by Tamara White
I must be hallucinating, this can’t be real.
Chapter 12
Evie
Damn, stupid, irritating, full of themselves, boys. I wish none of this had ever happened. I sigh and slump down on the couch rubbing my belly.
That’s not true. I couldn’t bear the thought of not knowing them. Each one of them has given me something important in my life, and without them, who knows what would have happened to me.
I stare at the window for who knows how long, when I feel the emotions bleeding through the bond, making me gasp in pain.
He’s hurting so much. He loves me, but feels as if I don’t feel anything for him at all. I walk through the house looking for him, intending to talk to him when I run into my grandfather, Zeke, and Zach standing at the kitchen door.
I approach them and I see him outside ranting at the others while they all look ashamed. What’s going on?
“Grandpa, what’s happening?” I ask causing them all to jump.
I giggle over making them jump. It’s rare these days that I actually get to sneak up on them.
“Nothing, Christian is just sorting some stuff out,” he says turning back, watching. I can’t hear from here, but I can feel his despair and I hate it.
No one should feel that alone. Not after everything he’s been through.
I walk out the door, refusing to listen to the others’ objections, and walk around the house to try and hear what he’s saying without interrupting.
Once I’m within hearing distance, I sit down and listen, watching their reactions. When he starts talking about what I want, the tears fall. I thought none of them could tell what I wanted, or they just didn’t care, but Christian has been listening the whole time.
He tells them everything, leaving me feeling bare, but at the same time a weight lifts. I’m not angry he told them, I’m relieved. Everything he says is true, but I’ve been too afraid to tell them in case it upsets them.
When he tells them about nearly losing the babies, I feel so guilty seeing his sorrow. How could I be so stupid? He loves me and the babies as if we were his own. The thought of losing them tore him apart. Why did I not see it sooner? I knew he cared, but I thought the bond was a pointless tie, making us feel this way. I’ve kept most of my feelings for each of them buried as far down as I can to stop the others from freaking out over how much I cared about them.
I watch as he bows his head and feel his defeat flowing through the bond. He needs to know how I feel.
The others watch me, and when he hears me utter the words I’ve been holding back, he gasps jerking his head up to look me in the eyes as he turns to face me.
“From the moment I met you, I knew you were going to be bonded to me. It wasn’t just me feeling the bond itself, it was me knowing instantly you were the type of person I wanted to be with. Since meeting the others, I thought the bond was forced feelings and didn’t understand why I felt so much for you so soon.
The last few days made me realize why. It’s just you being you. You make me laugh, you are kind, and you love me.
Even after everything you’ve been through with Josie, I thought it would take years for you to develop any kind of feelings for me, so I hid my own. It’s hard enough knowing I’m bonded to more than one person, especially being so new to this world, but I finally see what you mean. I’ve felt the bond between us, and there’s nothing holding it back except my feelings. So, I think it’s time I change that.”
I reach for him and pull him to me, sighing when his hands grab my stomach to steady me. I kiss him and let all my buried feelings out. There’s a moment of hesitation when Christian pauses in kissing me, then he kisses me fiercely, a feeling of love flowing back through the bond. Pulling back, I smile up at him shyly, hoping he’s ok now. I can’t stand his pain.
“You really love me?” he whispers, somewhat shocked at what just happened.
I smirk at him before pulling him back for another quick kiss.
“Of course I do, you ninny. I’m sorry I haven’t exactly broadcasted it, but it’s still new to me. I didn’t want to scare you away by telling you to soon. I know the others weren’t scared of how soon it happened, but, again, I thought it was all part of the bond.”
“Oh you sweet, sweet girl. I know what you’ve been through, but you have to trust your bonds. It’s going to be hard after everything you’ve been through. If you don’t trust me, if you don’t trust us,” he pauses, gesturing over to the guys where Zach and Zeke have joined them, “You’ll never be happy. We want to love you and be happy. If you fight it, it will never happen.”
He’s right. I look over to the others and realize I can’t keep doing this. They need to know when something is hurting me, I can’t hide myself from them anymore. They take me as is, or they can run away. I doubt they’ll run, but it is better if they run knowing the whole package rather than love someone who hides most of herself away from being hurt.
“Your right,” I sigh. “I haven’t been very forthcoming mainly because I’m afraid, but I promise to let myself try. I can’t promise it will happen right away. For now, I’ve torn away the barrier hiding my feelings. It’s all out in the open now.”
Mike
Everything Christian said shocked us to the core, but feeling all the emotions that Evie unloaded on us, was amazing. Her heart is so big and she cares about us all in a unique way. Even Zeke and Zach hold a place in her heart, and in this moment, right now, I vow to do better.
I’ll spend the rest of my life making her feel the love I have for her. She shouldn’t have been left to feel that alone and deal with the possibility of losing the babies by herself. She kept it from us because she didn’t want to scare us, but we should have been right by her side helping her through it.
I feel as if we’ve failed her. Christian is right about the bonds though. We all know how it works, and we know how much goes into the bond being maintained, but none of us have really stuck to it. I’m surprised Evie isn’t suffering from migraines just being apart from us.
Some bonded won’t get sick with separation but it’s more common in the bonds with multiple partners. I think because we thought she was human, we’ve forgotten just what can happen. She’s just as much elemental as she is fallen angel, and angel, but I don’t know much about each of those.
We should really talk to Raphael or Spencer about what the effect it has on us as her bonded, and the effects it will have on her versus if she was a normal elemental.
I think we’ll wait until we talk to them first, though, because I don’t want to be the one to say she’s different from us with how emotional she’s been. I’m not going to be the one to trigger the next snap.
Kylan
I’m sure every one of us is feeling like a bad partner right now. Once we heard what Evie had been keeping from us, my stomach dropped.
I was jealous that she had a bond strong enough that Christian didn’t even try with her but also angry that he didn’t tell us before now.
If he had told us she was suffering, we would have been there straight away and refused to leave her side. The only reason we left her alone was she begged us to, and we didn’t want to disrespect her wishes so we followed through. Now, I’m wishing we had ignored her and just kept pushing until we talked it all out.
“You guys, I’m tired,” Evie says through a yawn, swaying on her feet.
Christian steadies her, but I step forward and pick her up, carrying her to the house.
“What are you doing?” she asks me softly as I walk through the house, the others all following me to the lounge.
“I’m bringing you in out of the cold. Evie, I’m sorry for what I said before. I swear I didn’t mean it the way I sounded. We’re happy to talk to you about it,” I say hoping she won’t rip into me.
Sitting down carefully, I keep her in my arms, and the others all take a seat around us, apart from Raphael who seems to have disappeared sometime along the way back in. I saw him when I came in, but he m
ust have stayed behind to give us alone time.
“Oh, my prince, I know. I’m just tired and grumpy. I think I’ve been holding a lot back, and the mix of things just got to me. I trust you to know what’s best for me, but I’d appreciate if next time something that concerns me needs to be decided, you talk to me first. I want to be able to help and not feel like I’m irrelevant,” she says looking up at me.
Sighing I place a kiss on the top of her head, “Ok, I promise we won’t do anything without talking it through first.”
“Thank you.”
“Do you want to talk about it now or would you like to go to bed?” I ask her while Teddy and Mike sit on either side of us.
“Yeah, I guess I need to know. Please tell me no one is going to be outside the school like a crazy person, right?”
We all laugh as she cringes from the thought of one of us watching her outside the school.
“No. No one will be outside the school. Dane, Teddy, Mike, Zach, and I, will all be coming to school with you as you know. Zeke and Christian are going to stay behind and pack up our stuff since the school wouldn’t believe they were students. Everyone will be going to their regular classes, while Zach will be with you for every class. Raphael talked to your principal and he’s told him that Zach is your midwife. Basically, he knows you’ll be with him everywhere you go and a lot of that is so we can protect you. We’ll be inside the school. If a demon comes into the school, we need you to be protected. We don’t want you taken again.
Once we’ve done all of our tests, we’ll follow you on the last day of school to each of our classes and watch over you while you do the last tests then we can leave. After that the principal has agreed to post out your records so we can use them if you want to apply to college.”
“Ok I guess you thought of everything,” she says with a yawn.
“Princess, please go to bed. You’re exhausted,” I gently chide her.
It’s obvious how tired she is, her eyes are barely staying open.
“Can I sleep with you tonight? I’ve missed you.”
My heart skips a beat, and I look around at the others before responding. I don’t want to put anyone else out.
“It’s ok, we’ll all share the beds and pull out the blow-up mattress for Raphael. You go take care of our girl,” Dane says with a soft smile.
I feel his relief that she’s choosing to have one of us with her now, and the others are all a lot less tense. Not being able to be with her has been a nightmare for all of us, but at least now she feels like being around us.
“Come on, princess, we’ll go have a shower and go to bed,” I say lifting her in my arms.
Before we leave the room, everyone gives her a soft kiss and a quick hug goodnight. She visibly relaxes and I feel the tension leave her. Looks like we weren’t the only ones feeling the separation.
We get upstairs and she’s still barely awake, so I take her straight into the bathroom sitting her on the counter.
“I’ll get the shower running then go grab us some towels. You can hop in first, then I’ll have a quick shower after you,” I say reaching in and adjusting the temperature. Christian warned me before coming up not to have it too hot because her body will be more sensitive to it.
“Why do we have to shower separately? You can hop in with me,” she says, with a small smile.
Damn, she has no idea the effect she has on me. The thought of being in the shower with her is too hard to refuse.
“Ok I’ll hop in with you when I get back. Now get in there and let the water do its job.”
I almost bolt out the door as she undresses in front of me.
Once I have the towels in my arms, I close the linen cupboard and sink to the floor. The image of Evie undressing is burned into my mind, and I feel like an absolute pig.
Our pregnant bonded is tired and trusts me to help her get ready for bed, but all I want to do is touch her. I know Christian told us it was ok to be intimate with her, but no sex in case it causes a problem with her cervix, whatever the hell that is.
I’m totally going to have to get an anatomy book to figure out what some of this mumbo jumbo is that he tells us about. I’m sure the others know more than me. Just because I love sex doesn’t mean I’ve made it my mission to know what each internal part is.
I sigh and gather myself hoping I don’t fail her when she needs me most. Seeing her naked after so long and not touching her is going to be one of the biggest temptations I’ll ever face.
Undressing quickly, I join Evie and try to ignore the soft sounds she’s making. This is unbelievable. Someone up there really wants to punish me.
“Evie, you ok?”
“Hmm, yeah, it just feels really good,” she says sighing and moaning softly. “Are you coming in or going to stand at the door all night?”
I step in and join her under the spray of the water. I press my chest to her back, wrapping my arms around her, placing my head on her shoulder and feel some of the tension in the last few weeks drain right out of me.
“I’ve missed you so much,” she says, moving my hands over her belly.
I feel the babies kick and I chuckle at their behaviour. It’s surreal knowing soon we’ll be holding babies in our arms and know who the fathers are.
“We missed you too. We’ll never let you go again. No one is taking you, or our babies, from us ever again,” I declare, hoping she knows we won’t let anyone touch her.
“I know. It’s just bad luck that I’ve been taken twice. Can I tell you something? It’s killing me not telling you, and I don’t think I can keep it to myself any longer,” she turns to face me.
Whatever it is, must be important because her eyes hold tears, but the smile on her face contradicts her crying.
“You can tell me anything,” I tell her sincerely.
She pulls one hand from her side and places it directly over the top of her belly. I watch her through the water and I feel her love flowing to me through the bond.
“One of these babies is yours.”
My whole word stops. I watch her for any sign that she’s pretending, but the tears in her eyes and the smile on her face are all I need to see to know she’s not lying.
“I can’t believe it,” I gasp dropping to my knees in the water and placing my lips to her stomach. I look up when I feel her hands running through my hair. She’s smiling down at me with a watery smile but, in this moment, I know she’s my whole world. I will do everything to protect her and our child.
“I will love you more than any man has ever loved a woman. I will love our child until the day my spirit is well and truly gone. Any love I have will go to the two of you for as long as I have any love to give.”
I kiss her belly gently then rise up to kiss her with all the passion and love I feel. She responds, kissing me back, and I pull her closer until we’re touching as much as possible.
We kiss for a minute before I feel her hand running down my side and grabbing my cock and squeezing. Oh god, she has got to be kidding. It’s hard enough being near her without wanting to take her, but this is too much.
I kiss her and reach down touching her as gently as I can. The last thing I want is to hurt her.
“I can feel your worry, Ky. I swear I won’t break. Please touch me,” she says, pulling back and looking into my eyes.
I watch her for any sign of pain as I reach down and take her nipple into my mouth. I flick my tongue over her nipple making her moan and throw her head back in delight. Sweet lord have mercy on me. I have to stop before this escalates too far.
“We can’t. I’m sorry princess, I don’t want to hurt the babies,” It’s painful watching as her face falls.
I feel like a total jerk, but the others will probably kill me if I do anything with her to trigger the babies.
We finish up washing ourselves, but I can tell Evie has withdrawn into herself.
‘Hey Christian, quick question? How bad would it be if Evie and I did stuff? I know you said no sex but is ther
e any exceptions to the rule?’
God, how I hate asking for advice from one of the others, but Evie’s feeling rejected because of the pregnancy, and I don’t want her to feel that way.
‘Well, it depends. If you’re slow and gentle with her, intercourse should be safe and cause no risk to her or the babies. You can do any foreplay, that should be fine, it’s just intercourse that needs to be gentle. The only thing would be if she starts cramping, stop.’
‘Thanks, man. Sorry to ask but yeah kinda had no one else that knows about this subject.’
I hear Christian’s laughter echo through my mind and smile at it. He’s become pretty close to us in the short time we’ve known him.
‘It’s fine. Lucky you asked, honestly, but I think I’ll do up a flow chart for the others,’ he says before blocking me out again.
At least now I know what is acceptable. That flow chart actually sounds like a pretty good idea.
Evie walks into our room, towel wrapped around her, but her mind must be far away because she doesn’t hear me close the door or call her name. She looks so lost.
I drop my towel and decide screw it. She needs to know I don’t feel that she’s unattractive now that she’s pregnant.
I walk straight up to her and pick her up causing a squeal of shock, but she doesn’t get a chance to say anything before I’m lowering her on the bed, kissing her with all my feelings flowing through our bond. She gasps and pushes me away to look into my eyes.
Whatever she’s looking for, she finds because she pulls me back with a frenzy, reaching up and gripping my hair. I position myself at her entrance and groan when I feel how wet she is. She’s stopped moving, and now we stare at each other while I push inside her. She watches me while I push inside until I’m buried as far as I can go. I wait for her to settle around me before moving and kissing her.
We find a rhythm together, and, soon, we’re both close to climax. I slow down enough to look into her eyes. I want to see her fall apart underneath me.