Winning the Surgeon's Heart

by Annie Claydon

  Sir James was hanging on to Hannah’s hand, and she leaned forward a little, putting her free hand onto his. Matt knew that look, and the silent invitation to say exactly how he felt. If Sir James could resist it he had more steel in his heart than Matt did.

  ‘I shook their hands. I didn’t have the words to thank them properly, I was so worried about Patti. I’ve always regretted that omission.’ Sir James’s words were directed at Hannah.

  ‘Trust me, they knew. Seeing a loved one suffer a heart attack is frightening and distressing, and when someone manages to overcome that to shake my hand, it means everything to me. That, and Patti’s recovery is all the thanks that they could want.’

  Sir James nodded, letting go of Hannah’s hand. He was a man of few words, but he felt this deeply. He put his arm around his wife, and the couple bade them a cheery goodbye.

  ‘I’m going to hug you. Just as soon as we have a moment alone.’ Matt murmured the words as he offered Hannah his arm across the gravel.

  ‘I’m going to hug you back.’ She turned to give a final wave to their hosts as Matt opened the car door for her. ‘What nice people.’

  ‘You gave Sir James a reason to be generous. I’m proud of you.’ He settled himself into the driver’s seat, waiting for Cecile to come running across from the outside broadcast van and get into the back seat of the car. ‘Where now?’

  ‘Fulham. There’s a shop there that does all the different kinds of specialist seating that we might need and I’d like to try some of them out. Then back to the hotel. I think we can specify the rest of the specialist equipment from the internet.’

  Matt pulled out of the driveway. The stakes were higher now. Hannah had worked so hard for this, and she’d stepped out of her comfort zone when she’d come here. They had to win.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  BY THE TIME Sunday evening rolled around, Matt and Hannah had been working flat out since the media centre had opened on Friday morning and they were both exhausted. Hannah had made the presentation boards, and Matt had worked through the spreadsheet, making sure they were within their budget. They’d printed off the requisite fifteen copies of their detailed presentation and bound them, and they were ready by seven o’clock. She’d called Sam and then joined Matt up in their suite.

  ‘How’s he doing?’ He was sprawled on the sofa, and Hannah moved his leg so that she could sit down, leaning against his knee.

  ‘He’s good. Mum took him to the zoo today, and he had a great time.’

  ‘That’s nice.’ Matt’s eyes were almost closed, and Hannah’s were sore and prickling from lack of sleep as well. ‘Is it too early to go to bed?’

  ‘No. Considering we had two hours’ sleep last night, I think it’s acceptable. I think I feel worse than if I’d worked straight through.’ Hannah yawned.

  ‘Nah. A few hours is better than nothing. Will you take it the wrong way if I take you into the bedroom, rip all of your clothes off and then go to sleep?’

  ‘You’ve got the energy to rip my clothes off?’ Hannah teased him.

  ‘No, not really. On second thoughts you might have to do that yourself. Finishing the presentation is about as much gratification as I can take tonight.’ Matt gave her a lazy smile. ‘I may well feel differently in the morning.’

  Sleep and then Matt’s embrace. It sounded like heaven. ‘Thank you, Robin. For everything. I wouldn’t be here without you.’

  ‘Thank you, Flash. I wouldn’t be here without you.’

  * * *

  Monday had been set aside for the judges to talk to the competitors about their projects, and there was also time to see the other teams’ proposals. Their phones had been returned, and Hannah couldn’t wait for Sam to get home from school so that they could video call and she’d be able to show him what she’d been doing, and where she was staying.

  The hospitals that were competing had sent representatives to discuss the proposed projects with the judges, so that they could assess their viability. Hannah saw Matt with Dr Gregson, the chairman of the hospital board, the two men chatting affably as they made their way across the room towards her.

  ‘Hannah.’ Dr Gregson held his hand out to her. ‘You and Matt have made the most wonderful effort for the hospital. We’re all enormously grateful to you both. Win or lose.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Hannah took his hand, feeling her ears burn.

  ‘Hannah’s come to an arrangement with Sir James Laurence.’ Matt was grinning.

  ‘You have?’

  She would have preferred a little more time to decide how to put this to Dr Gregson, but he was here now, and obviously pleased with what they’d done. Matt was right, she should strike while the iron was hot.

  ‘I asked him whether he’d be willing to donate the prefab if we didn’t win the contest. We wouldn’t be able to afford to do everything we’d planned, but I told him that I’d raise the money for the sensory rooms myself. If you and the board will agree to it, that is.’

  ‘That’s very enterprising of you.’ Dr Gregson thought for a moment. ‘You have my full support, Hannah. I’m sure the other members of the board won’t need a great deal of persuasion either, I’ve already spoken with some of them on the phone and they’re delighted with your ideas for the project.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Hannah heaved a sigh of relief.

  ‘Of course it may not be necessary.’ Dr Gregson smiled. ‘I may be biased, but your project is the best I’ve seen. We’ll speak again when we find out whether you’ve won.’

  Dr Gregson took his leave of them, and Matt turned to her, smirking. ‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’

  ‘It was horrible, Matt! I could kick you.’

  He assumed a look of innocence. ‘Why? You didn’t have time to get nervous about what you were going to say. And you were perfect, just as you were when you charmed Sir James into giving you a prefab.’

  ‘He didn’t give it to me, he gave it to the hospital. And anyway I didn’t charm him. Our project speaks for itself.’

  ‘It speaks with your voice.’ Matt’s confidence in her always made Hannah smile. ‘I’m going to go and check my email. Will Sam be home from school yet?’

  Hannah looked at her watch. ‘Oh, yes. I’d better call him now, before it’s time for the results to be announced...’

  * * *

  Matt’s email had obviously contained something that had soured his mood. When Hannah took her phone upstairs so that Sam could say hello to him, he was sitting, staring at the wall. He cheered up a little to talk to Sam, but Hannah was sure that his smile wouldn’t last for long after she left him to give Sam a guided tour of the swimming pool and the gym in the basement.

  When she arrived back in the conference room, he seemed cheerful enough. They sat and waited as the final preparations were made, and he curled his fingers around hers. They were both nervous, but being nervous together somehow made it all right.

  Finally the chairman of the judging panel picked up the microphone, and a heavy silence fell. Hannah could feel a bead of sweat running uncomfortably down her back.

  ‘I’m going to keep this short, because everyone wants to know who the winners are. But I want to thank everyone here. The projects you’ve created in a very short time have all shown imagination and flair, and a sound understanding of what your various hospitals need. I gather that a number of your projects will be going ahead, win or lose, and I can only applaud the determination and resourcefulness of all the contestants here this afternoon...’

  Get on with it. Get on with it. Hannah shot Matt an agonised look and he squeezed her hand.

  ‘And now our winners. Hannah and Matt from Hamblewell Hospital.’

  She couldn’t breathe. She was going to have to stand up and walk to the podium, but her legs wouldn’t carry her. Applause started to ripple through the room, and it swelled into a cacophony of sound in her ears.
>
  ‘One last push, Flash...’ She heard Matt’s voice in her ear, and it gave her strength. He rose, following her to the end of the row of chairs and walking beside her to where the judges were waiting to greet them.

  She lost count of the number of hands that she shook. The chairman of the judges handed her a large, golden envelope, and she didn’t dare look inside to make sure that this was real. Matt took the microphone, thanking everyone, and then turned to her.

  ‘I’m not going to ask Hannah to say anything, because I’m not sure that she can...’ He grinned at her as a rumble of laughter spread around the room, and Hannah mouthed a silent, Thank you. She’d only make a fool of herself if she took the microphone now.

  ‘I do want to say one thing, though. This last six weeks has been challenging and the person who’s challenged me most is my teammate. Thank you, Hannah, for being my partner, my guide and my inspiration.’

  She could feel tears rolling down her cheeks. Matt put his arm around her shoulders and she clung onto him. There were more hands to shake, and when Dr Gregson came to congratulate them she pressed the envelope into Matt’s hand for safekeeping. Drinks were passed around, and she took a sip of champagne, feeling too dizzy to drink the rest of it.

  Finally the gathering began to break up. The contestants who came from further afield were going to be staying on at the hotel tonight, but those whose journeys home were shorter were already leaving. She saw Matt signal to her, and followed him out of the room and up to their suite.

  ‘We did it, Matt!’ As soon as the door closed behind them she flung her arms around him. ‘I can’t believe it, I’m so happy.’

  ‘Yeah. We did it.’ He’d been smiling and relaxed downstairs, but suddenly he seemed more tense. Maybe he was thinking about the drive home.

  Or maybe he was thinking about being home. Back to reality. The last four days had been a fantasy, and neither of them had had time to think ahead. But now they had to, because the bubble was about to burst, and when it did they’d have to face all of the issues that threatened to tear them apart.

  But they’d won. That had seemed impossible but they’d done it together. They could do this too, if they wanted to. She could show Matt that his father hadn’t irrevocably soured his life.

  ‘Would you like to go home?’ He was smiling but his eyes had lost their fire.

  ‘Yes, I would. Thank you.’

  He nodded, turning away from her. ‘I’ll finish packing my things. Will you be ready in half an hour?’

  * * *

  They took their leave of everyone, thanking the production team once again and shaking the hands of the contestants who hadn’t left yet. Matt drove in silence, all of his concentration on the road ahead.

  Hannah would wait. They could talk when they got back, and she’d tell him. She could be there for him, if only he’d be there for her. As they turned off the motorway into familiar roads, she began to feel more calm, more certain of what she wanted. This couldn’t be an ending for her and Matt.

  He drew up outside her house, looking at the front door, seemingly deep in thought. Hannah turned to him.

  ‘Should we talk?’

  ‘Don’t you want to go and see Sam?’

  ‘He’ll be in bed, asleep. I didn’t know what time we’d be back, so I told him that I’d be late and that I’d see him tomorrow. He’d only try to stay awake otherwise.’

  Matt nodded. ‘We should talk. Soon.’

  ‘Why don’t I take my bags inside, and we can go for a walk?’ The evening was still warm, even though the light would be fading soon.

  ‘Yeah. That sounds good.’

  He took her bags from the boot, carrying them to the door. Hannah’s mother was waiting for them, and she whispered that Sam had decided that the sooner he went to sleep, the sooner tomorrow would come, and had gone to bed as soon as he was told. Matt waited in the hall while Hannah crept upstairs to see Sam and to blow a kiss to her sleeping boy.

  Her mother hugged her, telling her how proud she was of her, and then let her go. Hannah led Matt along the path that meandered past the houses and down towards the stream that ran along the border between the village and the open countryside.

  ‘Matt, I know we said there would be no strings, and that suited us both. But that doesn’t mean we have to be strangers...’ That was a good start. If they could agree on that, then they could agree to be lovers, too.

  She heard him catch his breath and didn’t dare look at him.

  ‘Hannah, I’m leaving.’

  ‘What!’ This had to be a joke. But when she turned to him, his face was deadly serious. ‘Leaving...where? Where are you going?’

  ‘I’ve been offered a job in London.’

  Hannah took a breath. That didn’t help. ‘And you didn’t tell me? Matt, you slept with me, and you didn’t say anything?’

  ‘I didn’t know. The offer was there when I picked up my email this afternoon.’

  ‘What, and someone just offered you a job out of the blue? You must have known it was a possibility.’

  ‘I didn’t know whether I’d get it or not. But, yes, it was a possibility. I’ve been thinking of moving on for a while now.’

  ‘And you said nothing? You said a lot of things, but you didn’t tell me that.’

  ‘You knew I couldn’t make a commitment, Hannah. You can’t either. We both said it. No strings.’

  ‘Yes, we said no strings. We didn’t do no strings, though, did we...?’ Hannah was almost breathless with anger.

  ‘No. We didn’t.’ He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking at the ground. ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘Well, sorry just won’t do it, Matt. You know I can’t just pick up sticks and follow you...’ Hannah felt tears prick at the corners of her eyes. No one had said anything about her following him. She’d betrayed what she really wanted to do, at just the time when she should have kept quiet about it.

  ‘I know. You have Sam and your mother to think about. I’d never ask you to come with me, it’s not fair.’

  ‘Then why do you have to go?’

  ‘Because... You know why, Hannah. I didn’t believe that I could love you, but I do. And I’m no good at loving anyone...’

  ‘That’s no excuse, Matt. If you loved me, then you wouldn’t have to worry about whether you were good at it or not, you’d just be good at it.’

  He looked up at her, and suddenly Hannah saw the unfairness of it all. She was blaming him for something that wasn’t his fault. Matt was struggling with a terrible legacy of pain, and he couldn’t break free of it. And all she could do was harangue him for it.

  ‘Then maybe I don’t love you after all.’

  His quiet words cut deep. Shaking with the shock of them, Hannah turned, running away from him. Running away from the man that she’d loved who’d hurt her so very badly.

  Maybe he’d follow. She reached her front door, turning to look behind her, and cruel hope tore at her as she saw his shadow, moving towards her. But he was just walking back to his car, and Hannah watched as he opened the door and got inside. After a pause, the lights flipped on and he drove away.

  She couldn’t go inside, not yet. Hannah wiped the tears from her face, trying to compose herself, but it was no use. She walked around the side of the house, sitting down on the steps that led up to the patio, allowing herself to cry in the darkness.

  * * *

  ‘You’re putting a brave face on something.’ Sophie was resting her arms on the steering wheel of the ambulance, tapping her fingers fitfully. Hannah really wished she’d stop it, her nerves were already on edge. ‘You can do that with Sam, I guess that probably goes with the job. You can do it with your mum if you want to, but you can’t with me.’

  Hannah rolled her eyes, unwrapping her sandwiches. ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because I have to put up with you all day. An
d I’m your friend. What happened, Hannah?’

  ‘I’m just a bit tired. It was a tough weekend.’

  ‘Yes, and you’ve had three nights to sleep it off. And you won, doesn’t that make you happy?’

  She’d won nothing. The whole hospital seemed to be celebrating, and it seemed like something that had to be endured.

  ‘It doesn’t make you happy, does it?’ Sophie clearly wasn’t going to give up.

  ‘No.’ Hannah sighed. Sophie was going to find out sooner or later. ‘Matt’s leaving. He’s got a job in London.’

  ‘What?’ Sophie stared at her.

  ‘Yeah. That was my reaction. We had a...thing. And then when we got back, he told me that he was leaving.’

  ‘Just like that?’

  ‘Pretty much.’

  ‘He had sex with you. Then he told you he was leaving.’ Sophie’s lip curled. ‘Just give me ten minutes with him, Hannah. I’m going to hurt that guy.’

  ‘No. You’re not going to hurt him.’ Matt had been hurt enough, and the urge to defend him was stronger than any of the pain that Hannah was feeling. ‘He has his reasons. He’s never stayed in one place for very long, he just can’t do it, and I knew that.’

  ‘What reasons?’

  ‘Good ones.’ Hannah turned the corners of her mouth down. She wanted to tell Sophie, but that would be a betrayal. She raised the sandwich to her lips and her stomach began to lurch. She’d been going through the motions of eating and sleeping for the last three days, and doing little of either.

  ‘Does he think that you’ll follow him?’

  ‘He knows all about John. If I go with him, then I’d feel that I was putting Sam and my mum second, and he knows I can’t do that again.’

  Sophie considered the idea for a moment. ‘Your mum just wants the best for you, you know that. And if you wanted to move to London, then...lots of people move and their kids don’t fall to pieces over it. Sam would probably really like it there, and it’s only thirty miles. It’s practically a commute, lots of people live around here and work in London.’