by Cindy Stark
"Many do, though. I suppose I was lucky that at least I had money to spend. My father took great pride in the fact that we wore designer clothes, that my brother and I attended the finest schools."
"Don't justify his behavior, Ariana."
She blew out a deep breath. "I'm not. Those things he did for us, well at least for me, were like paying to have the landscape meticulously maintained. It was for show. No one would ever accuse him of not having the best of everything. His children were an extension of that." She rested a shaking hand on Milo's chest, his heart pounding against her palm, strong and sure. "My brother is a little different. He's being groomed to take over in the organization, but I'm not sure my father has shown him love, either. Maybe."
She lifted her head, needing to see the expression on Milo's face. "My testimony will likely harm my brother, too."
He gave her a consoling smile and hugged her to him. "And that bothers you."
"It does." Fresh tears pooled in her eyes. "He's never had a choice concerning his future, either. This was forced upon him."
"It's okay, Ariana. You're doing the right thing. I'm not going to say it's not going to cost your brother time in a cell, but in the long run, you may be saving him. He'll have the opportunity to reform, and depending upon what crimes he's committed, he may not serve that many years. Or maybe he'll turn state's evidence and be given a reprieve."
Another layer of worry fell away. "I hadn't thought of that."
He caressed the side of her cheek, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Think of the people you might be saving from dying at his hand. In effect, you'll be saving your brother's soul."
She nodded. "Thank you for saying this to me. I can't tell you how much it helps."
"Are you worried about sending your father to prison, too?"
"No." Her conviction echoed in her reply. "I hope he rots."
"I kind of figured that. Can you tell me about him?"
A fistful of pain lodged in her throat. It was several moments before she could swallow past it. He'd trusted her with his hurts. Maybe she could trust him, too. "I'm not sure I can," she managed.
He hugged her tighter. "It's okay. You don't have to."
She lay on his chest several moments, listening to the crickets chirp, letting the feel of him comfort her. "I was in love once. When I was sixteen."
"Yeah?" His voice was lighter, as though he believed she'd changed the subject. "Not since sixteen?"
She couldn't answer that question, couldn't comment on what she'd dealt with in the years since Danny's death. "His name was Danny. His father worked for mine. That's how we met." A painful smile trembled on her lips as she remembered how much she'd loved to spend time with him roaming the streets and hanging out in abandoned warehouses, tossing rocks into the river, and how she'd loved it when he'd kissed her. Back before her father paid much notice to her.
"Danny," Milo repeated. "I might be a little jealous of him." He chuckled.
"No." She shook her head. "My father caught us together one night." She paused, but Milo remained silent. "The night I lost my virginity."
"Ariana," Milo whispered, his voice no longer upbeat. "No."
She tried to inhale a calming breath, but her tight lungs only allowed air in tiny, ragged increments. "My father tortured him, forcing me to watch."
He put a hand against her cheek. "You don't have to do this."
"Before he killed him, he had someone cut off his…" The horrible memories fired in her brain with enough power to make her shudder.
Milo tightened his arms around her, crushing her against his chest. "It's…God, I don't even know what to say to that. Just know, he'll never do it again."
"I know. That's why I have to testify. Even if Kenzie begged me not to. I owe that to Danny and to all the people he still may hurt if I don't do what I can to stop him."
He kissed the top of her head, sending a scattering of peace over her. "You are an amazing woman, Ariana. Not many would dare go up against that kind of person."
"It was my fault he died, Milo. If Danny hadn't loved me, he'd still be alive."
"You don't know that, Ariana. He might have followed in his father's footsteps and found himself mixed up with the wrong people anyway. You have to let that guilt go."
"Maybe after I testify I'll be able to. It kind of feels like things have come full circle. Maybe gaining a new life and a new identity will help me to move on. I'd like to be able to do that."
"You should."
"In some ways, you and I are similar. We're both carrying around some serious baggage."
He inhaled a deep breath, his chest expanding against her cheek. "Yours is a little different than mine."
"How? We both feel responsible for another person's death."
"First, you were a kid. Second, it was my job to protect Jane."
"Still, maybe it's time to let go."
"I'd like to, Ariana, but it's not that easy. Sometimes I wonder if it will haunt me until the end of my days."
She lifted off his chest, gazing at his face in the moonlight. A good-hearted man hid beneath the exterior of her sexy deputy. "Thank you for listening. I've never been able to talk about this with anyone, but telling you feels like I've dropped a boulder of guilt. I just wish I could give you the same kind of peace."
* * *
Ariana woke with a start. She wasn't sure how many hours had passed since she and Milo had drifted off to sleep, but she was freezing, and her right hip hurt from pressing into the truck bed. She rolled onto her back and looked in Milo's direction. Clouds had covered the moon, leaving utter darkness to settle around them. If she hadn't been able to hear his deep breathing, she might wonder if he had deserted her. She slid a hand across the sleeping bag and came in contact with the hard muscles of his stomach.
She hated to admit it, but she found him more attractive now that he'd shared his vulnerable side. Plus, he had learned the worst about her and hadn't judged. Words couldn't express how grateful she was for that.
She fluffed her pillow and closed her eyes, trying to will herself back to sleep. They'd stayed up late, so it couldn't be too long before the sun rose over the hills. She could manage until then.
A restless few minutes passed and then she heard movement. Scuffling on the ground, a rustling of the bushes. Something was in their camp.
Her breathing grew shallow as she tried to discern which direction the sounds came from. It was close. For all she knew, it could be a bear or something. She really had no idea what kind of wild animals roamed the area, but something was out there. She swore it was getting closer.
Fear drove her to ply herself against Milo. She put her mouth to his ear. "Milo," she whispered. He moaned, but didn't wake. "Milo."
Before she could comprehend what was happening, Milo wrapped steel-banded arms around her middle and tossed her on her back, covering her in a dominant position. Thoughts of what was outside the truck bed took a secondary position to the hulking man on top of her.
"Milo," she squeaked. "Get off me."
He didn't move. She couldn't see his face to know if he was wide awake or tossing her in his dreams.
"There's something out there," she tried again.
"I hear it," he whispered back.
Relief flooded her. He was awake and coherent. "Could it be my father's men?" She hadn't been able to think those thoughts a moment before while Milo had been asleep.
"Shh…"
Her quick reprieve shifted back to worry.
"Not a person. Mountain lion, maybe," he whispered.
Adrenaline kicked in. "What?" she squeaked. She tried to move, but he had her pinned.
"I'm just kidding, darlin'." His deep chuckle vibrated through the darkness. "It's most likely a raccoon. Nothing big that's going to get you."
It took a few seconds for his words to register. "You..." She pushed against him, trying to decide if she was grateful their lives weren't in danger, or if she was mad at him for teasing her.
/> "Sorry, but that's what happens when you wake me from a hot-as-hell dream. I can't have you in real life, but damn…"
The adrenaline rushing through her veins took a sharp curve toward long-thwarted need. "You were dreaming about me?" Acute awareness of his muscled body pressed to hers flooded her brain. Her breasts pushed against him with each breath she took, and the evidence of his physical need for her wouldn't be ignored.
"Yeah." His admission came out as a breathless whisper. "I just, uh…I should move off you, but you feel so damn good, Ariana."
She loved the way he said her name, sounding a little sleepy, and more than a little turned on. "What were we doing in your dream?" She shouldn't have asked, but she wanted to share the fantasy.
"Mmm…" The sound rumbled in his chest. "It kind of started out like the night we played poker. You were doing this sexy kind of strip tease dance for me. You wore this lacy turquoise bra that played peek-a-boo with your nipples."
She swallowed, trying to wet her dry mouth. With just a few words, he'd sucked her into his heated dream. She wanted to do that dance for him. She wanted to turn him on. Wanted him to feel the aching need that she experienced over and over again every day they were together.
"You slipped off your jeans and your turquoise panties looked like the ones you had on at the river."
"I still haven't forgiven you for peeking," she said, breathless.
He rolled off her with a groan. "Oh God, Ariana. How could I not? You're the…sexiest thing that's ever stumbled into my life. From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. But you're like the sweetest piece of candy I can't have. The more I know you, the more I like you, but I can never have you. It's a sick game the fates are playing with my head. Forgive me for my moment of weakness."
His words stunned her. She'd known she'd caught his eye, but she had no idea he experienced the attraction to the degree she did. He might not agree they should have their moment in time, but she couldn't be sure she'd ever feel like this again, and she wasn't about to miss the opportunity.
She slid next to him, snuggling a leg between his and resting her head on his chest.
"What are you doing?"
"Shh…" It was her turn to silence him. She took his face in her hands, finding his lips with her thumbs. He didn't move as she slid her mouth across his. The warm, soft feel of him against her was all the encouragement she needed.
She paused, rubbing a thumb across his bottom lip, reveling in the moisture she'd left there. Still, he didn't move. Stubble tickled her fingers as she traced them along his jaw.
She kissed him again, adding pressure to his lips this time, sucking his bottom lip, and running her tongue along the crease of his mouth.
Soft streams of moonlight returned as he growled and rolled her over, once again pinning her down. He held her wrists on the pillow next to her head. "We can't do this."
"Why?" She wasn't going to take no for an answer this time.
"It's unethical."
"The hell it is. You're not working in an official capacity. You're doing a favor for a friend." She tried to wriggle free, but he was too strong. "This is right, Milo. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not ever again, but for tonight, it's meant to be."
"I'd be using you when you're vulnerable."
"Don't tell me that. I might be in a state of flux, but I'm far from broken. We deserve to be happy. Making love with you will make me happy." She tried to break loose again, but couldn't. "Are you saying you don't want me?"
He remained silent, and she could sense the war raging inside him.
"Let me go, Milo."
He released her wrists, but still hovered above her.
She ran her hands beneath his shirt and up his sides, his skin warm and taut beneath her fingers. She hadn't touched anything quite so wonderful. "I want you," she whispered. "Please don't deny me."
She slid her arms around his neck and tugged on him until he surrendered. His lips met hers in a frantic kiss, as though now that he'd reconsidered, she'd somehow disappear. His tongue tangled with hers as he possessed her mouth, tasting, demanding. His kisses threatened to steal her soul.
"Milo," she whispered when he pulled away, afraid that by breathing, she'd broken the spell.
"I can't do this. It goes against everything I've believed."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Ariana climbed on top of Milo, straddling his waist. "It goes against what you thought was right, but maybe things aren't that way. Maybe this is right." She slipped his flannel shirt from her shoulders and the tank top over her head. Night air caressed her, cooling her heated skin.
He watched, an enthralled look on his face as she took his hand, cupping her breast. She sighed as he rubbed a thumb across the lace covering her nipple, sending an explosion of excited shivers through her. It didn't take much to break him.
He teased her bud until it strained against the black lace of her bra. "Oh," he said on a breath. "Ariana." He lifted his other hand, claiming both breasts. She leaned into his touch, allowing him to take the full weight of them as he molded her to his hands.
He slipped his fingers around her back and undid the clasp of her bra. Her unrestrained breasts fell forward, heavy and aching with desire. He captured a nipple, sucking her inside his hot mouth, making her muscles clench. A second later a breathtaking firebomb of desire erupted inside her.
She sucked in a ragged breath of fresh mountain air, trying to regain some semblance of control. She'd never known a man's touch could be so powerful.
"Damn," he whispered.
Her brain spun in a million different directions, focusing on sensation and ignoring any sensible thoughts. The only thing she knew was she needed more of him touching her and tasting her.
Her slack bra fell off with a shrug, and she jerked at the button at her waist. It popped open, and she unzipped her pants.
"Whoa, darlin'." He stilled her hands. "There's no hurry. If we're going to do this, I intend to enjoy every second of it. We've got a couple of hours before the sun comes up."
The thought of making love to Milo for hours was more than she could have asked for.
"I just, I want you to touch me before I wake up and realize this is a dream."
"Trust me. This is so much better than a dream." He tugged her down with him, onto the sleeping bag. "Get under here with me. It's cold out there." He pulled the quilts up around them and then rolled partially on her, covering her thighs with his leg. "I can't believe I let you talk me into this."
"Touch me, Milo." The center of her ached for him like a sinner at heaven's gate craving forgiveness. This was nothing like the innocent attraction and awkward first time she'd had with Danny. The intensity was a thousand times as strong.
He drew a finger across the top elastic of her panties and slowly traced upward. She shivered as he neared her breasts, but instead of touching her there, he continued through the valley to her collarbone where he followed along its lines. "Is this good?"
"No, not even. Don't tease me, Milo."
He trailed down, caressing the sensitive flesh on the underside of her breast, and the ache rose to a new level. "How about this?"
"Better." She shifted and closed her eyes on a moan when he circled her nipple with his tongue. The open air reacted with her wet areola, tightening it, sending a ripple effect straight to her core.
He cupped her breast, massaging the mound upward and forcing her nipple out. He nipped her and another brilliant explosion tore through her.
"Milo," she whispered. "I need you now." She recognized the fact that she'd had very little experience with men, and that she probably came across as a novice, but the building sensation between her legs demanded a proper release. "I can't wait."
Milo chuckled. His warm lips covered hers, stealing her attention away from other areas, but not for long. Soon his hand slipped along the edge of her panties again, this time dipping beneath the silky fabric. She gasped against his mouth as she arched to give him better access. "Yes." He wa
s so close.
"Ariana." He gazed into her face, but the moonlight behind him hid his expression.
Tiny sensations burst as he crossed her mound. She inhaled in anticipation as he slipped between her folds.
"Good God almighty. You're so wet."
"I know," she whispered in a shivered breath. Her body acted of its own accord. She whimpered as he drove a finger inside, making her arch, and increasing her hunger for him.
What he'd found there must have changed his mind about going slow. He nearly ripped her panties and jeans from her body and discarded his clothes just as quickly. He fussed for a minute with a condom before he pulled her against him, resting a naked thigh between hers. His rock hard penis pressed against her hip, tempting and taunting her.
"Oh, God, Ariana. This is just…" He claimed her mouth in a possessive, dominating kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him to her. He was so close, and she wasn't going to let him go. Not until he gave her what she craved.
He cupped her, dipping another finger inside. "Shit." He rolled on top of her, spreading her thighs with his knees. "I can't wait, either."
She smiled as he positioned his penis at her apex and buried himself inside her. She cried out as he filled her, and she hurried to cover her mouth so she wouldn't wake the others.
"Damn, you're tight."
"Don't stop," she gasped as pain-tainted pleasure rushed through her.
He thrust again, stretching her to accommodate him.
She knew she would be taut. She'd only ever made love the one time.
With each stroke, her body softened and warmed. She loved the sensation of him filling her and then leaving a void, only to fill it again. The feel of him slipping into her was beyond compare. He was so large and hard, and it was as though each thrust claimed another piece of her, leaving her in awe of this powerful act.
She angled her hips to give him greater access, and she swore she could feel him hit rock bottom. Another shiver of desire raced through her at the thought. "More," she whispered.
He pulled from her and rolled her over as though she was nothing but a ragdoll. He lifted her bottom until she was on all fours. Grasping her hips, he filled her again, hitting different muscles, creating a mass of delicious sensations. She gripped the sleeping bag as he slammed into her, her breasts tingling as they rocked each time he drove inside.