Montana Groom of Convenience

by Linda Ford

  Carly’s conscience smote her but she didn’t change her mind. Not even when Father moaned as he grabbed his cane and made his way to the door.

  He waved for the Jacobses to join him. “Come then, we’ll have a look around.”

  Mr. Jacobs looked from Father to Carly to Sawyer. Hesitated, then gave a dismissive shrug. “Thank you, sir.”

  Jill stayed at Father’s side.

  Carly waited until they headed toward the barn, then spun about to face Sawyer. “I can’t believe he is doing this.”

  “Nor can I.”

  “He’s been toying with us this whole time.” Letting them believe if she did certain things, he wouldn’t sell the ranch.

  An uncertain smile lifted Sawyer’s lips. “Not that it’s been so bad though.”

  Their gazes held.

  She allowed a little smile. “There are parts I don’t regret. But—” How could she ignore the fact her father was this very minute planning to sell the place? After pushing her into marriage? After forcing her to invite Sawyer into her room? But like he said, it wasn’t all bad and she certainly didn’t regret that he was her husband.

  In name only. She went to the window and watched their progress. Her stomach burning. She’d hoped to find the courage to tell Sawyer of her changing feelings and now this. Prospective buyers. Father showing them around when he should be telling them the place was no longer for sale.

  She stayed at the window, Sawyer by her side, until the little group made its way back to the house.

  Rather than come inside, the Jacobses returned to their buggy.

  Good. They were leaving.

  Father stepped inside. Jill sat down on the grass to play with the kitten.

  “They changed their mind?”

  “Not at all. They are going to see as much of the land as they can. Someone should show them around, but I cannae.” He gave Carly and Sawyer dark looks. “Aye, and it appears I’ll get no help here.”

  “I can’t believe—” What was the use? He’d never seen her for who she was. Why should she expect he would now?

  “I invited them to join us for dinner.”

  She stuffed back all the angry words rushing to her mind.

  “Aye, but they refused. I dinnae doubt they felt the lack of hospitality.” He plunked down at the table. “Wouldn’t yer mother be dismayed?”

  “Aye, and now wouldn’t she be?” Likely as much at father as at daughter. “Mother would never go back on her word.”

  “Aye,” he said but he didn’t change his mind.

  It was past dinnertime and she was hungry, so she served the meal. Despite her hunger, she found it difficult to swallow and finally scraped most of her food to the cat dish. As soon as she had the dishes done, she hurried to her room to change into trousers.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and let the memories of Sawyer rushing to rescue her from the flames drown out the bitter taste of her father’s treachery. She’d seen the fear in Sawyer’s eyes, had an inkling of how he must have felt to see flames catching on her skirt. He’d demanded to know why she wasn’t wearing trousers. The question brought a sweet smile to her lips. So unlike Bart wanting her to pretty up. It seemed Sawyer accepted her the way she was.

  She didn’t need to put on a dress to please him or to gain his attention.

  I want to be your wife.

  She’d almost said how she felt. And then the Jacobses had come along, upsetting everything.

  She pulled her dress off and jerked on her trousers and strode from the room. “I’m going for a ride.” The freedom of the open spaces, the wind tugging at her hair, the thrill of being at one with her horse would go a long way to easing her tangled thoughts. She saddled Sunny and galloped from the yard. Just before she disappeared around the barn, she caught a glimpse of Sawyer and Jill standing in the doorway, watching.

  This isn’t about you, she wanted to shout. But they wouldn’t hear her. She rode hard over the hills until she reached the secret little lake. She walked Sunny to cool him, then flung herself to the ground. She walked back and forth along the verge of the lake. She kicked at clumps of grass and tossed twigs into the water. Finally, her anger mostly spent, she sat down and stared at the water. What would she do if Father sold the ranch? What would happen to Sawyer and Jill?

  There would be no reason to continue their marriage agreement.

  She sat with her legs drawn up, her chin propped on her knees and let her sorrow and sadness consume her. After a bit, her feelings abated and she was able to take each thought out and examine it, trying to find a way to deal with it.

  Would she have to say goodbye to the land she’d loved since she was a child?

  More than that, she would have nothing to offer Sawyer. Would he decide he was done with their agreement?

  She moaned as pain seared through her. With surprising clarity, she realized the source of her pain. It wasn’t the thought of losing the ranch—as much as that would hurt. It was knowing she could lose Sawyer and Jill.

  Oh God, help me. I don’t know if I can bear it if they leave.

  The Lord is my shepherd. She focused on the promise. For Mother’s sake, she would be strong, she would cling to her faith.

  The thud of approaching hooves brought her to her feet. She grabbed Sunny’s reins, ready to ride away if the sound brought trouble.

  Her breath eased out when Sawyer came into sight. She waited for him to ride closer.

  He dismounted several yards away and closed the distance separating them. He faced her, saying nothing but searching her with his eyes.

  Neither of them spoke. She couldn’t bring herself to address the issue that hung between them like a wall.

  If Father sold the ranch, would she and Sawyer go their separate ways?

  *

  Sawyer wanted to soothe away the pain in Carly’s eyes. Wanted to assure her everything would be okay. But he couldn’t promise her that.

  If her father sold the ranch, her need for a marriage would be gone.

  Was that what she wanted? Not many hours ago, she had said she wanted him to see her as his wife. What did she mean? He hoped it meant she had started to care about him and perhaps even wanted to change the terms they had agreed to.

  But had this latest development made her change her mind?

  He told himself he would hold back until she made her wishes clear, but he saw the pain in her eyes and couldn’t stand idly by. He pulled her against his chest and held her close.

  “I’m sorry about the way your father is acting.” So many other things crowded his mind—how hard Carly tried to please her father, to gain his approval and how oblivious her father was to her efforts, how much she loved the land and how intimately she knew it. She’d been willing to marry a stranger in order to keep the ranch. A needless sacrifice it would seem.

  He had no choice but to release her from their agreement.

  His arms tightened about her as his heart warred with what he must do.

  “Carly.” His voice grated like a rusty hinge. “If your father sells the ranch, our agreement is no longer necessary.”

  She’d been soft and close against his chest. At his words, she stiffened. Slowly, she eased from his arms. “You want to end our marriage?”

  He could tell nothing from her expression or her tone of voice. Couldn’t guess if she was pleased with his offer. Somehow he forced words from his reluctant throat. “We married so you could keep the ranch.”

  “And so you and Jill could have a home.”

  They stood inches apart but it might as well have been miles.

  She nodded. “I understand.” She walked slowly back to the edge of the water and stood looking out at the lake.

  Was she finding peace? Relief?

  The words she’d spoken along the trail burned through his brain. She wanted him to see her as his wife. She’d never explained and before he let her go, he had to know what she meant. He closed the distance between them and stood at her side, careful to leave
space between them. He, too, looked at the water, hoping he could find strength and courage there.

  He needed God’s help to get through this. Yea, though I walk through the valley of death. God, be my rod and staff.

  “This morning, you said something that I didn’t understand. I’m hoping you’ll explain yourself.”

  They both shifted so they faced each other.

  Her eyes were watchful, guarded. If only he could see past the wall she’d set up and know what she wanted. His shoulders sank as his lungs emptied. He knew what she wanted—the ranch. He’d been the means to that end. But was he more?

  “Carly, you said you wanted me to see you as my wife. What did you mean?”

  Her gaze flickered. Did he see hope? Longing? Or was it regret? He couldn’t allow himself to think so. And then her eyes darkened and he thought he saw resolve and something more. Something that caused him to tense with a mixture of fear and anticipation.

  “I meant exactly what I said.”

  “I guess I don’t understand. You are my wife.”

  “In name only. We both know it would take nothing to annul the contract between us.” Challenge flared in her gaze.

  “You want more than that?”

  She nodded. “Do you?”

  Yes. Yes. A thousand times, yes. “You only married me to save the ranch. Our marriage isn’t necessary if your father plans to sell it anyway.”

  She lifted one shoulder as if that didn’t matter and his heart swelled with hope.

  “Do you want to stay married even if your father sells out?” There, he’d laid it on the line, risked everything to know the truth. And if she said no, well, he’d lived with disappointment before and survived. His insides quivered. Surviving this time might prove more of a challenge.

  “Do you?”

  He closed his eyes. She was forcing him to take the first step. He dug deep for the strength to open his heart and let her see to the darkest corners. He opened his eyes and fell into her gaze. For this woman, he would risk everything—even his carefully constructed security. For her, he’d knock down the walls surrounding his heart.

  “Carly, I don’t want to end our marriage. In fact—” He drew in a breath for courage. “I want it to be real.”

  She studied him as if waiting for more. Finally asked a question. “Why?”

  He smiled. He should have guessed she’d want more. “I don’t know. It just seems right. Like we fit.”

  She nodded. “I know. So we’ll continue our agreement even if Father decides to sell?”

  “Agreed.”

  She waited. “But—” Shook her head. “Never mind. Shall we go back and see what he’s decided?”

  As they rode back to the house, he knew he had missed something but couldn’t say what it was. He was grateful she had agreed to continue their marriage.

  But neither of them had discussed changing the terms. Or had she when she said she wanted to be his wife?

  Had he missed an opportunity to tell her how he felt? All because of his habit of protecting his heart?

  If he continued in this direction, he would protect his heart from everything he yearned for. She galloped homeward, making it impossible to say anything now.

  Would he ever get another chance to say what he felt?

  Chapter Nineteen

  Carly tried to convince herself she wasn’t disappointed with the decision she and Sawyer had made to continue their marriage. Except she was. How much plainer could she be that she wanted more than a contract between them? She’d practically spelled it out. She wanted to be his wife. She wanted him to love her as she loved him. There, she’d come right out and said it. Just not out loud. The next move was up to him.

  They crested the last hill before the house. The Jacobses’ buggy headed toward town. Good. Maybe they’d changed their mind.

  If only she could believe that was so.

  They took care of their horses before they went to the house. One minute, Carly wanted to rush the task and the next, she wanted it to last forever.

  Sawyer finished first and leaned against the doorjamb, watching her delay. He chuckled. “Better to know the truth than to imagine the worst, wouldn’t you say?”

  “True.” But she wasn’t thinking solely of the ranch. Seems the words applied equally to their marriage. Better to know the truth. Unless it was a truth she didn’t want to hear. “I’m done.” Together they crossed the yard.

  “They’re gone,” Jill said from the end of the porch where she played with Skippy. “Granddad is inside. He said he wanted to talk to you without little girls listening.” She sighed. “He could have said me but he was trying to be nice.”

  Carly wished her father would try to be nice to her. They entered the house and stood facing him.

  “Sit,” he said.

  They sat side by side across from Father and waited. She squeezed her intertwined fingers so hard they hurt.

  Sawyer must have noticed for he wrapped a hand around hers. She untangled her fingers and turned her palm to his, cupping his hand between hers. No matter what happened, she and Sawyer would stick together. Her heart lightened.

  “Father, what have you decided?”

  “They’re very interested in buying the place,” Father said.

  She wasn’t surprised that he seemed set on choosing this route. “So you’re going to sell?”

  “I have yet to make up my mind.” His eyes narrowed as he looked at her. “I dinnae like to sell without your agreement.”

  He didn’t need her approval. Nor would he likely take it into account. “I have tried to make up for you not having any sons. I’ve done my best to handle the ranch work.” She didn’t think he had any reason to complain at her efforts.

  Sawyer squeezed her hand a little as if to signal his sympathy.

  “I’m sorry it hasn’t been enough for you,” she added. Anger intermingled with resignation. “Father, you know what? It no longer matters because I love Sawyer and we’ll make a new home elsewhere if you sell this place.”

  Sawyer tugged her hand and she looked at him, saw surprise in his face. Oh no, she’d blurted out her real feelings. Would her confession frighten him off?

  “You love me?” he asked.

  In for a penny, in for a dime, she decided. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

  He smiled so wide and bright she blinked. He pulled her hands to his chest and faced her father. “Father Morrison, I respect you as a man and a rancher, but you’ve been unfair to Carly. She’s poured her heart and life into this ranch and you refuse to recognize her efforts solely because your sons have not lived.”

  Father stared from one to the other, then his gaze rested on Carly. “Aye, child, I only wanted you to be happy as my daughter. Not always trying to be a son. I have no son.” He bestowed an approving smile on Sawyer. “But I now have a son-in-law. Thanks to you.” He chuckled as if the whole situation amused him. “Could be I’ll be blessed with grandsons.”

  He struggled to his feet. “I’ll be informing the Jacobses that the land is no longer for sale. I have a daughter and her husband to run the place.” He limped toward the door where he paused. “I already made Sawyer your partner. I’ll let you two iron out the details regarding that. By the by, I’ve always believed you could run the ranch single-handedly. Always have. But I wanted more for you. Aye, I wanted you to have what your mother and me shared.” The door closed quietly behind him.

  Sawyer got to his feet, pulling Carly up with him. He still held her hands.

  She couldn’t look at him, afraid she had said too much. Afraid of all that was in her heart. “My father just wants me to be a daughter to him. Not a son. I always thought quite the opposite. Guess I misunderstood his comments to be criticisms of me.”

  “He seems pleased that you’re his daughter.” He drew her closer. “You love me?”

  She nodded.

  “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”

  Her head jerked up. “I’ve been
trying to. But I was afraid you’d think I had failed to honor the terms of our agreement.”

  He chuckled. “Do you know how often I’ve longed to ask you if you’d be willing to change those terms?”

  Hope blossomed in her heart. “Change them in what way?”

  He tipped her chin up so he could smile into her face. “You heard your father. He’s making us equal partners.”

  “Oh.” Was that all?

  He trailed his finger along her jawline, sending such sweet sensations through her that her knees grew weak. “I can only agree to being equal partners with you if…”

  She held her breath, waiting for his conditions. Ready to accept almost anything.

  He caught her chin. “Carly, I love you with my whole heart and everything in it. I don’t just want to be partners, nor man and wife on paper. I want to share every bit of my life with you. Every moment, every thought, every feeling. Can you live with that?”

  She crossed her arms behind his neck and drew him closer. “I do believe I’d enjoy that very much.”

  “Me, too.” He lowered his head and claimed her mouth in a kiss so sweet she thought she might be floating.

  They reluctantly ended the kiss. “I suppose nothing changes on the surface,” she said. “Though it seems impossible when everything has changed inside.” She pressed her hand to his chest.

  “For the better, too.” He kissed her nose, then lowered his head and caught her lips.

  Jill barged in. “Yeww. You’re kissing.” But she grinned from ear to ear.

  Sawyer caught his little sister around the waist and hugged her. He opened his other arm and pulled Carly into a three-person hug. The kitten wound around their ankles.

  Jill patted his cheek, bringing a sting of tears to Carly’s eyes at how much this pair loved each other and how they were learning to show it. “Is Granddad selling the ranch?” Jill’s voice thinned with worry.

  “Nope. You and me and Carly are going to stay here with Granddad. What do you think of that?”

  “I think it’s the best news ever.” She laughed and wrapped her arms about both Carly and Sawyer’s necks.

  Carly had to agree. They were together and loving each other. She could ask for nothing more.