by Cindy Stark
He grabbed her hand. "We'll just take a walk," he told the group. "To cool off, you know?"
"Uh-huh," Scott replied. "You do that."
* * *
Ariana allowed Milo to pull her along as he made his way past the vehicles, closer to the pond, away from the flickering flames. There was no doubt everyone expected he'd take her somewhere private and have his way with her. He wouldn't of course, but she did wonder where they were going.
The chill in the air was more noticeable away from the fire. The breeze had grown stronger, but it barely tempered her heated skin. She'd known she and Milo had dipped their toes in dangerous waters, but at the moment, she was drunk enough she didn't care. Flirting and dancing with Milo was like nectar to her love-starved soul.
When there was nothing but silence and darkness surrounding them, he dropped her hand and rounded on her. "I'm sorry, Ariana. I'm totally messing this up. People are now aware of your existence, and you're being forced to live a lie, even if it is only temporary. I've created a disaster, and the more I try to fix my screw ups, the worse this gets." He leaned against an aspen, the moonlight shadowing the contours of his tortured expression. The depth of his concern surprised her.
"Milo." She stepped forward into his personal space, her footsteps the slightest bit wobbly.
He reached out to steady her. "We should keep our distance."
She laughed. "Are you afraid I'm going to attack you in the wilderness?" She took another step, and he put a hand up between them. She took it, pressing it between both of her hands before she wrapped her fingers around it and held it to her breast.
"Ariana," he warned.
"It's okay, Milo."
"It's not."
She opened his palm and pressed it against her wildly beating heart. "Can you feel that?"
"Ariana."
"It means I'm alive."
"It means you're drunk, and we're both going to regret anything that we let happen tonight."
"No," she said with plenty of conviction. "It means no matter what you do, there are no guarantees that either of us will have a tomorrow. Right now, we're alive, and this was turning into the perfect evening. When was the last time you relaxed and laughed like that?"
He pulled his hand away. "I don't relax. Ever. Not when someone's life is at stake."
"Seriously." She pushed against his chest. "You are wound so tight I'm surprised you haven't had a heart attack."
He stood his ground, his gaze boring into hers. She sensed he was on the verge of coming uncorked, and she was just drunk enough she didn't care.
"You've got your life all buttoned up perfectly." She walked her fingers up his abdomen. "You're the hometown hero, with nerves of steel. You tease the ladies, but you'll never commit to one of them. On the surface, you're Mr. Perfect, but deep down, you're the one that's truly messed up."
Several seconds ticked by with nothing but their breathing and the sound of crickets to fill the void. The intensity of his stare shot a frazzled shiver straight to her core. Still, he didn't break.
She heaved out a frustrated sigh and stepped back. "And I thought my life was a disaster." She turned to head back to camp.
"The last time I relaxed while protecting someone, she died, Ariana. Did you hear that? She died." His voice cracked as he said the last word.
She stopped and turned. If she'd thought he'd looked tortured before, his expression was ten times worse now. The pained look on his face broke her heart. "Milo…" He didn't stop her this time when she got close to him. She lifted a hand, resting it on his cheek. "I'm so sorry. Will you tell me about her?"
He shook his head as though gathering his emotions. "She walked. She'd been confined for a long period of time, just like you. She kept threatening to walk, insisting her life wasn't worth living if she couldn't be free."
His words hit home. "Just like me."
It was his turn to cup her cheek. "Just like you."
The sadness in his face made her want to cry. "That's why you were so angry with me the day you couldn't find me. It's why you were so worried."
He nodded.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You're doing this as a favor to a friend, and I'm making your life hell."
"No." He pulled her closer, brushing his lips across hers in a soft kiss. "Never hell."
"What happened to her?" She shouldn't ask. She was far too close to a similar situation, and it wouldn't do anyone any good if she was frightened of her own shadow.
"She's was a party girl. Pretty. Enough that she caught the attention of a high-powered drug dealer. He messed her up one night, and she thought turning him over to the cops would be a great way to get revenge. It worked out for the Feds. Not so much for her. She didn't have the fortitude to stay away. She snuck away one night and called her party friends." He dropped his gaze. "They found her two days later in a muddy ditch on the outskirts of New Jersey. If we didn't have her fingerprints on file, the authorities would have been hard pressed to identify her."
A stone-cold shiver skittered across her skin. She folded her arms. "That wasn't your fault, Milo. No one can make us follow the rules if we choose not to." She swallowed, thinking of her own infidelities. "She put her life in danger. Not you."
He took off his flannel shirt and draped it over her shoulders. "I could have done more. I should have seen the signs." He shook his head. "It weighs heavy on me."
"It would me, too." That was a huge burden to bear even if it wasn't his fault. "But she lived her life her way, Milo. I know you were trying to help her, but you can't take away her right to freedom. Part of me can understand why she walked." She tucked her arms inside his shirt, loving the way the soft cotton smelled of him, warming her inside and out.
He gripped her hand. "Don't ever do that to me, Ariana. Promise me you won't do anything that might bring harm to you."
"Okay." She tried to give him a reassuring smile, her guilt as heavy as a fifty-pound block of cement. "Don't worry about me. My days are almost up, and then I can have my life back."
* * *
Milo held her hand as they walked through the quiet moonlight. He hadn't said much after he'd given her a peek into his psyche, but she could appreciate how hard opening up had to be for him. Taking her on, doing this favor for Quinn, had cost him more than it would most people. This warmth that now surrounded them spawned from a different place than the sexual heat that forever blazed between them. She liked the comfort it brought her, and she could only hope it brought him the same kind of fortitude and solace.
Their path took them on another downward slope. It seemed they'd gone up and down several times. Tall brush grew just off their path, with pines and aspens giving them solitude. "How far are we from camp?" The full moon hovered high in the sky, and she had nothing to mark their heading. For all she knew, they were completely lost.
He stopped, taking her arms and turning her a quarter of a turn. Coming up behind her, he put a hand on one hip, and pointed past her with his other. "There's a hint of our fire, if you look right through those trees."
Ariana followed his direction until she spotted the glow. "I see it. It seems like we've been walking forever, but we're not that far away at all. For all I knew, we were walking in circles."
He laughed then, the first hint of amusement or happiness since they'd danced by the fire. "Busted. Not circles necessarily, but not a straight line, either. I wasn't ready to head back to the others yet, but we probably ought to now. It's getting colder."
She snuggled deeper into his flannel shirt, warmed by the thought that he'd purposely kept her out there in an effort to spend time alone. "That's okay. I just didn't want to get lost."
"No fear of that. I've been roaming these hills forever."
They kept the banter lighthearted as they made their way back, and Milo had taken her hand again. She liked it though she had to wonder if it was because he liked her, or because he thought she'd trip on the uneven, unfamiliar terrain.
When they walk
ed into camp, their group of friends had become noticeably smaller.
"Where did everyone go?" Milo asked as he sat next to Scott. Ariana planted herself in the camp chair next to him.
"Kim wasn't feeling well," Scott replied. "Jerry took her home. Sierra didn't want to stay if Kim wasn't, so she and Tyler left, too." He twisted the top off another beer. "Looks like it's just the six of us."
Ariana swiveled toward Milo. "I thought Kim was our designated driver."
"Aren't you guys staying?" Luke adjusted his ball cap as he tossed the question to Milo. "You always stay."
Milo glanced from Ariana to the others. "Uh, actually, we'd planned on catching a ride with Jerry and Kim, and picking my truck up tomorrow."
Ariana nodded.
Scott laughed. "Looks like you're shit out of luck. I don't think any of us are in any shape to drive. Hope you brought sleeping bags."
Ariana's brows shot skyward. "Sleeping bags?" She glanced about the camp. "There's not even a tent."
"We sleep under the stars." Lily nudged her husband. "Like Luke, Milo and Scott did as boys, right? Except we pile in the backs of our trucks so we're not on the ground where the crawly things can get us."
"Crawly things?" Ariana's gaze slipped to the dirt.
Luke scoffed. "There are no crawly things to be worried about. We've been over this a hundred times, Lily."
"Don't tell me that," Lily threw back at him. "There are snakes. I've seen them."
"Snakes?" Ariana lifted her feet off the ground as she eyed Milo, feeling the slightest bit panicky. "You took me walking in the dark with snakes around? Are you crazy?"
"You're freaking her out, Lily." Milo took Ariana's hand. "There aren't any snakes that are going to get you. There are mostly rattlers out here, and they only come out during the day. Right now, they're curled up under rocks sleeping."
"Rattlesnakes are poisonous." She shook her head. "You're not helping."
"Honey, I've been coming out here for years. Roaming the hills, sleeping on the ground. I've never been bitten. No one else here has either."
"There was—"
"Scott." Milo cut him off. "There's nothing to be afraid of. I promise to keep you safe, okay?"
She let that thought settle in her slightly fuzzy brain. She'd trusted Milo with her life where her father's men were concerned. There was no reason to not trust him now. "Okay." She tentatively rested her shoes back on the ground.
"Don't worry, Anna," Jen joined in. "I don't like snakes, either, but we're not going to run into any tonight. They don't like the fire, and like Milo said, they'll be hiding under a rock somewhere. Not bugging us."
Ariana nodded. "Thanks. That makes me feel better." She appreciated how all of Milo's friends seemed concerned for her welfare.
"Now that that's settled, we're still screwed. I've got a couple of blankets, but I didn't bring sleeping bags." Milo looked at Ariana. "I hate to ask you, but hopefully you'll be okay crashing in the front of the truck for a couple of hours until I'm good to drive. Usually, I'm better prepared."
"We've got an extra bag and an extra quilt in case it gets too chilly," Lily offered. "Coupled with your blankets, do you think that will be enough?"
Ariana glanced at Milo with no idea what his reaction would be. Never in a million years could she have pictured herself sleeping next to a mountain pond in the bed of a truck under the stars. She couldn't get much farther away from downtown Chicago.
"Up to you, Anna. Are you feeling adventurous?"
All eyes in the party turned to her. If she said no, she'd disappoint them. She couldn't do that to these kind people who'd treated her as one of their own. She gave them a smile that was a hundred times more confident than she felt. "Okay. Why not?"
Luke twisted the cap off another beer and handed it to Milo. "Better keep her, man."
"I'm planning on it." Milo took the chilled bottle from his friend, but didn't laugh, didn't echo the teasing sentiment of his friend.
Ariana studied his profile. Her deputy certainly was a great actor. If she didn't know better, she'd believe he meant every word.
CHAPTER TWELVE
It was nearly two a.m. before the guys extinguished the fire. Scott complained he was tired, but from the way he hurried after Jen to his truck, Ariana was pretty sure he had other things in mind besides sleep.
Luke and Lily called it a night as well, which meant she and Milo needed to follow suit or appear suspicious. Lily carted over the extra bedding to Milo's truck, and Luke was kind enough to give Ariana his pillow.
Beneath the soft glow of the moon, Milo spread the quilts on the bed of his truck before laying the sleeping bag over them. He sighed. Then he picked everything up and put the sleeping bag bottom first this time. "I hope we don't freeze our asses off, but I think we'll be more comfortable this way."
She eyed the makeshift bed with trepidation. It wasn't a real bed. There would be others not far away. Unfortunately, there was maybe five feet from side to side, and that felt pretty damn intimate to her. How was she supposed to fall asleep next to the man who haunted her dreams?
Milo tossed the pillow to one side of the truck before walking to the tailgate. He extended a hand down to her. She grasped it, put one foot on the bumper, and he hauled her up.
He folded the quilts out of the way, and she stepped forward. "This is kind of awkward," she said in a low tone the others wouldn't hear. "Us sleeping together but not really sleeping together."
The low rumble of his laugh sparked shivers inside her. "Think we can behave?"
"We have to, don't we?"
"Yes." His reply was firm, but edgy, too. The sparks between them were undeniable. It was easier to ignore her attraction when they weren't in such close proximity, but that wasn't an option tonight.
She lay down next to him, leaving as much space between them as possible. He pulled the layers of quilts over them. "Warm enough?"
"I'm good." Between his shirt, the blankets, and being so close to him, lack of heat was not an issue. The uneven surface of the truck bed, however, wasn't exactly a comfy mattress, but she wouldn't complain. She fluffed the feather pillow and tucked it beneath her head.
Milo released a weighted breath. Darkness and silence crept in, making it seem like they were cocooned in their own little world. The stars above glimmered like they'd done for centuries, and suddenly, everything about her life growing up in Chicago seemed surreal. "It's funny how looking up at a sky full of stars can make you feel insignificant. Like all your problems are almost silly."
"Having a price on your head isn't insignificant."
"But it is. If I were to die, look at the millions of other souls here on earth that would fill in and take my place. I'm just a tiny drop in the world's bucket."
He shifted, tilting his head to face her. "Maybe to the world, but to those who know and care about you, your loss would be devastating."
"Maybe for my best friend, but I'm guessing that would be all."
Silence crept in for several beats. "It would devastate me."
His admission scratched at a long-held scar. "Only because it would mess with your confidence to protect the fine citizens of this county. Not because I would be gone. You don't know me well enough to miss me."
He rolled onto his side. "How can you say that? We've been together 24 hours a day for more than two weeks." He flattened out on the truck bed and huffed. "I know you better than you think."
It was her turn to lift up on her elbow. "Really? What is it you think you know so well?"
"You like your coffee black."
She snorted. "So does half the world."
"You enjoy a long bubble bath."
"How do you know that?"
"There's always bubbles left in the tub when you're finished, and they smell good, like you."
Her heart squeezed, leaving a too-familiar ache. "Still, that comes from spending time together, not really getting to know each other." She lay back down. He didn't know her at all.
Another minute of silence passed before he spoke again. "You're an extremely brave person who wants nothing more than to be loved." His quiet words were a dagger ripping into the dark corners of her heart. "Your family, who should have loved you, didn't. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but they, maybe your father, hurt you deeply. At first, I thought you were testifying to get some sort of revenge for being ignored, but now, I think it's something more."
The ache inside her swelled, closing her throat and forcing tears into her eyes. She steeled her jaw and focused on the vast dark sky, willing it to steal her away into the night.
"Am I close?"
He waited several moments, but she couldn't answer. With only a few words, he'd laid bare her soul. Throughout her life, she'd done an excellent job keeping people from breaching that barrier, but now that Milo had, she was clueless on how to protect herself.
"Ariana?" He rolled toward her, his fingers searching out her face, finding her damned tears. "Shit," he said under his breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."
He drew a rough thumb beneath each of her eyes, dragging her tears across her cheeks. She pushed him away, embarrassed that he'd seen through her carefully crafted mask so easily.
"I'm such an ass." He scooted closer beneath the blankets and pulled her against his chest. She wanted to resist, but having a soft place to fall was worth more than her pride. She curled against him, allowing her distress to eek away from her little by little.
She waited until she'd regained control of her emotions before she spoke. "My father is a ruthless man who dominates his world with a merciless and vile fist." Her first words were followed by a shuddering sigh, and she hesitated a moment to see what would follow.
Relief. The tiniest bit of relief soaked into her. Kenzie had a good idea what her family life had been like, but Ariana had never told her everything. Because of that, Ariana had never experienced the release that came with exposing her tragedies.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against her hair. "No person should have to grow up like that."