Autumn Storm

by Lizzy Ford

  Bartholomew spoke. You will only hurt this other girl like you did Summer.

  He was right. Ashamed at disrespecting Summer on the anniversary of the day she died, Decker crouched at the edge of the cliff and stared at where she’d fallen. He could still see her there mentally, her broken body, the blood.

  Summer was sweet, innocent, beautiful. The love in her dark eyes had made him feel like a king, and her touch subdued the part of him he no longer controlled. What would she think if she saw him killing, sleeping around, fantasizing about the blond girl, drinking and doing drugs to make it through the day?

  “I never deserved you, Summer,” he whispered hoarsely. “Everything I touch turns Dark, even you. I’m so sorry.”

  Decker closed his eyes. There was no second chance for him, despite what the blond told him. What did he do, when the girl meant to be his mate was dead? It was his fault she’d died. He’d live with that knowledge the rest of his life, unless he surrendered to the madness to save himself and others. It was for the best; it was the only way to avoid the pain he’d cause everyone.

  Yes, Bartholomew’s voice agreed.

  Decker sensed the sudden arrival of his brother’s Light magick and tensed.

  “I thought you’d be here tonight.”

  “Leave me alone, Beck,” he said quietly.

  “Her death was my fault, too.”

  Decker opened his eyes and looked over his shoulder at his twin. Beck was dressed warmly. He glowed in the night, his Light magick creating a halo around his body.

  “You didn’t push her off the cliff,” Decker snapped.

  “I didn’t protect her from you, either. That’s my duty, Decker. I didn’t do it, and she died.”

  Decker ‘s eyes settled on the spot where Summer landed in the canyon.

  “You’re out of control,” Beck added.

  “I don’t care.”

  “I do.”

  “Can you just give me tonight?” Decker snarled.

  There was a pause. He sensed Beck hesitate.

  “Please, Beck,” he added, a raw note in his voice. “We can fight in the morning.”

  “Okay, Decker.”

  Decker sighed.

  “Can I stay with you?” Beck asked.

  “Yeah.”

  The snow beneath Beck’s boots crunched as he approached. He knelt beside Decker, and they both stared into Miner’s Drop. Decker glanced at his brother, not expecting the pensive, penetrating look Beck gave the canyon. It was almost as if Summer’s death actually meant something to him, too.

  He shouldn’t be surprised. Summer was perfect. She touched the lives of everyone. He shouldn’t feel a streak of jealousy for a dead girl, either. He rolled his shoulders, comforted by his twin’s presence. They’d grown up together, rarely out of each other’s sights. The past few weeks at a new school had left him isolated. He was surprised to realize he missed his brother.

  He couldn’t get drawn in, though. Soon, the Darkness was coming to claim him. He needed that distance between him and everyone else.

  “Biji keeps asking about you,” Beck said.

  Decker smiled at the mention of Summer’s fiery best friend.

  “Why don’t you go see her?”

  “No,” Decker replied. “I have an effect on girls. I don’t want that for Biji.” She’s all that remains of Summer, he added silently.

  “She’s the only one who really knows what happened the night Summer died. Well, aside from Sam, who probably won’t talk anyway. It might help you. Closure or something.”

  Decker was quiet for a moment. “I’m not sure I want to know. It doesn’t matter, does it? I mean, Summer is dead. I don’t want to expose Biji to …me.”

  “You’re probably right. Girls just throw themselves at you,” Beck said with a small laugh. “I’m jealous, but that’s not healthy. Maybe if you figure out how to control your seduction thing, you can go see Biji.”

  Decker shrugged. “I’m fine with not knowing and all the girls. You’ve got little blondie anyway.”

  Beck said nothing. He tensed, though. It wasn’t usual for Beck to consider girls as more than playthings.

  “Don’t worry. I walked away, for the most part,” Decker said, amused his brother might be jealous.

  “Because I interfered before you sank your claws into her.”

  “Not tonight, you didn’t. I found her here again.”

  Beck stared at him. “You’re joking.”

  “No. Standing on the edge, looking into the canyon. Almost like she knew,” Decker said thoughtfully. “Maybe someone told her.”

  “Dammit,” Beck muttered. “I suck at this protector shit.”

  “No, you don’t. You don’t have anyone to teach you how and what to do,” Decker countered, protective of his brother without wanting to be. “Like I said, not much happened. She’s tough enough to face me.”

  “Define not much.” Beck’s voice held a note of anger.

  “You like her that much?” Decker asked, jealousy spiking.

  “Stay away from this one, Decker.”

  “Or what?” he bristled.

  “Don’t you think she’s suffered enough? I mean, what if every halfway decent girl you touch ends up at the bottom of a canyon?”

  Decker flinched as his brother voiced his own fear.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” Beck’s said softly. “I admire her a lot for what she’s been through. She’s a good girl. She doesn’t need either of us in her life.”

  “She needs someone like you maybe. Not me,” Decker said grudgingly, trying to convince himself of the words. He wanted her so bad. “There’s something about her … I can’t place it. I can’t read her, either.”

  “Maybe it’s a sign you shouldn’t,” Beck replied. “Look, I messed up with Summer. Walk away from this one. For me, if nothing else.”

  Decker hesitated then nodded. “I’ll try.”

  “You didn’t tell me what not much means.”

  “A kiss. Nothing else.”

  “You don’t just kiss girls, Decker. You don’t have that much control.”

  Decker rolled his eyes. “I got a call-out. I walked away.”

  Beck was growing tenser. “What would Summer think?”

  Decker said nothing, hating himself. He betrayed Summer. Now Beck knew how weak he was as well.

  “Walk away from her, Decker.”

  He glanced at his twin, not liking how serious Beck was. There was something more to this girl. Maybe Beck was in love with her? Decker didn’t feel guilt; he felt fury building. He suppressed it.

  “She’s in a lot of pain, Beck,” he managed to say in a calm voice. “I don’t think she knows how to ask for help.”

  “Sounds like someone else I know,” Beck said sarcastically.

  “The difference is that no one can help me.” Decker saddened. “No one but Summer. And look how I screwed that up.”

  “We screwed that up.”

  “Whatever.”

  “I’ll do better taking care of Autumn,” Beck added.

  “Autumn? That’s her name?” Decker raised an eyebrow.

  “I know, right? We’re cursed.”

  Decker shook his head. At least he knew never to get involved with a girl named after a season. They were dangerous. They made him feel when he wanted to be numb and surrender to the Darkness.

  His eyes went to his hands. He recalled the look on Autumn’s face when he held them up, and warmth crept up his neck. He honestly hadn’t wanted to scare her, especially now that he knew she was the only one who understood what real pain was. The Darkness had crept upon him, though, when they stood here on the cliff. It was harder and harder to control it, the few times he wanted to.

  “How many tonight?” Beck asked in a hushed voice.

  Decker shrugged.

  “Decker, I know you killed innocent Light witchlings.”

  “In the morning, Beck. Just be my brother tonight.”

  “I’m always
your brother. I worry about you more than you’ll ever know.”

  “Thanks,” Decker said. Desolation crept into him. One day, he knew he’d be at odds with Beck. It was the nature of their duties: Light and Dark needed one another but were in a constant struggle. One day, he’d lose Beck, too, when the madness took him.

  Not tonight, though. Tonight, he had his brother. Tomorrow was a different story. Beck was going to tell him not to kill Light witchlings. If Decker wanted the Darkness to consume him, he’d have to kill more of them. Their battle was about to begin.

  Autumn. A fitting name for the girl who came during the part of his life when he was trying to die.

  Despite his claim not to care, he began to agree with Beck that knowing what happened the night Summer died might help him. Somehow. He wasn’t certain how.

  It won’t help you, Bartholomew disagreed. It might tarnish how you think of her.

  Those words made Decker vow not to ask Biji ever. Summer was the only bright spot in his life. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle discovering what she might’ve done. After all, she’d still be dead, and he’d still be responsible.

  As usual, Bartholomew was right.

  Chapter Nine

  Beck gazed into the canyon. Knowing Decker’s pain and seeing it were two different things. As concerned as he was about his brother, he focused on Autumn finding her way to the cliff again, even after warning her off this morning. She shouldn’t be alone with Decker. He was too unstable, and she hadn’t yet gone through her second trial. Beck wasn’t allowing anyone or anything to interfere with it, no matter how much pain Decker was in.

  Another emotion spiked when Decker said he’d kissed her. Jealousy. Beck wasn’t sure what to do about it. He was attracted to her, but he was attracted to most pretty blonds. This, however, seemed to be more than her adorable features. The combination of sweet and tough made him as interested in interacting in her as he was her slim body.

  Was everything he felt towards her natural, given his duty? He hadn’t thought twice about it, before the pang of jealousy.

  His instincts were quiet. They didn’t know, either, and he wanted to throw something. Decker was being absorbed by the Dark, and Beck didn’t know how to help anyone he was obligated to protect.

  If he failed to keep Autumn and Decker apart until Autumn completed her trial, it’d cost much more than her life. He’d lose everyone. He’d respect Decker’s wishes tonight. In the morning, they’d have a talk, one where he told his brother he couldn’t tolerate the slaughtering of Light witchlings or go near Autumn. He didn’t expect it to go over well.

  Tonight was probably the last night they’d ever sit as brothers.

  “This is so hard,” Beck whispered. “Did you know being … us would be like this?”

  “No. It’s a curse.”

  “Yeah.” He was touched by the hollowness in Decker’s eyes.

  Beck couldn’t think of anything worse than witnessing Decker’s descent into madness, except Decker taking everyone else with him. Beck hoped Autumn would prevent it. He’d hoped he could prevent it. The idea he might not be able to protect Autumn and the witchlings while saving Decker from himself never crossed his mind before this night.

  “I’m gonna go,” Beck said. “I’ll come see you in the morning?”

  Decker nodded once. Beck stood. He wished there was something else to say. Something that helped one of them. If he hadn’t made a promise to Sam, he’d reveal to Decker what happened to Summer. It’d give Decker some hope to keep him from sinking into the Darkness. It’d probably jeopardize her second chance, which meant he’d destroy Decker forever.

  Hang in there, Decker, Beck begged his twin silently. His throat tightened, and he had the urge to run until the wired energy of his worried mind was gone. Instead, he turned away and walked to the corridor leading back to the school. A look over his shoulder revealed Decker kneeling at the cliff, his head bowed. Were there tears on his face?

  Guilty with the secrets he kept, Beck couldn’t stand to stay longer. He trudged through the forest, breathing in the cold air. There was no way he’d sleep tonight. He reached the Square and paused outside his dorm room. Instead of reaching for the handle, he continued to the main house through the kitchen and grabbed a few cookies. He heard the sound of the television in the living area before he emerged from the hallway and paused, not feeling up to entertaining people like he usually did. He rarely wanted to be alone. If ever there was a time, it was tonight.

  No one’s head was visible over the couch. He ventured closer to see if the TV was left on by accident and saw Autumn’s small frame curled up on one end of the couch, her bad leg kicked out on the ottoman. A faint flush was on her face. It stirred the part of him that was attracted to her while leaving him dismayed as well. He’d hoped Decker was messing with him about the kiss.

  It was going to be harder than he expected to drive a wedge between his twin and Autumn. Decker and Summer had been compelled to one another by more than attraction. If the fateful connection between them remained, Beck faced a decision he wasn’t ready to make.

  Autumn glanced at him then back, studying him.

  “Mind if I join you?” he asked.

  She shook her head and sat up. He unzipped his jacket and tossed it across one chair. He sat on the opposite end of the couch from her, staring blankly at the television for a minute.

  “I know that look,” Autumn said.

  He met her gaze. She frowned.

  “Rough night,” he said and held out a cookie. “Nothing a few cookies can’t fix.”

  She gave it a doubtful look. She seemed uncertain for a moment then rose and sat beside him. She wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head on his shoulder.

  He sighed at her calming touch. “Correction. Nothing a few cookies and a pretty girl can’t fix.”

  “Don’t ruin this,” she warned him. “You need a hug.”

  He slid his arms around her, touched she thought to comfort him when his earth magick told him how much pain she was in. Right now, he hurt, too. He rested his cheek against her soft hair as he thought of what was to come. Her body tugged at his magick, and he let it flow into her. She relaxed against him. Holding her warm body, he was forced to acknowledge how much was on the line for the first time. The urge to protect her rose stronger.

  “About visiting the forest after dark …” he started.

  “I know.”

  “Decker is dangerous, Autumn.”

  She said nothing, but he sensed her thoughts. Fear and desire, a potent combination. Troubled for more than one reason, Beck wondered what it’d take to protect her, when what remained of Summer was drawn to Decker. Decker had hesitated too long when Beck tried to warn him away from Autumn. All it took was Decker losing control around her once, and the body pressed against Beck ended up like Summer or the witchlings Decker slaughtered.

  Beck wasn’t going to let that happen. There was no one else to defend Autumn and the Light witchlings. It meant taking a stand against his brother, no matter what the consequences.

  “Are you okay?” she asked, lifting her head to look at him.

  “Not really.”

  “I don’t like seeing you like this.” Her large blue eyes were too wise and understanding for her youthful face. “You’re too good for such pain.”

  He gave a faint, sad smile and rested his forehead against hers. Normally, he had little restraint when he was attracted to someone. Autumn’s nearness and distinctly female scent made him want more than a hug. One Turner twin already put her through hell, and neither deserved her. He wasn’t sure how to protect her from himself.

  Autumn slid down into his arms again, her head against his chest. She was too innocent to know the effect she had on him.

  “And you? What could someone so sweet have done to deserve your pain?” he whispered.

  “I don’t know. It must’ve been bad. Maybe I really screwed up in a past life.”

  “I doubt it.”
<
br />   “Everyone makes mistakes.”

  “I think they’re called choices. Everyone makes choices, and some are terrible,” he said.

  Autumn pulled away from him to meet his gaze. “A bad one shouldn’t condemn you,” she said with anger in her voice.

  “You’re cute when you’re mad,” he said, smiling at the spark in her blue eyes.

  “I’m serious.”

  “I know. I like provoking you.”

  “That runs in the family, too,” she snapped. “I bet you don’t treat non-invalids like this.”

  “Nope. Just you,” he said, grinning. “Decker and I both have an eye for beautiful girls.”

  “Beautiful for a cripple.”

  “Beautiful period.”

  Her flush spread, and she ducked her gaze. “Whatever.”

  Beck pulled her against him again, comforted by her nearness. He had no idea what to do about his attraction or how far to go with her. If she was anyone else …if he was anyone else …if so much wasn’t on the line. She trusted him. He ached at the idea of what she’d think when she discovered how many lies he’d had to tell to keep the secret of who she was.

  Autumn sighed and wrapped her arms around him. For now, he was content with her in his arms.

  They fell silent. He heard her breathing deepen, and her body went limp. Beck shifted them when she’d fallen asleep until he was stretched out on the couch, her body resting on top of his and her legs extended between his. He propped his head up on the couch arm. With one arm draped around her, he grabbed the remote from the stand beside the couch and flipped channels.

  He’d be gone before Amber or anyone else stumbled upon them. In the meantime, he liked the feel of her body and knowing this was the first night she’d slept without pain since she went over the cliff. It was the least he could do. It seemed like the only thing he was able to do.

  Without her conscious effort to control her thoughts, they slipped free of her sleeping mind. She dreamt of falling off the cliff into Miner’s Drop. His grip around her tightened as he realized the memories were there. She couldn’t reach them, but he saw them. Over and over, she fell, reminding him how badly he’d failed her.