They’d been close by, and Hannah had only taken her eyes off Sam for one moment. That moment had been enough, though, and the unforgivable part of it all was that Hannah’s eyes had been on Matt. All of her attention had been on Matt, and she’d let Sam wander off.
She swallowed hard, trying to control her panic. This wasn’t the same as leaving her family and following John halfway around the world. She hadn’t abandoned Sam in favour of Matt. All the same, when Matt delivered Sam into her arms, she hugged her son as tightly as she could.
‘Mum... Mum, you’re squeezing me.’ Sam’s tears had disappeared as abruptly as they’d appeared, and he was wiping his nose on the shoulder of her best dress. Still holding onto her son, Hannah managed to swipe her own tears away before either Matt or Sam could notice them.
‘I’m sorry, sweetie. The swans are pretty big close up, aren’t they?’
Sam nodded. ‘I think it might have eaten me. But it didn’t.’
‘No, of course it didn’t. Swans don’t eat little boys, they eat lettuce. We just have to make sure that we stay away from them when they get out of the water. If they get frightened and flap their wings, they could hurt us.’ Hannah managed a smile and Sam cheered up immediately, eyeing the swan as it drifted serenely at the water’s edge.
‘How big are they when they flap their wings?’ Now that he was safe in her arms, he was clearly thinking about the logistics of the matter. ‘Not as big as Matt.’
‘No, not as big as Matt.’
‘That’s all right, then.’ Sam had assessed the situation with a child’s logic, and decided that Matt’s presence made everything all right. It was a very tempting conclusion to make, and Hannah resisted it.
Sam’s assertion didn’t seem to be convincing Matt either. He still seemed distressed about the incident. But he smiled, taking his car keys from his pocket.
‘Would you like to try out the computer in my car?’ He’d obviously seen Sam’s interest in the dashboard, and seemed to be trying his best to make things up to Sam. The little boy slithered down from her arms, running to Matt.
‘Yes!’
‘You’ve done it now. We’ll be here all evening while he switches things on and off.’
Matt didn’t seem to mind that. He didn’t mind finger-marks on the high-tech touchscreen controls either. In the end, Hannah called a halt to the endless questions, and Sam was strapped firmly into his car seat for the drive home.
The house was still dark, and Hannah let Sam run past her into the sitting room. ‘Would you like to come in for some coffee?’ The words flew recklessly from her lips, and when he shook his head it was almost a relief.
‘Thanks, but you probably need to get Sam to bed now.’
‘Yes, any minute now he’s going to realise that he’s tired and keel over.’
Matt nodded. ‘I’d best get going. I’ll see you next week.’
She couldn’t turn away from him. She needed him to touch her, just once, before she let him go. Hannah reprimanded herself. Had she forgotten already what had happened the last time she’d gazed at Matt, her attention only on him and not on what Sam had been doing?
A thump from the sitting room settled the question.
‘I’d better go and see what he’s up to. Goodnight, Matt. And thank you.’
‘Thank you. I really enjoyed tonight.’ For one moment, the heat of his gaze seemed like the touch of a lover. Then he turned quickly, walking to his car.
CHAPTER NINE
MATT HAD BEEN thinking about the swan all week. He’d rationalised it. The beautiful creature, gliding over the water with barely a ripple in its wake, had turned so quickly into a lumbering, terrifying threat. It was all about his internal child, and how his father’s moods had turned on a whisper into something dark and dangerous.
But he still couldn’t get the picture of Sam, standing paralysed by fear, out of his head. The boy had recovered quickly, but it had shaken Matt to the core.
He wanted so much to love Hannah. He was rapidly beginning to care for Sam as well, and Matt wanted to protect the boy. But he’d been taught a valuable lesson, which he should heed. Love had its responsibilities, and it would be better never to love than to fail the people he cared about.
But today he didn’t need to fall in love with her. He just needed to win. They needed to tap into the connection they’d made and win.
His senses had become attuned to the sight of the red T-shirt. It was a precursor of all the other delights, her scent and her smile, and when he caught sight of it he couldn’t help a thrill of anticipation.
‘Hey, Flash...’ He walked up behind her, murmuring the words, as she stood alone looking at the large marquee that had been erected in the grounds of the fourth hospital. She whirled around, reddening a little, as if he’d caught her thinking something she shouldn’t.
‘Hey. Are you ready, Robin?’
‘One hundred percent.’ More, if that were possible. If wanting to do anything for your partner counted, then they’d win by a mile.
‘Sorry. I’ve only got ninety-nine...’
He grinned. ‘That’ll do.’
‘I hope so.’ She turned the corners of her mouth down. ‘I’m still having a little trouble with my knee. Not so you’d notice, but I get a few twinges when I run.’
That was new. Hannah wasn’t just admitting a weakness, she was asking for his help and encouragement. It was a surprising start to the day.
If he needed to, he’d pick her up and carry her across whatever finish line lay ahead of them. The thought was unexpectedly sweet. But if wanting your teammate so badly that he thought it would crush him at times was an unorthodox incentive, he’d take it. Whatever it took to win.
‘I can run for both of us. Anyway, they’ll have to ring the changes at some point and concentrate on our medical skills, so hopefully there won’t be too much running.’
‘Yeah. We’ll be okay.’ She gave him a smile that reverberated through his whole being.
For the first time, all of the contestants were gathered together to hear their challenge for the day. A succession of medical problems that had been devised to test their skills under pressure. The marquee was divided up into four consulting areas, each with a camera and a judge in attendance.
‘Thank goodness.’ Hannah walked towards the red team’s compartment, and Matt saw a little stiffness in the way that she moved. Ninety-nine percent had been an exaggeration—he calculated that she was only eighty percent fit.
They had ten minutes to arrange their workspace. A temporary floor was laid, and the cubicle was furnished with an examination couch and a desk, two chairs on either side of it.
‘What do you say we get rid of this?’ Matt gestured towards the desk.
‘Good idea.’
He pulled the desk back, grouping the four chairs in front of it. Hannah nodded her approval.
‘That’s better. Nothing to separate us from our patients.’
‘Right. Are we all set?’
‘Just about.’ Hannah pulled the phone over to the other side of the desk, so that it was in reach, and picked up the thick pad of paper. ‘You talk and I’ll write?’
She was deferring to his status as a senior doctor. Matt didn’t have a lot of time for that, Hannah’s experience was different but no less valuable. ‘We’ll take turns.’
The challenge started in earnest, and their patients came thick and fast. In the few moments he could spare to think about anything other than the problem before him, Matt was impressed with the way that their obviously healthy patients had been schooled in exactly what symptoms they should be showing, and made up to give all of the appearance of having various complaints. There were a few very minor injuries, one of which concealed a greater problem. Hannah had a way of quickly spotting the difference between a teenager who just required a plaster on his finger and a
woman whose black eye was as a result of difficulties with her balance.
Matt found a case of unregulated diabetes, and called for emergency support. When a man appeared with a well-designed glove over his hand and arm, made of practice suture skin, which had been slashed to imitate a deep cut, Hannah smilingly moved to one side while he stitched it. As the man left, a bell rang and the judge, who had been sitting silently in the corner, told them that they had a thirty-minute break.
‘Good thing we have a surgeon on the team. I learned something.’ Hannah was making for the exit of the marquee and Matt followed her.
‘Where are we going?’
‘Canteen. That’s my area of expertise, I know where the canteen and the washrooms are in every hospital in the district. Sophie and I sometimes end up here with patients for the specialist burns unit.’
‘I think I must be getting soft...’ It was a long time since he’d seen so many different people in just three hours, and it looked as if there would be more this afternoon.
Hannah’s assessing glance almost made him blush. Matt hadn’t realised he’d retained that ability. Today was turning into a walk down memory lane, in more ways than one.
‘No. You’re not getting soft.’
* * *
Coffee, protein and calories. Matt hadn’t lost the knack of pacing himself, and eating for staying power. He added two bottles of water and a couple of energy bars to his tray, and they took them with them when they hurried back to the marquee.
He was a delight to watch. Confident and yet always on the lookout to make sure there was nothing he’d missed. Hannah had learned a few things from him during the course of the morning, and yet he was always happy to stand back and let her work when her own knowledge and skills were most useful to them.
They were a dream team. Very different but able to work together. If they didn’t win today, it wouldn’t be for want of trying, and certainly not through any lack of expertise. Matt’s specialty might be surgery, but he had an encyclopaedic knowledge of many other aspects of medicine.
Whatever happened, they could hold their heads high in the knowledge that they’d given this their best shot. They could go back to their jobs on Monday...
Hannah tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She loved her job, but it didn’t bring her into contact with Matt on a daily basis. Losing him seemed suddenly worse than losing their chance at the prize for their hospital.
They worked until they were both exhausted. Another three hours, and then a half-hour break before a final three hours. When the judge told them that they were finished, she flopped into her chair, puffing out a sigh.
‘Whatever happens...’ Matt sat down, catching her gaze. Those blue eyes were always like a sensual tide, washing over her.
‘Whatever happens, we gave it our best shot. Thank you so much, Matt.’
‘It’s been a privilege.’
The feeling of wanting to reach for him was tearing her apart and he seemed to understand that. He glanced up at the cameras mounted around the edges of the compartment, quirking his lips down. The touch of his long fingers, moving slightly on the arm of his seat, seemed designed only for her.
That was all there was. Something unspoken. The heat of his gaze and the sudden and certain knowledge that he felt something too. Something that neither of them could act upon.
‘How long do you think it’ll be?’ Two minutes of this was delicious. Any more and the longing for what she couldn’t have would turn to torture.
‘She said half an hour. And I know just how to spend it...’
Here? In front of the cameras? Hannah dragged her imagination away from the only thing that she could think of right now, the caress of his lips on hers. He couldn’t possibly mean that...
‘How’s that?’
‘Get on the couch.’ Her eyebrows shot up and Matt grinned, as if he knew exactly what she’d been thinking. ‘I’d like to take a look at your knee. Assuming it’s not okay, that is.’
Hannah grinned. ‘Of course it’s okay, what else did you expect? I’ll humour you, though.’
‘Thank you. I’d appreciate it.’
She sat on the edge of the couch, swinging her feet. Matt nodded towards the leg of her sweatpants, and Hannah rolled it up, taking off the support he’d given her last week.
He flexed her leg up and down, his fingers resting lightly on the side of her knee, on just the spot that it hurt. ‘There’s still some inflammation there.’
‘I haven’t had much chance to rest it. But even if we do win, it’s two weeks before the finals.’
‘Yeah. You know what to do, keep going with the ice, and try to stay off it as much as you can. If it gets any worse then you might need a short course of anti-inflammatories.’
Hannah nodded, wrapping the support back around her knee and getting to her feet. A sharp stab of pain told her that she’d got it wrong and the support needed some adjustment.
‘Let me...’ He bent down and suddenly his gaze met hers. The now familiar chemistry started to fizzle between them, and Hannah jerked backwards.
‘No, I’ll do it.’ She willed him to understand what she didn’t say.
Not in front of the cameras.
He nodded. Neither of them could deny it any more, but that was between the two of them. They could hide it from everyone else.
They walked companionably out of the tent, wandering down to greet Sam and her mother. Everything as it should be. The light in his eyes had been quenched, and Matt was just a teammate again.
The wait wasn’t so bad. Hannah concentrated on Sam, and going to get ice cream for everyone took up a few minutes. Then they were called to the stage to hear the judges’ verdict.
If Matt felt anything, then he was hiding it well. He smiled at the other competitors, seeming more relaxed than anyone as they chatted together. The challenges had brought all eight of them together, and whoever went on to the finals would do so with the blessing of the others.
There was the usual preamble...thanking everyone for being here, praising each of the teams and giving everyone a special mention. Then the verdict.
‘This has been more than just a competition. We’ve seen all our teams hold true to their values and exhibit bravery and determination. Our winners today will be going forward to represent Hertfordshire in the finals, and we wish them well in the challenges to come. Ladies and gentlemen... Matt and Hannah!’
There was a roar of applause that seemed to come from somewhere very far away. Hannah hardly heard the congratulations from the other teams, and barely felt the hands that shook hers.
‘Matt...?’
He was there. The only thing that was real. Matt grinned at her, hugging her in the kind of bear hug that a teammate might give. They’d done it. Despite everything, they’d really done it.
She received her medal, and then turned back, beckoning to the others to come forward. This moment was for everyone. The roar of the crowd increased as all eight of the competitors joined them, waving to the crowd.
It was surreal. She had what she’d wanted, and now she couldn’t see any way forward from here. She had to talk to Matt, somewhere alone.
* * *
Something was up. Matt could see it in Hannah’s demeanour, and feel it, nagging away in his own chest. There were issues, ones of their own making, and they both knew it.
It wouldn’t have mattered so much if they’d lost. They could have bowed out gracefully, congratulating the winners and knowing they’d given it their best shot. Hannah would have disappeared back into her world, and he could have gone back to his. Whether or not he got the job down in London, he’d be gone soon. Matt knew that there would be other opportunities, and that his decision that it was about time he moved on was the driving factor in making those opportunities into a reality.
‘Would you like t
o pop back to mine for a quick coffee? It’s on your way home, and maybe we can plan our next move.’ His offer was deliberately casual, as if this was just a matter of teammates sitting down together for half an hour to talk. But those moments alone with her in the tent had persuaded him that they did need to talk and that the conversation might not be an easy one.
‘That’s a good idea.’ She glanced back towards Sam and her mother. ‘I’ll just let Mum know that I’ll be back home later.’
He nodded. He knew what would come next. Watching while Sam and Hannah performed the victory dance, and Hannah draped her medal around her son’s neck. He’d seen them do it before, but it never ceased to delight him, and he stared at them, hungry for every moment of the little ceremony.
He gave her the address, and saw her car following his through the Saturday evening traffic, back to the flat close to the hospital that he’d occupied for the last year. When Hannah parked behind him, and he led the way upstairs to his front door, it seemed that he’d merely occupied it. It wasn’t a home, the way her house was.
‘This is nice.’ She looked around when he ushered her into the sitting room. Tidy and impersonal, all of the furniture selected by the landlord. It was pretty much the same as the day he’d walked in here, apart from the clothes in the wardrobe and the two boxes of his most valued possessions that were stored in the cupboard in the hallway.
‘It’s...close to the hospital.’ The large windows gave a great view of the centre of the town, and the hospital was within walking distance.
‘It has loads of potential.’
Yeah. Potential. There wasn’t much point in realising that potential, because he’d always known that he’d be moving on. Having to tear yourself away from a place that he’d made into a home wasn’t something that Matt ever reckoned on doing.
‘I just wanted to talk.’ Now that they were here, he didn’t know how to put it into words. The situation was clear enough, the irresistible attraction that they’d found together was real, but it wasn’t something that he could act on. Putting that tactfully and yet clearly was his problem.
Winning the Surgeon's Heart Page 10