t show you how much I love you. You deserved so much better than that. I’m so sorry.” His tears dripped onto my cheeks, and I could feel myself teetering on the edge of an emotional breakdown. “I love you so much, and I pushed you away. I don’t know how to fix us.” Another deep sob escaped him. “I gotta fix us because I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without the two of you.”

  I wasn’t sure what to say. It was so hard not to say I forgave everything he put me through. I loved this man with all my heart, but I had to think about my heart, and it still felt shattered by his actions. I needed to know this wasn’t just because of all the excitement of the moment.

  I felt his lips gently brush mine. He whispered, “I’ll do whatever it takes to make us a family, Kate. Until you and our daughter are home with me, I won’t give up.”

  The doctor’s voice broke through, and we turned to face her as she approached holding our daughter. “I think there is someone who would like to meet you.”

  I took the tiny little bundle of pink into my arms and instantly melted into a pile of goopy goo. Was it really possible to love someone so much in such a short time? This little pile of sweetness owned my damn soul within seconds.

  “She’s beautiful… just like her mommy,” Carson whispered as he hovered over us. He lightly stroked her cheek with his thumb, and she turned her mouth toward his finger.

  “I think she’s hungry, Kate,” Riley said.