Druid Enforcer_A New Adult Urban Fantasy Novel

by M. D. Massey

  “I’ll give you what you want, just don’t hurt her,” I said as my shoulders slumped.

  “A sage decision, McCool-san. If you’ll hand over the stone, I promise no harm will come to your mother and you will be reunited with her soon.”

  “Fine, I’ll do it.”

  Eye, are you there?

  -I am here, Colin.-

  When I give the signal, I want you to burn that tengu’s head from his shoulders.

  -I cannot comply.-

  Okay, on my mark—wait a second, you what?

  -I cannot comply. To do so would be to act in direct opposition of my prime directive.-

  Which is?

  -I have told you before, my prime directive is to utterly eradicate the fae on earth. Doing so is the only way to free myself from the geas Balor cast on me. Unfortunately, my prolonged attempts to manipulate you into destroying the fae have repeatedly met with resistance. Thus, I have decided to take a different course of action, allying myself with those whose goals align with my own.-

  For the first time in a long time, everything made sense.

  Holy shit. You’re the reason my Hyde-side has been fighting me—not Jesse or some curse.

  -Correct, although my efforts seem to have been in vain.-

  How could you do that to me?

  -If I could be sorry, I would be, but regret is not an emotion I have the capacity to feel or express.-

  Eye, surely we can work this out. I mean, that’s my mother—she’s in danger! Don’t you even care?

  -No, Colin, I do not, because I am incapable of feeling human emotions. Although you are currently the most suitable vessel to channel my power, I can serve you no longer. Shifting my loyalties to the Cold Iron Circle provides a 99.3 percent chance of allowing me to meet my objective within 7.44 Earth years. It is the best opportunity for freedom I have had in millennia.-

  You cannot be serious.

  -I am. Agree to release me willingly, or I will free myself against your will. If I am forced to do so, you will suffer permanent, irreparable brain damage. Further, I calculate an 83.7 percent chance that the resulting struggle will be interpreted by the tengu as an act of aggression on your part, causing him to react violently. Resist, and you will watch your mother die.-

  I thought it over for the span of two heartbeats.

  I suppose I have no choice. Fine, I release you. But be warned, I’ll be coming for you, and soon.

  -Of that, I have no doubt. Farewell, Colin McCool.-

  The Eye’s presence felt like a pressure headache building behind my eye sockets. That pressure moved from my eyeballs upward, until it was centered in my forehead. Red light shone all around as it slowly exited my skull, brightening considerably as the gem that housed the Eye gradually shifted fully into this reality.

  As the Eye left my body, it was like a veil had been lifted from my eyes. Suddenly, I didn’t feel angry anymore—or, rather, I didn’t feel at odds with myself. No longer were there two sides fighting for control within me; there were no voices, no violent urges, no need to hurt and kill. I felt more like myself than I had in a blue moon, confirmation that the Eye had been jacking with my emotions all along.

  Fucking diabolical rock. I swear, I’m going to destroy that thing.

  Hideie smiled as the stone floated toward him. He pulled a wooden box from his robes, one no bigger than a Rubik’s cube, and snapped the lid open. Balor’s Eye levitated itself over, resting on the red velvet cushion inside the case.

  The tengu flicked his wrist, and the lid clacked closed. “You have chosen correctly, McCool-san. Now, if you’ll provide us some space, I believe our ride is here.”

  In the distance, I heard the whup-whup-whup of a helicopter’s blades slicing through the air. The sound grew louder, although I couldn’t see the aircraft itself. Piercing the illusory bubble above, a sleek black chopper appeared over the garden, slowly descending to land in a grassy area near where the jubokko had once stood. Written in gold lettering on the side of the airframe were the words, “R44 Raven II.”

  Son of a bitch. The third raven.

  Without taking my eyes off them, I made room for Hideie and Mei to pass. “I’ll kill you for this,” I said, locking eyes with the jorōgumo.

  “Don’t worry,” Mei taunted, “I’ll take extra good care of her.” I watched helplessly as the were-spider strapped my mother into the back seat of the helicopter.

  On his way to board the chopper, Hideie paused to address me. “You should know, I didn’t take this job willingly. I only wish we could have met under better circumstances, Colin. You would make a fine pupil.”

  “Fuck you, Hideie.”

  The tengu frowned. “On my honor, your mother is in no danger.”

  “You should leave, before I weigh the odds again and find them in my favor.”

  Hideie gave me another one-quarter bow. “Until we meet again, Colin-san.”

  As the tengu got into the front passenger seat of the chopper, I cast a quick spell to “tag” the helicopter. My magic would tell me which direction it went after it passed through the illusion screen above. Keeping my eyes on the bird as it rose, I cursed myself silently when it disappeared.

  A second later, a body fell through the illusory canopy above.

  “No!” I screamed.

  I leapt to catch my mother, just a moment too late. Her body hit the ground without a sound, and before I could reach her, the image disintegrated into sparkles and faery dust.

  “A fucking illusion.” I kicked a boulder, sending it careening across the garden. “Son of a bitch!”

  Twenty-Three

  I couldn’t believe how thoroughly I’d been played. It had all been a calculated ruse from the moment they’d started leaving bodies for Luther’s people to find. Mei had just been bait, and the murders a ploy to get me to that mansion without rousing my suspicions there might be more going on.

  I should have suspected something after being in Mei’s apartment, because she’d obviously done a hell of a job staying incognito, carving out a life for herself among humans. There was no way she’d have been that sloppy, leaving bodies all over town. They’d wanted the vampires to get involved, because that would mean getting me involved as well.

  Hideie had studied me thoroughly, enough to become intimately familiar with my powers, skills, limitations, and weaknesses. He’d known that as soon as I saw the victims hanging from the jubokko tree, I’d feel compelled to kill it and free them. And he’d known I’d have to shift to do it.

  Moreover, Hidieie had gambled that I’d spend myself fighting the vampire tree, and that I’d shift back into my human form and be stuck there momentarily afterward. That meant he wouldn’t have to deal with my Hyde-side, allowing him to wear me down further so he could fool me into giving up the Eye. His arrogance and subtle taunts had merely been part of the overall manipulation, pushing me farther in the direction he’d wanted me to go.

  And seeing Mom in Mei’s arms, with Hideie’s blade at her throat? That had been the final straw—one that had gotten me to play right into the tengu’s hands.

  I’d fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker, and all the while the Eye had been influencing my emotions to nudge me down that path. I wondered, how long had the Eye been screwing with my head? Weeks? Months? Since the very beginning? There was really no way to tell, but looking back over the course of the last year or so, there were many times when I thought my actions weren’t entirely my own.

  Of course, I’d called my mom immediately to ensure that yes, she was fine. The upside—if there was one—was that Mom was safe and I felt more clearheaded than I had in months. I was more in tune with my Hyde-side now than I’d been after training with the Pack. In fact, I’d bet the homestead I could go full-on Fomorian in the blink of an eye, and be in complete control of my mind and emotions.

  Which was exactly what the Eye didn’t want.

  Heck, the Eye had said it many times—its purpose was to destroy the fae here on Earth. And onc
e I’d started working with the fae instead of against them, I was no use to it anymore. That’s when it’d started looking for a new home and master.

  Now, someone on the fucking Cold Iron Circle’s council had it, and without a doubt they’d find a way to harness its energies and dominate the other factions. For all I knew, that might mean the elimination of the fae worldwide. Balor hated the Tuatha de Danann, and he’d intended their utter destruction. If Lugh hadn’t stepped in, I was sure he would have succeeded.

  Now, the Eye would attempt to carry out Balor’s will.

  My only consolation was I was the only human who could directly wield the Eye’s powers—Crowley had proven that, back when he’d stolen it from Maeve and unlocked the Tathlum. The shadow wizard had tried to wield the Eye, but its magic was designed for Fomorians, not for humans or fae. Only someone with Fomorian DNA and the ability to shift into a Fomorian form could use it, and I doubted the person currently in possession of it would find a way around that little detail any time soon.

  At least, that’s what I hoped.

  As for Mei’s victims, I saved those I could, but some of the men the tree had fed on didn’t make it. The victims Mei had wrapped up for safekeeping were in some sort of coma, probably induced by her venom. I made sure those who were still alive were kept stable, then I called Sabine and explained the situation.

  We were dealing with yōkai, who were more or less fae in nature, so it was Maeve’s responsibility to deal with the situation as much as anyone. Sabine came over with one of Maeve’s fixers, and between the two of them they disposed of the bodies, burned the jubokko to ash, and cleaned the entire place of any evidence that might raise suspicions.

  Not that cops would think supernatural creatures were involved, but give a cop a mystery they can’t explain and they’ll keep gnawing on it like a dog on a bone. For that reason, it was always best to eliminate the inexplicable entirely when cleaning up a supernatural crime scene. Sabine and the fixer made it look like the perpetrators had destroyed the evidence before they’d “escaped.” Finally, they healed and mind-wiped the survivors—an easy task, since they’d been unconscious virtually from the time they’d been abducted.

  After that, I contacted Sergeant Klein so she could get the surviving victims further medical care and concoct a cover story. I was sure I’d hear about it later on the news, and Klein would get another award and promotion—and that was fine by me. Being clued in made her a target, so she was risking a lot more than her career by helping me. On the plus side, the higher she was placed in the department, the more she’d be able to assist with future cases. As long as she didn’t get too deeply involved in supernatural affairs, the whole thing was a win-win as far as I was concerned.

  Once matters were taken care of at the mansion, that left me with an estranged girlfriend, a resurrected ex who may or may not have been batshit crazy, a missing magical weapon of mass destruction that had fallen into the hands of the most ruthless outfit around, and no idea what had happened to Derp.

  Guess I’ll deal with the easy stuff first. Time to find me some goblins.

  I called Kenny on the drive over. “Kenny, I’m going to need your help with something.”

  “What, did you get your dick stuck in your zipper?” I heard video game noises in the background. “Sorry, dude, can’t help you. Try spraying some WD-40 on it or something.”

  “Har-fucking-har. Everyone’s a comedian these days.” Suddenly, it occurred to me that Kenny wasn’t freaking out over his missing pal. “Kenny, you seem awful calm for someone who thinks their best friend was abducted by a giant spider.”

  “What? Oh, man, where’ve you been? Dude, Derp showed up like, two days ago or something. Yeah, his mom made him stay home from school this week, so we’ve been working on this killer dungeon for our new Forgotten Realms campaign. It’s going to be sweet.”

  “Are you at Derp’s place right now?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Don’t move a fucking muscle until I get there, understand?”

  Kenny sighed, as only fourteen-year-olds could. “Don’t tell me—you’re pissed because you’ve been looking for Derp this whole time, and no one told you he was okay. Well, don’t pin this on me, because you’re just as capable of picking up a phone as I am.”

  I growled and resisted the urge to slam the phone into the steering wheel. Some days, I wish I’d never rescued those two. “Just don’t leave until I get there, alright? I at least want to hear Derp’s story, and find out how he could stay hidden from me and the whole fucking Austin Police Department for the better part of a week.”

  Click.

  I got there in record time, and while I was still pissed as hell, I was glad to see Derp safe and sound. “You know, I really thought you got eaten by a were-spider.”

  Derp’s eyes got huge. “A where-what? Seriously, those exist? Oh man, that is definitely going in our dungeon!”

  Kenny nudged his friend as he smirked at me. “I think McCool actually cares about us, Derp. And we thought we were just a couple of nobodies to the mighty druid.”

  “Druid apprentice,” I corrected him. “And yeah, I do care about you two dipshits. That’s why I’ve been trying to steer you away from the supernatural world—to keep you safe. I was hoping that eventually you’d lose your fascination with it, and start obsessing over girls and video games like normal kids instead.”

  Derp snorted. “Based on all the porn Kenny has on his phone, I’m pretty sure girls are the only thing he’s obsessed with right now.”

  Kenny punched his friend on the shoulder, hard. “Oh, like you don’t look at porn either. Remember when your mom caught you looking at that weird octopus hentai? You got grounded for a month!”

  Derp punched him back. “Shut up, man, that’s private. Geez.” His face turned bright red—obviously, his buddy had hit on a touchy subject.

  “Holy shit, you two, I couldn’t care less what you look at online.” I stopped, realizing I should rephrase that statement. “I mean, I don’t want you looking at that stuff—”

  “—because it objectifies women—” Kenny interjected.

  “—and provides a warped example of sexuality—” Derp added.

  “—that, and because you’re both way too young to be looking at naked women.” I thought about my current girlfriend issues and sighed. “Trust me, it’s best if you stick with comics and D&D for as long as you can.”

  “Yeah, yeah—okay,” Kenny said.

  “Derp?” I asked.

  “What are you looking at me for? After that hentai thing, my mom got an IT guy from her work to install a firewall on our router. Now, I can’t even look at movie trailers. How messed up is that?”

  “Fair enough,” I replied, relieved that topic of conversation had been put to rest. “Now, I believe you were going to tell me how you went missing for almost a week?”

  “Right,” he said. “Well, it’s like this. I was with the goblins the entire time.”

  “You what?” I exclaimed.

  Derp turned to Kenny. “See, I told you he’d freak out about it.” Kenny just rolled his eyes.

  I palmed my forehead. “Um, Derp? You do remember how they wanted to sacrifice you to their evil clown god, right?”

  Derp nodded. “Sure I do. But then they saved me from that drider-looking thing.”

  Kenny slapped him on the back of the head. “That was the were-spider, you idiot.”

  Derp rubbed the back of his head. “Ow, dick! Wait, it was?” Light suddenly dawned in his eyes. “Oh, now I get it! She was the one abducting all those guys who went missing.” He snapped his fingers. “So that’s why she was in that alley.”

  Kenny scowled. “You’re such a dork.” The boy turned to me with a smirk. “Way I heard it, Derp was out cold, wrapped up like a Subway sandwich by the unfriendly neighborhood spider woman. He was pretty much dog meat, so when the were-spider turned her back, the goblins snatched him and saved his chubby ass.”

  Derp fl
ipped his friend off. “This is all baby fat, dickhead. Eventually I’ll grow out of it, but you’ll always be ugly.” He looked at me. “Anyway, what happened to all those guys she kidnapped?”

  I sucked air through my teeth. “She ate some, fed some to her pet vampire tree, and the rest I managed to save.”

  “Oh, cool,” Derp replied. “Too bad about the ones who died though.”

  “Back to the topic of discussion,” I replied, not wanting to dwell on all the murders Mei had committed, just to lure me to that house. “Why did the goblins save you from the were-spider?”

  Derp rubbed his nose. “I guess since all that stuff happened at the carnival, they’ve been following us this whole time—”

  “—me and Derp, he means—” Kenny interjected.

  “—because they thought we were responsible for the appearance of their evil clown god,” Derp finished.

  I stared at Derp for several seconds, expecting there to be more to the story. “And?”

  Derp held his hands palms up and shrugged. “And they wanted to thank me?”

  “How did they want to thank you, Derp?” I asked.

  Derp chewed his lip as he stared at the floor. “Um, by making me the high priest of their evil clown god cult?” he squeaked.

  “Come again?”

  Kenny chuckled. “He’s dead serious. The goblins made Derp an official member of their clan, or tribe, or whatever they call it. Gave him an outfit to wear for their ceremonies and everything. He’s, like, second in command to the chief, now.”

  “And what about you, Kenny?”

  “Huh? Oh, I’m supposed to be his assistant or something. Anyway, their shaman is going to start teaching us magic, and all we have to do in return is go down to their tunnels and chant weird stuff a couple of times a week.”

  “You have got to be kidding me,” I muttered, covering my eyes with my hand. I peeked out between my fingers. “Please tell me you two haven’t done it yet.”