We sat back on the couch and watched a movie that had us both crying by the end. The front door opened, and James came running into the living room.
“We brought dinner,” he yelled. “We got pizza.”
“That's my favorite,” I said through my tears.
Scott came into the room and stopped frozen. Carrie looked up and smiled as she wiped her hand across her face.
“A movie,” she said.
He started laughing and walked into the kitchen with the bags in his hands.
The rest of the night flew by. We watched a cartoon with James. It was the same one we'd watched at Carrie's parents' house when we helped move her. All I could think about was Lance watching the screen like he was hanging on everything that happened. I looked around the room and thought about what he'd said in that last message about the people who mattered and tears filled my eyes.
“He'll be okay, Aunt Lucy,” James said, as he scooted close to me.
“I know, baby,” I said.
Carrie looked over at me, and I nodded that I was fine. Then I excused myself and went to bed. I'd only known the man eight weeks. Why did it feel like he should have been there, I wondered? I looked at my phone, and there was still no message from him. I pulled up his contact information and decided to change his name. We hadn't known each other long, and I still thought of him as Hotshot, but I knew I needed to do something. It almost felt like the person I'd been those last five years was slipping away from me. I knew I needed to work to keep her, I was just finding it harder and harder to do. I changed Hotshot to baby daddy and burst into laughter before changing it to Lance. It was just a simple change in my phone, but to me it was something completely different.
I thought about his last text and read it again. Was he trying to make me feel guilty? Did he really care? Was he hurt that I'd left? I knew none of it was real. I was just a quick fuck when he had some spare time, but I couldn't help feeling bad for leaving without a word. I fought myself for a few minutes before sending a text.
Me: I'm sorry.
It was simple and to the point. It was also something I rarely said. I looked up at the ceiling and waited. When I fell asleep, there had been no response. When I opened my eyes the following morning, there was still nothing. I let Carrie and her mom know I was leaving around lunchtime to go home. Carrie's mom insisted we go to her house for lunch, so we did. She'd done so much for me already, and I wanted to see her again before going home.
When we got there, the house smelled amazing the moment the door opened. She'd made a roast with potatoes and carrots. It had to have been cooking for hours. My stomach instantly growled. She handed me a box as soon as I walked in and told me to put it in my car. When she whispered in my ear that I wasn't to open it until after my appointment, I turned and smiled at her.
We ate lunch at the dining room table before moving out to the living room to relax. I leaned back against my chair and rubbed my belly.
“That food was so good,” I said. “I don't know how I'm going to drive home this full.”
Carrie's mom handed me the recipe with a smile.
“I'm definitely making this,” I said.
“For Lance,” Carrie's dad joked. “Are you coming with him next week?”
“What?” I asked, as I looked over at Carrie and then at Scott. I didn't miss the look the two of them exchanged with each other.
“Next week,” her dad said, as if everyone already knew. “Pittsburgh is playing Detroit. We're going to the game. He got Scott, Carrie, and me great seats. Momma over here is keeping James home with her. We're going to take him next season.”
“No,” I said with my usual smile. “I'm not coming. I hope you have a great time though. Scott better step up and introduce you to the rest of the Pirates.”
I hadn't been invited to the game. I didn't even know about it. Why would Lance take me anyway? It was just one more reason for me to realize I was making the right decisions when it came to him.
Just as I was getting ready to leave, Scott asked me to go outside to talk. I followed him out without saying a word to anyone. The door closed behind us, and I looked him in the eye.
“I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said.
“She has the biggest fucking mouth,” I snapped and turned to walk away. “I need to go.”
He reached out and grabbed my arm to turn me back to him.
“She didn't say a word. She doesn't know I know. You two weren't exactly quiet last night. This is between you and me. I want you to know we are here for you, Lucy.”
“I don't need anything from anyone,” I said.
“Stop,” he barked out.
I was honestly surprised.
“I don't need to hear how bad ass you are right now. Do you hear me? You are Carrie's best friend, and you've kind of grown on me too. You took care of her when I wasn't there for her. You helped her with my boy too. I know how much you mean to each other. I am going to tell you this without you telling me that you are going to take on the world alone. Knock off the shit and listen.”
I seriously stood silent not knowing what to say.
“Lance is my friend, but he can be a dick. You both say you don't care about each other. Neither of you wants a relationship. I get the whole thing. I want you to know that we are here for you no matter what you need and when you need it. If you don't feel good and need a day off or if you need time for an appointment, take it. You will be paid no matter what. I don't care if you need a week off, take it. I know that you are planning to stay in Pennsylvania. I'm not sure why, but that is none of my business. I want to let you know that you are welcome to move here if you want. You can stay in my house. It's paid for, and we aren't using it. If for some reason you decide you can leave Pennsylvania and come to Michigan, you can work for the company here. I just want you to know that. I mean what I said. I don't give a shit if it is two in the morning and you need something, call Carrie or me and we will be there.”
“He doesn't know, Scott. I haven't even been to the doctor yet. That happens Monday. Once I go and they tell me for sure, then I'll figure out what I'm going to do. Millions of women in the world are single moms. I'll be just fine,” I said. “Thank you very much for offering. I might have to take a bit of time off, but I'm fine using vacation days. I do not need special treatment.”
“Not everything has to be done alone, Lucy,” he said.
“For me it does, Scott.”
“I won't say anything to him. I promise you that,” he said. “Take Monday off at least. That way you have the rest of the day to yourself after your appointment.”
“Thank you,” I said. “That is very important to me. When I tell him, it has to be when I'm ready. Please don't let my relationship with him impact yours at all. This is all mine. It has nothing to do with him. Sure, he will have a decision to make, but that will have nothing to do with me. It will only be about him. For now, I'm going to stay there. If I do want to move to Michigan, I might have to rent your place for a bit.”
“We would love to have you,” he said, as he pulled me into a hug. “Congratulations, Momma.”
“Thank you,” I said. “Might as well tell your wife you know. Just keep it down. You wouldn't have wanted to find out from anyone but her, and no matter how he reacts, it needs to come from me.”
“Definitely,” he said.
We walked back into the house. Then I said goodbye to everyone and was on my way. I checked my phone before pulling out of the driveway. There was still no response from Lance. I'm not sure why I expected any different. He was probably busy, and I wouldn't blame him if he was just ignoring me.
Chapter 6
Lance
I didn't leave my hotel room one time that weekend. Room service or delivery had been my best friends for years, and I abused the shit out them that weekend. When I opened my eyes Monday morning, I looked around the room. It was a disaster. I hadn't let anyone come in to clean and there were food containers and drink
cups everywhere. I felt bad for the person that would have to clean up after me.
The entire weekend, I watched television, read, and slept. She came into my mind over and over, and each time I tried my best to push her out. That wasn't my life. It really wasn't. I was not a one woman man. She was the last woman I'd want be with if I was, I thought.
I got up and got ready for practice. It wasn't far from the hotel. I looked around the room again and had a crazy thought. It was a place I spent more time in than my own home. Sure I'd been around more because of Scott's company and Lucy, but it was close to practice. For the price I was paying for a room that often, why hadn't I just bought a house close by? My house was two hours away, and I loved it. I really did. I wouldn't want to sell it. If I had two houses, it would be a lot to take on. It was something I was really considering though. I was sick of sleeping in a damn hotel room, but it was easy to come and go. It was something to think about though. Lucy would laugh if she knew what I was thinking in that moment. She'd say getting a house was cheaper. I couldn't help but laugh at the look on her face when she walked into the hotel room. I looked over at the spot she stood in with a smile. That woman was something else.
When I pulled into practice, I turned my phone on. It was the first time since I'd shut it off Friday night. There were a ton of messages.
Scott: Where the fuck are you? You never have your phone off. I was trying to call you back. I didn't mean to hang up, I needed to take care of something. Just so you know, Carrie's dad told Lucy about the game.
What did he care where I was? He really pissed me off before hanging up that night. Who did he think he was to tell me what I needed to do when it came to Lucy? He wasn't her keeper, and he needed to knock his shit off before we came to blows over it. If she were my woman, I wouldn't put up with that shit. Wait a second. I've already said that wasn't something I wanted. I was simply saying I wouldn't put up with his attitude. He was lucky I didn't care about her. What did it matter that Lucy knew they were going to a game with me. I'd asked her to go, and she ended up backing out. It made sense I guess. She was pissed about the things I'd said, but it didn't change the fact that she wouldn't have wanted to go anyway. Scott did tell me she was watching a game though. Of course it was in secret. She wouldn't admit it if I asked her. I sent back a reply.
Me: I'm fine. I needed some time without the damn phone. It's fine that she knows. Her ass wouldn't have gone if I asked her. Doesn't matter anyway. We're done. I'm sure that makes you so happy.
There was a text from Carrie as well.
Carrie: How you doing? How was your time away? You played some great games. I can't wait to watch you play next week. Thanks for getting us tickets.
Me: I'm good. It was fine. It was a very long two weeks. I was glad to be home, but that got fucked up. No problem. I can't wait to see you guys too.
One of the guys came up and knocked on my window.
“Get your ass moving,” he said. “I've got shit to do today. We need to get done early.”
I grabbed my bag and got out of the car. I opened Lucy's message on the way.
Firecracker: I'm sorry.
I read those two words over and over until I got to my locker. That wasn't easy for her. I knew it wasn't. Those words had only come out of her mouth when she'd meant them. She sent the text Friday night. It wasn't long after I talked to Scott. I instantly felt like such an asshole. I knew that was hard for her, and I blew it off. It was the only message she sent. I knew if I didn't respond I'd never hear from her again. She wouldn't chase me. Would she even care, I wasn't sure. Lucy was not an easy person to read. She said she didn't give a shit and told me to move on to someone else. I'd said the same thing to Scott really. I'd said I didn't care about her, but she was in my mind all the time. While I was gone those two weeks, I'd wanted to talk to her so many times about the stupidest shit. I wanted to see her so badly. When I couldn't find her, I was pissed and worried.
I stood at my locker with two choices. I could put the phone away and move on from her, or I could send a response and let her know I wasn't giving up that easily.
When the coach yelled out, I put the phone away and closed the door.
Practice seemed to drag on. She was all I could think about. I thought about the moments we'd spent together, the good and the bad ones. Even when she was being a total pain in my ass, I still liked spending time with her. It was crazy. She could have me laughing, furious, and horny as can be all in the same hour. I'd never met anyone like her before. There was more to her than she let me see. I couldn't help but wonder if Carrie and Scott saw the parts I didn't. I knew I didn't want a relationship, but I wasn't ready for our fun to be over. Needless to say, I did not practice well and the coach rode my ass. He went on and on about how I'd better get my head on straight before we played Detroit since that was our next game.
As soon as I opened my locker, I grabbed the phone and sent a message. I totally felt like a pussy, and I didn't care.
Me: I'm sorry too. I was worried about you. Can we talk? I know you're at work. What are you doing after?
It was still early in the day. Our asses had practiced super early that day. Most of the guys wanted time at home. We were going to be gone on and off for a few weeks, so they wanted every moment they could have before then.
I was changed and in my car before my phone buzzed.
Firecracker: I'm not at work today. Scott gave me the day off. I have plans though. Maybe later.
There was Scott saving the day again, Fucker. What plans could she have that couldn't be changed? She was putting me off. I couldn't blame her, could I? I wasn't a man that chased women, and she knew it. What could she really have to do that was that important?
Me: What do you have to do? What about after?
I knew she was calling me a pussy in her mind as she read it. I was thinking the same thing. Was it really worth it?
Firecracker: No personal details, remember? I bet you had a good weekend. I'm happy for you, Lance.
Shit, I thought. She thought I was with someone over the weekend since I hadn't answered her. That made sense. She knew my reputation, so I guess that's what I would have thought too. Her using my name in that text felt like a curse word to me.
Me: I really want to talk.
Firecracker: I'm busy today. You need to stop thinking that I have nothing better to do than to wait for you to feel like talking or fucking. You're not the only one that has a life and important things going on.
I put my phone down and thought about her words as I started my car and pulled out of the lot. She had a point. I hadn't talked to her for almost two weeks. Then I showed up on her doorstep expecting her to welcome me in with open arms. I again didn't talk to her the rest of the weekend and expected to talk to her the moment I contacted her. That was what I was used to. I was busy. She knew that. All the women I had been with knew that. Why was she making it complicated? Why did I even care? Why was I on my way to her apartment, knowing she didn't want me there?
Chapter 7
Lucy
I was in bed, staring up at the ceiling, and he was all I could think about. My appointment wasn't far away. I was going to find out the truth. Was the positive test correct? Part of me was so afraid to find out it was wrong. Yes, I was afraid. I'd already gotten used to the idea of being a mom. I was nervous and completely lost, but I was excited as well. Babies were beautiful, amazing, and innocent. James was so much fun when I was around him. I knew it wasn't all fun and games, but the more I thought about it, the more I loved the little one growing inside of me. I was going to be the best mom I could be. My mom sucked at her job, and I was going to do the exact opposite. My baby was my number one priority. He or she always would be, I'd make sure of that.
When my phone buzzed, it startled me from my thoughts. I figured it was either Carrie or her mom. I picked it up and was surprised.
Lance: I'm sorry too. I was worried about you. Can we talk? I know you're at work. What are you d
oing after?
It was still strange seeing his real name pop up. I couldn't believe he'd said he was sorry too. That was a shocker to me. What did he want to talk about, I wondered? Scott better not have said anything. I would have been so pissed if he had. Lance wanted to know what I was doing after work, so I knew Scott couldn't have said that much.
Me: I'm not at work today. Scott gave me the day off. I have plans though. Maybe later.
I couldn't have him thinking he could blow me off and come back around whenever he felt like it. There was too much going on for me. He would only make it worse. I had some decisions to make. The first thing I had to do was find out what exactly I needed to think about. He couldn't enter my mind until I'd made up my mind.
Lance: What do you have to do? What about after?
The man was seriously pushy. He was obviously used to getting his way. I already knew that. I wasn't like the rest of them. If he hadn't figured it out, he needed to. Would he even want to talk to me anymore after I told what I possibly had to tell him? Probably not.
Me: No personal details, remember? I bet you had a good weekend. I'm happy for you, Lance.
He hadn't answered my message from Friday until Monday morning. His weekend was probably pretty exciting. I don't know why, but the thought of him being with someone else pissed me off. I didn't want more with him. That was something we had said from the beginning. Why I was even thinking about it, I had no clue.
Lance: I really want to talk.
That was his response. Of course he wasn't denying what I'd already known. He thought he was something special. Shit! He even had me thinking he was at times. At least he could have made it seem like he wasn't buried deep inside of someone else. What an asshole, I thought. He was Lance Smith. I was just supposed to be waiting around for him to drop everything when he decided it was my turn to be on the receiving end of his attention. It made me laugh out loud into the empty air around me.
Me: Today I'm busy. You need to stop thinking that I have nothing better to do than to wait for you to feel like talking or fucking. You're not the only one that has a life and important things going on.
Playing Hardball: Part 3 Page 5