Montana Groom of Convenience

by Linda Ford

  “About what?”

  She faced him full on. “About our marriage. It isn’t romantic. It isn’t even real.” She had said too much and waited, unable to breathe, for him to respond.

  He removed his hand from hers and stared across the creek. “If I remember correctly, it’s what you wanted.” He fell silent but she refused to be the one to speak first. After a bit, he rumbled his lips. “Have you changed your mind?”

  Yes. But she couldn’t confess it. Better what they had now then nothing, she reminded herself. “Of course not.”

  “Then I don’t see a problem. Let others think what they will. You aren’t responsible for that.” He bit into his sandwich.

  “I suppose not.” She bit her own sandwich, surprised at how dry and tasteless it was. Ethel was a fine cook. She looked at the bread and meat and saw no reason for her disappointment. She admitted it wasn’t the food but the situation that was at fault.

  They allowed the animals to rest a bit. It would have been a perfect opportunity to share secrets and hopes. Ethel would have considered it a romantic interlude. But it wasn’t that for Sawyer and Carly. Sawyer lay back, covered his face with his hat and, for all she knew, had a nap while she stared at the water rippling past. The sound normally would have calmed her but this time it utterly failed to do so.

  In fact, she couldn’t sit there any longer with Sawyer nearby, oblivious to her state of mind and she bolted to her feet.

  “What’s wrong?” Sawyer asked from beneath his hat.

  “I’ll be right back.” Let him think she needed a moment of privacy. She ducked behind some bushes and stopped, pressing her fingers to her forehead.

  How was she to live up to her end of their agreement?

  *

  That afternoon, Sawyer rode a little to the left and slightly behind Carly. She didn’t put as much distance between them as she had in the morning and yet it seemed there was a mile-wide canyon separating them. What had happened to make her so aloof? He reviewed the events of last night and this morning before they left the Bar None and could think of nothing.

  His worst fear was that she had changed her mind about their marriage. He was not so naive that he didn’t know she could easily have it annulled. When he’d asked if she’d changed her mind, his brain had hammered from lack of oxygen as he waited for her to answer.

  His relief when she said she hadn’t was intermingled with longing for what he witnessed between Mike and Ethel. Loving. Caring. Understanding.

  He mused on the idea as they rode along. The bulls moved so easily that all that was required of Sawyer and Carly was to guide them in the right direction. It left plenty of time for thinking.

  Loving, caring, understanding. The words rolled over and over in his mind until he came to a firm conclusion. He could give those under their agreement.

  Sweetness filled his being as he realized it was the first time since Mama and Johnny died that he was willing to let such feelings live in his heart.

  He settled back in his saddle. I think Mama would approve. In fact, he could almost feel her breath as she leaned over him to kiss him on the forehead. It was a sweet memory from many years ago. One that warmed him clear through.

  No time like the present to offer those things.

  He rode close to Carly. “How long have you known Mike and Ethel?”

  She startled as if her thoughts had been a thousand miles away and he wondered if she had felt that wide canyon between them as well. “Father met Mike years ago before he married Ethel. They’re both cattlemen, so it’s not surprising they ran into each other. One winter, Mike went east. Told us he was going to find a wife.” She stared off into the distance. “I suppose we all thought he’d advertise and come back with a sort of mail-order bride. He’s never said how he met Ethel, although a few people have enquired. But it’s obvious to anyone with eyes that theirs is a love match.” She grinned at him. “They can hardly keep their eyes off each other.”

  “It’s so romantic.” He pressed his hand to his chest and sighed, earning him a laugh from Carly. He felt his lungs swell to capacity at the way she grinned at him.

  To his right, a flash of yellow color caught his eyes. “I’ll be right back.” He rode toward the spot and dismounted. Strange-looking flowers with yellow petals hanging downward and brown centers pointing toward the sun. With his knife, he cut half a dozen of the flowers and rode back to Carly. “Flowers for you.”

  She stared at him, her eyes wide, then looked at the flowers in her hands. “Thank you.” The words seemed strained.

  He knew it was because he had surprised her.

  “Why?” she asked.

  He considered his answer carefully before he spoke. “You said you hated deceiving your friends, so I thought I would do something romantic so it isn’t a deception when people make comments like Ethel did.” Pleased with himself for the reasonable answer, he grinned. His pleasure went to the core of his heart when she ducked her head. He knew his little gesture had pleased her. He began to plan other surprises.

  They pushed on slowly. He opened his canteen and offered her a drink before he quenched his own thirst. She reached into her saddlebags and brought out a sack of cookies and passed half to him.

  The bulls began to weary. “We need to stop soon.” They’d spend the night. Like Ethel had said, it was romantic to be alone under the stars. But how best to make the most of it?

  “Let’s stop over there.” She pointed toward a nearby creek where trees would provide shelter. They turned aside. The animals drank eagerly while he and Carly made a temporary rope corral.

  “I think they’ll be happy enough to rest that they won’t wander away,” she said. “All the same, we need to take turns watching them.”

  He had to agree. His own plans would have to take second place to the necessity of making sure the bulls got home safely.

  They ate a simple supper of beans and biscuits with more of Ethel’s baking for dessert. The sun dipped toward the mountains in the west. Carly yawned.

  They were both weary. “I’ll take the first watch. You get some rest.” He moved closer to where the bulls were corralled and sat down, his back to a tree.

  “Wake me in a few hours.” She removed her boots and crawled into her bedroll. Within minutes, she breathed deeply.

  He would have no trouble staying awake as his thoughts churned in endless circles. Despite his decision to show Carly he cared, a portion of him wondered at the wisdom of that decision. Fear and uncertainty tangled within him. He recalled the moment he had learned not to let himself care. He groaned. Didn’t realize how loud the sound was in the dark until Carly threw back the covers. “What’s wrong?”

  “Just thinking.”

  She pulled on her boots and joined him by the corral. The tree was small so her shoulder pressed against his as she sat beside him. “What kind of thinking makes a man groan as if he’d been punched?”

  The moon shining on the water of the creek provided a silvery, wobbly light. A mesmerizing light that unlocked a door within him. “It was a sad memory.”

  She squeezed his hand, her arm resting across his. “Would you tell me about it?”

  “It was shortly after Mama and Johnny died. Can’t say for sure how long. Time didn’t mean anything then. Pa couldn’t seem to settle down. We’d go from place to place to place. He’d start a job and then leave. Always on the move. I guess it was his way of fleeing the pain of what happened.” He closed his eyes as the memory gained speed. “Then a couple of years down the road, he found a job on a ranch in the Dakotas. We had a little cabin to ourselves and ate in the cookhouse with the other men. The boss man was really nice to us and his wife kind of took me under her wing.”

  He told of getting special treats, being invited into the house to test fresh cookies. Sitting next to the boss lady on the sofa as she read to him and taught him school lessons. “She was a schoolteacher before she married the boss man.”

  They had stayed throughout the sum
mer. “The cabin was warm and comfortable. I spent time every day at the main house. The missus took care of me in many ways. I think she saw how hurt and lonely I was and went out of her way to help me. She doled out hugs freely.” He paused as his throat tightened. “It was the longest we stayed in one place and I let myself think Pa had decided to settle down.”

  It took a moment before he could go on and Carly waited, letting him take all the time he needed, drawing strength from her touch.

  “Then one morning he said we were moving on. I’ll never forget the day. There was a cold wind carrying pellets of snow. They stung my skin. I turned my face into the wind, welcoming the discomfort. ‘I’m not going,’ I said. ‘I’ll stay here.’ I ran up to the house and barged in. The missus looked up as I ran into the kitchen. ‘Pa’s leaving and I don’t want to go,’ I blurted out. ‘Can I stay with you?’ She gave a sad look. ‘I wish you could but you must go with your father.’ When she tried to hug me goodbye, I pushed her away.”

  He relived that moment. The bitter disappointment. “That’s when I promised myself I would never let myself care about anyone.” He’d kept that vow until now. Maybe he should continue to keep it.

  But it was too late for that decision. He’d already begun to care.

  Did he want to retract his earlier decision to show his feelings toward her? Could he if he tried?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Carly withdrew her hand from Sawyer’s. She eased around the tree trunk until cool air drifted between them. She’d almost convinced herself that he had changed. That he might be willing to reconsider their arrangement and allow it to be more than a business deal.

  “I promise I will never turn Jill away,” she said. It seemed to be the most she could offer to a man who admitted he would never care.

  “It will keep her from feeling the same way I did.”

  “What about you?” She hoped her tone conveyed only mild interest when she ached beyond hope for so much more for him and from him.

  “I have a partnership in the Morrison Ranch. That means I have a reason to belong.”

  “A partnership?”

  “Yes, your father said I was a partner. I assumed you knew.”

  “Of course he did.” It was news to her. News that made it so very clear that she would never be seen as good as a son. Even a son-in-law Father barely knew earned more respect from him than she did, even after years of hard work trying to prove herself.

  She pushed to her feet, her limbs barely under control. “Wake me when it’s time for me to take over.” She made her shaky way to her bedroll, knowing she would spend the next few hours staring into the dark trying to pretend this news didn’t upset her.

  She took over her watch when Sawyer called her. She walked around the corral enclosure. Not because she felt she needed to check anything but because her insides were too restless to allow her to sit.

  By dawn, she was weary but anxious to be moving.

  Sawyer scrambled from his bedroll and hurriedly made coffee. Seemed he was anxious to get back to his ranch. His and Father’s.

  Neither of them had much to say as they ate a quick breakfast and got the animals on the move again.

  The bulls were a little cantankerous, not wanting to be pushed onward. Several times, they turned back, wanting to return to their stable. It kept Carly and Sawyer both busy, guiding them in the right direction. Carly welcomed the diversion as it made conversation almost impossible.

  If only it would make thinking impossible, too.

  They paused briefly around noon, thinking the bulls would welcome a break but one raced away. Sawyer was in his saddle in moments, herding the animal back. Meanwhile, the two others took off in the opposite direction and Carly went after them.

  “We better keep them moving,” Sawyer called as he brought the stray back.

  “Yup.”

  The sun was an orange ball on the peaks of the mountains when they turned the bulls into the corrals at the Morrison Ranch. Carly refused to think it might soon be known as the Gallagher Ranch.

  The animals looked about, saw the fences and knew they didn’t have to go anywhere for the rest of the day. They leaned into the shelter of the fence, prepared to enjoy their new home.

  Father and the girls came over to admire the animals. “Ye made good time,” he said.

  “Had to keep them moving,” Carly said, struggling to keep sharpness from her tone. She loved her father but he had betrayed her. She glanced toward the hill where the five graves stood behind a wooden fence. Would she never count as much as a son would have?

  No point in worrying about what might have been.

  Sawyer and Carly took care of their horses, then they went to the house.

  “I made supper, thinking you might be back tonight,” Beth said.

  Carly gave her a one-armed hug. The child had lost both parents, been treated poorly by a so-called stepfather, had taken care of her two younger siblings until Logan and Sadie rescued them and yet she remained cheerful and sweet.

  Carly knew she must do the same and she could with God’s help. Like Mother used to say, ‘Disappointments can make us better or we can allow them to make us bitter.’ To honor her mother, she would not be bitter.

  The girls set the table while Carly washed off the dust of the trail.

  Beth had made a meatloaf, carrots and mashed potatoes.

  “This is excellent. Thank you.” Carly said.

  “It certainly is,” Sawyer added.

  “Aye, I’ve been well taken care of while you were away.” Father’s smile of approval brought a pink stain to Beth’s cheeks.

  “Jill helped me.”

  The child beamed with adoration for the older girl.

  As soon as the dishes were done, Carly said, “Good night. I’m tired.” Then she remembered Beth had been sleeping in her bed. “One of you girls can bunk with me.”

  “I will,” Jill said. The girls followed her to the room and Jill crawled in beside Carly, snuggling close. It left Beth crammed into the shorter bed but she insisted she didn’t mind.

  “Did you miss me?” Carly asked in a teasing tone.

  “Granddad said things would change when you got back.”

  “Change? How?” Did he intend to put Sawyer in charge and confine Carly to the house?

  “He said you and Sawyer would be different after spending time together.” She giggled a little. “Said you’d be really truly married.”

  It wasn’t about the ranch. But was his opinion about their marriage any more welcome? She took slow, deep breaths. Like Sawyer said, other people’s opinions didn’t matter.

  Except this was Father and his opinion mattered a great deal.

  The next day, she said she was going to check on the cows. They’d let the bulls rest a few days, then take them out to the herd.

  Sawyer said he’d accompany her.

  “I’ve been doing this without an escort for a long time.”

  “But now you don’t have to.”

  “Ack, daughter, let the man go with ye.”

  She scowled at them both.

  Sawyer simply smiled as if unconcerned with her attitude. He kept up the same cheerful spirit as they rode to the northwest in search of the cows. “’Tis a bonny day.” He imitated Father’s accent so well Carly laughed in spite of herself.

  Sawyer continued to imitate Father, pointing out the ‘fair meadows,’ the ‘fine cattle,’ until Carly’s bad mood entirely vanished.

  They found the cattle grazing near the creek. Sawyer glanced over them, then turned away. But he didn’t head toward home.

  Carly followed. “Where are you going?”

  “Come and see.” They passed through the band of trees and reached the edge of the creek. Sawyer swung down from his horse and gave her an are-you-coming look.

  Curious, she followed. The banks of the creek rose, growing more rugged. He reached back and offered her his hand to help her. She took it even though a tiny, nagging portion of her brain
warned her she couldn’t hold hands and remain annoyed.

  But then, she did not want to remain annoyed.

  He kept her hand in his as they reached a wider spot. Ahead lay a small waterfall.

  “How did you know about this?” she asked.

  “I could hear it. Plus Logan told me about it. He said there was a really big waterfall on Wolf River toward the town of Wolf Hollow.”

  “There is.” Did he know that she and Annie had visited the rough mining town of Wolf Hollow a few times before their fathers had forbid it? What would he think if he knew?

  “We should go see it sometime.”

  She almost protested. They’d found the town dirty. The occupants, for the most part, rude. Then she realized he meant the waterfall. “It’s certainly worth a visit. Jill would enjoy it.”

  “I suppose she would, though I wasn’t thinking of her.”

  She met his gaze, the water reflecting in his irises turning them more blue than green and she had the feeling of falling. No floating. On a soft cloud. Speech had abandoned her.

  He smiled gently and took her hand to lead her closer to the falls. They stood watching the tumbling water, listening to the gurgle and feeling the spray on their cheeks.

  He sank down on a damp rock and pulled her down beside him.

  She did not resist.

  Neither of them spoke. There didn’t seem any need. Peace settled into her soul.

  He picked up a handful of rocks and tossed them, one by one in the creek.

  She did the same.

  He threw one across the stream.

  She threw hers across. “Mine went farther.”

  “We’ll see about that.” He stood and released a rock that went into the trees on the far side.

  She stood and threw hers as hard as she could. It went into the trees.

  They took turns throwing rocks, each crowing that theirs had gone the greatest distance until they finally collapsed in a fit of laughter.

  After a bit, they made their way back to the horses and headed home.

  Carly’s insides ached. If only they could be like this all the time. The ranch forgotten. The terms of their marriage forgotten.