Even the Dogs: A Novel

by Jon McGregor

  The pathologist concludes that a number of factors may have caused or contributed to Mr Radcliffe’s death: chronic lung disease, the coronary artery disease, the bleeding from the gullet entering into the lungs, the lack of food and shortness of breath putting pressure on an already overworked heart. He also notes that Mr Radcliffe appears to have stopped drinking in the days prior to his death, and comments that it is known for long-term alcoholics who abruptly stop drinking to suffer epileptic seizure leading to death as a result. However, there is no way of ascertaining whether this has occurred from a post-mortem examination, and so the pathologist is only able to note the possibility.

  This concludes my account of the pathologist’s report.

  Before using these findings as a basis for the answer to our fourth question in court today, I would like to examine the circumstances around Mr Radcliffe’s death a little more closely. I therefore call our second witness this morning.

  All these questions. Why did she ever go back and see her dad that first time. What took her back. What was so wrong with living at home. With her mum. With Paul. It was different though things had changed had they. When they first left Robert they lived with her nan for a while. And she liked her nan. She was close to her nan was she. Kept saying how good it was to have them back. Kept saying she’d always known Robert was trouble and they were much better off now. With her. And even when they moved into their own place her nan gave it all I’ll always be here for you you know that don’t you I’ll always be here. And then Paul. What. Stopping around the place more and more and then he was just there. And then her nan didn’t come round and they didn’t go round there and that was that. Who can you trust. Who can you fucking. And later Paul started going I don’t expect you to call me Dad that’s entirely up to you but I hope you’ll remember who’s been here all these years. And if she’d stayed at home. If she’d gone back to. The way all this came out when they were sitting around in their groups at that rehab place. Hadn’t thought about any of that for years and then. Had she. If she’d gone back to her mum’s. Would she. Was it just that she wanted to know. Was that all. Or did something else. Jesus. Laura sitting in the coroner’s court and all the questions they didn’t. Like. What did your father mean to you. Why did you ever go back to him then. What was it your mum did or didn’t do. And what about Paul. And what took you back to your father’s the second time. Once you’d seen him there and you knew. Did you think you could do something. Did you think you could save him. Or were you just desperate by then. After all the. Some kind of defeat or loss or. After those summers full of friends and fields and music and drugs and days and nights stretched out under boundless skies. Thinking nothing could go wrong. Thinking nothing could touch this. And then long winter nights shivering in a van on threatened sites full of mud and tat and travellers with nowhere left to go. Who’d had all the dreaming beaten out of them in that beanfield and given up on hoping for anything more than the next bag. And they called it a battle. First they came for the miners and then they. Could always get good gear but it wasn’t. She wanted. So what was it then she went trailing back to her dad. Thinking he’d what like come running out to meet her while she was still down the other end of the street or something. Was that what she. When instead he couldn’t hardly remember her name.

  coroner: . . . and you were familiar with the other people who spent time there, and with your father’s daily routine?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: And am I right in understanding that you actually lived in the flat as a child?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: But you moved away with your mother when you were, how old?

  laura: Don’t know. Seven.

  coroner: And you came back to stay with your father more recently?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: How recently, would you say?

  laura: About three years.

  coroner: And as far as you’re aware, your father has lived in that flat for the whole period, since you were a child right up until the time of his death.

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: And do you know why the council housing department are under the impression that they’d evicted your father some years previous to his death?

  laura: Don’t know.

  coroner: Were you aware of any attempt being made to evict him, during the time you were there?

  laura: No.

  coroner: He didn’t talk about it, express any anxiety or concern?

  laura: No.

  coroner: And you wouldn’t say that the level of his drinking had any connection with any potential eviction or financial difficulty?

  laura: Not really, he’d been drinking like that for years anyhow.

  coroner: Would you describe him as a heavy drinker?

  laura: Don’t know. Depends what you call heavy.

  coroner: Well, could you say how much he drank each day, typically?

  laura: Depends how much he could get. One or two bottles, I suppose.

  coroner: Of what?

  laura: Mostly cider.

  coroner: A bottle being how much?

  laura: Big bottles, three-litre bottles, more if they’re on special.

  coroner: Well, I’m not an expert, but I think we can say that between three and six litres of cider a day qualifies as heavy drinking, don’t you?

  laura: (inaudible)

  coroner: Well, I’m just trying to build up a picture of his general health at the time of his death. The toxicology report, as you’ve heard, found a very low level of alcohol in his bloodstream, although from the state of his liver and what you’ve told us he was quite clearly an alcoholic. Do you know why he hadn’t drunk any alcohol prior to his death?

  laura: No.

  coroner: He hadn’t said anything about wanting to stop drinking?

  laura: No, only (inaudible).

  coroner: Only what?

  laura: Only, I mean, he knew about me going to rehab, he found out about it like. I told him, I mean. He might have thought, after that, you know.

  coroner: He might have decided to do some rehab of his own, you mean?

  laura: (inaudible)

  coroner: Well, that would only be supposition.

  Or was it Ben. Climbing in and. What was it. The way he did that pigeon that time it was like he could do any. The way he joined in on Steve when it weren’t nothing to do with. Just for the kicks. Something wrong with that one. Something wrong in the head. Something always about to boil over and. Where did he go. When he said he’d take the food up there. What did he do with. If he didn’t. And when. Where was Ben. Did he do something. Did he go in looking for money or looking for something else. Just for the kicks. Robert looking at him like he was still a boy like he wouldn’t do no harm. Taking the punches like they weren’t no matter. Was it. But Ben wouldn’t chance it on. Robert was sick but he was still a big. Did he. Watching the boy scramble out through the window and laughing and reaching for another drink but there weren’t no drinks there. Or he had one drink left and he kept putting it back. Putting it back in the. Going if Laura can do it so can. I’ll show. Who does she think. All high and mighty moral. When she’s just a. If she can. And a pain somewhere. And coughing and coughing and finding blood in his hands when he was. And coughing more blood. And going to the kitchen sink and watching the blood spew out. Going Christ what’s happening now. The blood on his. And shaking. Fucking. Hands clattering against the bloody sink and just. A pain somewhere. In his shoulder. In his neck. In his chest. Back in the sitting room and just these fucking tremors. Stretching his arms up to give. Reaching for something up above his head. Reaching out his arms going Christ I can’t breathe here what’s going on. Or not even a chance to say that or say nothing at all. Christ what’s going on.

  coroner: . . . need to speak aloud for the tape, Laura, rather than just shaking your head.

  laura: No.

  coroner: Did he eat adequately, as far as you’re aware?

  laura: Yeah. He at
e loads.

  coroner: Did he cook for himself?

  laura: No, he got stuff from the garage, sandwiches and crisps and whatever. Or he got takeaway stuff, chips and pizzas, curries, stuff like that. People got it for him.

  coroner: People bought him food?

  laura: Sometimes, or he gave them the money. It was like in return for letting them use the flat.

  coroner: He gave people money to buy him food?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: They didn’t steal it, or take advantage somehow?

  laura: Sometimes. But if they did they never came back.

  coroner: It sounds as though your father had sufficient money for his needs.

  laura: Yeah. He had a few things going on. (Interruption to proceedings. Late arrival of member of public.)

  court usher: This is Mr Mike Crossley, ma’am.

  coroner: Thank you. If you could take your place, Mr Crossley. Thank you. Now, if we can continue, Laura. Was your father often alone in the flat?

  laura: No. Hardly ever. There was always people around. He liked having people around.

  coroner: And who were these people? Was it always the same group of people?

  laura: (inaudible)

  coroner: I’m sorry, could you repeat that?

  laura: Thing is like, I’m not being funny or nothing but I’ve already said all this to the police. Haven’t you got their report or something? Can’t you just like refer to it and that?

  coroner: Well, as I said before, this is a court of public record, and –

  laura: Yeah, I know but –

  coroner: And we do need to address all these facts in full before we can conclude the inquest. I’m happy to take a break if you’d like, however.

  laura: No, it’s all right, whatever, carry on.

  coroner: Thank you. So, when did you last see your father?

  laura: Before Christmas. A few days before Christmas.

  coroner: And this was the occasion on which you entered the flat by climbing up on to the garage roof and in through the kitchen window?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: And why did you need to enter the flat that way?

  laura: Because he’d bolted the door and couldn’t get out of his chair to come and open it, said he was ill or something.

  coroner: Were you concerned about this?

  laura: Not really. There was always something wrong with him, he was always coughing or puking or falling over or something. Didn’t make much odds if he couldn’t get out of his chair one day. Seen worse, you get me?

  coroner: And there were four of you on this occasion, the last time you saw your father?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: And the other three were?

  laura: Don’t really matter now does it.

  coroner: I’m aware of the unfortunate circumstances of this inquest, Laura, but I would be very grateful if we could get these details on to the public record.

  laura: Yeah right, whatever. (Expletive) It was me and Danny and Mike and Ben.

  coroner: And by Mike I take it you mean Mr Crossley here?

  laura: (inaudible)

  coroner: I’ll note for the tape that you’ve nodded agreement. And at this point I would like to acknowledge the presence of Mr Mike Crossley in the court today. Ordinarily I would expect to call you as a witness, Mr Crossley, but as you were involved in a road traffic accident on the 27th December, and medical evidence supplied to me asserts that you have no recollection of the weeks prior to your accident, or indeed subsequent to it when you in fact spent five weeks in an induced coma, I see little benefit in asking you to testify. I do however thank you for your presence here today, albeit as a latecomer, and your stated willingness to be of assistance. I appreciate that your physical condition hasn’t made it easy for you to attend. Now, Laura, if we could continue.

  We see Mike. And he says Eh now pal I’ll be off now then. I got some things I need to. I got a bus to. And we turn and. We see Mike still talking on his phone. Striding out into the middle of the road. His long coat swinging around his. Going I knew this kid at school and he. If they wanted to get a little closer to the truth the double the. Let me tell you a secret pal I’ve got all sorts up in this. Just so long as you. Road traffic accident is one word for it. More like bosh catch that bus in the face you know what I’m saying pal you know what. Step out in the middle of the road and. Couldn’t even get that right. When it came down to. Going too slow and caught it at an angle. The look on the driver’s face. Woke up all them weeks later giving it all Where am I where am I. Nurses were good but they weren’t actually angels you know what I’m. Weren’t no closer to heaven than before and weren’t no closer to the other place neither. You know what I’m. I’ve like descended to the. And come back to tell. So what am I meant to do now like. What’s the plan now Mikey pal. Got to have a plan. Takes like resourcefulness and. Takes a lot of. He keeps muttering away like this. Over his shoulder. Down Barford Street and through the markets. Over the footbridge and under the underpass and on up the hill towards the playing fields and the flats. Heading back to the flat because where else can he. Going slow. Two crutches and his legs wrapped in bandages. Crying out each time his foot hits the floor. Keeps going though but. Dragging his feet and leaning all his weight on those metal sticks. Keeps turning to look behind him, down near his ankles, like he thinks there’s a dog or a pack of hungry dogs coming after. But there’s nothing. What was he trying to. Did he think he could get out that. Did he think that was a way of getting away from. Couldn’t even get that right and instead he’s here now listening to all these questions and. What does he know. How much does he. Talking on the phone. And his long coat swinging around his. And Laura sitting in the court waiting for all the questions to come to an end.

  coroner: . . . four of you entered the flat by the kitchen window, and stayed there, what, the rest of the day?

  laura: A few hours, I suppose.

  coroner: And what did you do while you were there?

  laura: Stuff. You know.

  coroner: You took drugs?

  laura: (laughter) No comment like.

  coroner: I appreciate that you don’t want to create any problems for yourself, Laura, but it is important that we get a clear picture of what happened that day. It is the last time we know of that anyone saw your father alive. So, let me rephrase the question – were drugs taken in the flat that afternoon?

  laura: Yeah. Suppose.

  coroner: Which drugs?

  laura: Smack. Crack.

  coroner: And did your father take any of these drugs?

  laura: No. He never did. Never wanted to.

  coroner: No, as would appear to be supported by the pathologist’s report. But he had no objection to others taking drugs on the premises?

  laura: No.

  coroner: Now. You’ve said in your statement to the police that when you left the flat it was because your father had asked you to buy some food and some alcohol for him, is that correct? And food for his dog?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: And he gave you the money for this?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: And you’ve said that you went to the petrol station on the city side of the ring road to buy food and drink for him, and for the dog, yes?

  laura: Yeah.

  coroner: All four of you went?

  laura: No, just me and Mike.

  coroner: And the other two?

  laura: They went off to score. To buy drugs.

  coroner: So. You and Mike went to buy the food and drink for your father, but according to your statement, you didn’t immediately deliver it to him.

  laura: (inaudible)

  coroner: I’ll note for the tape that you’ve shaken your head, and take that as a no. You say you were, and I quote, a bit sidetracked.

  laura: (inaudible)

  coroner: Can you tell me what you mean by a bit sidetracked? Did anyone deliberately impede you from delivering the food and drink you�
�d purchased?

  laura: (inaudible)

  coroner: Laura?

  laura: (expletive)

  coroner: Laura, would you prefer to take a short break at this stage?

  laura: (inaudible) No. No one deliberately done nothing. I went off and done some gear and forgot about it for a bit. All right?

  coroner: I see.

  laura: We went off to the garage and bought the stuff, and when we came out Mike just done one, just like scattered up the road. Didn’t say nothing and I weren’t that bothered anyway. He does that sometimes. He’s a bit like unpredictable and that. No offence, Mike. (Inaudible interjection from the court.) I headed back up to the flat, but I bumped into Danny, and he’d just scored, and I was just suddenly desperate for a bit so I told Danny he could come and use my room at the hostel if he split his share of the gear with me. I was going to take the food up to the flat after but I forgot.

  coroner: And did you regularly take drugs in the hostel? It’s not permitted, is it?

  Nothing but questions in that place. In the rehab. Asking questions about way back. About families and. Sitting around in a circle in a room full of books and flipcharts with the breeze blowing through and the beech trees on the long sloping lawn outside. Posters on the wall going all like Today is the first day of the rest of your whatever. Some bloke going Let’s talk about your family now shall we. Are you angry about what happened. Who do you blame do you blame yourself. And what about your mother. How did you feel when her new partner moved in. What was it that made you leave home when you did. All these questions. And sitting there looking at the floor and biting her nails and looking out at the trees and the sloping lawn. Too much to think about. Too much to say. Going How do you think I felt. And the smart bastard going Well, Laura, it’s not about me is it now. Didn’t say nothing that first time. But thinking it over. A lot of time for thinking it over in there. And another day saying I just wanted to see for myself after everything my mum had told me about him. Saying She lied to me about other stuff so I thought she’d been lying about him and about them and about why we left. And another day going I thought he’d make me feel better about myself or something like. And everyone else in the circle mumbling agreement with her. Like they knew anything about. But that’s what it was like. Supportive and that. Patting everyone on the back for going And then he raped me or whatever. When who knew. Looking for answers and that, and the guidance bloke going Mmm I think we’ve made some real progress today. And Laura going When she said her and Paul were going to emigrate and they already had jobs lined up and they wanted me to go with them I was so angry I couldn’t believe it I was so. And someone else in there going What I miss most about the gear what I struggle most with now is I have to think about things I have to remember things. At least before it was all blocked out. I can take the rattles it’s just the dealing with stuff I can’t deal with. And everyone clapping like that was headline news or something. Like a revelation and. Someone else going It’s like when you’re on the gear all your emotions and memories are blocked up it’s like being constipated in a way and after a while it gets more comfortable like that like you don’t even want the shit to come out. And everyone laughing and clapping. And another day Laura going Thing was even though he was in such a state and what my mum had said was true I think I stuck around because at least he was honest and stuff you get me. The others in the circle going Well done, Laura. Looking out at the leaves and the blossom on the trees and the birds on the sloping lawn. A police car coming up the driveway. And then someone asking for her. Someone talking about her dad. And what was he thinking then. Lying on his back with one hand reaching out behind him and the other scrabbling away at the floor. Tell us that. Will you tell us that. Looking up at the ceiling. And did his life. Flash before his eyes and all that or what. What was there to. Sitting in that chair all those. What was he thinking can you tell will you tell.