Seasons of Tomorrow

by Cindy Woodsmall

  “Good thing, because there was lots of that going on.” Landon leaned his head from one side to the other, working out the kinks as his mind meandered to and fro.

  “Do you mind if I ask”—Steven slid the chair to the right, more directly in Landon’s view—“where things are between you and Leah?”

  Landon tapped the ends of his fingers together, taking time to gather his thoughts. His first reaction to that question was to be miffed. He and Leah had landed exactly where Steven and every other Amish person wanted them to. But could he blame anyone for how things had ended for Leah and him? It’d been clear from the start that no Amish person would approve or support their love for each other. Some—like Samuel, Rhoda, Phoebe, Steven, Jacob, and Iva—wouldn’t fight them, but he’d known the majority would silence them. He’d had a view inside the Amish world for too long not to know where everyone stood. The Amish were their own culture, with their own thoughts and values that were completely separate from his viewpoints. He couldn’t blame Steven or anyone else at Orchard Bend Farms for that.

  He interlaced his fingers and stared at his hands. “We’ve agreed to go our separate ways. It stinks, but how I ever thought Leah would really want to leave her roots is beyond me. I guess I looked at all the trouble Rhoda had in her district with a few Amish people being set against her, including that jerk who ripped up her fruit patch, and I got it in my head that it wasn’t worth what it took to live the Plain life. But I didn’t see all the invisible and unbreakable threads that bind Leah to the Amish.”

  “I have to say it sounds like a good, solid decision, Landon.”

  “Not sure we had a choice. She would have to leave, or I’d have to join, and as much as I respect what it takes to live as you do, I simply don’t agree with man—whether that’s church leaders or the rules of the Ordnung—deciding how others should live. I mean, what if your people are missing their calling because it’s outside acceptable Amish vocations?”

  Steven nodded, unperturbed by Landon’s question. “How many of your people are missing their calling because they follow wherever their flesh leads, no boundaries concerning anything, only doing what they want?”

  And there was the dilemma—no guarantee of either lifestyle yielding a good harvest. “I still believe it’s the individual’s responsibility to follow God as he or she believes is right. But we both lose out if we focus only on what separates us.”

  “You’re completely right about that.” Steven scratched his jaw line where his beard was thickest, looking as kind and thoughtful as ever. “I am truly sorry for the hurt you and Leah feel.”

  “I appreciate it. But she needs to find someone who can give her everything—like Rhoda found in Samuel.” Landon had to fight a snort. He had little doubt that Crist would be happy to try to be that person. The thought of it made his heart blister, but at least Crist seemed to be a really good guy.

  Steven ran his fingers over Phoebe’s hand. “Everyone is returning to their normal lives as much as possible. Do you think she’ll miss hearing their voices?”

  “I don’t know, but I could pick up a few recorders and get them mailed with return envelopes. That way people can talk to her, and you can play it for her as often as you need to.”

  “It’s not something Amish do, but this could be the exception. If she can hear anything, I know it’d help her to hear the children talking to her.”

  “Her and them.”

  The children had come to the hospital to be near their dad and to understand where their mom was, but hospital policy didn’t allow them to visit their mom.

  Landon glanced at his watch. He needed more time, but he’d have to make do with what he had. “I’ll run to the store and get a few recorders. When I return with them, we won’t have much time to get the hang of using them before I have to head out. I’ll take one with me to send to those in Maine.”

  Landon had a lot of thoughts on how he could keep the recordings circulating from others to Phoebe. The need was there, and he knew how to do it.

  He just had to find the time to execute it without losing his job.

  Leah walked beside Iva, toting both of their bags as Iva took pictures while they made their way through the Boston train station. She could feel the phone Landon had given her bouncing around in her hidden pocket. It made no sense, but it helped her feel less isolated and alone. “Rhoda and Samuel have been on their own for six days. Think they’ve lost weight?”

  Iva paused, lining up something in her viewfinder. Leah waited while Iva snapped several images. “No, but I imagine they’re tired of pizza.”

  They started walking again, and Leah kept an eye out for Bob Cranford, hoping to remember what he looked like. Rhoda had lived with Bob and Camilla for months, and Samuel knew them well, but Leah remembered seeing Bob only a couple of times. And that was from a distance.

  While she was grateful to be returning to the farm, she couldn’t help but wonder, would it ever carry the sense of freedom it once had? When she’d moved to Maine about twenty months ago, she had set aside her daydreams of leaving the Amish in order to help her family. Now she returned to the same basic situation—here to help in their time of need.

  But this time was different. She understood life and love and herself better. As much as she longed for Landon and would for a very long time, she also felt a little freer. She no longer was torn between his wants and her family’s. He’d tried so hard to assure her the decision was fully hers—and it was—yet she knew what he wanted.

  Now—

  Someone tapped on her shoulder. “Excuse me, miss.”

  Recognizing the voice, Leah dropped the luggage and wheeled around. “Jacob!”

  His open arms welcomed her. “Wow, little sis, that’s quite a bit of excitement coming from you when we saw each other just a week ago.”

  “You came.” She held him tight. “You’re going to the farm, right?”

  He seemed just shy of rolling his eyes. Even so, his face held plenty of disapproval. “Seems so.”

  She didn’t blame him for being frustrated by having to return to the farm after Rhoda and Samuel were married. “You’re the best, Jacob.”

  He turned his attention to Iva, who stood mere feet away, snapping pictures of their reunion. How many pictures had she taken since arriving in Pennsylvania for Rhoda and Samuel’s wedding?

  Iva released her camera, letting it hang from her neck, and nodded to Jacob. “Have you been waiting for us to arrive for the last week?”

  “Nope, I spent a few days in New Hampshire with Sandra and Casey, who send a warm hello, and then I went to Virginia to see a friend.” Jacob picked up their hefty bags.

  Leah grabbed his featherweight bag. “So how did you know when and where to find us?”

  “You said plenty in those numerous texts you sent me, including what day you were arriving at this train station. So who’s picking us up?”

  “Bob. Does anyone know you’re coming?”

  “Not yet.”

  When Leah was young, she admired Jacob as if he hung the moon. Then all his troubles hit, and he had to go into hiding every time she turned around. She had lost a lot of respect for him during that time. Right now, though, she saw a rare and strong man. What made him willing to come back to help Samuel and Rhoda? Had he finally figured out who he was and how he wanted to live? If so, she wanted to know how he’d done it. “How long will you stay?”

  “I don’t know. Long enough and not a day more … provided I can stand it that long.”

  “Look.” Leah pointed. “Isn’t that Bob?”

  The man waved.

  It was so good to be back in Maine, to be reunited with Jacob and Iva. That time with her parents had been more than enough, although she and Iva had enjoyed spending time with Leah’s younger sisters.

  But when would she get a break from the pain of losing Landon?

  Jacob chatted as if his stomach wasn’t in a knot. Had he tricked himself into believing he could live with the newl
yweds for the sake of the family business?

  It’d seemed doable when he was with Esther. She had a way of making life feel new again. The days they’d spent planning Bailey’s outdoor kitchen and shopping for needed items, he’d felt solid. Ready to tackle whatever needed to be done.

  Right now he felt like an idiot.

  Bob slowed the vehicle as he rounded a curve, and the house came into sight.

  Leah poked Jacob’s shoulder. “Won’t it be an extra surprise for Rhoda and Samuel when they see you’re with us?”

  “Extra?” He turned from the front seat to look at his sister. “They don’t know you and Iva are coming in today?”

  “They think we’re arriving tomorrow.”

  Jacob turned to Bob. “Did you mention to them that you were picking up Leah and Iva?”

  Bob turned onto the driveway. “Leah contacted me and said it was a secret.” He put the car into park.

  Jacob’s concern melted when he saw Samuel in the front yard. Jacob squinted. He couldn’t actually be seeing what he thought he saw! He got out and strode toward his brother. Apparently Samuel hadn’t heard the car. He was too focused on grabbing a wet dress out of the laundry basket and putting it on the line.

  Jacob broke into laughter.

  Samuel dropped the dress and turned, eyes wide. “Jacob.”

  “This is priceless.” Jacob pointed from his brother to the laundry basket.

  “Hey.” Samuel’s sheepish grin was worth coming here. “You tease all you want. If she can work in the field beside me all day, I can do laundry.”

  Jacob picked up the dress and held it out on one finger. “Drop something, miss?”

  Samuel laughed and snatched it from him. “Mess with me, and I’ll cook for you.”

  “So she sleeps on your wedding night and has you doing laundry during the honeymoon. My, weren’t you a fine catch?”

  Samuel’s face turned red from laughing. When they were children, they used to tease by finding fault in each other and then saying, “My, won’t you be a fine catch?” Jacob hadn’t thought of that in years, and based on Samuel’s laughter, he hadn’t either.

  A bit more of the ice that still hung in the air between them melted. Jacob stared at the old house. “We’ve traveled ten thousand miles since we met Rhodes, ya?”

  And he realized that he was grateful for every step he’d taken.

  Was it possible that the contentment within him meant he actually looked forward to the next ten thousand miles?

  THIRTY-ONE

  Rhoda stirred from her sleep, feeling Samuel’s arms around her. But the room didn’t feel familiar. Before she could open her eyes, she basked in the joy of being in his arms as he slept. Was there a better feeling in the world than to wake beside one’s best friend? They’d been married for four weeks, and it’d been a beautiful beginning—even in the face of Phoebe’s tragedy.

  Unable to place the room, she opened her eyes. It was daylight, a delicious between Sunday, and with no church today, they could sleep in and move as slowly as they wanted. They were in Phoebe and Steven’s suite. She and Samuel had moved out of her bedroom and into here after Leah, Iva, and Jacob had arrived. At first it seemed irreverent to take over someone’s living quarters while she fought for her life. But the room had a separate bath, and the door off the hallway led into a living room area, so it gave Samuel and Rhoda some much-appreciated privacy. This suite was comparable to living in a separate home—until one went to the shared kitchen.

  She kissed Samuel’s arm and snuggled her face against his biceps. After their late night of talking, she wasn’t surprised when he didn’t stir.

  Despite the windows being open only a couple of inches, Rhoda inhaled the orchard’s sweet aroma riding on crisp air. June had been a long time in coming. Phoebe had been in the hospital for six weeks. The doctors had told them if she lived to June, her chances for survival increased. And even if they had to take the baby as early as tomorrow, he stood a fighting chance of surviving now. Despite this milestone and all their encouragement by taking turns using a recorder and sending the tapes to Steven, the doctor said that Phoebe’s heart seemed worn out from the fight.

  Rhoda closed her eyes for a moment. They wouldn’t slow their prayers or falter in their hope. A feeling of static electricity ran down her arms. It was one of the many feelings that accompanied a sense of intuition, but unlike in the past, it didn’t make her fret or set her imagination into motion. Whatever it was, she’d neither ignore it nor pursue understanding it. Much like the weather of the day, she’d simply adjust to it as needed. She glanced at the clock. Eight-thirty.

  That was quite late for this household. The dogs were probably hungry and maybe wondering where everyone was. They watched the fields at night to keep deer and moose away, and they came to the porch at daylight, wanting to come inside for food and sleep. She smiled and eased from Samuel’s arms.

  She slid her feet into the large red house shoes Camilla had given her. Iva called them her clown shoes, but they were comfortable and warm when she first got out of bed. She grabbed her housecoat, pulling it on as she moved to the window. Unlike her bedroom window, this one looked out over the back of the house, her greenhouses, and the orchard.

  The apple trees’ thick foliage swayed in the breeze, proclaiming health. With the temperature hovering in the low seventies, the late spring days were perfect weather for working. But right now the air pouring in from outside had to be near fifty degrees.

  “Rhoda?” Samuel ran his hand across the bed, searching for her. He took a deep breath, opening his eyes. “Hey.” The sleepy smile on his handsome face was the same one that greeted her each day. Did he know an endearing welcome graced his face every morning when he looked at her?

  The dogs barked, a few familiar let-me-in demands. They’d wait maybe five minutes and bark again.

  “Good morning.” She went to the side of the bed and ran her fingers through his blond hair. “If you can go back to sleep, you should.”

  He reached for her hand and drew it to his lips, kissing it twice before he rose and slid into his pants. He settled the suspenders over his T-shirt. “I’ll deal with the dogs.” He peered down at her, looking pleased. “What’s for breakfast?”

  “Pancakes and bacon.” She’d gotten the hang of cooking a few things, even for supper and dinners. But she had a long way to go yet. Iva, who’d honed her skills under Phoebe, was an encouraging and good teacher.

  A strange jolt ran through Rhoda. Jojo came to mind, and Rhoda had a feeling …“ I … I think Jojo’s on her way here.” She wasn’t sure whether to dress and pin up her hair or head for the door as is.

  A sense of urgency gave her chills, and she ran down the steps and out the front door. Just as she stepped onto the porch, the dogs howled, notifying her someone was here. But where? Rhoda scanned the driveway and saw no one. An overzealous white spruce blocked her view, but was there a car near the mailbox? She hurried down the driveway and spotted Jojo retreating from the mailbox and returning to her car. The woman was wasting no time, and Rhoda was sure she was in a hurry to leave.

  She started running. “Jojo! Wait!” How foolish did she look in a housecoat and clown shoes with her long, braided hair bouncing wildly? “Wait, please.”

  The dogs bristled, barking furiously at Jojo.

  “Ziggy! Zara! No!” Samuel’s strong voice came from behind her as he clapped his hands. “Kumm!”

  The dogs stopped barking and ran toward Samuel, but they paused when they came to Rhoda. She pointed toward the house. “Go.” She turned, seeing Samuel on the porch. The dogs obeyed, and she was sure Samuel would put them inside.

  Jojo opened her car door, ready to get in. “I didn’t mean for anyone to see me.”

  Rhoda could see her seven- or eight-year-old daughter asleep in the backseat of the car. “I’m glad I did. Would you come in?”

  She eased the door shut and left the car idling. “No. I’m leaving … starting over.” The look in
Jojo’s eyes was haunting, so lost and yet so filled with animosity. “It’s taken me two months to see for myself the concerns you shared at the store that day.” She shuddered. “But I see it now.”

  Rhoda wondered what had happened that would shake Jojo like this.

  Jojo looked at her daughter. “I was a fool to put Sophia in harm’s way as he and his wife battle over a marriage he’d told me had died long ago.” Her blue eyes were chilling. “But I would still be blind to it if you hadn’t forced me to look.”

  “Do you know where you’re headed?”

  “Not yet. I’ll know when I get there.”

  “Jojo.” Rhoda couldn’t manage more than a whisper. What was Jojo thinking? More important, how could Rhoda reach past all the voices and panic of Jojo’s childhood and say something that would matter to her?

  Jojo returned to the mailbox and got out the letter she’d apparently put there when Rhoda spotted her. Jojo held it out to her. “You’ve been nice to me, and I didn’t want some cosmic knowledge haunting you again, so I left an explanation rather than just disappearing.”

  Rhoda took the feathery light envelope, and maybe it was the look of desperation in Jojo’s eyes, but Rhoda understood a little more. “I know you feel there is no other choice than running. There’s an alarm inside you, warning you to flee while you still have a chance.” She paused, trying to piece together her limited understanding with what she’d been reading about survivors of child abuse. “That warning saved you from beatings as a child, helped you know what to do and where to hide, didn’t it?”

  The hint of tenderness Rhoda had seen on Jojo’s face as she passed her the letter turned stone hard, but she nodded. Chills flooded Rhoda’s skin as she felt some of the terror and knew some of the thoughts Jojo had dealt with most of her life. All the confusing, misguided messages and feelings Rhoda had sensed about Jojo and Sophia since moving here—strong danger, abandonment, and a need to flee—were only partially true. The rest was God allowing Rhoda to sense the misery and unrest inside the adult heart of a once-abused child. The depth of pain and anxiety … the inability to trust … the fear of people warring with the need for people … the moments of feeling good about oneself being buried under an avalanche of horrible memories, self-loathing, and doubt. As the realizations battered Rhoda, she could’ve crumbled right there under the weight of it.